


Real hearts don't lie

by kooky500



Series: VK Legends Future!Verse [1]
Category: Vampire Knight (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Angst, Blood Drinking, Genderqueer Character, Hurt/Comfort, I'm back, IT'S ME, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Abuse, Past Child Abuse, Past Suicide Attempt, Porn with Feelings, Post-Break Up, References to Depression, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Zero is in a bad place, back again?, guess who's back???, there will be porn eventually
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-13
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-03-02 08:26:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 123,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18807427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kooky500/pseuds/kooky500
Summary: Zero and Kaname’s relationship has never been a good one. Or a particularly healthy one at that. Years of petty quarrels and fighting eventually grew into an ugly thing, fueled by the pureblood’s abusive behavior and the hunter’s persistent self-loathing.Zero was the first to reach his breaking point. Seven years ago, he stormed from that old, Kuran manor with a suitcase in each hand one night and never bothered to look back.And Kaname? He disappeared entirely after his mate’s abandonment and no one has seen hide nor hair of him since then. Until now.





	1. Chapter 1: From bad to worse

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! It's been a while since I posted anything for this fandom and I am really sorry about that. To be honest, I haven't been posting for any fandom recently as my depression just got to be too much for me to write for a long, long while. Things are getting better though and I'm getting back into enjoying life again! Yay!
> 
>  
> 
> If you read my previous multi-chaptered fic in this fandom, Trails of Blood and Wine I'm really sorry for abandoning that one. I just ran out of steam and inspiration. However, this one is already written and is being edited as I post, so that shouldn't happen this time around!
> 
> A couple of things real quick: This takes place way post-canon. As in, the main trio is in their 30's-ish now.
> 
> Hunters sleep during the day and are active at night since obviously, they need to be awake at the same time vampires are.
> 
> Ren is non-binary here. This is a bit of my own personal headcanon and I was really kind of disappointed when it turned out not to be true in canon.

Zero should really know better than to be surprised at this point when he comes home to find a person standing in his kitchen. Nevertheless, he can’t stop himself from jumping at the sight of the girl perched on the countertop, legs swaying back and forth. _Damn._ Maybe his guard is slipping after those years out of the field.

“If you’re going to stand there, at least help me put these away.” He says, plunking the paper grocery bags on the counter beside her. When the girl doesn’t move, he sighs.

“ _Ai._ ”

“Okay, _okay._ ” She mutters and hops down to the floor before grabbing a carton of eggs and stuffing it in the empty fridge. The girl pauses briefly to take in her uncle’s strange grocery habits. Did he not understand that you’re supposed to go shopping _before_ running out of food?

“If you’re looking for Ren, they’re out right now.” He informs his niece. Nine times out of ten when Ai comes around without warning, she’s looking for Ren. The two cousins are closer than either he or Yuuki ever really thought they’d be. But neither of them is about to complain.

“Yagari came by the house a few days ago,” Ai announces instead. “Mama scared him off.”

That _did_ sound like Yori. She was usually quiet, but when she got mad, she got _mad._ The woman had a temper on her, some would argue one that even rivaled her pureblood mate. He used to wonder why Yuuki hadn’t turned her. Until he asked the pureblood upfront.

_Yuuki looked at Zero like he’d grown a second head. “Turn her? Zero, I’ve seen what you go through. The way you torture yourself with as few feedings as you can. The bitterness, the hostility. Hell, when was the last time you even looked yourself in the mirror? And to top it all off, I already know that someday you’re-_

_She choked, and her face crumpled with sorrow. “I’m going to lose you. I can’t- I can’t go through that twice. I can’t watch her become one of those **things**!”_

_“Can’t say you’re wrong there.” It hurt, but he could admit it. He wouldn’t wish this on anyone._

_“So, you can put down your gun now, hunter.” She smirked before shaking her head with a bitter chuckle. “Being a vampire it- it changes you. You don’t even realize it, but suddenly you’re… different. I don’t even really know how to describe it. But I guess you’d know a little something about that.”_

_“Yeah, yeah I do.”_

They’d been so close once, he and Yuuki. Practically inseparable. Sure, they fought and bickered and drove Cross up the wall with their antics, but at the end of the day, they were still family. Until one day they just… weren’t. They looked at each other and realized neither of them knew a thing about the other.

Hell, he hadn’t even found out about Ai until a month after the girl’s adoption. Even finding out about her and Yori hadn’t precisely been intentional. He hadn’t yet known she was a lesbian for starters.

_“I always sort of knew but I never really **knew,**_ **” __**_She murmured. “Even with Kaname. Sure, I admired him and respected him, but everyone else assumed that meant I was in love with him and I- I let them believe that. It was just easier to let them believe that than to deal with the opposite.”_

_Zero knew precisely what she was talking about. Oh, how he knew. The whispers, the furtive glances mostly borne of disgust and revulsion. He wasn’t an idiot, he heard the whispers that he was gay. After all, he never dated or showed interest in the girls and any chocolates or gifts he received were thrown away, so it wasn’t an absurd conclusion to come to. The difference between Yuuki and him was that he never really bothered to give a shit what other people thought. Sure, he never confirmed any of the rumors, but neither did he outright deny them._

_“And then when Kaname woke up my pureblood side I simply didn’t feel much of anything towards him at all. There was simply nothing there.” The woman looked down at the cup of tea in her lap with clouded vision._

_“I didn't have to hide anymore.”_

Lost in his thoughts, it took Ai’s voice to shake Zero and bring him back to the present.

“I overheard her telling Mother that he wants you to come back.”

_And there it is._ This was the same fucking reason why Zero had dropped contact with his old teacher, his father – mostly anyone but Yuuki, years ago. The hunting, the drinking, the fucking bloodsucker bullshit. He was just so tired of it all. He only wanted to live his remaining years with his sanity intact, in _peace._ Was that so bad of a thing to want?

Apparently so.

“Tough shit.”

He’s so fucking done with everything to do with those bloodsuckers.

“Is it because of him?” Ai’s voice is quiet, cautious.

“Not all of it.” A big chunk, sure. But he’s not to blame in his entirety. _Kaname._ He-who-must-not-be-named. Honestly, Zero doesn’t get why they all have such an issue mentioning him in the hunter’s presence. He’s not made of glass. He won’t break down at the mention of his ex.

It had come as a shock to everyone when they broke things off. High school sweethearts and all that mushy bullshit. Everyone wants to believe in fate and love at first sight. A fairytale romance. Who wouldn’t want that? But that’s not how relationships work. It never is.

At first, it was little things. Fights about dinner or grocery shopping. Little things. Which then turned into bigger things. Kaname was worried Zero wasn’t feeding often enough and Zero felt like the pureblood was trying to control him. Zero’s clothes came home reeking of blood or Kaname was roped into some ridiculous demand of the council again.

They always found something to get angry about, concerning the other. Zero was losing himself inside the prison of his own making, drowning in his self-loathing. How can you love someone when you hate yourself? He couldn’t stand the feeling of warm copper washing over his teeth. So, he’d dig his claws into himself, over and over in retaliation for the pain these people had suffered. Mirrors were tossed out. All of them. If the servants noticed his absence during meals, none of them ever said anything.

Kaname was caught up in his damned savior complex, as he always had been. Still determined to take on everything and fix problems that were never his to begin with. He followed the council’s every demand, never mind the fact that he could kill them all in ten seconds, flat. Never home, never around. The council’s dog - off running their errands.

On the rare occasion that Kaname wasn’t off playing the hero? He wanted to know what Zero was doing, who he was with and what he’d done that day. He’d sit and watch Zero feed even. Everything was controlled by Kaname. If Kaname didn’t like one of Zero’s friends? Then he would never see that friend again.

Kaname wished to see him. Kaname didn’t like his new hunting partner. Kaname wished for him to wear this or that. Kaname, Kaname, _Kaname._ It all came back to him.

Maddening, all of it. A decade after they’d graduated and Zero’s little remaining sanity was draining by the day. He wasn’t himself anymore. Anything that was Zero was gone and replaced by _Kaname._ The very thing he’d once sworn to himself he’d never become. He looked in his reflection in a glass of water and didn’t quite know what he was looking at.

When they weren’t fighting, it was because they were busy fucking. That was all that was left of them at that point. Zero didn’t even know if he loved Kaname anymore. Was this really what he wanted for himself?

It was then that something finally clicked. Zero found himself reaching for the suitcases and shoving all of his belongings into his luggage. Kaname was at a council meeting, so it wasn’t likely he’d be home anyway. All the better, for Zero, didn’t know if he’d be able to do this face-to-face. He left the manor with an armful of suitcases and a note on the kitchen table. Zero didn’t look back.

“It’s more than that.”

“Will you tell me?” Ai questions, staring up at her uncle with big brown eyes. It’s no question who she gets her curiosity from.

“Someday.” Zero answers, ruffling her hair and receiving an annoyed huff in return. Her face is an echo of Yuuki’s from a time long gone, and there’s a dull pang of hurt in his chest at the image.

To be honest, Zero isn't quite sure he's ready to really talk about what happened between him and Kaname to anyone yet. He and Kaname have been separated for a few years now, during which he hadn’t seen hide nor hair of the pureblood – no one had. But occasionally the wound still stung like someone had poured salt on it.

It was times like that when he’d find himself searching for the small, velvet box he’d discovered in their bedroom. He’d open it and remove the silver ring inside, lifting it to watch the light dance off the amethyst and garnet stones before putting it back and pretending that it didn’t feel like losing a piece of himself. He’d blink back the wetness in his eyes and say it was just a bit of dust.

Oh, how Zero _hated_ it. That Kaname still had this effect, this hold over him. He wondered at the same time if the pureblood was feeling just as lost. Did he also wake up in the evenings, expecting the warmth of another body beside his? Did he find himself aching at the phantom sensation of fangs buried in his neck?

“You still miss him though. I know you do,” She needled.

“I do,” Zero allowed. “And… I don’t. It’s complicated, Ai.” Of course, he’d be lying if he said he didn’t miss Kaname. He missed feeling a pair of arms wrap around him during his nightly patrols and sneaking out of the night class dorm in the morning hours. He missed the lazy evenings spent in bed and Kaname’s persistent attempts to teach Zero how to waltz. He missed what they’d been before everything went wrong.

“I don’t get it.”

“You will when you’re older. Trust me.”

The girl pouted and folded her arms, giving Zero the strangest sense of deja-vu once again. She looked so much like Yuuki; it was scary at times.

“So, did you only come here to interrogate me or is something else on your mind?”

“That’s all,” She murmured. “Mama thought you might be lonely. Considering…”

Right. Of course. Once more, he was being treated like he was some fragile, porcelain doll. Tonight would mark the seventh year he’d been separated from Kaname. The seventh year after the pureblood had up and disappeared after he left without even a fucking word. _Like the coward he is._

Zero took a deep breath, forced his hands to unclench at his sides. It wasn’t Ai’s fault, taking it out on her would be unfair.

“I’ll be fine, Ai. Don’t worry about me. I promise.”

The silence was deafening. Now, the apartment Zero and Ren lived in was not particularly small, it had a kitchen, two bedrooms, and a living room. But after Ai left, it was suddenly impossibly small yet far too large at the same time.

There was nothing to _do_ either. The laundry was finished, and he’d just cleaned only yesterday. All the while, the quiet ticking of the clock was giving Zero a strong desire to hit something. His boredom was deafening and _so damn_ annoying.

In the end, he found himself on his bed, staring blankly at the white ceiling above him. God, he was so _tired._ An old, bone-deep exhaustion dragged his aching body down into the sheets. He was so damn weary of it all. Before he even knew what was happening his eyes had drifted closed of their own accord.

Sometime later a hand grips his shoulder, gently shaking his body. Zero wrinkles his nose and attempts to shift away, pulling the sheets up closer around him.

“ _Zero_ ,” Ren says, continuing to nudge the slumbering vampire. It takes a few minutes more before Zero rolls over onto his back. His eyes open and squint at the light before closing again.

“What time is it?” He forces out, voice rough with sleep.

“It’s nearly three in the morning. How long have you been _sleeping_?”

_Fuck._ Zero lets his head fall back onto the pillow. The trouble is he doesn’t _know._ It was sometime around sunset when he started his nap. No, that can’t be right. But he knows at the same time that it must be. _Did I really sleep that long?_

His body protests as he drags himself from the bed. Bones and joints crack loudly while others cramp up in protest or simply ache for no reason at all than to spite him. He doesn’t miss the little furrow between Ren’s eyebrows, but he hates himself for putting it there.

“You can’t keep doing this,” Ren utters under their breath.

For once Zero can’t pretend he doesn’t know what they’re referring to. “I know, Ren.” _I know._

Zero stands and stretches under the watchful eye of Ren. It’s funny, he can still remember how timid and withdrawn the child was when he first met them years ago. They wouldn’t say two words at first – to anyone, much less Zero. They’d been practically shaking like a leaf and suspicious of every damn thing. Only time had won him Ren’s trust and not in the least bit easily.

_When did you grow up so fast?_

*

Like this, things almost seem normal. Zero stands at the stove, stirring a wooden spoon in a pot of boiling pasta while Ren has taken up a seat at the kitchen table. A pencil moves mindlessly across a sheet of homework, a textbook lays open on the table beside it. At this moment they’re just Zero and Ren. Not a hunter, not a level D – all of those are nonexistent. He can almost feel something other than the numbness in his chest.

There’s a knock on the door that makes Ren pause in their work. Zero’s eyes narrow. He doesn’t give his address to just _anyone_. Only a small number of people are privy to that information these days, and he knows for a fucking _fact_ that none of them would be knocking on his door without a call beforehand.

Zero stiffens and watches Ren do the same in alarm.

Another series of knocks sounds, three solid hits against the wood. Zero catches Ren’s gaze and holds a finger up to his lips. He reaches behind him, carefully removing Bloody Rose. He’s never been more grateful that he still keeps the gun on him at all times. He jerks his head back towards the hallway in a soundless command. _Hide._

The teenager nods, silently jumping up and moving out of the room on quick, quiet feet.

Zero steels himself as he approaches the door. His heart beats steadily in his chest, muscles taut with tension. If it’s a vampire on the other side of that door, it certainly wouldn’t be the first time they had a problem with one of their own living with a _hunter_. Because god forbid, anyone bothered to give a shit about the pureblood bastard child.

Like fucking hell, he’s letting anyone take Ren away from him.

He sucks in a breath and yanks open the door before he can stop himself.

Bloody Rose falls from his hands, the chain connected to it being the only thing preventing the weapon from hitting the ground. The air leaves Zero’s lungs in one fell swoop. The color drains from his face. And he wavers on his feet, the world having been yanked out from beneath his very feet. Everything around him is spiraling.

“Zero.”

It’s just one word. Only one damn word and that teeth-grating, irritating, _breath-taking_ smile and Zero knows- oh he _knows,_ he’s damned himself.

He rushes forward and throws his arms around the man’s shoulders, fingers digging into his back and clutching the dark fabric of the man’s coat. The smell of saffron and roses (which did well in masking the ever-present scent of copper and ozone that clung to him like a second skin) assaults Zero’s nose, hitting him like a punch to the gut. His grip tightens.

“What took you so long?”


	2. Chapter 2: No I won't smile, but I'll show you my teeth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero's emotions are a mess as he confronts Kaname and finally demands some answers. It goes about as well as you'd expect.

“Can we talk?”

 

Zero hesitated. He didn’t want to, not by a long shot. Facing Kaname was about the furthest from _anything_ he wanted. But perhaps they needed to. There was so much unspoken and unsaid between them. _God,_ seeing his mate in front of him again, alive and well, a traitorous part of the ex-hunter’s heart, gave a little lurch in his chest.

 

“About what?” He returned with that signature scowl of his that he’d had years to perfect by now, sitting right at home on the former hunter’s expression.

 

Kaname fixed him with a slight smile. One of those forced ones that said he knew Zero was trying to be an ass. “Everything.”

 

“Might as well get it over with,” Zero muttered under his breath before stepping aside and giving a mocking sweeping motion with his arm. “How did you find out where I live?” He asked as Kaname stepped into the apartment. He closed and locked the deadbolt behind him. _Better safe than sorry._

 

Kaname hummed. “You of all people should know I have my ways.”

 

“ _And_ you’re back on your cryptic bullshit. Of course, you are.”

 

Zero rolled his eyes and brushed past the brunette who followed after him. He led Kaname towards the small dining table near the kitchen area. City-lights and streetlamps glittered outside of crystal-clear window panes. He didn’t give Kaname the courtesy of pulling a chair out for him, so the pureblood was forced to do so himself and take a seat at what was quickly beginning to feel like an interrogation room.

 

Zero was much too restless to sit right now, so he settled instead for leaning against the windows and taking in the view that he’d seen dozens of times before if only to avoid looking at the pureblood.

 

A minute passed then two, and Zero stood from his position to idly pace the floor. It put him on edge, having the pureblood here in his home, it made him all tense in a way he hadn’t experienced since he was still a hunter. It wasn’t a good feeling, and his relentless pacing did nothing to quell that, but he needed to move, to do _something_ at least.

 

The air was heavy with silence. There were so many questions Zero burned to ask, so much that he wanted to know, trouble was he didn’t know where even to start. Across from him, Kaname sat still as a statue. He hadn’t even yet taken his coat off. There he was, looking like he hadn’t even been gone a day let alone _years._

 

And after the initial shock of his appearance, the ex-hunter’s buried anger rose to the surface once more. Zero stomped over to where the brunette sat and promptly flung a hand out, snapping it across his face and watching the pale flesh of Kaname’s cheek bloom red beneath the force of the blow.

 

“What the _hell,_ Kaname?” Zero didn’t bother trying to keep the anger from his voice. It was still so hard to believe – his ex who’d been missing for years was sitting across from him at his kitchen table. The hunter shook his head and wondered what in the hell he ever did to deserve this.

 

“You were gone for years, Kaname. Yuuki, Cross, _me_ – none of us had a single fucking clue about where you had gone, and then you have the gall to show up here like- like nothing happened.”

 

“I-“

 

Zero found he didn’t have the patience or desire to hear whatever excuse the pureblood as concocted this time inside that fucked up mind of his. “Do _not!_ You don’t have the fucking right, Kuran.”

 

Zero wasn’t the least bit guilty about the flicker of pain that he saw on Kaname’s face at that. Anger burned hot in his veins, and he would be lying if he claimed there wasn’t the tiniest flicker of satisfaction in his chest.

 

“I seem to recall you were the first one to leave.” The pureblood commented with a snide raise of his brow.

 

“Really?” Zero paused in his pacing to gape. “Is that how you want to play this? Yes, Kaname. I _left._ I left because you changed. You became the council’s fucking lapdog, always running off to serve their every whim. And you were so damn controlling. For fuck’s sake, I should be able to do things on my own without having to tell you every damn thing or every place I went to!”

 

“I was concerned for your safety. You know the risks that come with being together with a pureblood.” Kaname tried to argue, beginning to raise his voice in response to Zero’s anger.

 

Zero scoffed. “Bullshit. I’m not some goddamn pet- I’m a fucking _hunter_. I can take care of myself! And don’t you fucking forget about the way you had to vet every damn hunter I tried to work with – and God forbid if I ever made a friend. Remember Eve?”

 

“And who was it that found out she was stealing funds from the Association?” Kaname shot back. Zero’s teeth ground together as he fought to keep from knocking the smugness from that expression.

 

“That’s not the _point,_ Kaname! Yes, Eve proved to have less than honorable intentions, but what about the rest? Rafael? Momoka? Yasu? You sent them all running scared with their tail tucked between their legs!”

 

Kaname said nothing in response to that, and suddenly the glossy wooden surface of Zero’s table looked very interesting. Zero was _far_ from done.

 

“Everything became about _you_ , Kaname! You never cared about me or what I wanted to do. It was always “Zero, we have to make an appearance at this party” or “Zero, we’re meeting this person for dinner” “Zero make sure to remember that meeting we must attend.” It was always about what you wanted, not _once_ did you even fucking ask. What about what _I_ wanted, Kaname?” He was practically screaming at this point, and surely Ren could hear everything that was going on.

 

“And every time I tried to speak up, you inevitably threw a fucking tantrum, and it ended in a shouting argument before I’d back down only to please _you._ Every fucking thing was always about _you._ Yes, I left. I left because I lost sight of who I was – who _Zero_ was. You did what you always do - you took and took until there was nothing more left to give.”

 

Zero shook his head and fought to keep from yelling at the top of his lungs. He felt- he didn’t quite know what he felt anymore other than defeat. “I couldn’t live like that anymore.”

 

Kaname remained as silent and stoic as ever. Zero’s fingers curled with the urge to hit and punch and _hurt_ the pureblood if only to get a damn reaction from him. It was as though nothing got through to the pureblood; it had always been that way. He honestly wasn’t sure what he expected. Kaname never listened before, why should that change now?

 

He was so tired of everything. The hunters, the bloodsuckers and now Kaname. Why couldn’t they all leave him alone and let Zero live his fucking life in peace?

 

Zero planted his hands firmly on the table’s surface and let his head fall forward. He couldn’t even stand to look at the vampire. Right when he thought that all of those memories and wounds had begun to fade and scar, Kaname comes right back into his life and brings them all back to the surface. He’d only just been able to _breathe._

 

“Say something,” Zero demanded though he’s not sure if part of him needs to hear the man’s voice or only wants an explanation. An explanation that is well-deserved by now, he should think. He managed to look up in favor of cutting the pureblood an icy glare.

 

“What do you want to hear from me, Zero? That I’m sorry? I _am._ I understand that you may doubt my words and refuse to believe me – but I am sorry, Zero. I’ve never regretted anything as much as I did when I came home that night and found you gone.” Kaname’s voice was soft in a display of raw openness that he’s never heard nor seen from the pureblood before.

 

“I’d take it all back if I could.” The pureblood whispered.

 

“Well, you can’t.”

 

Kaname did look up then, meeting Zero’s venomous gaze head-on. And Zero could see a somber tilt of his lips. “No, I can’t.”

 

 _Where do we go from here?_ The question lingered in the air, stale and festering between them like an infected cut. There was so much that laid broken and scattered between them. Old wounds that had been left to rot and decay amongst the busted pieces of the relationship they once had. He couldn’t trust Kaname anymore, no matter how much he wanted to be able to.

 

“You’re looking well,” Kaname commented quietly.

 

Zero’s lips thinned as he took in the rich, brown waves that now fell to his shoulders and the striking, sharp cheekbones. Kaname hadn’t changed all that much either, still looking as handsome as ever. But if Kaname came here fishing for compliments, he wasn’t going to find any.

 

Zero sighed in irritation and exhaustion. “Why did you come here, Kaname?” All of the anger had bled out from him. He didn’t have the energy for it, and it was getting old beating around the bush. He just wanted this whole thing to be _over._

 

“I don’t know.” Which sounded like a fucking lie if Zero has ever heard one. Living with Kaname, he became very acquainted with the concept.

 

Kaname, however, found himself surprised at the sudden lack of anger in the hunter’s voice. Where had the passionate hunter, whose temper was once a force that rained down like fire from the sky, gone? For the first time since he set foot in the small apartment, he took the time to look at his ex-lover _._ Zero’s shirt hung loose on his frame, dark fabric against pale skin. His eyes were dull beneath the bags and shadows of sleepless nights. _What happened to you, Zero?_

 

“I must admit, this doesn’t seem like your style,” Kaname said with a glance around the apartment, hoping Zero wouldn’t recognize or mind him changing the subject. It hurt like a dagger stabbing his chest, having Zero so close after all these years but being unable to touch him. Even worse, knowing he had only himself to blame.

 

The man shrugged lightly. “Yeah, well, when you’re living off a hunter’s pension, the money only goes so far.”

 

“You’ve retired?” _Why?_

 

“Yeah, a few years ago now. The killing, the constant nightmares, and feeling like I always had to look over my shoulder, I woke up one day and realized that I couldn’t do it anymore. I just got tired of it all.”

 

That doesn’t sound like Zero – _his_ Zero. Zero had taken pride in what he did. Shooting ‘bloodsuckers’ and saving innocents had always been the one thing Zero loved more than anything. Kaname didn’t know what to find when he chose to pay a visit to his ex, but it wasn’t _this._ This shell of a hunter.

 

Zero’s lilac gaze flickered away from Kaname, looking over the man’s shoulder to the hallway behind him. He stiffened at the sight of a pair of eyes peeking out into the room and hoped desperately that the pureblood didn’t notice it.

_Shit, shit, shit._ Kaname was a pureblood. Ren was a pureblood. Purebloods are well known as territorial beings, and he’d just welcomed another one into what is, essentially, Ren’s turf. _Why hadn’t I bothered to think about that?_ But it was a bit useless to berate himself now.

 

Zero stood from the table as casually as he could, all anger and other lingering emotions he may or may not have had about his ex, momentarily forgotten. “I have to take care of something for a second; excuse me.”

 

“Wait.” Kaname stopped him. “Have you eaten yet?”

 

“I- No, why?” Confusion echoed on Zero’s features as he stared at the man.

 

The pureblood smiled, and Zero hated the way his breath caught in his throat at the sight. He shook his head. _No, you’re better than that._ He couldn’t help but gape in surprise though at the pureblood’s next words.

 

“I would cook for you if you’ll allow me.”

 

“ _You_ know how to _cook?_ ” Zero blurted out before he could stop himself. The idea was almost laughable, especially considering that Kaname hadn’t eaten human food in _years_ probably and god only knows, how bad a vampire’s taste buds are.

 

There was a glint in the vampire’s eye. “I may have learned a few new skills in the time I was gone. It’s the least I can do for you, Zero.”

 

Who the hell was this, and where was the real Kaname? Zero was beginning to wonder if the pureblood before him was a clone or a doppelganger of some kind. The mating bond between them begged to differ. _At least there’s no chance of him poisoning it. Well, okay, a very slim chance._

 

It didn’t make up for everything Kaname had done. Not in the slightest. But it was an attempt at the very least. And though it might not be much, it was a start.

 

“Fine.”

 

***

 

“You’re angry.” Are the first words Ren speaks to Zero, looking up from the comic book in their lap. They flip the book closed and toss it onto the nightstand beside their bed.

 

“Not at you,” Zero assures the teen. Over the years he’s come to understand that Ren always tends to assume the worst unless told otherwise. Any anger is always directed at _them;_ anything that goes wrong is ever their fault and must always be _their_ responsibility. It’s an on-going process of breaking those horrible thoughts.

 

“I saw you yelling at the man in the kitchen. It’s his fault, isn’t it?”

 

“A lot of it, yeah.”

 

Ren’s lips thin and Zero can nearly hear the gears turning in their head. They’ve never liked secrets and being kept in the dark about things. But they’d also much rather figure it out on their own than Zero telling them.

 

“Kaname?” Ren tried, the name sounding odd and foreign on their tongue.

 

“Where did you hear that name?” Zero questioned irritably. It wasn’t that he was keeping everything about Kaname from Ren on purpose but, well they’d had enough bad experiences with purebloods without Zero adding to that list.

 

They hunched in on themselves. “Ai mentioned him a few times. She said- she said he hurt you. Is that true?”

 

Zero rubbed at his temples. _Ai,_ of course, they’d hear it from Ai. Dear as she was, that girl had Yuuki’s gift for eavesdropping and butting in where she didn’t belong. “Haven’t I told you to take everything Ai says with a grain of salt? It’s not that simple, kid.”

 

There’s an angry frown between Ren’s brows.

 

Although fuzzy, they can also remember a time when Zero talked about the only person with whom he’d ever fallen in love. There had been something wistful and sad in Zero’s voice when he spoke of a mysterious pureblood. It’s not hard to put two and two together.

 

“Kaname and I have an er- _history,_ but it’s not as black and white as what Ai told you. I-I don’t know what I think if I'm honest.” Zero said. But he’d look like an asshole if he tossed the pureblood out now and- and maybe some part of him wanted to hear him out.

 

He wanted to believe that the man wasn’t the same as the old Kaname he knew. Oh, did he want to believe that Kaname had changed; that the man in the next room was different from the one he’d left behind all those years ago. But he wasn’t that naïve. Kaname didn’t change; he never did for anyone or anything. It wasn’t in his nature.

 

And Zero refused to fall prey to the vampire’s charms and wiles this time. Never again, he told himself. He’d sit and listen, hear Kaname out for this evening and then never see him again. He owed himself that much at least, for closure.

 

“He’s a pureblood.” Red murmured with a nervous twist of their hands.

 

“Yes, he is. He isn’t like those other purebloods you knew, I promise.” Zero assures them after a moment’s hesitation.

 

Their expression twisted into something that said they didn’t believe him one bit. Zero couldn’t fault them for being cautious, but it hurt to see them so paranoid all the same.

 

He takes a seat on the bed beside the teenager on the bed. “Kaname isn’t going to hurt you, Ren. I swear.”

 

“I- I believe you. It’s just that-“ The knot of increasing anxiety in their chest didn’t. It sat there growing and growing like a tumor that refused to budge. Ren despised how helpless it made them feel like nothing would ever fix it no matter what they did, and everything was going to go wrong.

 

“Kaname is joining us for dinner.” Zero confessed. “And before you start - I’m not saying you don’t have to like him, Ren. Hell, you don’t even have to talk to him if you don’t want to. But I would appreciate your company.”

 

The teenager idly plucked at the fabric of their sheets, already dreading it. A cold shudder wracked their spine at the idea of being in a room with another pureblood – Ai and Aunt Yuuki were the exceptions to that, and sometimes even their presence made Ren uncomfortable. “Do I have to?”

 

“Kid, you know I’m not going to force you to do anything you don’t want to do.”

 

The teenager nodded and immediately grew ashamed for thinking so low of Zero. _Stupid._ It was _Zero,_ after all; they should know by now that he would never force them to do anything.

 

“Alright.” Ren decided, standing from their bed. They still didn’t like the idea of being in a room with a pureblood, let alone _that_ man, not in the slightest. But they could be nice for one evening if it meant that much to Zero.

 

“Are you sure you’re comfortable with this?” Zero pressed, trailing after them. The teenager paused, digging their hands into the pockets of their hoody and eyes flickering to the floor. Without looking up, they gave a hesitant nod.

 

“I _want_ to.” They murmured with determination. They wanted to overcome this cumbersome fear in their way, more than anything.

 

Zero’s lips curled into a smile, and he leaned in to press a kiss to the teenager’s forehead. “Thanks, kid.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ren is just a smol bean.


	3. Chapter 3: Sip it till you're tipsy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname meets Ren, Ren's algebra skills are called into question and Zero makes bad decisions while under the influence of alcohol. Good times all around.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to warn you right now, this chapter gets cheesy towards the end. Cause Kaname is Extra(tm) like that. Also, more of Ren's backstory and how they met Zero is revealed - may or may not do a prequel one-shot with more detail on that, we'll see.
> 
> Brief discussions of past child abuse, so keep that in mind if that sort of stuff bothers you.
> 
> Couple of things I also might have forgotten to mention: Zero and Kaname are still mated in this AU, but mating is just the vampire version of marriage here. No special powers or anything. A mating bond has to be renewed every seven years or else it will dissolve on its own, but it can be dissolved before then if one wishes. Cheating on one's mate is considered one of the biggest taboos in vampire society. Seriously, even the council would side-eye someone cheating on their mate.
> 
> Also, because canon VK is set post-apocalypse I kinda wanted to touch on that. This one is too, they've just had time to rebuild in the centuries that followed. However, I like to imagine that the countries we know today don't exist anymore in this future and instead different ones exist, because the land and literally everything else has changed. So that's also why I'm not using Japanese honorifics because technically it doesn't take place in Japan.

Zero’s heart was in his throat as he stepped into the kitchen, taking care to position himself in front of Ren. Not only was the teenager a stranger to the man, but they were a _pureblood_ in the house of Kaname’s _mate._ There was no telling how he would react.

 

He cleared his throat. “Er- Kuran?” His whole body snapped taut with tension as the man turned to face Zero.

 

Kaname’s blood turned to ice in his veins, even as he fought to keep his shock from showing on his face save for a slight widening of his eyes. Because standing behind Zero was a teenager and one who looked very much like the hunter himself. Without meaning to, he let out a low hissing noise from his throat.

 

His heart nearly stopped for a moment, wondering if he was intruding, if Zero had managed to move on and create a family with a woman. But no, Zero was gay he _knew_ that much. He paused to look closer at the kid, noticing how the hair was like Zero’s but more blonde than silver and the eyes held more blue than purple. Even the facial structure didn’t have a hint of the hunter in it. It seemed not even Zero would go as far as to betray his mate.

 

The teenager wore a pair of dark pants that looked like they belonged to a school uniform, along with a white shirt peeking out from beneath their over-sized hoodie. They bowed their head at the noise from the older vampire and took a step backward with a flash of red eyes, acknowledging Kaname as the dominant pureblood by doing so. Kaname tilted his head at the action. Such an unusual thing, for a pureblood to surrender so easily to another of their kind.

 

“Ren, this is Kaname Kuran. Kaname, this is Ren.”

 

The kid didn’t speak, only glancing at him with a nod before taking a seat at the table. So, _this_ had been what Zero had to see to. Kaname felt unease stirring in his gut. Children were not something he’d encountered often. He had no way of knowing how to act around them or even talk to them. Before now, he would have assumed the same of Zero as well, but clearly, that was not the case.

 

He looked over Ren. It occurred to him that he didn’t know if the child was a boy or a girl. He couldn’t tell for the life of him. This certainly complicated matters. But Kaname would _try_ , for Zero.

 

“Hello, Ren.” He greeted with a brittle smile as he fixed and handed the teenager a plate with noodles covered in red sauce and meatballs. When they hesitated, he wondered if he’d made a mistake in assuming the teenager ate human food. Eventually, they took the plate from his hands, giving Kaname a wary look as they did so and giving the food a look that said the child was questioning if it was poisoned or not.

 

Deeming the food safe, the teenager gave another nod towards him, before beginning to eat with small, cautious bites, content to ignore Kaname altogether. Their dislike was palpable, yet Kaname could feel the calm aura of a pureblood emanating from the child without even a hint that suggested they were challenging him. _Strange._ It was nearly unheard of to have more than one pureblood in a room without them butting heads.

 

Kaname chose not to press the matter as he sat down to eat with the Kiriyus’. Admittedly, cooking was something he was still rather inexperienced at but this much at least, he could make. He’d even found a bottle of red wine, pouring a glass for both he and Zero.

 

Zero let out a noise of surprise as he slowly took a small bite of the food. Loathe as he was to say anything, it wasn’t half bad. It was _good_ even _._ He caught Kaname eyeing him with a smug smile and quickly scowled at him in return. Because like hell he would compliment that asshole.

 

They ate in silence for the most part, with the occasional question from Zero aimed at Ren. Kaname was quite perplexed by the quiet child. The teenager seemed to be the exact opposite of Zero, and he could not fathom at all how they got along with each other, given their differences.

 

“So, how was school?” Zero asked. He was consciously aware of the pureblood beside him, and his hands grew clammy where they gripped the silverware. It was laughable almost; how strange the whole picture was. He was eating dinner made by ex and _with_ his ex and his kid. The very same ex that had only an hour ago been missing for seven years. What was his life anymore?

 

“Fine.”

 

“Uh-huh. And that algebra test?” Under any other circumstances, he would detest menial conversation. But right now, Zero needed to talk about anything _other_ than the glaring elephant in the room. In a few quick sips, he finished his glass of red wine and reached for the bottle to pour another one.

 

Ren colored noticeably at the question and looked guiltily away. The first real flicker of emotion Kaname had seen on the teen’s face all evening. “Um- fine.” The child squeaked after risking a glance at Zero and bracing for the hunter’s resulting anger.

 

Instead Zero only pressed a hand to his temple. “ _Ren,_ you have to understand that I can’t help you if I don’t know you _need_ help.”

 

“I know.” The resignation in Ren’s tone suggested this wasn’t the first time they’d had this conversation.

 

“Good. Then we’ll be going over that test this weekend.”

 

Ren seemingly knew better than to argue with that, giving a curt nod even as the teenager’s shoulder slumped. The older vampire’s eyes flickered between Zero and the child, watching and hearing how casual each of them was with the other. His chest ached dully, and he could not help but feel like he was intruding. He cleared his throat in an attempt to clear it of the sudden tightness. It didn’t work.

 

The vampire knew better than to ask any prying questions, yet all the same, throughout the meal they kept eating at him. He would never have thought to see the day where Zero willingly took a child into his care. Yet here they were. _But why?_ That one question remained stubbornly at the forefront of his mind and refused to be shaken.

 

Sometime during the meal, indigo eyes turned to Kaname, catching the pureblood as he studied the child. Ren’s gaze narrowed thoughtfully. “I can hear you thinking.”

 

He hummed. “Can you now? What a fine listener, you must be then.”

 

Zero shot Kaname a warning glance that both the teenager and older pureblood ignored.

 

“Let me guess; you don’t know if I’m a boy or a girl and it bothers you.” Ren surmised with hardly more than a murmur.

 

It wasn’t a question. And Kaname could not help but feel as though he’d offended or misstepped somewhere. Not that Ren was wrong. He _had_ been asking himself that, especially since the younger pureblood’s aura gave nothing away unlike most vampires. _Peculiar child, indeed._

 

“And how did you arrive at that conclusion?”

 

They gave him a flat, unimpressed look. “You aren’t at all subtle. You wouldn’t be the first person to wonder either. I get that question a lot.” The teenager replied. “I’m neither.” They helpfully finished.

 

He blinked. “Pardon?”

 

“Why should I have to choose between one or the other? I don’t feel like a boy, and I don’t feel like a girl either. So that means I’m neither. I’m Ren.” They answered matter-of-factly with an added shrug.

 

Kaname’s brows climbed on his forehead. Well, that was undoubtedly a response. Not one he’d been expecting per se, but an answer nonetheless. He’d never heard of someone claiming to be neither gender and as such, the entire idea was odd to him. “I… see.”

 

Not that he much cared. What business of his was it if the child preferred not to be either gender? The vampire could feel Ren’s gaze linger on him as he returned to his food, scrutinizing him. He bit back a smile, remembering a silver-haired hunter doing the very same thing when he’d first met him. But there was more to Ren’s gaze, almost as though they were daring or expected Kaname to say something in response. An insult or protest perhaps.

 

When none came, Ren finally broke their staring, seemingly satisfied with his response.[KG1] Why did it feel as though he had just passed some unspoken test?

 

Despite whatever had just transpired between them though, the teenager still retained a frosty attitude towards Kaname throughout the rest of the meal.

 

The teenager finished eating quickly, devouring the plate of food set in front of them and pausing to dab at their mouth with the napkin. They excused themselves from the table, placing their plate in the sink and retreating to the safety of their room. All without a glance at the older pureblood.

 

Which left Kaname alone with Zero.

 

“I daresay Ren isn’t fond of my presence,” Kaname spoke after they disappeared. Zero’s stony gaze softened at the mention of the teenager.

 

“It’s not all your fault this time. Ren is slow to trust people. They’ve been through a lot. They take time to open up to new people.” Zero assured him, though unable to fathom why he said such a thing. _I shouldn’t care about how he feels, so why do I?_

 

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you end up caring for-“ Kaname paused to search for the right word. “ _Them?_ ” He settled on. “You’ve never struck me as particularly fond of children or the idea of parenting.”

 

Zero downed another glass of wine before answering. He blamed his sudden urge to chatter on the wine. He’d always been more talkative than he liked when he got tipsy. “It’s not pretty. Long story short, Ren was the product of an affair that happened after two purebloods were arranged to be married. Lady had goodbye sex with her lover, and nine months later? Out pops Ren, not looking a thing like her husband.”

 

A fact which only became even more evident as Ren aged and showed no signs of their “father’s” appearance, with a simple test confirming his fears. Of course, what were they to do with a pureblood bastard child? Adoption would only raise more questions. No, getting rid of the child was out of the question.

 

Zero could still remember that day for more clearly than he’d like. The frantic protests of the couple insisting that they were “oh so _innocent”_ and knew “absolutely nothing” about the blood slaves in their basement. Another hunter had led them away in chains while Zero and a few others searched the house.

 

As he pried open the doors to the damp cellar, sunlight filling the space behind him, an unmistakable foul odor had hit him — blood, dried and crusted on the floor and the walls. Bruised and starved human slaves sat or stood chained in cells while another one held a child, crouched in the corner with rags covering their thin form. The air was rancid with urine and excrement and beneath even that, bitter fear, as he edged closer to the child’s cell.

 

He’d been met with a feral growl and crimson eyes flashing.

 

“I was the one to find the kid after the association ordered a search of the property. I’ve seen a lot of shit- but _that_ \- that one still haunts me sometimes.” Zero failed to keep the anger from his voice at the memories. God, it had _hurt_ seeing the child like that. The visage had become a regular in his nightmares.

 

“It took a while, but I was the only one able to coax them out eventually. They glued themselves to my side after that. Hell, even getting them to let go so we could bathe them and get them clean clothes was one hell of a hassle. Since I was the only one Ren would even let _near_ them, I became their temporary guardian while their folks were on trial.”

 

“And how did _that_ go?” Kaname could only imagine how things must have been between the surly hunter and that shy, withdrawn child at first.

 

“Not well at first.” It was beginning to get far too comfortable telling Kaname all of this.

 

It took a long time before Ren grew comfortable around him. Even now, they had their limits.

 

Their folks were eventually found guilty and executed. But by then, the little shit had grown on Zero. Zero couldn’t- he couldn’t just abandon them after all that had happened to them. And he sure as fuck didn’t trust any other “relatives” of theirs and sending them into the system would have been a gamble at best.

 

“But we’ve grown used to each other by now.” Zero finished, wondering not for the first time why he was telling all this to the pureblood in front of him. It was the wine; he decided — definitely the wine.

 

Kaname did not doubt that for a second. “It sounds like they need someone like you.”

 

Zero shrugged. “Maybe we needed each other.” He mused. “Anyways, I hope that sheds some light on why they’re not exactly keen on people. Ai and well - _I_ are about the only ones Ren tolerates.”

 

A bitter part of the hunter couldn’t resist adding, “Plus, it doesn’t help that they’ve heard a lot about you. Not exactly all good things.”

 

“No, I would expect not.” The pureblood glanced away with a pensive frown. “Do you hate me, Zero?”

 

Zero snorted. “Don’t bother asking questions you already know the answer to.”

 

“Humor me.”

 

Zero didn’t see any reason to lie. “Yes.”

 

It wasn’t an unexpected response, yet that did precious little to soften the blow. Kaname raised his glass of wine to his lips. “Do you love me?”

 

This time he does look at Zero. He watched the way the hunter’s jaw clenched and relaxed, waging a silent war with himself.

 

Zero frowns like he’s tasted something foul.“I- look, it’s complicated.” Came the not-answer.

 

“That wasn’t the question.”

 

Damn this asshole and his fucking pretentious ass. “Fine. _I don’t know._ Happy now?” The hunter snapped. Part of him thinks he never stopped but then he thinks of all that Kaname did to him and he just- _can’t._ “I just fucking know anymore.”

 

Zero didn’t return the question. He didn’t need to for him to know the answer.

 

But Kaname’s love isn’t a pretty thing. Kaname’s love is sharp, constricting, thorny, vines instead of flowers and thick, cloying sweetness that one doesn’t realize is poison until it’s too late. His love is suffocating and possessive to the point that it’s more obsession than real _love._ He wondered if Kaname can even tell the difference anymore.

 

Zero looked at the pureblood across from him, and his heart gave an excited little thump at the gleam of hope in his eyes. The wine made his cheeks flush under the weight of the pureblood’s stare. His stomach churned at the same moment that realization set in. So _that’s_ what he’s after.

 

“No.” Zero stood suddenly, palms slamming into the tabletop as sis chair scraped loudly against the floor.

 

“I haven’t even spoken yet.” Kaname smoothly returned.

 

Zero’s heart raced in his chest as his violet eyes narrowed. “I _know_ what you’re here to ask, and the answer is _no,_ Kaname.”

 

The pureblood stood with him and reached across the table. “Zero-“

 

Zero stepped back from his reach. “I’m not going through that again, _Kuran._ I refuse to be your fucking toy. Find someone else’s life to fuck up.” He spat with a sharp finger pointed at the brunette.

 

The hunter turned and marched into the kitchen out of a need to put some distance between them. It’s hard to think with Kaname too close.

 

He could feel a headache coming on. He leaned his head against the cold metal of the refrigerator with an audible _thump_ and swallowed the scream perched in his throat. _How fucking dare he_. The nerve of him to come waltzing back into Zero’s life and beg for a second chance after everything he did. _Still as arrogant and self-centered as ever._

 

Yet shame burned hot on Zero’s face. Damn him, but he’d wanted it. He could try and blame it upon the wine he’d drank, sure. But Zero had never been skilled at lying to himself. A part of him had wanted so badly to accept, take Kaname’s offer and feel the pureblood wrap him in his arms. He’d wanted it so damn much that it _hurt_ and even now he pushed down the desire to run to Kaname and taste the wine on his lips, feel his fangs buried in Zero’s neck.

 

_It’s not real, it’s just the stupid effects of this fucking mating bond._

 

“I truly am sorry.” A voice murmured from somewhere behind him.

 

The hunter choked out a bitter laugh and turned around to lean back and appraise the pureblood standing frozen in the doorway, looking lost and confused.

 

“You expect me to believe that?” Zero sneered.

 

“No.” Kaname’s shoes clicked on the hardwood floor as he crossed the distance between them. Zero waited with bated breath. “But I would spend every day, every minute and every hour making it up to you… if you’ll let me. I have changed Zero; give me the chance to prove to you as much.”

 

Zero couldn’t help the flinch as Kaname stopped in front of him. But he didn’t make any attempt to push him away.

 

The vampire’s fingers reached down, cold fingers wrapping around Zero’s own and uncurling them from the fist they’d formed. He watched in stunned silence Kaname brought his hand to his mouth and pressed his lips against the hunter’s warm skin.

 

“That’s what they all say.” Zero forced out as the touch sent pleasant jolts of heat down his spine. He didn’t pull his hand away though, despite the looseness of Kaname’s grip.

 

“But am I not different from most, as you are so fond of saying?” Kaname argued.

Zero raised a brow at having his own words thrown back at him, even as he brought his hand up to brush against Kaname’s cheek before he cupped the pureblood’s face. Kaname’s eyes fluttered closed in a happy sigh as he leaned into the touch. The hunter twitched at the feeling of smooth skin beneath his hand.

 

“I have missed you, Zero. Not a day went by when you were not in my dreams; your voice whispering in my ear.” Many, many nights he’d woken up from a dream, chasing the taste of his mate on his lips.

 

Zero removed his hand from the pureblood cool skin even as Kaname stepped closer. Mere inches separated them now, and the hunter’s heart sang at having his mate standing so close to him. _Fucking traitor_. But _god,_ he could feel the warmth of Kaname’s breath on his cheek, and it made his thoughts scatter in every direction. Zero’s tongue was heavy in the sudden, dry desert of his mouth.

 

Kaname trapped him against the refrigerator with an arm on either side of Zero. Not that Zero would leave, captured as he was by the intensity of the pureblood’s gaze. Kaname was at once entirely too close while also not being close enough for either of their tastes. When Kaname spoke again, his words came out in a rough whisper.

 

“I yearned for you, Zero. I ached to have you within my arms once more and hear my name upon your lips. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t think of anything but you. Your smile, the taste of sweat on your skin and the image of you beneath me, tangled in the sheets.”

 

And okay- that? That was not fair. It was so not fucking _fair_. The hunter’s breath stuck in his throat at Kaname’s words. How many times, how many times had he drank bag after bag after bag of blood before collapsing on the floor in a sobbing mess because it wasn’t _enough?_ How often had he lain awake at night, disturbed beyond words at the emptiness of his bed? How many times had he brought himself to climax with thoughts of the pureblood running through his head and closing his eyes to imagine that the hand on his cock was that of another?

 

Wetness pricked at the corners of Zero’s vision and something like a sob caught in his throat. He was so tired. Tired of running and wanting, and this cursed emptiness inside him that he cannot seem to fill. He was tired of the numbness and loneliness that weighed him down and the desire that haunted him every minute of every day. And he was so, _so_ angry. His head was a mess right now, and he was beginning to think the alcohol wasn’t helping matters.

 

“Give me a chance, Zero. That’s all I ask.” Was that pleading he heard? No, that’s impossible. Kaname does not _plead._

 

The hunter shut his eyes and tried to collect his thoughts. He shouldn’t. He really shouldn’t. Hell, he could write a 100-page thesis on why it’s a terrible, no-good _, horrible fucking idea_. His heart warred with the logic of his mind, but in the end, only one of them ultimately won.

 

Zero forces himself to look at Kaname. “No more secrets, if we do this. No more of this insane need to control everything. I’m my own person, Kaname. I need you to remember that.”

 

“Consider it done. You have my word.”

 

Zero sincerely doubted that Kaname’s word on much of anything could be taken truthfully. He held a hand up and covered the pureblood’s mouth when Kaname moved to kiss him. “ _And_ we take it slow this time, Kaname.”

 

There was a stab of pain in the man’s garnet eyes, but he stepped away. The hunter would be lying if he said there wasn’t a hint of satisfaction within him at that. He only hoped that he wouldn’t live to regret this decision.

 

Zero shivered at the sudden loss of the pureblood’s body heat, all too aware now of how cold the room was. Outside thunder boomed, and lightning lit up the dark sky. A car horn blared, loud and obnoxious.

 

It still felt like a crazy dream, this whole thing. Not even a day ago, Kaname hadn’t been anywhere to be found, and now here he was, standing in Zero’s kitchen looking like not even a day had passed and asking for a second chance at their relationship.

 

 _I must be fucking crazy._ Anyone else would have slammed the door in the vampire’s face, and that would’ve been that. But not Zero. Never Zero. Maybe Yuuki wasn’t the only one who was too soft in their family.

 

Droplets of water pelted the window like stones, rolling down the glass in thick rivulets. The rain beat against the ground outside in a quick, steady pace.

 

“Lovely weather, “He murmured under his breath.

 

A lot of things had changed in the world before vampires even existed as more than a creature from a story. Countries were driven apart, wars won and fought, and even the land had been irreparably changed as the result of human’s influence on the Earth’s climate. Even now remains of the distant past lingered in the ruins of skyscrapers that now lay lifelessly broken on the ground, plants clinging to their surface as nature fought to retake what was hers and the rubble that had once been thriving highways and quiet roads housing hollowed out shells of cars that would never move again. Time could heal, but it could never fully replace what was.

 

But the weather? That was the one thing that had stayed relatively the same. Rain still poured from the clouds; snow still fluttered down in soft white flakes. The sun continued to shine. It was different now, sure. Sometimes the rain was not water but instead murky-colored droplets that burned like acid upon one’s skin. Or a thick, white fog would roll in and cover all that it touched in ice and frost or lightning would dance and spark in the sky while temperatures climbed high enough to cook anyone who dared to venture outside. But life went on regardless.

 

Maybe it was time for him to do the same. To move on from the past and leave memories where they belonged.

 

For a moment, both men stood there, watching their reflections in the glass. A sense of nostalgia gripped Zero like a vise around his throat, and he spoke without thinking.

 

“You can stay the night if you wish. On the couch.” He nearly laughed at his own words: Kaname Kuran – the highest among the purebloods sleeping on a former vampire hunter’s couch. An amused smile spread across his face at the thought. But, truthfully, a part of him just wanted the pureblood near him. He needed to be able to wake up and assure himself that it hadn’t been a dream, that it had been _real._ That his mate wasn’t dead, he was _here. How is it possible to hate someone and miss them at the same time?_

 

Kaname’s lips turned up at the corners in a smile that Zero knew all too well. Even now, it still made his heart quicken in his chest. It wasn’t his fake smile, the one he plastered on for the council and nosy vampires who tried to kiss up to the pureblood. No – this was _Kaname’s_ smile. The one he reserved just for Zero and Zero only.

 

“I’d like that.”

 

All rationale left Zero at the sight.“Right. I can- I’ll uh, go get you a pillow and a blanket.” He said, stumbling more than he would ever admit. A knowing smirk curled Kaname’s lips.

 

Zero ventured out of the room, returning after a short while with one of his pillows and a spare gray blanket, depositing both items on the couch. Not that Kaname would likely care in the absence of either, but when Cross is your adoptive father, one tends to pick up his habits of being overly polite.

 

“I er- there you go. Uh, goodnight. I guess?” Could he technically _say_ goodnight when they slept during the day or was there like, some rule against that or something? Fuck he was overthinking it, wasn’t he? Zero shook his head, and Kaname only watched his nervousness with a faintly amused smile.

 

Having thoroughly embarrassed himself, Zero turned to make his way to his room but found himself pausing in the doorway with his back to the pureblood. “Will you at least tell me why? _Years,_ Kaname. I think I deserve to know why you left without even contacting anyone.”

 

“I am aware that you deserve to know, Zero.” _Here it comes._

 

“And I would be glad to tell you, but not right now.”

 

The hunter’s fingers curled against the wood where they gripped the doorway. “So, all that shit about not keeping secrets anymore was just bullshit, huh? I can’t believe you. Not even an hour, and you’re already back to pulling the same shit.”

 

There was a heavy sigh. “I cannot tell you right now, Zero. It would only further your resentment. But I will one day; I can promise you this much.”

 

If those words were meant to make him feel better, they didn’t. A thousand ideas surfaced to Zero’s mind. A mistress, perhaps? Or a child that the pureblood had kept secreted away? He stiffened. Wouldn’t it make sense, though? All the times when Kaname had returned home late or not at all. Bile rose in his throat. _No, Kaname wouldn’t betray me like that._ The man was many, _many_ things – a manipulator, a bastard but never someone who would go behind his mate’s back like that.

 

The uneasy churning in Zero’s gut begged to differ.

 

“Goodnight, Kaname.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that I can and will sell my soul for comments.
> 
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> 
> Come say hi on Tumblr over at steel-and-silver.tumblr.com too!


	4. Chapter 4: I'm tired and angry (but somebody should be)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero wakes up with an absolute bitch of a hangover, Ren's attitude about Kaname hasn't changed and the pureblood still doesn't know how to quit when he's ahead. Yori drags Zero out for coffee and some heavy conversation is had.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! First of all, thank you for all the lovely kudos, bookmarks and comments (either on here or Tumblr). I love you all and seeing how much you guys like this so far motivates me to keep updating and writing! I really do appreciate it!
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> Also, a big shout-out to my dear friend, Vermillion for giving me valuable feedback and being so supportive! Love you!
> 
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> 
> Warning: Brief discussion of depression in this chapter.

The night dawns lazily, with the moon slowly creeping up on the horizon to wash the colors from the sky in a sea of ink. Zero wakes to dusky purples and blues paving the way for stars that have yet to appear for another hour or so. Waking early is a habit from his days as a hunter that’s been hard to break. He can admit though that it’s nice sometimes, basking in the utter stillness that has settled over the city.

 

He lays there with the sheets tangled around his hips and a stubborn refusal to open his eyes and greet the world. It’s then that the events of the previous night come racing back to him. _Right,_ _Kaname._

 

Even the name fills him with equal parts trepidation and longing. What if he’d made a mistake in giving the pureblood a second chance? Given long enough the mating bond would dissolve itself. So then why didn’t he just leave it alone? Was that really what he wanted anymore?

 

The vampire sighs, pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes as his body ached and the room seemingly tilted around him. _Fuck, exactly how much did I drink last night?_ As far as he remembered it was somewhere between… 3 and 5 glasses of wine. And now he was paying for his horrible, horrible decision.

 

Along with his body’s protest, Zero can’t help but think he’s been a bit hasty in his choice to give Kaname a second chance. _God, what was I thinking?_ He won‘t be just another pawn to the pureblood. He tells himself he won’t let Kaname control and manipulate him like before. Yet those words sound like a lie even to his own ears. Had the pureblood truly changed at all? A likely fucking story.

 

Zero forces himself out of bed, throwing on an old shirt of his over his pair of sweatpants and makes his way into the kitchen where Ren sits at the counter, with a fluffy blanket wrapped around them. They nurse a cup of coffee while doing their best to ignore the older pureblood on the couch behind them. A sleepy scowl laces their features as they sip at the beverage, no doubt laden with ungodly amounts of cream and sugar.

 

The hunter plants a hand on the young teenager’s head as he walks past, ruffling platinum strands. He receives an annoying furrow of Ren’s brows in return and a half-hearted grunt in protest. He doesn’t miss the slight upturn of Ren’s lips though.

 

“Morning.” Zero greets, voice rough with sleep. Ren grumbles something in response before returning to silently sipping their beverage, fingers curled around the mug. The man doesn’t bother waiting for a reply he won’t get. Ren is a lot of things — but an evening person is not among them and making conversation with them before they’ve even finished their coffee is a terrible idea.

 

The hunter makes his way over to the coffee machine after grabbing a mug from the cupboard. He hears Kaname rise from his seat on the couch and stride into the kitchen behind him. Ren gives a lazy blink and downs the rest of their coffee before scurrying out of the room as Kaname turns to greet them.

 

Well, at least they haven’t killed each other already. He’ll take his victories where he can find them.

 

“You won’t find any gourmet food here, you know. Afraid cereal will have to do, _your highness._ ” Zero announces. He’s teasing - mostly. There are dark circles beneath the pureblood’s eyes suggesting a less than pleasant sleep.

 

He tries not to jump too much when he feels the pureblood’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him against Kaname’s chest. The brunette leans forward to press a kiss to Zero’s cheek. “Mmm, I’d rather have you instead.”

 

A loud bark of laughter escapes Zero as he covers his reddening cheeks with his hands. “Oh my god, that is _the_ fucking cheesiest thing I’ve ever heard. I think I just developed lactose intolerance.”

 

“It’s good to hear you laugh,” Kaname hums, delightedly. It was one of the sounds he’d missed for years, hearing it again makes his heart flutter in his chest. He peppers Zero’s cheek and jawline with kisses, only for the ex-hunter to push him away as he nears Zero’s lips.

 

“Oh _no._ Not with your breath smelling like _that._ ” The man chides, wrestling out of his grip with a smirk.

 

Kaname’s shoulders sag in disappointment. Judging by the heavy smell of alcohol still clinging to Zero and his barely hidden winces of pain, it’s not wise to push it though. He saunters over to take a seat on an empty stool at the counter. “I noticed Ren doesn’t wear the Cross Academy uniform.”

 

Zero tenses as he reaches for a bottle of Aspirin and downs a few tablets. “Perhaps because they don’t attend Cross Academy.” The hunter tersely fires back with a bit more venom than he meant. But Kaname didn’t know what a sore spot he was prodding. “I’m not sending my kid into that hellhole.”

 

The pureblood glances at him with an uncertain frown. Of course, Kaname can never leave well-enough alone. “It was hardly that bad.”

 

A hot wave of anger surges over Zero before he can force it down. He doesn’t _mean_ to be this defensive, but his pounding headache left over from last night has his patience running unusually thin. “No? The vampires were always either taunting the hunters on campus or outright attacking them. They fight and bicker about social hierarchy like _animals_ rather than people. And that’s only when they’re not busy demeaning the lower-ranking vampires by verbally harassing them or goading them into a fight. I can imagine how well they would take to a pureblood raised by a hunter.”

 

“For fuck’s sake, they see the humans on campus as walking blood bags and Cross turns a blind fucking eye to it all! In the past year _alone_ do you even know how many day class students were hospitalized for blood loss?”

 

“I- no.”

 

“At least _twenty_ of them.” Zero answers. Admittedly, that number doesn’t seem like a lot compared to the hundreds of students, but that number shouldn’t exist, to begin with. _Twenty fucking students_. And that was just the beginning.

 

“This ridiculous idea you and Cross share, that somehow humans and vampires can get along is a pipe dream, Kaname. One that’s going to get innocent people killed sooner or later!

 

The pureblood’s stomach churns with nausea at Zero’s words, beneath the bitter sting of disappointment and guilt. When he’d left things had been improving between hunters and vampires. What had happened in the time he’d been gone? _Cross, what have you done?_

 

Zero is fuming. He shakes his head as he rubs at his aching temples. “Vampires will always view humans as food! That’s just how it goes, it’s in their nature. How many more innocent humans have to get hurt before you fucking open your eyes and see what’s right in front of you? Cross Academy was doomed to fail from the start.” 

He and Kaname had never seen eye-to-eye on Cross Academy, so it’s not surprising to learn that hasn’t changed. It pisses him off all the same. Fuck, it’s too damn early for him to be this angry. But, again, Cross Academy was a bit of a sore spot for the former hunter and not only due to his own experiences. He’s had the misfortune of seeing a few of those students before they were taken away in an ambulance. It wasn’t a pretty sight.

 

“The vampires shouldn’t be attacking students,” Kaname utters quietly with a confused little furrow of his brows. “Not with the blood tablets.”

 

Zero fights to keep himself from lashing out even more. He wants to scream, throw something in his frustration with the pureblood. “Are you serious right now? You’re offering them a fresh fucking meal or a measly little tablet! What do _you_ think they’re going to choose?”

 

It’s impossible to know what Kaname was thinking, his carefully blank expression fixed in place as always. There was a time when Kaname wouldn’t have cared what happened to humans, what tragedies befell them were hardly of his concern. But as he bore the brunt of Zero’s anger, his stomach rolled.

 

Loathe as he is to admit it, Zero was making some fair points. Humans were prey to vampires, no matter how one tried to look at it otherwise. Perhaps it was time to accept that. Perhaps this dream he and Cross share is destined to remain only that — a dream.

 

“I didn’t know.” Kaname voices, weakly.

 

“Yeah? Well, maybe you would have if you didn’t fucking vanish for _seven fucking years!_ ” Zero snaps.

 

Kaname winces at that. It’s a low blow, but not entirely unwarranted. “This was never our intention when I helped Cross found the Academy.“

 

He can still remember the very first day Cross Academy had opened and the hope that had warmed his chest. Now it’s overshadowed by the ugly growing shame beneath his skin. This wasn’t how things were meant to play out. This hadn’t been his intention.

 

“Oh yes, because that excuses it.” Zero drawls with thick sarcasm. “I don’t give a flying fuck if you meant well. People are getting hurt. So, your good intentions can kiss my ass for all I care.”

 

“You’re right. This can’t go on,” The pureblood surrenders with a sigh of defeat. “I am sorry.” _For what it’s worth._

 

Zero grabs a mug from a cupboard and slams it down onto the countertop. As always, Kaname just doesn’t _understand._ “Sorry doesn’t do shit. Don’t be sorry, _do_ something.”

 

“What do you want from me?” The pureblood begs, weary of this argument. Seven years he was gone. Not even twenty-four hours he and Zero have been together and they‘re already fighting again.

 

Fear creeps up the vampire’s spine, wrapping spindly arms around his neck and choking the life from him. Wondering, _if this will be what finally drives Zero from him for good._ He can’t lose Zero — he scarcely knew how to breathe without the other man.

 

Zero closes his eyes and forces himself to take several deep breaths. In and out, in and out, in and out. At least his headache is beginning to subside. It‘s substantially easier to think without that throbbing pain in his cranium. He doesn’t want to fight with Kaname. Not if he can help it and not when he’s just gotten him back. Yelling and screaming won’t solve anything.

And there‘s the guilt, settling heavy in Zero’s gut like a familiar weight. _It’s not his fault and it isn’t fair to take my anger out on him._ The hunter doesn’t speak for several minutes and the silence between them falls heavy. Zero doesn’t trust himself to speak until he can keep his voice relatively calm.

“This can’t continue happening. You need to talk some sense into Cross.” _God knows I’ve tried._ As had Yuuki and even Yagari. “Before someone gets killed.”

Ren came strolling into the kitchen then, with a bag full of books and other materials on their back, interrupting the conversation. “Can we go? I don’t want to be late.”

 

“Yeah,” The ex-hunter answers with a brief flash of a smile, just enough to pretend that everything is okay. He looks over at Kaname for barely more than a second. “I- look, I have to run Ren to school really quick. We’ll, uh, talk later?”

 

The pureblood gives a small answering hum in response that the ex-hunter takes as a “yes”. Zero plucks up a set of keys from the countertop and follows the younger pureblood out the door before he can give himself a chance to make things worse.

 

 

The apartment is silent when Zero returns, no trace of the pureblood. He breathes a sigh of relief, ashamed at doing so. But he needs time to gather his thoughts. He firmly squashes the pressing anxiety that threatens to invade his thoughts, whispering that the pureblood would never be back _and that Kaname would disappear again._

Is it fair of him to blame Kaname for Cross Academy? No, of course not. But he’s been holding in so much anger that it came out without Zero even meaning for it to. And well, blaming Kaname was the easiest solution at the time. The hangover certainly hadn’t helped matters. Guilt curdles in his throat and he toys with the idea of reaching for his phone to talk to his mate. No, he ultimately decides, it’s best to leave it alone for now. They’ll talk after they’ve both had time to cool their heads.

 

In the meantime, Zero busies himself with rather boring chores around his home until he grows close to pulling his hair out from the blandness of it all. He pulls his phone out to make sure he hasn’t missed any important emails or calls. 

Four missed calls from Cross. Zero grimaces at the screen and swipes to erase each one from call history. He’s not in the mood to deal with his adoptive father and whatever excuses he’s concocted this time. Of course, that only means that Yuuki will be calling soon, begging him to talk to Cross and work things out _again._ The ex-hunter isn’t exactly on speaking terms with the man right now, after their latest heated argument about Cross Academy and what — if anything — should be done and he‘s in no mood to assuage the old man‘s ego. _Let that be Yuuki’s job._

 

After that, Zero stretches for a few minutes before going out for a jog that at least helps clear his head a bit, before returning to a blissfully cold shower. Monotonous, certainly. But after years of living with constant surprises and horrifying revelations one after another, he welcomes the monotony.

 

The former hunter is rubbing a towel over his damp hair when his phone rings. Zero’s eyes roll in their sockets. A string of curses escapes him. “For fuck’s sake, Cross-“

 

He stops upon recognizing that the number on the screen wasn’t that of his adoptive father but his sister-in-law, Yori. Raising a brow, Zero grabs for the device.

 

“Hey, Yori. What‘s up?” He greets.

 

“Zero,” The woman returns, her voice as warm and friendly as ever. “To be honest, I wasn’t sure you’d pick up for a second there. It’s been a while since we’ve talked.”

 

Zero grimaces, knowing that hadn’t been intentional. “I know, I know. I’m sorry about that, Yori. Things have just been busy.” Was that his imagination or did he hear something breaking on the other end of the line? It sounded like something fragile crashing into the wall. Zero raises a brow in concern. “Is everything okay over there?” He can hear the faint sound of Yuuki yelling somewhere in the background. Which is never a good sign.

Yori gives a polite chuckle. “Hm? Oh yes, we’re fine. But I was wondering if you’d be interested in joining me for coffee?”

“Sure?” Zero answers, still a bit concerned about the target of his sister’s anger.

“Oh, good!“ Yori chirps. “It feels like such a long time since we sat down and talked. There’s a new restaurant that I’ve been waiting to visit.”

 

“Wait, wait. Now? At this time of night?” Well, technically it _’s_ early morning now. Very early morning. But still odd hours for _mo_ st people, including Yori. What exactly was going on over there?

 

She hums. “Yes. Don’t worry, I can assure you the place is open.”

 

It’s not a bad idea. Now that he thinks about it, it’s been a long time since he went out with any of his friends. Plus, it _is_ Yori. She is one of the few people that Zero can stand to be around for longer than five minutes without wanting to hurt himself or someone else. And right now he needs a distraction.

 

“Sure, that sounds nice.” He mutters as there’s a muffled curse on the other line. Yeah, that’s definitely Yuuki’s voice. Zero utters a brief farewell to the woman on the phone, promising to meet up with her at the café she wants to visit. As Zero hangs up, he can’t help but feel sorry for whoever or _whatever_ managed to piss off his sister so bad.

 

The café is a small, charming place; with a red exterior and artsy-looking cream-colored tables and metal chairs that curl and curve delicately. A cloth awning covers a patio with outside seating. Zero and Yori take one of the outside tables, in favor of enjoying the looming sunrise.

 

Zero smiles lightly when sees his sister-in-law. She looks just the same as always, her honey-colored strands now grown out and worn in a loosely woven braid that lays over one shoulder. Her blue plaid dress falls just below her knees, and she looks every bit the stern and firm teacher that she is. The ex-hunter’s heart clenches painfully as he takes a closer look, beginning to see the slight lines developing at the edge of her eyes. _She’s aging,_ he realizes. It’s a jarring reminder of her mortality. If Zero can see it, he can only imagine how painful it is for Yuuki, to see their years left together ticking down before her eyes.

 

“Zero!” She greets, moving to pull him into a firm hug.

 

“It’s good to see you too, Yori.”

 

Yori gives him a warm smile, oblivious to the man’s macabre thoughts as she moves away to sit across from him. She opens the menu, barely giving it a glance before a waitress comes flouncing over to their table. The former hunter tunes out Yori rambling off her order to the waiter before the girl turns to him, notepad in hand and pen at the ready.

 

“I’ll take a Bloody Mary.” He says with the best smile he can muster.

 

“Sure! I’ll be right back with your orders in just a few!” The waitress chirps before turning on her heel and scurrying off into the cafe. Yori’s eyebrows raise at his choice of drink. _Bit early to be drinking, isn’t it?_ She seems to say without words.

 

Zero sighs and leans back in his seat. “Trust me, you’d be doing the same thing if you’d had the night I did.”

 

She chuckles and gives him a wry grin. “Fair enough. But I’m not letting you drive home.”

 

He shrugs. “I walked here anyway.”

 

“Good.”

 

The pair busies themselves with idle small talk for a while. “How’s school been going for Ai?” “How’s work?” etc, etc. They trade gossip and stories that they’ve both heard several times over, but the memories are worth revisiting. Before long the waitress returns to deposit both of their orders on the table. Zero’s Bloody Mary and Yori’s lightly colored coffee with whipped cream on top.

 

A pair of teenagers, two girls both dark-haired walk by on the sidewalk separated from the café by a small, iron fence. They wear matching dark-colored uniforms and swing their bags in their hands.

 

“What? I thought that test wasn’t until _tomorrow_!” One exclaims while the other laughs and informs her that the test is in fact, today. The rest of the conversation fades away as they walk on down the sidewalk.

 

“Takes you back, doesn’t it?” Yori murmurs with a gentle smile and something wistful in her gaze.

 

“Yeah, it does.”

 

Her smile falters slightly. “Seems like only yesterday that was us. Things were so much simpler back then.”

 

Zero snorts. “You mean the bloodsucking vampires constantly attempting to take a bite out of students? Or the many attempts on Yuuki’s life back when we thought she was human?”

 

Yori hums while she sips her drink. She tilts her head. “Good point. Perhaps not simpler, but different at least.”

 

He can’t help it. The way his mind drifts, bringing him back to the familiar campus. Kaname had taken him on their first date junior year; some stupid movie that Zero had wanted to see but missed most of because both vampires were too busy with each other in the back of the dim theater. Back then they didn’t even know how to kiss properly but the memory hits him like a punch to the gut.

 

“That’s one way of putting it.” He mutters from his too-tight throat.

 

“Those were the days,” Yori hums. “Just you, me, Yuuki and Ka-“

 

Yori’s sucks in a sharp breath and stops herself before the name can leave her mouth. Zero freezes in his seat. The woman glances down, away from Zero with a muttered “sorry” beneath her breath before clearing her throat, loudly and deliberately.

 

An odd, stiff silence fills the next few moments. They sip their drinks and Zero eavesdrops on the conversations of other patrons (which there isn’t any shortage of). A car honks at traffic and a dog walking by with its owner pants and gives a toothy smile to the vampire.

 

“So,” Yori begins, fingers absently twiddling with her braid. A nervous habit that she’s had since high school. “Kaname has returned.”

 

He can feel her brown eyes on him, watching his face for any response, gauging his reaction. “You don’t seem surprised by that.” She ventures after a while, a question in her voice.

 

“I knew. He er, paid me a visit last night.”

 

The poor woman nearly chokes on her drink. She coughs harshly for a few moments before recovering enough to speak. “What did he want?”

 

Zero toys with his straw. “What do you _think?_ He wanted a second chance at things between us.”

 

Yori’s breath leaves her in a hiss and there’s a tiny frown between her brows. “The nerve! I cannot believe that he thought you would- Zero?”

 

She places her hands on the table, leaning forward and looking far too similar to her wife. A stern frown graces her features. “You _didn’t. Please,_ tell me you didn’t.”

 

The hunter clears his throat and looks away, avoiding Yori‘s gaze. He is many things, but a skilled liar has never been a talent of his. Least of all in front of Yori, who has a way of wringing the truth from people.

 

Yori leans back in her chair with a disappointed frown, having discerned his lack of response as an answer in and of itself. And no doubt waiting for him to explain himself.

 

“I just-“ Zero lets out a huff of defeat. “Look, I miss him, Yori. I don‘t know what happened. I saw Kaname and it was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again.” Like he was seeing his mate, not that horrid monster he’d turned into before Zero left him. And god damn him, but he wants that _back_. He wants it so fucking badly he aches.

 

“If there’s even a chance that he’s changed, that he’s different now I’m willing to take that. Is that so selfish of me?” Even if it is, all his life Zero has done nothing but help other people, protecting them from vampires and other things that go bump in the night, never giving a shit about his own wants and needs. Can‘t he be selfish just this once?

 

“No, that’s not selfish,” Yori assures the man across from her with a reluctant sigh. “But if I’m being honest here, Zero. I’m not holding my breath. Kaname was horrible to you, Zero. He was selfish and controlling. That’s not love, that’s _abuse._ ”

 

“Maybe you’re right.” Zero liked to think that he was smarter now, different. That he won’t fall for the same tricks twice. But doesn’t everyone say that? “So, I take it you think I’m making a mistake.”

 

“I didn’t say that.” Yori quickly amends. “But I’ve never been as close to the man as you or Yuuki.” To be honest, she’s always been rather unnerved by that man. There‘s something distinctly unsettling about the level of charm and charisma that Kaname possesses.

 

Zero smirks. “That’s a nice way of saying he was a dick.”

 

Yori smiles in that patient way of hers that neither confirms nor denies Zero’s words. They both know it’s true.

 

“I just- I worry about you, Zero.” The man is practically her brother now. And Zero has a strong penchant for attracting trouble. Somehow, he always wound up being hurt. Yori doesn’t wish to see that happen again. If anyone deserves happiness, it‘s you, Zero.

 

“I know, Yori. And I’m glad.” Zero assures her with a wry smirk. “But I _can_ take care of myself.”

 

She twirls the straw in her empty drink around with a frown. It would be a waste of breath to try to convince Zero otherwise once he’d made his decision on something. He and Yuuki were quite alike in that regard. But that didn’t mean she trusted Kaname either. She trusted that man about as far as she could throw him. 

 

“Look, in the end, it’s your decision Zero. No one can make decide for you. Just promise me something. Promise me that if he shows even a _hint_ of going back his old ways you’ll leave?”

 

“Oh, trust me. I will.”

 

“ _Zero.”_

 

All joking fades from his expression at the serious tone of the woman’s voice. “Alright, fine. I promise you. There, happy?”

 

Not really. But it’ll have to do. “Yes, very.” She lies. “Now let’s talk about something else. Even the mention of that man leaves a bad taste in my mouth.” Yori said with a grimace. She sipped the last bit of her coffee before setting the mug back down on the table. “How have _you_ been Zero?”

 

“Fine, I guess.”

 

Yori raises a brow, letting him know he isn’t fooling anyone. “You know I can see the shadows under your eyes. Trouble sleeping?”

 

There’s no hiding anything from Sayori Wakaba-Kuran. Zero really shouldn‘t have tried. “Among other things.” He admits.

 

“I’m here to listen if you want to talk.” She offers gently, as though trying not to spook a shying animal.

 

Sometimes Yori was too kind. It makes Zero wonder how she wound up marrying Yuuki of all people, but he didn’t dare say that. Zero loathes talking about his problems, that much is an undeniable fact. It means showing weakness and vulnerability. Both of which can and did get hunters killed.

He’s always just kept everything bottled up inside of him, leaving it to fester and rot. Every bad thought, every nightmare, all of it clings to him like a second skin, threatening to drag him down and drown him in his own despair and dark thoughts.

 

“I don’t really _know_ what it is.” He confesses, forcing the words from his throat before he could stop himself. “Everything is so gray. There’s no color anymore. And I know that makes no fucking sense but I- I barely feel anything anymore and when I do it’s like it’s- it’s-“

 

“Muted?” She offers.

 

“Exactly.” Everything is so distant and dull as though he’s looking at and _feeling_ everything behind a thick pane of glass. _God, I can’t even really remember the last time I was happy. How fucked up is that?_ There’s just this hollow, emptiness.

 

“God, that’s a pretty shitty description. I just-“ His words stick and freeze in his throat, refusing to budge. Already there’s that prickling fear that he’s shared too much. It’s not even the fact that it’s Yori, so much as sharing that much information with _anyone_ makes Zero squirm in discomfort.

 

He doesn’t even realize how cold his hands have gotten or how they’re shaking until Yori reaches across the table to steady them in her warm grip. He can’t bring himself to meet her eyes and see the inevitable pity in them.

 

“Have you told anyone about this?” She questions without an ounce of the judgment he’d been expecting.

 

Zero’s smirk was bitter. “No.”

 

Who was there to talk to? Yagari wasn’t the type of person he could confide in and Cross? Well, their relationship isn’t the best at the moment. There’s no way in hell he could bother Yuuki with his bullshit, not when she has enough to deal with, trying to run The Council.

 

“Maybe you should.” Yori offers. And then she’s sliding a piece of paper across the table, pressing it into his hand. No, not paper, a business card. Zero picks up the small piece of cardstock which has a dark blue stripe along the bottom and a gold one running diagonally in the corner. _Dr. Rosella Avery_ it reads, followed by a few abbreviations which probably meant something in her field but are an alien language to Zero.

 

“She’s a psychologist.” Yori continues. “Now, I’m not saying you _have_ to visit her, or anyone at all for that matter. But at least consider it?”

 

Zero stares at the card in his hand, unconvinced.

 

“I can personally vouch for her as well.” Yori continues. Zero blinks, eyes flickering from the card to the woman before him.

 

“ _You…?”_

Yori gives him a secretive smile in response. Zero pockets the card with a pensive frown, unwilling to promise anything but eventually settling on, “I’ll think about it.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Kaname lets his sister know that he's back from his seven-year vacation. Yuuki has some very choice words to say about that. Hell hath no fury like a raging pureblood.


	5. Chapter 5: Bad liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter focuses on our two favorite pureblood 'siblings'. Yuuki has a heated discussion with her brother, over the past, the present, the future and everything in between.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since I forgot with the last update; Happy Pride Month y'all! I love my fellow LGBT+ people out there!

“You selfish bastard!”

Kaname smoothly moves out of the way of the ceramic vase that comes flying at him, shattering against the wall instead. He turned to face the wrath of his sister’s fury.

“Coward.” Yuuki snarls. Her body shakes with barely contained rage at her brother’s presence. She jabbed an accusing finger in his direction. “ _Seven_ years, you disappeared without so much as even a note. You didn’t write or call. I was starting to think you were _dead_ , Kaname!”

“I’m sorry for making you worry.” He murmured with genuine regret. Kaname kept his gaze to the floor, unable to look at the woman. _I never meant to hurt you._

Yuuki just shakes her head in disbelief. “No, you aren’t. If you were, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

“It isn’t that simple,” Kaname argues. If only she’d known the reason, then perhaps she wouldn’t be so angry with him right now. But he can’t tell her right now.

“It never is with you, is it?” A bitter laugh escapes her as she combs her hands through strands of long, brown hair in agitation. “What is it with you and secrets, Kaname? You never tell me anything, you never told Zero. You always, _always_ insist on keeping everything to yourself!”

“I didn’t want to hurt you. Either of you.” Dragging them into his problems is the last thing he ever wanted. Neither of them deserves that.

“Has it ever occurred to you that it hurts _worse_ when you keep things from us?” The woman counters. Fury is rolling off of her in waves now. It’s a good thing that she’d left Artemis upstairs otherwise she would be damn tempted to use it right about now. Perhaps it would make this dense man finally see some sense.

The older pureblood looks away with a frown. Of course, Kaname knows that, but he’d rather Zero and Yuuki hate him than get hurt because of him. Even if they never forgive him. That is a price he would gladly pay. He can’t bear the idea of seeing either of them hurt because of him and his actions.

Yuuki seethes quietly. “I still haven’t forgiven you for the way you treated Zero. You’re supposed to love and treasure your mate. Not- not treat them the way you did. How- how could you _do_ such a thing?” 

God, back in those days it would often be days or even _weeks_ in between the time she saw Zero. Kaname had a bad habit of wanting to keep his mate locked away in that old manor, either out of sheer possessiveness or wanting to protect him from all the dangers of the outside world. 

She shakes her head. “And then you run away, rather than face what you did. _Coward._ ” The woman stomps over, raising her hand and slapping the man sharply across the cheek. Red bloomed in the wake of her palm and the sound echoes throughout the room. “That is the _least_ of what you deserve.”

He deserves so, _so_ much worse than that. “I know.” Kaname murmurs solemnly.

Yuuki can’t hide the sob that emerges from her throat borne out of how upset and frustrated she is. She backs away from the man in front of her, torn between her grief at losing him and her anger at finding out the way he’d been treating Zero all those years ago. Relief at finding her brother alive wars with disgust. This is the same man who’d ruined Zero, who’d been responsible for destroying his family. _A monster._

She claps a hand over her mouth, fresh tears spilling over her cheeks, unable to keep from remembering that scared little boy on Cross’ doorstep, cheeks red from either the cold or crying or both. The teenager whose hate for himself was so ingrained it had become a part of him. The image of Zero’s dead, dull eyes and Ichiru’s blood coating his lips. _And Kaname caused every one of them._

“Do you even realize everything you’ve _done?_ It’s all your fault. All of it!” She shouts, unable to hold back her anger anymore. Part of her isn’t even sure what she is talking about anymore, only wanting to see her brother hurt as much as she and Zero do. “You’re poison, Kaname. You eat and eat away at everything you touch until there’s nothing left. Nothing left for you to destroy.”

But it hadn’t all been Kaname’s fault. Even she had to acknowledge that. Zero was (is) horrible at drawing boundaries for himself. Always so tied up with his own demons, thinking he deserved whatever punishment was coming towards him. Kaname hadn’t helped with that, but admittedly, those two brought out the best in each other—as well as the worst. Sometimes Yuuki thought Zero was (is) determined to simply be unhappy, that he was in love with the idea of his own misery. 

His sister’s words are like a knife in his chest, and at last Kaname’s calm expression finally cracks. Kaname’s eyes soften with sorrow as he finally looks at the woman in front of him, seeing the angry sneer writ across her face. “You’re right. I am.” He knows it. He’s always known it. _Zero should never have gotten involved with the likes of me._

“Why did you do it?” Yuuki asks, voice cracking near the end of the sentence. A desperate plea for some answers.

Kaname sighs and tried to breathe. Easier said than done with the invisible hands wrapping themselves around his throat. He can’t pretend that he’s unaware of what she is talking about. “I was planning to use Zero. He was only supposed to be a pawn, a tool to ensure your safety. Though I confess that I didn’t know what Shizuka was planning when I set her free.”

A horrible, broken sound escapes Yuuki. It takes a moment for her to realize its laughter. At herself, for having idolized the monster in front of her for so long. At Kaname, for having come to love the one person in the entire world who would never forgive him for what he’d done. At both of them and all the horrid things they’ve done, that can never be fixed. 

She doesn’t hear the door opening nor the quiet thud of something falling to the ground until a voice speaks.

“Mother?”

At Ai’s voice, Yuuki stiffens, looks over to her astonished daughter and her abandoned bag on the floor next to her. Ai’s gaze flickers curiously between the two purebloods, fighting the urge to bare her fangs at this intruder in their home. Anyone could see the obvious resemblance between her Mother and this man. From the dark hair to the same garnet eyes—it’s plain as day.

“You’re Uncle Zero’s mate.” She says with obvious distaste. Her eyes narrow and her body stiffens in evident displeasure at Kaname’s presence. 

Another thorn pierces Kaname’s chest. It’s been years since he has seen his niece and it hurts more than he’d ever imagined realizing she most likely doesn’t even remember him.

“I am.” _I was._ Kaname doesn’t voice that thought. As long as he doesn’t voice it, it isn’t real.

For the first time in a while, Kaname takes in his niece. She wears a similar uniform to the one Ren had worn, the only difference being that she wears a dark, pleated skirt instead of trousers and a black blazer partially covers her top. Her hair is darker than Yuuki’s—black with only a hint of brown and pulled into a messy ponytail behind her head. But her eyes are an exact image of her Mother’s own russet ones.

The girl makes her way over and raises her hand before drawing it sharply across his cheek as well. _Like Mother like daughter._ She lifts it once more, only to be stopped by a hand on her wrist.

“Enough, Ai. I would prefer that you let me handle this.” Yuuki says, her sobbing ceased as she pulled herself together. Her voice is carefully calm and collected, without a trace of her earlier anger. Don’t get her wrong—it’s still there, she’s just gotten skilled enough to hide it from her daughter. She knows that her daughter can see the redness in her eyes and the lingering traces of tears upon her cheeks. 

“But Mother!” Ai protests.

“I know, sweetheart. I know how you feel, and I understand.” Yuuki reaches up to brush a stray strand of hair away from the girl’s face, oblivious to the slight tremor in her voice. “But I need you to let me handle this.”

Ai’s mouth thins as she presses her lips together, pulling harshly away from her Mother’s touch. “Fine.”

She retrieves her bag from where it sits by the door and fixes Kaname with one last fiery glare before retreating up a set of wooden stairs with heavy footsteps. Faintly, somewhere above a door closes none-too-gently.

Yuuki exhales slowly, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples. She’s grown up so much since he last saw her, Kaname realizes with a pang. There is an air of maturity and responsibility about her that hadn’t been there when he’d left. It’s evident in the straight, stiff-backed way she stands and the crisp pressed lines of her clothing. She’s become so much more than the little girl he’d sworn to protect. 

“Sit.” She says, jabbing a finger at an armchair in a tone that dares Kaname to argue with her. Yuuki herself takes a seat on the white sofa behind her and leans back against it, crossing her legs. Even sitting so casually, she retains her aura of power and control. 

It’s a bit like looking in a mirror Kaname thinks, with a swell of admiration in his chest.

“At least tell me why you did it,” Yuuki demands though Kaname can hear the pleading in her voice. “Zero- he was your mate. Why would you treat him like that? Help me understand.” It takes more effort than she thought to keep her voice level. 

Her brother’s mouth twists, as though he’s tasted something unpleasant. “I love Zero. More than anything. I couldn’t stand the thought of him leaving me, falling in love with another. Even now, the idea of living without Zero by my side is not something I wish to consider.”

There’s no easy way to say it. How can he tell her that he let himself be ruled by his instincts like some base animal? The love of a pureblood is a dark and obsessive need, and Kaname allowed his love for Zero to consume him. Somewhere a voice in the back of his mind had whispered to him that Zero would leave him, that one day we would realize the horrid mistake he’d made in tying himself to a monster such as Kaname. His world began to waver at the thought of a life without Zero, never seeing the hunter again. He couldn’t bear it then just as he cannot now.

Yuuki frowns and folds her arms. “You of all people should know better than to let your instincts rule you.” He’d been the one to teach _her_ that after all. Kaname had been the one to remind her over and over again that vampires weren’t animals, that they were capable of rising above their instincts and overcoming their bloodthirsty nature.

She understands how hard it is to overcome that inherent _need_ to possess, the urge to mark and own her mate. All purebloods know it. Yet the real challenge comes in being able to force those ugly feelings down and not give in to them.

A bitter smile graces the ancient vampire’s lips. “Yes, I should. But love has a way of making all of us weak.”

“I suppose.” She agrees with caution in her voice.

Kaname’s smile vanishes. “And then Zero found out about the truth behind his parents’ deaths, and I was a coward. I began to stay away from him out of fear. The thought of my own mate looking at me with loathing and hate in his eyes—I was not brave enough to face it. All the more so knowing I was rightfully to blame.”

Yuuki eyes him with something approaching sympathy now. “But that’s not all of it, is it?”

“No. Even more so, I feared his forgiveness. I feared that Zero would look at me with betrayal and heartbreak but would grant forgiveness to someone so undeserving of it.” Zero deserves so much more than him.

“And you thought running away would simply solve all of your problems?” Yuuki demands.

“Well, it certainly seemed like a good solution at the time.” Kaname lies. Much easier than telling the truth.

The woman lets out a heavy sigh. “You are making it very hard not to hit you right now.” She warns. “Honestly. _Seven years_.”

“I needed some time away to gather my thoughts,” Kaname confesses, a smidge of guilt gnawing at him. It’s not the whole truth, but nor is it a lie at least. “That much had been clear for some time, but my mate ultimately leaving was confirmation that something needed to change. Without even realizing it, I was beginning to become the very thing I despised.”

Yuuki leans back against the plush couch. It isn’t that she doesn’t understand. Not that she was sure she ever could fully grasp what went on in the mind of an ancient pureblood, but in a way, she understands needing a bit of time alone to sort out one’s thoughts. This man is making it very difficult for her to stay mad at him. “And Zero. Does he even know you’re back?”

Kaname gives a curt nod. “I visited him first.”

Were Zero not still his mate Yuuki considers that she might be offended at her brother not even deigning to visit her first. As it is she can’t really fault him for that. “And?” She prompts, urging him to continue.

“We talked. About quite a bit. He- he’s given me a second chance.”

Well, that is… not what she’d been expecting. A swift kick to the rear and a door slammed in her brother’s face but never in a million years would she have envisioned Zero giving Kaname another chance. Zero doesn’t _give_ second chances. Ever. 

“I see.” She muses with a neutral expression. To be honest, she isn’t quite sure how to feel about that either. Things hadn’t exactly ended well for them the first time around. “That’s shocking for Zero.”

“I thought the same.”

And Yuuki can see the melancholy swimming in his garnet eyes that says even Kaname doesn’t believe he deserves it. _Maybe, just maybe, you two can get it right this time around._ “You love Zero, Kaname. I know that you know that.” She murmurs, “Hell, I think everyone knows that. But if you want to do things right this time around you cannot let what happened in the past hold you back.”

Kaname listens with rapt attention to his sister’s words. Indeed, he will never forgive himself for the way he had treated Zero, and he would give anything to undo it all. But perhaps Yuuki is right. Even he cannot undo the events of the past. Together maybe he and Zero can both find some way to move forward. 

He longs for Zero like nothing else, to hold him within his arms, to possess him and own the hunter, his mind, body, and soul. Kaname used to want to be the only one in the silver-haired man’s thoughts just as Zero is in his. He still does, but somewhere along the way, he’d forgotten that Zero was his own person. It’s not a mistake that he is keen to repeat.

Yuuki leans forward towards the man across from her. “You can’t change the past, but you can still fix things, _brother.”_

Kaname shakes his head with a bitter curl of his lips. “I am not your brother.”

“Not by blood.” She allows. “But you’re my brother just as much as Zero is, Kaname. That much won’t ever change.” Never had she stopped thinking of him as such, even at her angriest moments.

Kaname’s eyes widen, stunned at the woman’s words. It is more, far more than the likes of him deserves. Yuuki and Zero both deserve more than to be tainted by his presence. As Yuuki said, he ruins everything he touches. Warmth blooms in his chest from her words.

Yuuki stands from her seat, carefully smoothing out the fabric of her suit. “I’m going to make some tea. Would you like some?”

Kaname has never made a point of drinking tea. He finds the stuff boring and bland on his taste buds. “Of course, thank you.”

There is a flash of a smile on the woman’s face before she turns and disappears around the corner.

With his sister gone, Kaname takes the time to examine her house. It isn’t as big as the manor they lived in as children—not by a longshot. But it is a sizeable house, with pretty blue walls on the outside and rows upon rows of roses in neat flowerbeds. Being on the edge of town, it is far enough away from everything that no one would bother them but not enough to truly feel isolated.

Beside him is a fireplace, several framed pictures lining the mantle. Yuuki with her arm around Yori, a sleeping babe held in between them. Another of young Ai’s smile that is missing a tooth, ponytail in complete disarray as she holds up a gold medal. His chest hurts as he looks at the precious memories.

Kaname’s eyes skim across the different frames, one by one. Zero glaring at the camera on a sunny day. Ren and Ai dressed up in frilly black and purple dresses with pointy hats on their heads from a Halloween long since passed. Zero standing in the ocean in a pair of dark swim trunks, a rare smile on his face while he held onto Ren who is perched on his shoulders. _That could have been me there with them._

 _I should have been there._ The pureblood glances downward as his chest grows uncomfortably tight and takes a step back, unable to look at the pictures anymore.

The rest of Yuuki’s home is neat and organized. A shelf with books all showing their spines and all standing straight. A small table by the couch with a clear vase filled with bright, pink flowers. Everything is tidy, but he could see a few places that still have his sister’s personal touch. A dark red blanket is strewn over the couch, and one of the throw pillows is on the floor. There are a few framed pieces of artwork on the walls that he assumes have been done by either Ren or Ai.

Kaname hates the longing in his chest. It is, all of it, a reminder that none of their lives stopped when he left. Life has gone on for his friends and family, whether he was there or not. He just hasn’t been here to experience any of it.

Yuuki reappears, balancing a wooden tray with two small, steaming cups of tea on it. She sets the tray down on the table next to the flowers and hands Kaname one of the cups, taking the other for herself.

“I’ve noticed that you don’t have servants.” Kaname points out.

“No.” She confirms with a hum, retaking her seat with the tea in her hands. “Yori and I decided that we don’t want Ai to grow up in an environment like that. Having servants to wait on her every whim, answering to her beck and call. Neither of us wanted her to grow up thinking that she could get whatever she desired simply because of her blood status.”

“I see. A wise decision.” Nearly all of the other purebloods Kaname has met are entitled, self-absorbed narcissists. There _is_ a reason why he tends to avoid them, after all. “Zero mentioned something strange to me.”

Yuuki nods for him to continue. She raises a brow in interest.

“He told me about Cross Academy and the recent attacks there.”

Yuuki visibly stiffens in her seat, spine straightening. “Oh, that. Yes, there has been an uptick in… _tensions_ between the vampires.” Which was one way to put it. “They’ve been acting out of line.”

“How so?”

“Challenging hunters on campus, venturing close to human students. Or, as you’ve probably heard, attacking them and drinking from them.” She explains with a pursed frown. 

It was all rather strange. The families of those vampires have said they were acting completely different, that their personalities had done a complete turn-about. Admittedly, on her last visit to the Academy, a few _had_ looked rather odd. There was something dark and unhinged in their eyes. Yuuki didn’t like it one bit. 

“That is troubling,” Kaname agrees.

“Yes. The Council and I have been trying to work out a solution to the problem for months.” Unfortunately, with those stubborn, old fools, it will be another year or so before they finally reach an agreement. Yuuki tsks. _Children, all of them._

“For the time being I’ve managed to convince Cross to double the hunters on campus and all night class students are under strict curfew. It’s not much, but it’s the best I can do.” She tells him. Then, upon seeing Kaname’s bothered frown, she adds,

“Don’t worry yourself over it, Kaname. Really, I can handle this. Just focus on fixing things with Zero right now, and I’ll handle the council.” When Kaname first left all those years ago, Yuuki hated him for leaving her to deal with the council in his absence. 

Over the past few years, though, she’s grown into the role. Even come to enjoy it a bit. 

She’s been responsible for some significant leaps in establishing relative peace between hunters and vampires. Acknowledging mating bonds between same-sex couples, as well as banning childhood marriages and working to do away with the prospect of arranged marriage entirely are just some of what she’s achieved thus far. Currently, she is attempting to get regulations on blood tablets established. 

So yes, perhaps part of her offer is because she doesn’t want all of her efforts to go to waste and for herself to be pushed aside in favor of her brother, as would no doubt happen. But she honestly does want to see her brother fix things with his estranged mate.

Yuuki sips at her tea, while her gaze moves to the window. “Although, now that you’ve returned I suppose there is something else you should know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I want to just preface what I’m about to say with this: Abuse is NEVER the victim’s fault nor is mental illness. Okay, with that out of the way I want to elaborate a bit on Zero and Kaname’s previous relationship. 
> 
> Kaname was controlling and a bit manipulative (though unintentionally on that last bit), which we know. 
> 
> But Zero also did kinda enable Kaname’s actions, by failing to properly draw boundaries in the relationship (because no one ever taught him how to) and once things took a turn for the worse, he stayed was also because he was desperate for someone to love him, even if that meant in the possessive, unhealthy way that Kaname did. And well—part of Zero also thought, “well, this is what I deserve.”
> 
> Kaname just really loved Zero, more than was probably healthy and never really had any basis, to begin with for what a healthy relationship looks like (I mean, considering his “parents” died and all that). So, when Zero enabled his actions, it kinda helped to send things spiraling out of control. He did and still does love Zero, he just didn’t know how to express that healthily before.
> 
> TLDR; Both Zero and Kaname fucked up, and their relationship was not a healthy one in any way, shape or form before.
> 
> Next Chapter: Zero and Kaname finally go on a goddamn date and all is good in the world. Excessive fluff may occur.


	6. Chapter 6: To new beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero and Kaname go on a date and everything is good and fine. Warning: excessive fluff and warm feelings.

Zero is a mess. In more ways than one, but that is a whole different problem for a whole different day. His emotions are all jumbled up inside of him, and he can’t tell one from the other. He doesn’t know what or how to _feel._ Why did he agree to this again?

His hands shake with nervous jitters. He doesn’t know what to expect from this date. It’s like he is back in school, waiting for Kaname to pick him up for their very first date with trepidation and excitement all at once. 

But then this _is_ their first date, isn’t it? A brand-new start, after agreeing to try and mend things between them. So perhaps it isn’t all that different. 

What version of Kaname would he see tonight? It is always a toss-up between Kaname the pureblood and _Kaname._ The fake, carefully crafted persona? Or the real, genuine Kaname? Much as he would die before ever admitting such, Zero is scared. Scared of going back to being Kaname’s obedient little mate who never questioned anything. Afraid of old feelings resurfacing.

Kaname doesn’t try and bring down all of the defenses Zero has built around himself. He pushes and pushes until Zero destroys them himself in a fit of rage only to be the one who offers him a hand up after Zero falls. The pureblood is charming and smooth with his words. He makes Zero vulnerable, and it is so damn hard to think with affection hanging over his mind like a fog. He’s always been so damn defenseless when it came to Kaname.

He loves him. He hates him. Both. Neither. It’s all so confusing.

Zero steels himself and steadies his nerves when there’s a knock at the door. His breath hitches in his chest when he opens it to the sight of Kaname in a maroon suit. He can’t help but feel underdressed in comparison.

“Hey.” He greets. “Sorry about the uh-“ Zero gestures to his plain white button-down and dark slacks. The fanciest thing in his wardrobe, if Zero is honest with himself. Both of them together probably cost a quarter of what Kaname’s did. _Fucking rich purebloods, fucking money-grubbing assholes, fucking-_

The pureblood’s eyes soften, and Zero is all too aware of them sweeping over him with appreciation. The hunter’s mouth is suddenly much too dry. “You look good, Zero.”

“Thanks.” Zero mutters, knowing that red is staining his cheeks. “So, do you, I guess.” The former hunter forces out. Fuck, people say things like that, right? God, it’s been longer than he thought since he went on a date. And okay _that’s_ a pathetic thought that he doesn’t want to stop to examine in-depth.

Kaname steps aside, sweeping an arm out in front of him. “Shall we?”

“Might as well. It’s not like I have anything better to do.” Zero purrs in return with a smirk tilting his lips, unable to resist the urge to needle the brunette. With that, he turns and locks the door before striding towards the elevators with Kaname in tow.

Zero lets out a low whistle as he steps outside. The fresh night air is a balm on his warm skin, and the streets are quiet this late, save for the occasional passing traffic. “Your driver running late, Highness?”

“No.”

His eyebrows raise as he turns to the pureblood who raises a set of shiny keys in his hand. “I drove.”

 _“You_ drove?” Zero echoes in disbelief.

“Yes. Is that a problem?”

Zero folds his arms across his chest, cocking a brow. “I’ve known you for years and not once have I seen you even go near the driver’s seat of a car, Kaname. Should I be scared?” 

“I can drive perfectly well.” Kaname retorts, indignant.

Zero snorts even as he falls in step beside the pureblood. It’s such a strange thing to think about. Kaname Kuran – The leader on the Vampire Council, the highest among the purebloods – _driving._ The Kaname of old would have considered such a thing beneath him. It was one of the many arguments between them. 

He hated the idea of having a personal driver accompanying the two of them, whether it be on dates or elsewhere. The servants he could deal with, but having a valet felt like being intruded upon. Between the driver, the servants and their guards, it seemed that they hardly had any time alone with each other. There was always someone watching them.

The pureblood comes to a stop in front of a sleek, black car. Perhaps not as advanced as the cars of the old world were, but it’s definitely among the top and most expensive models, that much is evident by looking at the thing. Zero hesitates.

Kaname looks at him over his shoulder with a teasing lilt to his lips. “You don’t trust me, Zero?”

“I don’t trust your _driving ability._ ” _Among other things._

The man sighs and walks back over to where the silver-haired vampire stands. _Stubborn as ever._

“Just because I chose not to drive for many years, does not mean that I am incapable of doing so. Besides, I would never allow any harm to come to my mate.” He punctuates his words by lifting Zero’s hand to his lips.

“We’ll see about that, charmer,” Zero says instead and takes his hand back to cover the sudden pounding in his chest. Kaname smiles knowingly at the color in the hunter’s cheeks though and Zero scowls in return.

He gives the pureblood a suspicious glance and a non-believing hum as he steps into the car. As Kaname climbs into the driver’s seat and puts the key into the ignition, he can’t help but think, ‘ _This is how I die.’_

He doesn’t die. The ride is actually rather pleasant as they pass through parts of the city that Zero isn’t familiar with. Kaname hasn’t told him much about this date, truth be told, only that they are going to dinner. Eventually, the pureblood pulls into the parking lot of some swanky restaurant with golden letters swirling above the doors. _The Rose_. Of fucking course.

Zero links his arm with Kaname's as they walk into the dimly lit restaurant filled with vibrant red accents against dark colors. The air is thick with various perfumes and colognes from various well-dressed patrons. He curls his lip and lets the pureblood do all the talking with the young waitress.

She escorts them to an area in the back, closed away from everything and blissfully isolating. Finally, Zero can breathe again, at least.

He takes a seat at the small table before realizing he doesn’t know what to say. Having Kaname sitting _right there,_ across from him only makes Zero recognize that there are seven years of absence between them. How much has changed in that time? Does he even know Kaname anymore? An awkward, stilted silence fills the space between them, both struggling for words to say.

What’s there to talk about anyway? Zero’s life isn’t exactly exciting after his retirement from the association, and Kaname is far from an open book about the years he spent away from well- _everything._ An invisible canyon stretches between them, and Zero hasn’t the faintest idea on how to cross it. He stares at the laminated menu instead, not really reading anything in front of him.

Still, the place is swanky at least. Deep, red walls accented with black floors and dimmed lighting from sconces on the walls fashioned to look like lanterns. Dark drapes cover each of the windows, and it’s blissfully silent. All in all, it has a somewhat aged gothic look to it, but it seems to suit the restaurant.

“How have you been?” Kaname questions finally, breaking the silence.

“Fine.”

“Fine?” The pureblood echoes, eyeing the former hunter. “You don’t seem fine.”

Zero stiffens in his seat. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Look at yourself, Zero. You haven’t been sleeping, you look like you haven’t fed in days and you’ve lost a great deal of weight.” Kaname argues. His voice rises with worry. Zero looks like hell, and he’d be lying if the sight doesn’t scare him. 

“I’m _fine._ ” Trouble is he’s not sure which of them he’s trying to convince anymore. His hand digs into the pocket of his jacket, running his fingers along the card from Yori, flipping it around in his hand. “Just drop it.”

“I’m worried about you, Zero.”

“Yeah. _Now_ you are.” He mutters under his breath, knowing there’s no way it escaped the pureblood’s hearing. What right does Kaname have to be worried about him? “Look, can we talk about something other than my health? Physical _or_ otherwise.” For once he actually doesn’t want to fight.

Kaname’s frown says that this conversation isn’t over, but he lets it be for now. “Ren seems like a good child.” The pureblood says instead.

Zero’s anger dissolves at the subject change like it was never there, to begin with. “Yeah. They are. It takes a bit for them to come out of their shell, but once they get to know you, they warm up quickly. Still can be a bit of shit though when they want to be.”

“Hmm. I wonder who they got _that_ from?” The pureblood comments, though it's more teasing than anything.

“I resent that.” Zero grumbles with a petulant frown. Okay, maybe Kaname has a point there.

The pureblood reaches up to tap at his chin. “Do you recall that horrendously hot summer we had? I can remember once when you, Yuuki and Yori were assigned cleaning duty, and a certain prefect thought it would be a good idea to sit on the windowsill of the open window-“

“It was _hot_ , okay?”

“And then you fell from the third floor. You’re lucky I was there to catch you.”

The silver-haired man snorts with a shake of his head at the memory of him landing in the shocked pureblood’s arms. He wasn’t sure which of them was more surprised that day. “You got me there. But who was the one who decided to ask someone out by walking up to me and demanding that I go out with you?” He questions with a fond smile. 

His initial reaction had been to deck the arrogant asshole in the face. Yet ultimately deciding that it must have been some sort of joke, he said ‘yes’ instead, curious as to what the pureblood would do. 

Kaname clears his throat, admitting, “I may not have been the best with expressing affection back then.” 

Zero grins at the color blooming across the brunette’s cheeks. _Adorable,_ he muses without even realizing it. “Oh, and that time you were jealous of a horse.”

“How was I to know that Lily was the name of a horse?”

 _“White_ Lily.” Zero corrects. _May she rest in peace, that stubborn old mare_. Kaname purses his lips, clearly not to be outdone,

“Yes, well, who was the one who wore my trousers to class changeover by mistake?”

Zero lets out a low chuckle at that particular memory. God, he can still recall the complete and utter silence that fell over _everyone_ and his own resulting confusion. Until Yuuki oh-so-helpfully pointed out the mistake. “I thought Ruka was going to burst like a tomato. Her face was so red.”

Nostalgia washes over Zero at all the memories of their school days. So many light nights spent studying or helping Yuuki cram before a test and subsequent dessert binges after finals because they weren’t of age to drink yet, so there were only so many ways that they could eat their stress. She’d always wake up the next day with a horrendous stomach ache.

Though he’ll die before admitting it, Zero actually finds himself having fun. It’s nice to remember the good times. Of course, not all of his memories of his school days are pleasant ones, but it’s not bad to remember the ones that are.

“I still remember the first time you kissed me in public.” Kaname murmurs with fondness coloring his voice.

“Mhm. I left your dorm early that morning because I had a final and was running late by the time I woke up.” Zero continues. The memory is fresh in his mind as though it were only yesterday.

“I was terribly angry when I woke without you there to kiss me as you always did. Until class changeover, when you grabbed my hand to stop me and pulled me back to kiss me in front of everyone there.”

Zero can still remember his exact words. “’ Are you happy now, bastard?’” He quotes with nostalgia coloring his voice. “I don’t think anyone knew what was going on. Half of them probably thought it was a bet or something.” He can recall dozens and dozens of shocked faces though as they all attempted to rationalize what had just happened.

“I didn’t much care.”

“Neither did I,” Zero confesses. He hadn’t given a damn about any of them, so focused on the feel of Kaname pressing his lips against his and his heart beating wildly in his chest. They’d been in their own little world, he and Kaname.

“Do you remember that incident at Yuuki’s party, when you were introducing her to vampire society?” Zero asks, meeting mahogany eyes with his own. “I was so jealous that you were with her and not me. I got so drunk, I danced with Kaito.”

Oh, Kaname remembers. He remembers seeing red when his eyes landed on both hunters that night. “I hated seeing that hunter put his hands on you. They don’t deserve you, any of them.”

_Zero stumbled away from Kaito as a tall figure pulled him back against a solid chest. An arm fell across his chest like a steel bar, trapping him there. A giggle escaped him. Everything was moving so weirdly, and he felt so funny._

_Kaito stepped forward with a glare. “What do you think you’re doing **Highness**?”_

_The pureblood bared his fangs, eyes flickering crimson. “Keep your filthy hands off of my mate, you disgusting, piece of trash. Before I cut them off.” He spat before gathering the drunken silver-haired hunter in his arms and turning on his heel. Zero fell unconscious against him, and Kaname hoped his sister would forgive him for deciding to leave her party early._

“But it was wrong of me to react the way I did, and for that, I do apologize.”

Zero hums. Of course, the pureblood realizes that _now._ It’s a start at least. Most of that night, he remembers as a blur. The hangover he had the next morning was one of the worst he’s ever had, and memories had been a bit sparse.

There’s something of a bittersweet ache in Zero’s chest at all of the reminiscing. As lovely as it is to remember, part of him will always wonder if that was as good as it was ever going to be and if it's all downhill from here. He misses those carefree days with something fierce.

The waitress returns then, sidling up to their table with a smile fixed in place. “Ready to order?”

Zero spares an ear to listen as Kaname rattles off the name of some French dish that he’s _pretty_ sure is steak and order a bottle of wine to accompany it.

“I’ll have what he’s having.” He answers when the woman turns to him. She jots down both orders on a notepad before leaving again.

“I’m sorry for what I said about Cross Academy. Blaming you like that.” The silver-haired man mutters. It’s a weight off of his chest, finally saying that. He pushes the lemon wedge in his drink around with the plastic straw. “It’s not your fault, and I _know_ that. I just- I was so angry. I wanted someone to take that out on.”

“No. You were right.” Kaname stops him. “Cross Academy was as much my idea as Kaien’s. I am at fault as much as him for what has happened.”

“It may have been partially your idea, but you weren’t here. You weren’t the one in charge of the school.” Zero points out. “Cross should have known better. But the fault lies with him, not you.”

The pureblood stills and words leave him for a moment. “Thank you, Zero.”

Zero’s breath stutters to a halt in his throat at the smile Kaname gives him. 

He offers the pureblood across from him a small, crooked smile for a brief second before it vanishes. “I wish he could stop and see what he’s doing. It’s- it’s _bad_ Kaname. The vampires and the hunters on campus are constantly at each other’s throats, antagonizing each other. Both of them keep pushing, and eventually, someone is going to get hurt. It’s not fair to drag innocent human kids into that.”

“No, it isn’t.” Kaname agrees. Zero gives no indication he even hears as he turns away with a tight jaw.

“He’s sending them to their death without even realizing it. Hell, they don’t even realize how dangerous the night class _is._ ” He shakes his head with a heavy sigh. “It’s not too late to do something. I wish Cross would give up before someone gets hurt.”

“Are relations that bad between vampires and hunters?” The pureblood questions.

Zero fixes him with a flat look that suggests he’s surprised Kaname even needs to ask such a question. “Every other day, it seems like I hear about another incident from Yuuki. A vampire killed a hunter, a hunter killed a vampire because they killed a human. Back and forth. Every damn time. The vampires feel superior and that their superiority is being infringed upon by the hunters and the hunters say that the vampires are a menace and don’t know their place.”

Kaname frowns. That doesn’t sound good. When he left, he’d thought they were beginning to reach a peace between both races, however tentative. Now it seems that there is no speck of peace or respect to be found from either side. Relations are breaking apart, and at this rate, it won’t be long until one side breaks the fragile treaty hanging between them on a thread.

“Yuuki has been trying her best, but even _that_ isn’t enough. They question her leadership. She’s only been awake for little more than a decade, and they’re saying she doesn’t know enough about their kind, their society. They’re saying she’s unfit to rule them and some even say she’s a child.”

Kaname curls his lip at that. The thought that those worthless, scum upon the council would even dare to speak ill of the _true_ Kuran heir is detestable. He would tear them all to pieces if he had only a reason to do so. It was high time for the council to be replaced anyway, to do away with the old, dried up husks who wish for nothing more but a war between the vampires and the hunters. A war they would lose.

“I don’t know what to do,” Zero admits in a shaky breath. “God, I feel so powerless, and I hate it.” And it’s probably fucked up of him to dump all of this on Kaname. But sometimes carrying around all of this on his shoulders gets to be a bit much, and it would be nice to have someone to share the burden. 

The sound of Zero’s phone vibrating in his pocket shakes Kaname from his morose thoughts. The former hunter frowns at the screen. Zero gives Kaname an apologetic smile and mouths _Yuuki_ before standing and taking the call.

“Hey, Yuuki. I-“ The ex-hunter’s brows furrow. “No… why?”

Kaname’s heart drops into his stomach as Zero freezes where he stands. He stiffens at the same time Zero wavers on his feet, as though threatening to buckle.

“What?” Zero breaths, blanching. He’s white as a sheet. “When? _How?_ ” 

Kaname stiffens at the rising urgency to his mate’s voice. Zero’s scent turns bitter and sour with a familiar scent. Fear.

The ex-hunter cards a hand through his hair, breaths coming in shaky pants now. “No. No, I can’t- okay. Okay. I got it, I’ll be there. You too, bye.”

Zero’s hands are shaking as he ends the call, one hand reaching out to grip tight to the edge of the table like he’s about to pass out. His face is unnervingly calm and still, making a chill run up the pureblood’s spine. Kaname is on his feet in an instant, reaching out to steady him.

“Zero? What happened? What’s wrong?” It’s clear enough that whatever Yuuki told him is far from good news. A knot of worry lodges itself in Kaname’s throat.

For Zero, it is taking everything he has to remember to breathe at the moment. _In and out, in and out._ Try as he might, the room spins endlessly around him. His head is so dizzy and light, almost like he’s floating. And his fucking body won’t _move._ At all. He’s frozen in place.

There’s a lump in his throat that Zero is sure is his heart at this point, ready to jump into his mouth at any second. He can’t- he can’t even look at Kaname when he answers.

“Cross. He’s in the hospital. There’s been an explosion at the association headquarters.”


	7. Chapter 7: Oh please, just don't ask me how I've been

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Choo-choo! All aboard the pain train! Mental breakdowns and bad times ahead!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos, comments and bookmarks by the way! I love all y'all so much! <3

Zero doesn’t feel anything. His body is weightless, numb, and the rest of the world moves around him in a slow blur. Distantly he thinks he can maybe make out the sound of someone speaking to him. It’s impossible to think, to breathe. Everything around him seems like it’s simply not there at all. He is distantly aware of Kaname’s hand on his arm, guiding him to the car and his own voice rattling off the name of a hospital, but it doesn’t _feel_ like him. He sits stiffly in the car as they move through the evening traffic.

_Is this what shock feels like?_

There’s no way to process what has happened. It’s too much to take in. His Father - the man who’d raised him ever since he was dropped on his doorstep as a child like a forgotten package - is in the _hospital._ He didn’t even bother to ask his sister what condition the man is in, but by the shaking, in her voice, it isn’t good.

It’s all so distant and surreal. Like a nightmare. Zero finds himself pinching a bit of bare skin between his fingers just to be sure. Definitely real.

_I never even got a chance to make things right with him._ Guilt gnaws at Zero from the inside, a painful reminder that his last words to the man had been shouted in a fit of rage. And now there might not be a chance to apologize.

He forces air past the tightness of his throat with each breath, and even that is a struggle. Kaname pulls into the crowded parking lot. He barely registers anything until he’s walking past the glass doors into the brightly lit halls of the ER. He’s not even really aware he’s moving anymore, his body operating on autopilot for him.

“Zero!” Yori breathes a sigh of something that might be relief as she runs up to him, throwing her arms around the tall man in a stifling hug. Behind her he spies the smaller forms of Ai and Ren, sitting hunched over on plastic chairs.

Around them, nurses flit about, shouting and talking with hurried steps. Other people sit in the waiting area, two men and three women, along with a small child playing with blocks on the floor. Disinfectant is pungent in the air. Are these people hunters like him, or perhaps family to one? Or are they humans that are none the wiser to the damage that has wrecked the foundation of the only organization which stands between them and a sharp, bloody death? He wonders.

The air is thick and heady with chemicals and cleaning agents, masking the odors of disease and death.

Yori pulls away to look at Zero with puffy, red eyes. Her grip on his shoulders seems to be the only thing that is keeping him on his feet. The smell of her fear bitters the air around them.

“How is he?” Zero manages to ask. She purses her lips and guides him over to a chair beside Ren, who leans on his shoulder. He pulls the teenager closer with an arm around his shoulders, for as much the teenager’s benefit as his own.

“I won’t lie to you. It isn’t good. He’s in critical condition right now.”

Ai chooses that moment to speak up. “Mama, what’s going on? You won’t tell us why Grandpa’s in the hospital. What’s happening?” She demands with a fierce glare, but even Zero can see the worry hidden behind it. “Is he going to be okay?”

Yori sighs, “I don’t know if he’s going to be okay, sweetheart. All we can do right now is wait.”

“Where is Mother?” The girl presses. “What happened to Grandpa?”

“There was an accident at the hunter’s association,” Kaname says, speaking up from the chair he has claimed beside Zero. Yori turns to fix him with an odd look, as though she isn’t sure what to make of his presence. A curious mixture of distrust but reluctant acceptance shows on her face. They both know she’s only tolerating his presence because of Zero. Were the hunter not there Kaname suspects the human woman would have more than a few choice words for him.

“Yes, Kaname is right. Your Mother is in a meeting with the Council right now.” Yori assures her daughter. _Most likely demanding answers._ If she knows anything about her wife at all, it’s that Yuuki is a force to be reckoned with when she is angry. She’d had an inkling the council had something to do with this –as was usually the case when it came to matters concerning the association – and this time, Yori had to admit that she might not be entirely wrong in that assumption.

“And Grandfather? Will he be okay?” Ai presses with a worried crease between her brows.

Yori purses her lips and takes a seat beside the girl. “I don’t know, Ai. We just have to wait and see.” She answers honestly. Ai folds her arms across her chest, the way she does when something isn’t going her way and returns to silently frowning.

Zero grows sick to his stomach. Kaname’s reaches over to take hold of the hunter’s shaking hand, entwining their fingers. He squeezes the vampire’s hand in appreciation at the small gesture of support. His other arm remains wrapped around Ren’s shoulders. 

A familiar scent tickles Zero’s nose. _Cigarette smoke and a faint trace of whiskey._ He’d know that smell anywhere, and even if he didn’t, the heavy footfalls announce his mentor’s presence well enough. Yagari looks tired and worn as he strides into the hospital, looking plenty out of place in his ragged, brown trench coat and scuffed boots. More than a few nurses cast him dirty looks.

Zero stands and lets the man pull him into a stiff hug, long dark hair brushing his cheeks as he wraps his arms around the older man. 

“Thanks for coming,” He murmurs, grateful for Yagari’s comforting presence. Well, as comforting as Yagari _can_ be, that is.

“Anytime, kid.” It’s the same words he says every time Zero sees or calls him. He doesn’t doubt it for a second. Yagari might not show it on the outside, but it is evident that he cares about the younger hunter. Anytime Zero needed something? Yagari would be there, no questions asked.

As he pulls back, Zero can’t help but notice how haggard the older hunter looks. His eyes are a bit darker, the lines on his face more pronounced. Strands of silver have started to appear in the man’s hair. 

Zero reclaims his seat as Yagari fixes him with a grim frown, one telling him that he hasn’t come bearing good news.

“How’s Cross?” The older hunter asks firstly. Zero’s throat closes up, preventing words from escaping.

“We don’t know,” Yori answers for him. “It’s not- it’s not good right now. But we haven’t heard anything for at least an hour.”

Yagari grunts. “Well keep me updated, will ya?”

“Of course.”

All things considered, the older hunter is doing a good job of hiding the worry Zero knows must be eating at him by now. Yagari and Cross always were close. As to the exact extent of their relationship? Well, that much Zero doesn’t know and neither does Yuuki, truth be told. But they _are_ close. It must be killing Yagari, having to sit around and wait helplessly like this. Just as it is Zero.

“Look, I’ll cut to the chase,” The older hunter says, looking down at Zero with one scrutinizing eye. “With Cross out of commission, kid, the title of acting President of the association falls to you now.”

“Shit.” Zero’s head falls back against the wall. Things keep going from bad to worse it seems. “I thought I told him to change that.”

Yagari grimaces. “Ya did. But Cross is never one to get things done in a hurry.”

Zero breathes out harshly through his nose. Fuck, he should have expected that. Not that it changes the undeniable fact that he isn’t prepared for this, not in the slightest. He isn’t equipped to deal with this at all. Being a leader is very much _not_ one of Zero’s strong suits. _Not that I have much of a fucking choice now._

“Okay, okay. Shit. Let me think.” He begs, hating that like it or not, right now _someone_ has to stand up and take charge in the wake of this chaos.

Especially since there will be more than a few hunters out for blood right now. The last fucking thing anyone needs is some dumb shit breaking the fragile peace treaty right now and adding to this mess.

“Just- just give me a minute, okay? Shit. _Fuck.”_ Zero’s breathing picks up in his throat. 

He has to do something. No, _multiple_ somethings. There were going to be casualties of the explosion, and it’s up to him to prevent the other hunters from doing something stupid or reckless in retaliation. Not to mention that headcount has to be taken before they can move on to figuring out how all of this had occurred in the first place. _Jesus, fuck,_ there is so much going on, so much going through his head it is hard even to remember to breathe correctly. The weight on his shoulders is threatening to crush him before he’s even begun.

“ _Breathe.”_ Kaname’s gentle voice soothes beside him, the pureblood’s hand rubbing gentle circles against his back. He nods, sucking in deep gasps of air. Some of the tension leaves him as he smells Kaname’s cologne, the vampire in him reacting instinctively to the scent of his mate.

“Right. _Right._ ” It wouldn’t do to panic now. People are relying on him. If he can’t keep calm, neither will they. He gives Kaname a grateful smile. “Thanks.”

Zero returns his gaze to the waiting hunter before him. He can see Yagari’s fingers twitch where they itch to reach for a cigarette. The older hunter doesn’t know how to deal with worry – never has. He much prefers to keep busy instead of waiting around for news – be it good or bad. 

“How many casualties so far?” Zero asks, dreading the answer.

“We’ve found five bodies so far. Sierra, Hollis, Reina, Hawke, and Alder.” Yagari answers with a pointed glance towards the kids in the vicinity. But Zero hears what he isn’t saying. _And those are the ones intact._ There is no idea how many more they would continue to find.

Zero bites back another curse as his stomach twists further. Those were some of their best hunters. People he’d trained alongside since he was a child. God, he knows it’s probably only going to get worse, but it hurts that much worse when it is those he knew. Those he fought with, laughed with, drank with, _grieved_ with. And now they’re just gone. 

With practiced skill, he pushes his emotions to the back of his mind. _Save your grief until the battle is won._ Cross had been the one to tell him that. And it seems he was right about one thing at least. It isn’t time to grieve, not yet. For now, Zero needs to be calm and logical. This wasn’t an accident. If they didn’t know that already, this alone is certainly proof enough.

“Is Dahlia in town, still?” Zero asks with a silent prayer to any deity that might be listening. He isn’t religious by any means. But they could really use the witch’s help right now.

“Sure is,” Yagari confirms. “Kaito as well.”

Well, that was the first bit of good news Zero had heard all night. “Good. Have her and the Valkyries sweep the building for any other explosives and look for survivors.” He instructed, immediately falling into the easy task of dictating orders. This much he can do. 

The Valkyries are somewhat of a touchy subject among most hunters. An elite, all-female team composed entirely of the few witches that remain – often tasked with the more difficult jobs or the ones that called for a less than conventional approach. From deep undercover operations that often last for years at a time to carrying out covert operations, there wasn’t much they _didn’t_ do. Unfortunately, they usually tend to play by their own rules and thus are widely loathed or feared among most hunters. Rumors of torture and grisly methods has earned them the nickname ‘the silencers.’

“But for fuck’s sake, tell them to be careful. The building itself is probably unstable, and we don’t need any more deaths. Tell Kaito to get a headcount on all hunters, so we know who’s accounted for and who is still missing. Have him make sure the wounded are tended to or sent to the hospital.”

“Gotcha. Anything else?”

Zero grinds his teeth together. “Yes. If you would, Yagari, recall any and all active hunters in the field. We are treating this, for all intents and purposes as a breach of the treaty that exists between the vampires and us. While we investigate this, no one is to have any contact with---” Zero stops himself just short of saying ‘any and all vampires.’ Where would that leave him? _Yeah, great idea, let them see my hypocrisy when I don’t follow my own rules by housing a vampire and dating another one. That would go over real smooth._

“—no contact with unknown vampires. Any contact with vampires that the hunters have not been in contact with previously is to be brought to me and the hunter arrested. Understood?” God, he hated to say those words, but without much to go on, he doesn’t have a _choice._ Besides, it’s as much for the vampires’ sake as it is for the hunters’; he can’t risk someone with a temper going after an innocent vampire in the field and making things worse.

Unexpectedly, Kaname speaks up at that. “Zero. You do not know that this was caused by vampires. What if it wasn’t?” Anger sharpens his tongue. Just when he thought Zero was beginning to move beyond that prejudice of his. _You always continue to surprise me._

Zero’s shoulders slump, and he gives a sad, bitter grimace to the pureblood. “I can’t take that risk, and you know it. Until we have something else to go on, I have to assume that this was the vampires’ doing.”

Zero catches Yagari’s questioning gaze flickering between him and Kaname. Zero is really not prepared to deal with an interrogation about his relationship right now. _Or ever_. As if sensing his mood, the older hunter gives the slightest of nods in understanding.

“You got it.” He assures Zero. The man gives Kaname one last lingering glance before turning on his heel and leaving.

Hours pass like that, all of them sitting in the stuffy waiting room. There’s nothing to do but wait. It kills Zero, knowing that there’s nothing he can do at this point. He sits and watches the nurses move through the halls, doesn’t bother returning their polite smiles. His stomach tightens further as a few more hunters are carried in on stretchers or gurneys. 

As it grows longer into the night and there’s yet to be a bit of news, Zero asks Yori to take Ren and Ai home. Faint vestiges of daylight are just beginning to creep over the horizon. There’s no use in them hanging around if there won’t be any news for a while yet. Both teenagers are practically falling asleep where they sit as it is, and the last thing either of them needs is a lack of sleep. 

He nudges Ren awake beside him. “Hey, kid. You’re going to be spending the night with your Aunt and Ai? That okay?” Zero asks as the teenager rubs sleep from their eyes. Maybe this really does have nothing to do with the council, but he’s not taking the risk of leaving Ren home alone right now with this whole incident hanging over their heads and the culprit unknown.

The teenager mumbles an agreement around their yawn before dragging themselves after the woman and her daughter. Zero can’t help the stone of worry that settles in his gut as Ren walks out the doors. He knows Yori better than to believe she’d ever let anything happen to either of them, but he can’t help it.

His stomach is doing unpleasant flips inside of him. Zero’s palms are clammy where they clench and unclench against the fabric of his pants. He’s so helpless and useless in everything that’s happening around him, and he _hates_ it. There’s an itch beneath his skin to do something but he _can’t_. He can’t do anything but wait for reports from Kaito and Dahlia and speak with Yuuki to see what she’s learned. His foot fidgets as his body burns with the desire to move. 

“Coffee?” Kaname’s voice startles Zero out of his thoughts, so much that it takes him a moment to register the pureblood’s words.

“What?”

“I asked if you want coffee. If you’d like, I’ll get you some.” Kaname offers.

“No, I think I’m good.” Zero murmurs. Then deciding that sounds a bit cold, adds, “But thanks for the offer.”

Coffee wouldn’t do him much good right now, except for maybe exacerbating his nerves. The former hunter’s teeth dig into his lip. He would prefer a drink of blood right now to steady himself, but he isn’t about to succumb to that desire. The sterile, overpowering scent of chemicals is choking him. He leans back against the wall once more and inhales the smell of the pureblood’s cologne, which is at least a small comfort to the vampire side of him.

“Is there anything I can do?”

Zero sighs at Kaname’s words. Truth be told he doesn’t know. It’s all still so much of a shock to him. Right now, he’s just focusing on holding together and not falling apart. Which is proving to be easier said than done. His hand finds the pureblood’s resting on his thigh and intertwines their fingers.

“Stay,” Zero answers. “Don’t- don’t leave. Please? Just- just stay.” God, he must sound fucking pathetic. But it’s so much easier with Kaname there. It’s hard to say how or _why_ just- the pureblood grounds him. And right now, he might be the only thing keeping Zero from losing his damn mind.

“I’m not going anywhere,” Kaname assures his lover.

More silence falls between them. There’s still no news about Cross, and none of the nurses Zero has talked to have known anything about the man’s condition. He resigns himself to more waiting, his foot tapping restlessly against linoleum floors. One hour turns into two. Two hours turns into three. At four Zero finally cracks, deciding that he’s had enough.

“I’m heading outside for a sec,” Zero stands without waiting for a reply from his companion. The restlessness is driving him mad, and if he has to listen to that clock on the wall ticking away for much longer, he really _will_ go crazy.

Outside he leans back against the brick wall and doesn’t waste a second before fishing out a box of cigarettes from his pocket and a lighter. He lights the cigarette and shakes when he holds it up to his mouth, taking a drag and enjoying the feeling of warm smoke in his mouth.

Some of the tension leaves his shoulders as Zero exhales. Already his head feels that much lighter and his thoughts clearer. It isn’t blood, which is also a plus.

“Those things will kill you.”

Zero scoffs, raising the cigarette to his mouth once more. “Tell ‘em to get in line.”

He can sense the disapproval in the vampire’s eyes without even turning to look at him. He reaches out with the pack in his hand and blows a cloud of smoke into the air between them. “Want one?”

The brunette shakes his head with a grimace. Zero merely shrugs and takes another drag, lowering his cigarette.

“A habit you picked up from Yagari, I take it?”

The former hunter smirks slightly as he exhales. “Well, they can’t _all_ be good ones. Where’s the fun in that?” Oddly enough, as irritated as he is, he doesn’t hate the presence of the pureblood. If nothing else, the company helps to ease the growing weight on his shoulders.

“It’s repulsive,” Kaname comments with a wrinkle of his nose.

“Maybe.” Zero agrees. “But it helps me think and it isn’t some poor sucker’s blood. Win-win.”

Kaname frowns and crosses his arms but doesn’t say anything more. For a moment they are both content to stand there in the silence, watching the lights of cars speed down the street. For a moment, they can pretend that the entire world doesn’t exist – Zero can pretend that his adopted father isn’t in danger of dying. And that his life isn’t a total mess. Almost.

“How are you, Zero?”

There it is again. _Zero._ Longing tugs at Zero upon hearing Kaname say his name in that smooth, low voice of his. The silver-haired man shuts his eyes, and calmly releases a breath of smoke. _Too calm._

“How am I? Let’s see; my ex whom I _loved_ back before he turned into an abusive dick is back from god-knows-where, and I don’t even know if I can trust him, but I stupidly allowed him a second chance. My adoptive Father is in the _hospital,_ and now I’m left to pick up the pieces, forced into a role that I _never_ wanted. My sister isn’t here, and I can’t even contact her when I need her.”

“Zero, you know that isn’t her fault.”

Zero ignores him in favor of taking another slow drag of the cigarette between his fingers. “I don’t even fucking remember the last time I slept. I can’t feel anything, and there’s nothing but this fucking, never-ending _emptiness._ So yeah – I’m just fucking _peachy._ ” He can hear his voice raising, practically shouting at this point. The way it wavers and shakes, and he doesn’t know _what to do_! His heart threatens to explode at any minute with how fast it’s beating, and a hysterical bark of laughter stays lodged in his throat, threatening to break free.

His cigarette drops to the ground only to be crushed by his shoe a second later as a pair of arms pulls him away from the wall. He finds himself glued to a warm chest and Zero-

Zero _breaks._

“I don’t know what to _do!_ I don’t know how to fix this or how to be a leader – I don’t know any of that! I’m terrified that I can’t fix this and that I’m only going to make things worse because I can’t _do this_!” Zero’s voice cracks somewhere in his frantic panicking. 

He digs his hands into the soft fabric of the pureblood’s shirt for nothing other than something to hold onto. Vaguely he’s aware that he’s crying, thick tears bleeding into the expensive fabric of Kaname’s shirt. _When did that happen?_ And oh, there’s that hysterical laughter again, bubbling up from his throat in between sobs.

It’s like he’s losing his mind with everything happening all at once. Hell, maybe he _is._ He doesn’t know whether he finds that idea comforting or frightening.

Long, nimble fingers card through his hair with the barest of pressure. The other arm keeps Zero locked firmly against Kaname. The pureblood doesn’t say anything, which the hunter is grateful for. He knows its weakness, but he _needs_ Kaname. He needs to feel the warmth of the pureblood’s body against his own, a pillar of support that he so desperately clings to out of need, need to know that he isn’t alone.

Zero releases a shuddering breath against Kaname’s chest. Kaname doesn’t dare speak, too afraid to risk ruining this fragile moment between them. No, he is content to simply be there and allow Zero someone to cling to. He leans down and presses his cheek to silver hair, inhaling the familiar scent of the hunter’s shampoo. His arm tightens around his mate, wishing, hoping there was some way he could take all of this pain from Zero.

Slowly, the man in his arms pulls away, leaving a Kaname feeling cold once more. Zero reaches up to wipe at his eyes. “I’m sorry about that. You probably- you didn’t-“

“Zero.” Kaname hushes him, catching Zero’s chin in his hand and making him look at the vampire. “You are my mate, Zero. You could never be a burden.” 

In his grip, the hunter’s chin wobbles. Zero swallows around the lump in his throat. “I- uh, yeah, thanks. _”_

It’s ridiculous. Ridiculous and childish of him, Zero _knows_ that, okay? But he needs to hear the pureblood’s voice. He can’t explain it, really. But there’s something so soothing about the low tones of his mate drifting over him.

He leans forward, pressing his forehead to Kaname’s shoulder. “Have you er, told your friends that you’ve returned yet?” He asks.

Kaname hums. “No. I suppose that I simply wanted to have some time with you alone before I did.”

Zero lets out a wet scoff. “Ruka will be disappointed, you know.”

Kaname’s arms tighten as he stiffens. “How would you know that?”

Zero shrugs. “We’ve become somewhat friends, her and I. _Just_ friends, mind you.” He tells the pureblood as jealousy clouds his mate's scent. Kaname relaxes at that. His heart leaps pleasantly when Zero’s fingers tighten in his shirt as he moves to pull away. 

“Don’t. Just- let me stay here a while?”

As if he’d ever been able to deny Zero anything. His lips curl into a smile against silver hair. And despite the circumstances of it all, there’s a pleasant warmth blossoming in his chest at having his mate in his arms once more. Something he never imagined he’d ever be able to experience again.

“Of course.” 


	8. Chapter 8: Hail to the Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She is beauty, she is grace. She’s about to kick a councilman in the goddamn face.

The air is thick. Heady with a mixture of fear and indignant anger as Yuuki sweeps into the room and strides past the standing vampires all clustered around a long, wooden table. Seiren steps forward to pull out the lone chair at the end for her, which Yuuki takes with a small nod, unable to manage a smile right now.

“The Council may be seated.” She speaks without evening facing any of them. No, she keeps her eyes low, pretending to flip through the papers before her with false interest. Beneath lowered lashes, she watches them sit with apparent confusion and discomfort. They’re on edge and worried – not surprising considering this meeting was called out of nowhere. Yuuki takes grim satisfaction in it all the same. _Good, you should be worried._

There is a quiet sound of chairs shuffling against the hardwood floor as everyone moves to take their seats. Seiren takes up her usual position, standing just behind Yuuki’s chair and watching the room. Ruka leans back against the wall and fades into the shadows in a façade of casualty, while she watches the place and its occupants like a hawk. Not a single yawn or idle tap of a finger gets past her. More guards fill the room as a security measure, positioned between massive marble pillars and in front of the doors strategically. 

Yuuki trusts Seiren and Ruka more than all of them combined.

The woman clears her throat and finally deigns to look around the table. She folds her hands neatly on the table before her. “I presume you know why I have called you all here this evening. But for those of you uninformed, allow me to explain. A few hours ago, there was an explosion that occurred at The Hunters Association Headquarters. While we do not fully know the extent of what has happened, we have received word that there are dozens injured and at least five deaths so far.”

She can feel her voice begin to shake, so Yuuki pauses to take a sip from her glass of water. It isn’t a surprise that this is hard, but she hadn’t expected it to be _this_ difficult. Every word requires a herculean effort to force from her throat.

Confusion flickers across the faces of the council members as they exchange glances. Murmurs break out among them shortly after. Words of shock and anger – others expressing their confusion at why this involved _them._ The wise ones, like Isaya, stay silent on the matter. It’s Asato that finally chooses to speak up and address her though,

“Forgive me, Your Highness, but how does this concern us?”

“Why should it _not_ concern us?” Yuuki returns calm and relaxed as ever. “If our goal is to strive for peace, should we not try to aid the association in this time of crisis?”

The man’s face reddens, and his lips tighten briefly in anger. “Forgive me, but they are mere hunters, are they not, Your Highness?”

A few council members give agreeing nods and murmurs to that and Yuuki’s gaze sharpens on the older man. “Are you forgetting that those ‘mere hunters’ are allies of ours, Ichijo? Have you so quickly forgotten the very peace treaty you, _yourself,_ signed alongside so many others all those years ago?”

Predictably, the older pureblood goes stiff with indignation, and Yuuki knows if she can see the anger brewing behind that shrewd gaze then likely so can everyone else. “I - of course not, your highness. But surely we should leave this matter to the hunters to decide? They have not taken likely to our help when we offered it in the past.”

A younger pureblood speaks up this time, a girl with sharp eyes and dark curls. Her voice is thick with an accent. “Surely we are getting ahead of ourselves, no? Your highness, with all due respects, could this incident have been the result of natural causes?”

“It’s possible,” Yuuki answers the woman. _Neva,_ something in her head reminds her, that’s her name. “But given what we know now concerning the circumstances, it’s highly unlikely.” 

For one, it is highly unlikely that such a thing would simply have _happened_ to occur during a meeting between some of their most valuable and skilled hunters. And for another, the wards in place would have protected against such a thing as they always had before. No, this is too much to be a coincidence. Yet she keeps silent, wanting to keep that information to herself for a bit longer.

“And the association is currently looking into this matter, your highness?” Neva has always been one of the few members of the council Yuuki not only tolerates but genuinely likes. She asks questions and never takes things as they are. The pureblood admires that about the younger woman. 

“Yes, they are currently beginning an investigation of their own into the matter. I will be meeting with the acting president in a few days to discuss where to go from here. However, for the time being, I must ask you all a few questions about your whereabouts earlier tonight.”

Asato huffs at that. “Whatever for? Surely you cannot be insinuating that someone on this very council had anything to do with this?” Then, as if an afterthought, “Highness.”

Yuuki raises a brow in the man’s direction as sweat trickles along his forehead. “I am insinuating _nothing_ , Ichijo. But I must consider all the possibilities before me.” Yuuki says, fighting hard to keep from lashing out at the old vampires. 

“Given recent hostilities between certain vampires and hunters, I do not discount the possibility that one of our own may have played at least some part in this incident, even those in this very room. Therefore, I must regretfully insist.”

“This is an insult!”

There’s a tick in the woman’s jaw. “With all due _respect,_ Ichijo,” Yuuki spits the word like its poison. “Your own personal feelings have no bearing on this matter. An _insult_ is the grief these hunter’s families are currently facing, the heartbreak and sorrow that they must be drowning in. An _insult_ is the rubble and wreckage that those hunters will have to sift through, looking for their comrades’ bodies and hoping they find them in one piece.” She grits out. That isn’t even mentioning how costly repairs would be and how much time it would take to essentially rebuild the place.

“My father - The _President_ of the Hunter’s Association - is in the hospital right this very second in god-knows-what condition after this attack. And yet I am forced to sit here and argue with the immature children that have seemingly taken the place of my council when I wasn’t looking!” Yuuki’s voice is deathly cold as she speaks. But there’s fire in her eyes. 

“Because of this attack, the treaty we signed with the hunters is at stake as is _everything_ we have worked for! If you do not wish for this to end in war and bloodshed, then I highly advise you to cooperate and spare me your petty _feelings._ ” 

Asato looks positively stricken at being spoken to in such a way – by one he considers a child no less. But he sits back down, thoroughly chastised. “Yes, your highness.”

“Good.” Yuuki manages to relax her tense form as she turns to face a woman on the right side of the long table, her dark locks pulled tightly against her head in a bun. She returns the princess’s gaze, unafraid as does the stoic man beside her. “Kairin and Isaya.”

“Yes, Your Majesty?” The woman answers, straightening in her seat at being called to attention. Some Yuuki’s anger dissipates at the lack of disrespect or any snide remarks from the woman. 

“In the time that the explosion occurred, you were, I believe – in a meeting with another vampire. Can you elaborate?”

“Ah, yes. Ms. Driscoll requested to meet with an available council member to discuss the current state of blood tablets. She had some rather _colorful_ complaints to address, Your Majesty.” Kairin smoothly answers.

Yuuki nods and scribbles the name down on the paper before her. She will have to call this woman and see whether or not she confirms the story.

“And you, Isaya?” Yuuki prods.

“I was tending to my garden.”

Asato scoffs. “The man is obviously lying, Your Highness. Gardening is a servant’s work, not a pureblood’s.”

“Certainly not,” Isaya counters. “My roses are very delicate, you see. They require extensive care, and I dare say I could never entrust such a task to a servant.”

“I trust you have someone to corroborate your story, Isaya?” Yuuki continues. “I do have to ensure that what you say is true.”

“Of course, Your Highness.” The man replies, as cordial and polite as ever.

Yuuki can smell the sweat upon their skin as she continues to question each member on the council. It isn’t actually intended to tell her anything, of course. Most of these people are too skilled at lying for that and even if one of them had something to do with this incident, it's highly unlikely they’d have done it themselves. No pureblood would dare dirty their own hands like that.

But her gut is telling her someone on her council had at least had something to do with the explosion, and she wants to make them worry. She wants to make them _squirm._

_“You claimed you were at the Opera, Ms-“_

_“Can anyone confirm that you were asleep, Mr-“_

_“Were you with anyone while you were shopping?”_

Most members of the council calmly tell her their alibi without so much as a flinch. But there are a few that were quite blatantly a lie. They won’t meet her eyes. Their voice sounds just the slightest bit _off._ Unsurprisingly, more than a few claim to merely have been sleeping at the time. An easy lie, given how early in the evening the accident had occurred. It might work, were they not purebloods with servants and attendants that would either confirm or deny their story.

To her credit, not once does Yuuki ever allow her worry to bleed through the calm façade she keeps up. While, beneath the table, her foot taps against the floor, restless. She wants nothing more than to leave these useless, dried up husks behind and meet her wife and Ai at the hospital. Zero is probably with them by now.

She hates having to leave her brother there alone, wishing she could be there for him. _But he’s not alone, is he?_ A voice whispers. She does remember him mentioning a date with Kaname. Which does little to ease the knot inside of her stomach but she’d rather _someone_ be with the man right now. Even if that someone is her stubborn brother. God, she hoped Zero knows her absence isn’t by one of choice.

An hour passes. And another. Outside the stars twinkle in the black sky, invitingly. Tensions run high. Yuuki has to remind more than a few of the council members to hold their tongue and remember who they are speaking to. 

Glasses of water are quickly drained in gulps and hurriedly refilled by attendants. Hands shake, and voices waver. Yuuki smiles without any warmth.

“This is ridiculous!” A man bellows as tension snaps in the room. His palm lands on the table with a loud noise. His face is flushed red, the color nearly reaching up to cover his balding head. “Why should we care so much about _hunters_?”

“We signed a peace treaty. They are not our enemy!” Yuuki snaps as her anger finally begins to show through the cracks. “I have been patient, but it is _long_ past overdue that you all realize we are not at _war_ any longer! I will not have anyone treat hunters with anything less than the respect they deserve!”

“ _Enough,_ Masahiro,” Kairin adds in an exasperated tone, with narrowed eyes in the man’s direction. “We’ve tolerated your ravings for years now, but this verges on treason. Give it a rest, man.”

“You are a child!” The man rages, jabbing a weathered finger in Yuuki’s direction. Ruka and Seiren both cautiously take a step forward, only to stop when Yuuki holds up a hand.

“Are we supposed to listen to this-this child who knows not of what she speaks? She means to corral us like _dogs_! We are not pets – we do not bend to anyone!”

The pureblood princess stands from her seat. Her eyes flare crimson. “I am _your Queen and the leader of this very council!_ You will curb your tongue before I see fit to remove it!”

The older vampire splutters and spits in her direction, entirely consumed by his rage. His arm moves to reach into his jacket, and before Yuuki can even react, he withdraws a knife and hurls it in her direction.

In a blur of black clothing and silver hair, a form darts forward faster than any of them could see. A pale hand snatches the knife clean from the air. 

Electricity burns Seiren’s fingers as she releases the blade, which falls with a clatter to the table below. Silence falls across the room as everyone stares in shock at the anti-vampire weapon that had been thrown at their Queen just now. Seiren remains where she stands – blocking Yuuki from the view of any more would-be attackers.

Yuuki doesn’t signal the guards. She doesn’t need to. They race forward as soon as the knife hits the wooden surface and push the still-raging Masahiro to the floor before binding his hands together. 

The pureblood woman’s heart races in her chest. When she finally recovers, she fixes Seiren with a thankful nod and the woman fades back into the shadows of the room once more alongside Ruka.

“Take him away, I will deal with him later,” Yuuki instructs the waiting guards, who proceed to drag the fuming man from the room, kicking and screaming. She rubs at her temples and watches the wooden doors close loudly behind them. 

As the guards escort the screaming pureblood from the room, Yuuki spies a familiar blonde figure waiting by the doors with a frown upon his face.

“Well, I should think that this brings an end to our meeting today. None of you are to leave the country until we have found out who is behind this attack and you will be assigned a guard at all times.” She orders. “I am invoking Queen's right to silence and Queen’s right to confinement until this matter is resolved. Meeting adjourned.”

 

Yuuki finds herself sitting in one of the back rooms of the council building much later, long after the meeting is adjourned and all the council members gone. No guards accompany her this time, but she’s taken appropriate measures to ensure the security of this room in particular. There are no windows, all walls had been warded to prevent even the slightest sound from escaping the room’s confines. 

She sips leisurely at a blood tablet – this one only in a glass of water. She doesn’t share her brother’s fondness for alcohol. While around her, all of her friends – or her inner council, as she prefers to call them, make themselves at home amongst the dimly lit room.

“You found _nothing?_ ” She questions with impatience.

“Not even a speck of dust out of place,” Takuma confirms with a quiet murmur.

Yuuki leans back into the couch with a shaky breath. This isn’t a surprise. She’d been expecting as much. But it doesn’t stop her from wanting to yank strands of hair out in frustration. She glanced up at the blonde vampire. “What about his staff? Did they know anything?”

Takuma exchanges an unreadable glance with the brunette beside him. Shiki gives a small shrug in response before speaking to his cousin,

“There weren’t any staff there. Asato dismissed his entire household a week ago.”

Yuuki’s jaw clenches. “Damn it.”

“If he is the one behind this, it stands to reason that he couldn’t risk any of them talking. And killing them would only draw unwanted attention. He most likely paid them off handsomely.” Takuma adds as an afterthought. “There’s a good chance he made them leave the country as well. My grandfather has always been paranoid.”

The woman sighs, tipping her head back to face the ceiling. “Find them. Find them and bring them in for questioning. We will make them talk in any way we can.” She orders to the women in the room, Seiren, and Ruka. Her two hands, respectively, and the ones within her inner council that she trusts more than anyone else. Especially Takuma right now, all things considered.

Takuma gives Yuuki a wary glance from his place by the doorway. “Are you… sure about this, Yuuki? I don’t mean to disrespect your judgment, but, is it possible that my grandfather truly isn’t the one behind this?”

Yuuki rubs at her aching temples, fully expecting this. After all, Asato is still family to the man and Takuma had always been one to give near anyone the benefit of a doubt. Unfortunately, this time she can’t abide by his wishes. The longer Asato is free, the bigger the risk there is for something like this to happen again. 

“Takuma. I understand Asato is your family, I truly do. But the fact is that man has always held a hatred for hunters. He _loathes_ them with a passion and his alibi is shaky at best, with no one to corroborate it.”

“He was sweating buckets just sitting there.” Ruka chimes in with a grimace of distaste. “It’s no secret that there’s hardly any lost love between him and Cross. Even you must admit, Takuma, this all looks terribly suspicious.”

“You’re right.” The blonde acquiesces with a slump of his shoulders. “But does it not feel as though we’re missing something here?”

“It does seem strange that a councilman would be the one to set the bomb,” Shiki speaks absently. “There’s a big risk of being seen, and it seems… odd that someone such as Asato would take a risk like that.”

“Fair point. But he could have made someone else set the bomb for him. In which case, Asato is still ultimately behind the explosion.” Yuuki rolls her shoulders as exhaustion began to weigh heavily on her eyes. 

“I’ll talk with Zero when I get a chance, and we’ll see if we can’t find out some more information together. But for now, I think we all deserve a good rest.”

The blonde vampire murmurs an agreement over a yawn. Yuuki feels a twinge of guilt for keeping her poor friend on his feet for so long, sending him on one task after another.

Ruka nods and bids farewell before sweeping out of the room in a flurry of skirts and strawberry-blonde hair with Seiren on her heels. Takuma trails behind Shiki.

“Ah, Shiki. Wait. I need to speak to you for a moment.” Yuuki blurts out. Her cousin pauses before the door and gestures for Takuma to go on without him. He turns to face the woman, who waits for the thick wooden doors to click shut before speaking.

“Shiki. Just- keep an eye on Takuma for me, will you? It’s not that I don’t trust him, but well, I doubt that Asato would care much about their relation if he ever found out that Takuma is snooping about his business…” She trails off, knowingly. “I don’t wish to see him hurt is all.”

“I will.”

She gives the man a grateful smile. “This whole situation is a mess.” She murmurs. Shiki hums in agreement, never one for words.

“It’s times like these you wish _he_ was here, don’t you?” Shiki questions.

“Kaname? Well, he’d certainly know how to handle this better than I.” She answers with a light chuckle. 

There it is again. That pit of guilt that sits in her stomach like curdled milk. But it isn’t _her_ place to tell them. Kaname will tell their friends of his return on his own time, and that is hardly any of Yuuki’s business. She’s had her fair share of getting mixed up in his affairs, and she isn’t eager to return to that time.

“You’re doing fine on your own.” Shiki murmurs and Yuuki knows it is as close to a compliment from the stoic man that she is likely ever going to get.

“Thank you, Shiki.” She watches the fireplace in front of her, eyeing the way the flames flicker and dance over the logs. “Well, I suppose that I should be going now. Yori and Ai will be getting worried.”

The other vampire nods and quietly agrees, turning to follow after his blonde partner. “Goodnight, Yuuki.”

“Goodnight, cousin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pureblood Yuuki is 1000% done. She ain’t taking anyone’s shit, y’all. As to why Asato is still alive? ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
> 
> (Also, Isaya and Yuuki are buddies in this fic verse. Isaya is also Ai's biological father via sperm donation.)
> 
> I doubt anyone cares but Neva's accent was meant to be French. But since France doesn't exist in this world anymore, I couldn't find a way to describe it without it sounding really weird.


	9. Chapter 9: Cracks in the mirror

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname spends some good 'ol quality time with our favorite smol bean, Ren. Zero encounters some hunters not exactly in favor of the new leadership. Read end chapter notes for possible trigger warnings!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise update! Betcha weren't expecting this, but I finished editing this chapter a bit earlier than planned and what better way to celebrate Independence Day for all my fellow Americans, than an update?
> 
> Sidenote: Was anyone going to tell me I've been spelling Kiryuu wrong this whole time or was I just supposed to figure that out myself while checking the tags? Tad bit embarassing there, but we'll just pretend it never happened.

As Zero takes up the position of acting President, he finds himself bogged down with endless duties, one after another in a seemingly endless list. He doesn’t even have the time to take Ren to and from school hardly anymore, so he ends up enlisting the pureblood’s help to do so. If nothing else, it would be good for both of the purebloods to grow closer.

Which is how Kaname finds himself in a car with the quiet teenager and silence filling the small space. It’s just as well, considering Kaname’s thoughts are consumed by his mate. Zero has been acting strangely calm since that night at the hospital when the incident at the association occurred. 

Cross has been in a coma since then, and the silver-haired man is taking all of it rather well. It is as though his breakdown that night simply didn’t occur. He smiled and goes about his life calm and normal like none of it had ever happened. _Too_ calmly. A hard knot has lodged itself in the pureblood’s chest and refuses to be budged.

Sooner or later Zero is going to snap like a cheap rubber band. Kaname isn’t quite sure he wants to find out what happens when he does. But sooner or later something is going to give.

“Why does Zero hate vampires?” The question is so soft-spoken it takes Kaname a moment to register that it came from the stoic teenager beside him. After all, the silent child has hardly spoken more than two words to Kaname on any given day. “Are we really monsters?”

The pureblood glances over at the teenager slumped against the window with their head knocking against the glass. 

“It isn’t that simple.” He says with a frown, needing to reassure the teenager that there isn’t anything wrong with _them._

“Sometimes, I thought Zero hated me. I used to think that he didn’t want me to attend Cross because of what I am.” Ren speaks with a waver to their voice.

“Zero had his own experiences at Cross Academy.” Kaname carefully says after a moment’s hesitation. _Insults shouted across the courtyard, the various sneers of aristocrat vampires. “_ Ones I’m sure he wasn’t eager to see you go through.”

He can see why Zero would be hesitant to send Ren to such a place, imagining how they would react to a pureblood raised by a _hunter_ of all things.

“Like what?”

“That isn’t my place to say,” Kaname says. “And truthfully, I’m not sure even I know everything that happened to Zero when we were younger.”

“He never tells me anything,” Ren says with their eyes glued to their lap. “It’s like he thinks I’m just some dumb kid who doesn’t know anything.”

Kaname hesitates before speaking again, and when he does, it's with his lips pressed into a thin line. “That does sound like Zero. He always has been somewhat of a lone wolf, preferring to keep to himself. In many ways, that is simply how Zero is.” 

His mate could be stubborn as a mule at times, refusing to share his thoughts unless someone dragged them out from him. “I can assure you, Ren, it isn’t that he thinks any less of you.”

It’s also true that Zero didn’t have much of a childhood, which Kaname unfortunately knows. He’d been forced to grow up too fast too soon, in a world that is anything but kind. Perhaps some part of the hunter wanted to protect Ren from the same fate. It’s an admirable goal if a little far-fetched.

“So, he doesn’t he hate me?”

“No, not at all,” Kaname assures them quickly. “Don’t you recall how fiercely he protected you the night we met? Fighting one’s own mate is no easy feat, but Zero was willing to do anyways for you.”

“I- I guess. But, I still don’t understand why he hates his own kind so much,” Ren stutters, hands fidgeting and continuously moving in their lap.

Kaname straightens in his seat, drawing his eyebrows together in a frown. He’d been fully prepared for that question, knowing how much Zero avoids any and all discussion of his past it isn’t surprising that Ren doesn’t know. But it isn’t his story to tell either, so he’ll keep the details to a minimum. “What do you know of Shizuka Hio?”

“The Mad Princess? Not much, other than that she’s Zero’s sire. Why?”

The brunette keeps his voice flat and devoid of any emotion when he speaks. “The night Shizuka turned Zero was the same night she murdered his family in cold blood.” His fingers tighten where they grip the steering wheel. “Because of the actions of one misbegotten, selfish fool who set her free from her prison.”

Ren’s head jerks back from the window as if burned to look at the older pureblood with a frown between their brows. “But _why?_ Why would she-”

“Zero’s parents were the very reason she went mad in the first place, after killing her human lover.”

The teenager goes rigid as a statue in their seat, dull violet eyes turning away from Kaname and fixating on nothing in particular. They simply sit there limp as a marionette whose strings have been cut, trying to take in that information. 

“It- it was _you,_ wasn’t it?” Ren’s voice shakes as they speak, firmly refusing to look at the other pureblood. “The one who let Shizuka out of her prison.”

“If I say yes, would you hate me?”

“That depends. _Was_ it you?”

The older pureblood avoids the teenager’s eyes when he answers. “Yes.”

Ren’s shoulders slump, and they go silent for a long while. Their fingers are busy toying with a loose string on their uniform, curling it around their fingers and bending it into odd shapes. There is a soft wrinkle to their nose that looks reminiscent of the way Zero wrinkles his nose whenever he’s thinking intensely about something.

Did they hate Kaname? That isn’t an easy question to answer. They don’t know much of the other pureblood for starters, which may have been due in part to their reluctance to speak with the man. But Kaname did not seem all _that_ bad. He certainly did not appear the same as the vile man in Ai’s stories. 

“Did you mean to do it?”

“To let Shizuka free? I should think so.”

“No, to ki-kill Zero’s family. Did you know she would do that?” Ren asks quietly.

“I did not,” Kaname confesses, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I was curious, interested to see what she would do.”

“Then how can it be your fault?” Ren retorts. “I think you’re selfish, arrogant, and entitled. And you might have done a bad thing. But I don’t think I hate you for something that wasn’t your fault completely.”

Kaname releases a held breath at that, his chest loosening. “I’m glad to hear that,” And for once, it isn’t a lie. He honestly doesn’t want to earn Ren’s hatred, not only because of how Zero would react either. In fact, he rather likes this child. They remind Kaname of a younger version of himself at times – cunning and clever and much more observant than he thinks his mate gives them credit for.

“Can- can I tell you something?” Ren asks with a low tone, like whispering a secret. “When I was young, I used to see my parents- they would enthrall humans and lure them home. They’d bite them and just drink and _drink._ Enough to drain them dry before tossing them aside like- like _nothing._ I thought they were monsters, and I started to think that I was too after a while.”

The older vampire curls his lip up at Ren’s words. _Pigs._ Unfortunately, the blood trafficking trade is wide-spread and not at all as uncommon as it should be. Yet to do such a thing and in front of a _child_ no less? _Those filthy swine hadn’t been worthy of the air they breathed._ The pureblood takes a deep breath and forces his fists to unclench.

“You are not a monster, Ren. What those vampires did is repulsive and unacceptable. You needn’t ever drink a drop of human blood if you don’t want to, that is why we have blood tablets. Zero has dealt with more bad experiences regarding vampires than most, but despite what he says he doesn’t hate all of us.”

Ren frowns at that and ducks their chin for a moment, a curtain of pale hair fluttering softly with the movement. 

“Sometimes, people will do bad things. I have, Zero has. Some vampires respect humans and some that don’t, in the same way, that there are hunters who respect us and those that don’t.” Kaname doesn’t smile as he speaks, eyes fixed forward yet somewhere else altogether. 

“But we are not all the same. We are not all good or bad, just as no one person is good or evil. Nothing is ever that black and white.”

The teenager doesn’t quite know what to think about his words, that much is evident by the furrow between their brows and the lip they tug between their teeth. Kaname’s lips quirk at the sight. _Another one of Zero’s habits._

“I suppose I know what you mean.” They say slowly with a questionable lilt to their voice.

They most likely don’t, not really. But that’s fine. Kaname didn’t expect them to, not yet anyway. It’s too early for them to be worrying about such things anyway. For now, they’re still just a child, and he isn’t about to take that away from them.

Fluorescent light pours over the small room from the light fixture attached to the ceiling. The walls loom and press in on Zero, encroaching on the small table where he sits with a paper cup of water in his shaking hands. On the table, an array of photographs sit with their blank, white backs facing up.

“You are going to see some bruising and possibly some blood in these photos.” A professional woman in a pressed, black suit says to him. “We have tried our best to remove any disturbing material, but unfortunately, these images may still make you uncomfortable.”

_I’m a hunter,_ he wants to say. _I’ve probably seen much worse shit than this._ But that doesn’t make it any easier, he knows. Because when he turns those photographs over it will be images of people he knew, people he’d worked with, spoken with, drank with. Not the unknown victims he usually encounters on missions. His breakfast protests loudly in his stomach.

“We can start whenever you feel ready.” The woman says, taking a seat across from him. “Take all the time you need. No pressure.”

He forces his head into a jerky nod. “Let’s get this over with.”

The first photograph isn’t pretty. It is half of a pale hand, limp and lifeless. The flesh is colored purple and yellow with bruises, and Zero can see a speck of red at the bottom where it was cut off. But what draws his attention is the small, pink scar on the palm.

He knows that scar. 

_“Sierra, don’t-“_

_“Shut up, Zero. I know what I’m doing. I’ve seen my mom do it plenty of times.” She assured him, tossing the dagger up in the air. The blade twirled and came back down, embedding itself in the girl’s hand. Her scream could be heard throughout the whole building._

“This scar.” He points. And if his finger shakes while doing so, the woman says nothing. “It’s Sierra’s.”

“You’re _sure?”_

“Positive.”

Zero turns over another photo with resignation. A scrap of green fabric, rough and fraying at the edge. “Also, Sierra’s. She never went anywhere without that scrap of fabric around her arm.”

The woman nods, and he grips another glossy photo. It shouldn’t be this easy. There should be at least some kind of hesitation in him at seeing pictures of his dead friends, right? But it’s strangely autonomous, how he’s able to turn the photographs over one right after another. 

This one is of another piece of skin, pale and mottled with bruises just as the last one. Except this one has a stream of blood running down it, cutting through the picture of a tattoo. It isn’t anything really special or unique. A tiger lily, with pink and orange petals speckled with dark spots and a dark stem that ran down to her hip.

“Is that one Sierra as well?” The woman asks quietly. 

“Yeah.”

Zero forces himself to shove away any and all emotions of his. The guilt. The sorrow. The anger. He pushes it all to the back of his mind until there is nothing but the emptiness again. If he lets them creep in, there will be nothing left, and he’ll lose himself in those bitter thoughts of his, never finding his way back out again. But maybe that’s just the lingering shock talking. Who knows?

He makes himself sort through picture after picture. 

_Hollis’ birthmark that sat on her right cheek and stretched when she smiled._

_Alder’s stupid ear gauges that he refused to get rid of and that ridiculous tie with ducks on it that he usually wore loosely draped around his neck._

_Hawke’s iconic red nails that she was fond of poking people with._

_Streaks of Reina’s blue strands among her natural blonde._

_Sota’s tattoo of a star on his cheek that he later ended up regretting but far too late to do anything about it._

_The rings from Masaru’s hand that had been missing two fingers since long before Zero had met him._

Hours pass like that for Zero; sitting in a chair and numbly sorting through photos of his comrades’ bodies. One after another after _another_. When he finishes his shoulders slump, and the hunter rubs the exhaustion from his eyes. It’s odd, how such a simple task can leave him so _drained_ afterward.

To his credit, though, not once does Zero cry or breakdown or stop because it gets too painful. No tears are burning behind his eyes, all of them having already been shed. No racing heart or knots in his belly. Nothing but the vast emptiness.

And as the woman politely thanks him for his assistance and he leaves the brightly lit room for the equally bright outside world, his throat tightens. Zero shields his eyes with one hand, unable to escape the cheerful rays of sun that somehow seem to be mocking him.

_Cross is in a coma._ As Zero sits in front of the wooden desk, that’s the thought that continues to plague him. 

Comatose and unresponsive had been the exact words the doctor had used. A doctor whose name he doesn’t even remember. _Cross is in a coma._ Those words mean nothing to him. For all intents and purposes, they’re just a bunch of random letters smushed together in a series of odd, unrelated words. Just _nothing._ Which should probably be concerning in and of itself. But it isn’t, not to Zero.

“Zero?” He blinks at the sound of his name and looks up to see a young man in the doorway of his temporary office. The man twists his hands in front of him and fidgets where he stands, avoiding the hunter’s harsh, violet gaze. “Er, Kiryuu I mean. Apologies, sir.”

“Zero is fine.” The hunter clips. “What is it?”

The man blinks and hesitates. He lingers in the doorway, dark eyes flitting around the room aimlessly. “It’s- what are you writing, sir?”

Zero looks down at the paper beneath his hands. The ink on the paper just looks like scribbles to his eyes. He blinks a few times in rapid succession before realizing it’s not helping. “I- don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

He shakes his head in the hope of clearing the fog. It doesn’t work. “It’s nothing, forget it. Did you need something?”

The man straightens as though he’s only just remembered what he came here for. “Yes, sir. I just got done speaking with Ms. Rogers’ family, and I wanted to ask you what type of flowers we should send for her funeral. They did not seem to know, and I assumed that you might have an idea… sir.”

“Tiger lilies.” Zero answers automatically, his brain working far ahead of him. “Sierra liked tiger lilies.”

“Understood, sir.”

“Anything else?”

“Yes. I was sent to ask you what the protocol for the victims’ funerals should be, sir. Some of the hunters were only novices and others had been with us for some time, so we were questioning if-“

“Full honors. Bury all of them with full honors.”

The young hunter flinches back slightly.“Er- pardon, sir?”

“You heard me. I don’t give a damn what rank they were. They _died_ as hunters, and they will be buried as such.” Zero orders, raising his voice. He can nearly see the poor kid shaking beneath the weight of his stare. These people were their kin – their brothers and sisters, and he _will_ see them buried as the hunters they were.

The poor man finally seems to recover and gives Zero a shaky nod. “Yes, sir. Understood, sir.”

“Good. Now get out.”

It’s all the dismissal the man needs before turning on his heel and all but running from the room. 

With the annoying man gone from his sight, Zero sighs and leans back in his chair. He stretches his arms over his head with a satisfied groan. It dies in his throat when he sees the remaining pile of paperwork. Fuck that. He needs coffee for this shit.

He rises from his chair and makes his way out into the hallway. With the old building being little more than a pile of rubble and a few standing walls, the remaining hunters have been forced to relocate to a different branch as a temporary headquarters. Which means he doesn’t know this building as well as he did the old one and Zero _hates_ it.

_I wonder what Kaname is doing,_ the thought pops into the hunter’s mind, sudden and quick. God, since taking up Cross’ position he’s been so busy, always running off to do one thing or another. It seems like he barely has any time for himself lately, let alone the pureblood he’s dating. Not that it stops him from occasionally picking up his phone just to glance through the pictures they’d taken together.

_Damn it._ This is exactly part of the reason why he’d retired in the first place. Being a hunter meant not having time for much else, and it’s doubly so when one is the fucking _President_ of the association. 

Zero makes his way down to the lower level as his mind drifts to his lover. _What is he doing right now?_ Come to think of it, what _did_ the pureblood do? Besides reading and working through piles of paperwork, he honestly hasn’t ever seen Kaname do much. _Whatever it is, it’s probably more exciting than this shit,_ he decides.

Somehow, miraculously, he manages to find the kitchen, empty save for a group of four young hunters eagerly engaged in conversation. He snorts at the sight of hands gesturing and chests puffing up. 

Yet the use of his name has Zero pausing and ducking out of their sight before he can really think about it. He plasters himself beside the doorway. Of course, he’s no stranger to gossip and pointless rumors, but that doesn’t mean he isn’t interested in _hearing_ what said gossip-mongers have to say about him.

“--- He’s a _Kiryuu!_ Aren’t they like, legendary?”

“Yeah but that was before he became a dirty bloodsucker. A level fucking _D_ is our president! I bet those leeches wouldn’t allow a hunter on _their_ precious council.”

A different voice. “Not to mention he was a pureblood’s bitch. Wonder how that dirty, little faggot likes it, huh? I bet he takes a dick _really_ well.”

“Eugh. You thinking of fucking that? Who knows where it’s been? He’s probably got several diseases and shit. Not to mention that he’d probably eat you in the middle of it.”

“I’m _just_ saying! Have you _seen_ his ass?” The kid lets out a low whistle. Zero is reminded of why he detests working with teenagers.

“I can’t believe you’d consider fucking a leech. If you ask me, he should be put down like the bitch he is. Before he goes off the rails and kills someone.”

A better man would have walked away and brushed off the comments. Cross would have. But Zero has never had much in common with his adoptive father.

He steps into the room with quiet steps and stops before clearing his throat, loud and deliberate. They all look young – couldn’t be older than maybe late teens at the most. Dark clothes and messy hair and that smug, defiant attitude about them. _Yeah, definitely teenagers._

“Must be a boring day if you’ve got nothing else to do but stand around and talk all day,” Zero says casually. He can _smell_ the acidic tang of their fear souring the air. Their wide, frozen gaze at being caught out. One of the smaller ones, a meek blonde boy speaks first.

“S-sir we weren’t-“

“Shut up.” He says without any real venom. He walks past the group and turns to face them. Next to the short blonde, there’s a slightly taller kid with hair the color of almonds that looks away from Zero. Another darker brunette that towers over the group with his hair pulled back into a ponytail meets Zero’s gaze head-on with a perfectly neutral expression. And finally, a glaring redhead that’s most likely the leader of their little group. _Oh, if looks could kill._

Zero holds out his hand to the group.

“Give me your weapons.”

The redhead balks and takes half a step forward. “ _What?_ But we didn’t-“ He’s taller than Zero, but if he means to intimidate him, the kid is going to learn that’s a futile endeavor. 

The older hunter flexes his fingers and shoves his hand further towards the group. God, he isn’t getting paid enough for this. “ _Give. Me. Your. Weapons.”_

There’s an unspoken promise of punishment in Zero’s voice, and it sets them all in motion at last. After a long hesitation, they all slowly reach and grab their weapons before depositing them into his waiting hand more harshly than necessary. A revolver, a dagger, three throwing stars are given to him, and a sword is thrown to the ground at his feet with a loud clatter. Zero calmly collects them and deposits the weapons onto the counter beside him, making a mental note to have someone collect them later and give them to other, more _competent_ hunters. 

He turns to face the young troublemakers again with a blank stare. “Good. Now tell me your ranks.”

“Novice. Five-year.”

“Hunter. Three-year.”

“Hunter. Seven-year.”

“Hunter. Eight-year.”

The silver-haired man fixes them with a lazy grin that’s all teeth, taking his time to pass over each one in turn. “You’re all dismissed. From this day forward, you are no longer hunters. You shall never again possess an anti-vampire weapon, and you shall no longer be allowed on association grounds. Dismissed.”

The redhead snarls at this and takes a step forward with tightly clenched fists at his side. “You can’t do that! Just because we said-“

Zero tilts his head to regard him with pursed lips pressed into a thin line. Much like his patience. _Who on earth does this little shit think he is?_

“I can, and I _am_.” Zero drawls slowly, dragging out each syllable. “You’ve proven yourself incapable of keeping your emotions out of your work and have demonstrated that you are volatile and not capable of treating vampires with respect. In doing so, you have shamed and disgraced your families. You have proven yourselves unworthy of the blood that runs in your veins.”

The shorter brunette scoffs and wrinkles his nose. “What’s the big deal? They’re just stupid leeches.”

“They are _not_ our enemy!” Zero hisses, surprising even himself with the words. “We have signed a peace treaty with them. We do not kill them without reason. They are _people_! That you cannot even understand that proves you are not worthy of being a hunter.”

The older hunter steps closer to the group of hot-blooded teenagers, holding his chin high and dropping his voice low when he next speaks. “It cost a great many lives on both sides to get that treaty signed, and I will _not_ have it all jeopardized because some cocky, arrogant little _shit_ thinks that he doesn’t have to follow the rules.”

He watches the teenagers as he steps back. A few of them swallow with hunched shoulders, while the shorter brunette and the mouthy redhead glare at him with flinty eyes. 

“Now get out of my association.” Zero orders, turning away from the cocky young hunters. _They’re just stupid kids,_ he tells himself. Still too young to fully recognize the stupidity of their actions.

Zero fully expects the punch that comes flying at him, but that doesn’t stop him from being just a split second too slow to stop it. Pain blossoms through his lower face as the redhead’s fist connects harshly with his jaw, followed by a sharp crack that suggests something is probably broken.

He nearly stumbles as white spots dance across his vision. Zero thankfully manages to calmly step to the side and reaches up to grip the second fist that comes flying by his ear. He swings the boy around and grips his other arm. Zero tightens his grip on the boy’s hand, wrenching the kid’s arm behind his back and Zero presses the fuming redhead up against the nearby refrigerator.

“Did you think that would work?” He asks with a shake of his head. 

“Kid, you aren’t even a fully-fledged hunter yet, and I’ve been doing this a whole lot longer than you have. It’s going to take a lot more than that to knock me down.” Zero chastises even though every single syllable sends fire through his aching jaw. “ But if you pull some dumb shit like that again and I’ll break every single bone in your arm so badly it will never work right again. Am I _clear?_ ”

The redhead stiffens in his hold at the threat and gives a quick nod. Zero releases him, stepping back once more as the redhead moves out of his reach quickly. His eyes flicker to the remaining wide-eyed teenagers. Even the mouthy brunette swallows and looks away. _Learned our lesson have we?_

“I don’t like repeating myself. Get the fuck out before I decide to make this even worse for you.” Zero says.

They all nod dumbly before leaving. The redhead picks himself up and fixes Zero with one last glare before trailing after his friends, leaving the older hunter to just shake his head at the whole thing. _Stupid, cocky, little shits._

Zero glances at the coffee machine before realizing his desire for the bitter taste of caffeine has dissipated. He turns and makes his way back to his office. With a growing tightness in his chest.

As the door shuts behind Zero, the hunter’s head throbs loud and painful like a drum. Beneath him, his legs waver and shake with energy. He can’t stop thinking about Cross and all the things neither of them got to say to each other. All the hurtful words he’d hurled at the man in a fit of anger. ‘Useless’ ‘Coward’ and those didn’t been among the worst ones. Every argument, even insult is playing on loop in his mind like a damn movie, and Zero is helpless to stop it.

He couldn’t think, couldn’t rationalize. The hunter leans back against the door and presses a hand to his throat as the air itself presses down around him, smothering him. Zero squeezes his eyes shut, trying to block out the disturbing thoughts that just keep _coming._

_Cross is in a coma. Cross is in a coma. Cross is in a coma. ComaCrossComaCrossComaCross._ His blood rushes through his ears. _Yourfaultyourfaultyourfaultyourfaultyourfault._

His Father is in a coma. Kaname is back. Kaname is back. _He’s going to hurt me_. _He hates me._ His breath comes in sharp, short gasps. When was the last time he slept? When was the last time he drank? All he can think about is Kaname and Cross. _I left Kaname, I made Cross hate me. I caused this. This is my fault. Oh god._ Kaname hates him, Kaname loves him. _I put Cross in that hospital. I should have known. I should have been able to do something._

_Can’t think, can’t breathe. I’m going to die._

Zero’s knees buckle and send him crashing to the hardwood floor as his vision tilts. Thoughts are racing through his head. One after another. Cross. Kaname. Association. Faggot. Level D. Leeches. Around him, the room is spin, spin, _spinning_ so fast around him that he can’t keep up. Numbness spreads throughout his fingers and hands where they shake rapidly.

Beads of sweat collect on his forehead and pour down his spine. _Can’tthinkcan’tthinkcan’tthink. Allyourfaultallyourfaultallyourfault._ His heart hammers away in his chest, faster and faster and _faster._ It’s all his fault, all of this. Everything!

The room is a whirlwind around him, and air rushes through his ears, not unlike what happens when he ducks his head underwater. He can’t stop thinking. Everything is his fault. Everything is wrong and bad and horrible. Kaname hates him. Cross is going to die. His throat closes up _. My fault, my fault, my fault!_

Zero’s voice is stuck, useless in his own throat. He’s drowning under the deafening silent thoughts of his but helpless to do anything about it. Everything is crashing down around him, making him shake and sweat. Desperate fingers clutch and grab at his own hair, but he still can’t fucking _think!_

There’s an unseen hand around Zero’s throat, fingers digging harshly into his skin and crushing his windpipe, choking him. A pressure pushing down on his chest. All his fault. All his fault. He can’t control his body, can’t move. His body won’t listen to him. The room is spinning so fast, too fast. Whiteness blurs the edges of his vision. Sharp, quick gasps leave his chest. All his fault. All his fault!

And then, suddenly, blissfully, everything goes white.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings: Panic attacks, homophobic language, assault.


	10. Chapter 10: I'm not calling you a liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero doesn't know how to deal with feelings and is awful at taking care of himself. It takes a visit from his pureblood lover to point both of those things out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I continue to love and appreciate all my readers. Many kisses for kudos/comments/bookmarks as well. Muah!

There’s something- no _someone_ nudging him in the cheek. It’s annoying, and Zero grumbles and groans, wishing whoever it is would knock it off.

“Hey—wake the fuck up sunshine. Or I swear to _god_ I will pour a bucket of ice water over you.”

He comes to, opening his eyes at the sound of Kaito’s rough voice. Zero stares up at his friend above him, the older man peering down at him with crossed arms and raised brows. Kaito presses his lips together, and Zero is aware of something soft yet sturdy beneath him that he recognizes as the couch he keeps in his office.

Everything that happened comes back to Zero. The teenagers, the panic attack in his office, all of it. And yes, the delayed pain now making itself known in his jaw, reminding him of the punch he took to the face. The man offers him a hand and Zero takes it, letting Kaito help him up off of the couch in his office. Before the room tilts beneath his feet and he sits back down.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Well, that’s one hell of a way to talk to someone who lifted your ass off of the floor and made sure you weren’t fucking hurt. Most people settle for a _thank_ _you_.”

“Fuck you, Kaito,” Though there wasn’t any real bite to Zero’s words.

“You’re lucky it was me who found you. The old man would have lost his shit if he walked in here to see your dumb ass passed out on the floor.” Kaito comments. “Oh, and by the way? _You’re welcome,_ you ungrateful ass _.”_

Zero gives him a glare. Were he able to talk without pain ricocheting throughout his face he might have spat out an insult at the smug bastard. As it was, he settles for raising up a middle finger in his direction that makes the other man laugh. Kaito moves to lean against his desk and folds his arms like a teacher waiting to hear an excuse from a misbehaving student.

“All right, I’ll bite. What the hell happened to your face?”

Zero grunts and only makes the mistake of trying to talk once. He regrets it when it feels like there’s a knife digging into his jawbone on the right side. Zero gives Kaito a very sharp glance instead, causing the man to sigh and reach behind him. The older man turns around with a clear pouch full of red liquid, throwing it, so it lands in Zero’s lap.

“There. That should help you heal enough to talk at least.” He says with one last grimace at the blood bag, like its very existence is an affront to him.

The silver-haired hunter grips the bag with delicate hands. His throat burns already at the rich scent seeping through to his sensitive nose. Amethyst eyes flicker up to Kaito still lingering. Ordinarily, he wouldn’t feed in front of others, disgusted by the idea just as much as those who have to watch. Zero’s hunger, coupled with his pain means that he doesn’t honestly give a damn about Kaito watching him right now.

He holds the bag up to his lips and pierces the soft surface with his fangs under Kaito’s vigilant eyes. Sweet, succulent blood hits Zero’s mouth, and the pain in his jaw begins to subside a small amount. _A Positive,_ he notes in his mind. For a few slow minutes, the only sounds filling the room are the clock on the wall ticking away and Zero’s quiet drinking.

It’s then that his healing powers kick in, removing the pain from his jaw as the bones and tissue work to repair themselves. He drags the bag away from his mouth with less than half of the blood remaining. But that can wait. For now, he need not be a vampire to sense Kaito’s impatience.

“It was nothing. Just a stupid fight,” Zero says, chasing droplets of blood on his chin and lips with his tongue. “A few little shits got too cocky and I took them down a peg. I dismissed them too.”

Kaito lets out a low whistle. “Damn, that bad? What’d they do?”

“That’s a long story.” Zero answers, not keen on explaining to his friend why he removed the ranks of hunters for a few off-hand remarks and insults about Zero himself. God, he can imagine how that would appear. _Except they weren’t off-hand comments,_ a voice in his head supplies. _You were there. They weren’t joking, and you know it._

“Fine, I’ll take your word for it, _boss_. I saw Kentaro on his way out—the redheaded one. He’s always been an arrogant, piece of shit even for his age. It _was_ satisfying seeing him look like someone had pissed in his Cheerios.” Kaito comments with a snicker. 

“That still doesn’t tell me how the fuck some scrawny little shits knocked you out cold with one blow though. Have to say, Z, your skills are rustier than I thought if that was all it took.”

Zero stiffens where he sits. Shit, he hadn’t bothered to think that far. But like hell is he telling his best friend that he had a goddamn _panic attack._ Provided Kaito didn’t look at him like a nut job he’d laugh himself silly over the idea of it. _Him—a trained goddamn hunter having a fucking panic attack._

He forces a half-hearted glare. “Yeah, you might be right about that.” He lies.

Kaito purses his lips and eyes his friend. His chest wrenches at Zero’s poor attempt of a lie. Who did he think he was trying to fool with that forced casual tone to his voice? They both know there’s no way some arrogant kid would ever be able to knock Zero Kiryuu of all people out with one blow.

Hell, the man was a vampire for god’s sake, he would never go down that quickly. It hurts like hell though, knowing that Zero was lying to him to avoid whatever truth he was hiding.

The older hunter looks at his friend. His skin is so pale and sallow, eyes sunken in and rimmed with black circles. Even his hair is dull and messier than he keeps it. No, it’s not worth arguing over it right now he decides.

“Your jaw is healing, I think. But you should finish your uh- _meal_ there. Wouldn’t want Ren asking questions.” Kaito nods his head towards the half-empty blood bag in his friend’s lap.

“No.” Zero agrees. The last thing he wants is Ren seeing the bruising on his jaw and asking what happened. It wouldn’t be the first time Zero came home injured, but he doesn’t strive to make it a habit.

Zero picks up the blood bag and resumes his meal with gentle squelching and slurping sounds. His gaze drifts to the window on the opposite wall where he can see the sky beginning to lighten to purple, making way for sunrise. God, it hadn’t even been midnight when he returned to his office. Damn, _how long was I out?_

Kaito follows his gaze and lets out a hum. “Even if it weren’t so late, I’d force you to take the rest of the day off, by the way. No offense but you look like shit, Z. More than usual, I mean.”

There’s a noncommittal hum from the feeding vampire, but this time there’s at least no gestures accompanying it. Kaito takes that as a good sign. 

Zero finishes the bag in a few minutes and pulls the empty plastic away from him. He wipes the excess from his lips with the back of his hand and tosses the empty packaging into the nearby waste bin.

“Need a ride home?” Kaito offers. He lifts his hand to show off a set of shiny keys, jingling them. “I don’t mind.”

To his surprise, Zero snorts and shoves his hand out of the way as he rises. “Like hell, I’d need a ride from you, Kaito. I’m not an invalid.”

Kaito lowers his hand with a frown. “I know you aren’t. I meant-“

“I’m aware of what you meant,” Zero assures him, waving a hand over his shoulder while he reaches for his coat next to the door. “Really though, I’m good. I swear.”

Somehow Kaito doubts that, but he lets him go. Zero leaves after that, disappearing out the door with a reminder for the older hunter to lock the office behind him. Kaito can’t help the bitter sting of rejection that washes over him at the sight.

There’s little traffic on the roads at this time of night. Zero makes it back to his apartment complex, sparing his face a glance in the mirror. He grimaces at the colorful bruise still staining his skin. Knowing his luck even with the blood he just had it’ll still linger for a few more hours.

 _Oh well, not like anything I can do about it,_ he resigns himself as he makes his way up the dank staircase to his floor. But, as he enters his apartment, Zero sucks in a breath of surprise at the pureblood waiting for him on his couch.

“Hey.” He greets somewhat stiffly, with an awkward little raise of his hand. In his chest, Zero’s heart gives a little flip, the _traitor_. 

Kaname seems to have made himself right at home, his shoes sitting by the door while he reclines on the couch in one of his dark blouses and trousers. Zero’s breathing pauses in his throat when he notices the few buttons at the top left undone, tongue growing dry and heavy in his mouth. The vampire lifts his head to fixate on Zero. _Was he sleeping?_

“Ah, you’re back.”

 _He looks like a stray cat,_ Zero can’t help but think, _perking up as its owner returns home._ _Or a waiting spouse,_ his mind betrays. He figures it’s best not to examine that last one too carefully. “Yeah. Where’s Ren?”

“Sleeping.” Comes the pureblood’s response as he stands from the couch and crosses the room in silent footsteps.

Zero clears his throat, knowing what Kaname’s gaze narrows in on. “You didn’t have to stay. I- have you been waiting for me this whole time?” In his defense, it’s not a deflection tactic if he is genuinely curious.

Alas, his efforts go to waste though, as icy fingers grip his chin. Kaname raises his face so he can examine the injury under the light. His fangs lengthen in his mouth, aching to have revenge on whoever would dare to hurt his mate. The pureblood’s grip tightens on Zero’s chin.

“It’s not as bad as it looks, I swear. Really, it doesn’t even hurt anymore.” Zero assures him.

“ _Who?”_ Kaname grits out.

Zero bristles at the low tone of his voice, metaphorical hackles rising. “Why is that any of your damn business?”

“ _Zero,_ ” Kaname warns.

The silver-haired man gives a defiant glare in response and quirks a brow. He knows that if he wanted to, Kaname has more than enough ways of finding out. But he’s curious to see if the pureblood will keep his promise or prove him right by returning to his old ways of demanding answers. His heart hammers away in his chest.

Finally, Kaname gives a sigh as his hand moves to cup the hunter’s cheek instead, shoulders slumping. “You are still my mate, Zero. If someone hurt you, I would like to know who. Is it so hard to believe that I care for you?”

Zero’s heart freezes in his chest as Kaname’s thumb brushes over his bottom lip. He looks into Kaname’s eyes, meeting the pureblood’s red gaze with his own. “Why? So, you can hurt them back?” He challenges.

“Now you’re putting words in my mouth. I never said that.” 

A frown appeared between the pureblood’s brows as he leaned forward to inspect the fading bruise on Zero’s face, blotchy purple and yellow skin. Was this from a vampire or another hunter? Kaname’s mind ran through the possibilities. A hunter attacking Zero, or _multiple_ hunters deciding to fight against the level D’s leadership. He wished Zero would let him help.

Zero gives the taller vampire an appraising look before relaxing upon seeing nothing but truth written upon Kaname’s expression. His teeth gnaw on his lower lip as he focuses instead on Kaname’s mouth instead of his probing gaze. 

“Look, it wasn’t a big deal. Some little shits were mouthing off, and I set them straight. That’s all. And don’t bother going after them, I’ve already dealt with them.” He confesses, staring at the pureblood’s chin instead of his eyes.

Kaname’s lips press together into a thin line and somehow Zero senses they’re not done with this interrogation. “What were they mouthing off about? You? Or perhaps all vampires?”

“Both.”

He senses another bright, burning flare of anger from the pureblood’s aura at that. But Kaname remains surprisingly calm. “What did you do to them?”

Zero gives a small satisfied chuckle. “I dismissed them as hunters. Not for what they said about me before you start. I couldn’t care less about that. But the way they were talking about vampires—as if they were all vermin, no better than the shit on their shoes. With that kind of hatred and bias, they would have made shitty hunters, anyway.” 

The ‘shoot first, ask questions later’ mentality was one of the worst kinds to have in his line of work. And Zero would know—he’s been there himself, and it has gotten him in trouble several times.

“Isn’t that rather hypocritical of you?” Kaname questions with no small amount of bitterness to his tone. “You were the one who all but insinuated that my kind was responsible for the attack on the Headquarters in the first place, placing blame on our shoulders. Yet now you speak as if you, yourself hold no hatred towards vampires.”

Zero steps back from his reach, running a hand through his hair to calm his nerves. This time he stares up into Kaname’s face, witnessing the pureblood’s struggle to remain impassive though he knows how angry he was with Zero’s actions that night. “It does sound like that.” He admits. 

“But it wasn’t just about placing the blame on vampires. You have to understand that most hunters aren’t exactly fond of vampires and with the bomb going off they would have taken revenge into their own hands eventually. And who do you think they would have gone after?”

Kaname keeps silent at the rhetorical question, but gestures for Zero to continue.

“They would have attacked an innocent vampire. And then the council would have been free to declare a breach of the treaty by making up some bullshit about how I ordered the attack or whatever else they could dream up. We both know the council excels at making up lies.” The hunter explains.

“And with your actions, they cannot do so now. Because you could claim that in such an event the hunter betrayed their own kind as well by disobeying your orders.” Kaname finishes for him, his muscles still tight with anger. Though he’s unsure at whether it’s directed at his mate for not telling him or himself for failing to notice the reasoning behind Zero’s actions. 

“Exactly,” Zero confirmed, watching the anger fade from Kaname’s form. He couldn’t much take issue when he had done near the same thing years ago after a trio of hunters out on patrol were slain by an overzealous vampire. 

The pureblood grabs his wrist to pull him in closer once more, pressing a delicate kiss to his mate’s lips before Zero can protest. “I do wish you would have told me.” He murmurs against pink lips, still tasting of fresh blood. 

“So do I,” Zero confesses, leaning forward to wrap his arms around the brunette’s neck and drag Kaname down into another kiss when he pulls away. It makes his chest ache, more than he cares to admit, thinking Kaname is angry with him. And it isn’t only because of the mating bond still lingering between them.

Zero pulls apart from the kiss to lean his head on Kaname’s shoulder, inhaling the rich, earthy scent that lingers beneath the spicy cologne. He’s always loved Kaname’s smell. Not that he can explain why only that it’s comforting and grounding. Like coming home after a long day. “Hell, maybe I did do the wrong thing. I might have fucked things up entirely.”

If anything, what happened that night proved that attitudes towards the vampires were far from improving. That thought makes his heart drop like a heavy stone into his stomach. 

Kaname hums and wraps an arm around his mate’s slender waist. “I don’t think you made a mess of anything. You made the best decision you could, given the circumstances. That’s all any of us can do.”

“I-“ Zero’s shoulders fell despite his throat tightening. “You might be right.”

“That’s not all though, is it?” Kaname presses and this time his eyes dig into Zero, taking him apart with their gaze. “There’s something you’re not telling me.”

“No.” Zero replies too fast. 

The pureblood narrows his gaze in response, hating that Zero feels the need to keep things from him.

Zero winces at the flicker of hurt in his mate’s eyes. _Damn it._ He realizes that if he doesn’t want Kaname to keep secrets from him, that has to go both ways. The hunter takes a deep, shuddering breath. “I just had a minor panic attack, okay? Just- there’s been so much happening lately that it was too much.”

“Minor?”

“I er- may have hyperventilated and passed out for a few minutes,” Zero elaborates.

“That does not sound ‘minor.’” Kaname points out dryly.

“Okay, maybe not. But I’m fine now, I swear.”

“You’re sure?”

Zero all but rolls his eyes. “Yes, I’m sure.”

A second later he’s enveloped in the pureblood’s arms as though Kaname fears he will disappear. The pureblood lets out an annoyed growl that’s likely due to smelling unknown blood on his mate. Strangely enough, Zero finds he doesn’t mind the whole thing that much. On the contrary, his chest grows warm beneath the grip of his mate locked around him. 

“Were you ever going to tell me this little detail?”

“Uh- yes?” The warm breath on Zero’s ear sends a shiver up his spine and is making it damn hard to concentrate. “Technically, I did. Just now.”

Kaname hums and tightens his hold, a sharp tang of worry colors his scent and aura. Zero swallows around the sudden lump in his throat.

“Do you know how worried I was? _Nine_ calls, Zero.” _And at least twice that in texts if he remembered correctly._

“I- Fuck, I didn’t even think to check my phone. I’m sorry.” He runs a hand through silver locks. There’s a twinge of guilt in his chest at making his mate worry for him. _God, I’m a fucking asshole._

“I’ve seen the dark circles under your eyes and the way you’ve been acting. You haven’t been sleeping or eating. Even _Ren_ has taken notice.”

Zero’s heart drops to his feet. “Shit, really? Fuck I never meant for them to notice. It’s just- it’s been hard adjusting.”

There’s a deep answering rumble from the pureblood’s chest in response to his distress. Some tension begins to bleed out from Zero’s form, his head growing pleasantly light at the familiar scent of his mate. 

“I wish you would talk to me.” Kaname murmurs against his hair. “Ren and I were so worried, we thought something had happened to you.”

Zero sighs. “I’m sorry for worrying you guys.” He tries again. _For what it’s worth._ A yawn escapes him, and before he registers what’s happening, he finds himself hoisted up into strong arms.

“What the _fuck_?” He asks in a squeak, limbs instinctually flailing around in all directions as he attempts to free himself. Instead, he finds himself thrown over a broad shoulder.

“You’re tired,” Kaname responds as though he were stating the weather and Zero isn’t imagining the smugness in that tone. Gripping Zero tightly there’s a rush of wind before he finds himself standing in the hunter’s bedroom, depositing the still-protesting silver-haired man onto the sheets of the bed.

“I still have legs, dumbass.” Zero’s ears burn at being handled so delicately by the pureblood. For fuck’s sake, he’s not made of glass! _But you enjoyed having your mate’s arms around you, didn’t you?_ He chooses to ignore that little voice in the back of his head.

“Yes. But we both know you would have gotten distracted and stayed up for several more hours before allowing yourself the rest you need.” Kaname retorts with a raised brow, daring Zero to argue.

Zero’s mouth opens. And snaps closed. 

“I fucking hate it when you’re right.” He grumbles under his breath. Embarrassment stains his cheeks. How does Kaname still know so much about him after years apart? Is he _that_ predictable?

Although right now, his bed is incredibly soft beneath him. His exhaustion chooses that moment to make itself known, as another yawn escapes him and he’s finding it very hard to stay awake. He wants nothing more than to sink into the mattress and bury himself beneath the sheets.

“Not-“ Another huge yawn escapes him. “Not one goddamn word.” Zero hisses without much bite his words. A few seconds later sleep manages to claim him, along with an unmistakable press of warm lips to his forehead and long fingers caressing his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ffs, someone needs to tell Zero that is NOT how you dispose of biohazardous waste correctly. Smh.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero and Kaname have another date, thankfully free of any emergencies this time. Some angst, some fluff is had and these two dorks are still bad with dealing with feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the comments and kudos and bookmarks, I live for that constant Validation (tm) because I'm a needy bitch so I love you all and I'm so glad you're enjoying this story!
> 
> Special thanks to Love322 for all your comments - I always love reading them and they make my day every time! So glad you're enjoying this story and I really appreciate you taking the time to comment! <3

“This is nice,” Zero says. He leans back on his hands and watches the gleaming array of lights spread out amongst the blanket of night covering the city down below. “The city- it looks fucking small from up here though.”

Just a smattering of flickering lights in the darkened sky.

Beside him, Kaname chuckles lightly. Up here there’s no constant noise of cars or people chattering. Only the solid earth beneath the blanket upon the ground. He was surprised when Kaname asked him up here, given that moonlight picnics weren’t precisely the pureblood’s style. But it wasn’t a distasteful surprise.

“Are you certain you’re okay?”

The hunter huffs and gives a roll of his eyes, knowing his lover isn’t talking about the bruise on his cheek that healed some time ago. “It was just a panic attack. Jesus, Kaname I’m not made of fucking glass.”

“I didn’t mean it like that.”

“I _know,_ ” Zero assures him. “I know. But I’ve got some shit to work through on my own.If nothing else, the whole thing made me recognize that I’m majorly fucked up.”

Kaname frowns. “You aren’t.”

Zero gives him a look of disbelief, raises a brow. 

“Look at all that’s happened. I was just a kid when I got bitten by a vampire and grew up hating myself just like everyone around me. Hell, and if _that_ wasn’t awful enough, I started fucking the man who murdered my family and tore my life apart. I’m pretty that’s the definition of ‘fucked up.’” Zero finished with a weighty sigh. 

Kaname falls silent for a moment, his somber gaze flickering away from Zero to gaze out over the city. “You said you hated me once. Is that still true?”

“Yes. No. I-“ The hunter reached up to rake a hand through his hair. “I don’t- it’s complicated, okay? I can’t- I can’t forgive you, Kaname. But it’s not that simple.”

“I understand.” The pureblood whispers into the biting, crisp air no matter how much it stings to admit that.

“Give me some space to think. I need some time to sort things out,” Zero says, needing to fill the air between them. He doesn’t have the vaguest clue what he feels for the other man. Love or hate or something in-between. It’s one huge blur.

Zero can’t help the frustration that rages inside of him at the widening gap which stretches between them, but he isn’t positive how to fix this. He isn’t sure if he wishes to fix this. Perhaps they have been doomed from the start.

Kaname glances at the silvery-haired man across from him and wonders how it came to this. An absurd question, given he knows the responsibility rests with himself. But something in his chest breaks every time Zero pulls away from him. 

Kaname stops himself for reaching for his mate because maybe this punishment what he deserves. He’d give everything to have Zero back again. But not if Zero will only hate himself for it.

“Asato Ichijo is dead,” Zero says instead. He needs to talk of something else right now. _Anything_ else. “Every single one of his staff too.”

Kaname expected to feel a stab of mourning for the man who’d all but raised him after Haruka and Juri’s demise, but it never comes. “How?”

“Well, that’s the thing. We don’t _know._ No one does. I thought I sensed the vaguest traces of magic around the body but- I’m not a witch so I can’t be certain. And now the _vampires_ are furious because they say one of us hunters did it in retribution for the assault on the headquarters.”

“What do you think? You suspect someone murdered him?” Kaname questions, catching a wandering strand of white hair and push it behind Zero’s ear. The hunter swats his hand aside with an annoyed flush to his cheeks.

“I don’t know anymore.”

“How did he die?”

“Honestly, it’s _bizarre._ There were no wounds or markings. It’s like he just- _dropped_ dead one night, out of nowhere.”

Kaname hums under his breath. “It's possible someone killed him to cover their tracks.” 

“Maybe,” Zero allows with a frustrated huff of breath. “We have no leads so far, and I want to fucking throw something at this point. I don’t understand how Cross did it. It’s been, what? A week? And already I need a fucking bottle of whiskey to deal with this shit. One thing right after another. It never _ends_.”

“I’m positive you’ll figure this out, Zero.”

The hunter snorted at that.

“You already suspect that the culprit was a witch. That is a start.” The pureblood offers.

“We have a dozen witches stationed in this county _alone_.” Zero counters with a raised eyebrow. There’s no way to tell whose magic it is without another witch. And knowing it was one of them, he couldn’t risk showing his cards by asking another witch to examine the body. Don’t get him wrong, he trusted Dahlia, but right now he couldn’t risk letting this slip to _anyone._

“Forget it,” Zero says. “I’m sorry for bringing up shit like this. You probably don’t want to talk about serious stuff on a date. Forget I said anything.”

The brunette gives a modest snicker. “Nonsense. I don’t care what we talk about, as long as I can hear your voice.”

Zero’s mouth goes dry. “Charmer.” He teases, even knowing that his cheeks are burning rosy red. He glances elsewhere. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

Kaname leaned forward with darkened eyes and a grin on his lips. In the blink of an eye, he rolls on top of the hunter, pinning the younger man beneath him. “Oh? I think it will get me _everywhere._ ”

_Fuck._ There’s a mischievous spark in Zero’s lavender eyes, daring the man above him. “What if I said you were right?” He purrs.

The pureblood’s tongue darts out to wet his lips as the hunter tips his head back, his throat burning as he lays eyes on the pale, unblemished flesh of Zero’s neck. His fangs aching to embed themselves in that delicate skin, to taste the sweet blood of his _mate_ once more.

But no. If- _when_ Zero returns to his side, he wants it to be of the hunter’s own accord. For now, he is content to delight in flustering the other man, watching his pale face flush from his words. 

Kaname bends down to kiss Zero, a rough groan escaping him as Zero’s tongue swipes along his lips. He groans as his mate licks into his mouth, entwining his hands in thick, brown strands as he tugs Kaname closer. They kiss sweetly for a few brief moments, slow and unhurried before the pureblood pulls away, noting with tremendous delight that Zero’s cheeks are flushed pink and there’s a glazed expression in his eyes.

The pureblood pulls back and simply takes his seat across from Zero on the blanket, calm, and collected save for his mussed hair.

“Shall we eat?” He asks, gesturing to the wooden basket sitting between them, forgotten.

The hunter blinks and shakes his head. “Hm? Oh, yeah- I guess we should.”

Zero unpacks the food from the basket. A bottle of wine, amongst a salad of juicy strawberries, cantaloupe, watermelon, and other fruits that glisten with fresh juice. Alongside the fruit salad is a pasta dish with a creamy white sauce and- is that _lobster?_ He also pulls out fluffy, golden rolls and a chocolate dessert.

He plucks one strawberry from the salad and pops it in his mouth, moaning low in his throat as the sharp flavor hits his tongue. “Did you make all of this yourself?”

Kaname stiffens at the question. “I er- may have had some help.”

Oh. _Oh._ Suddenly it was apparent what the pureblood is so perturbed about. 

“Kaname, you’ve proven to me you can drive. That doesn’t mean I expect you to understand how to do every damn thing yourself. You get that, right?” 

Those who are born vampires don’t _use_ their taste buds, despite possessing them, most rarely eat anything other than blood tablets and won’t touch human food. So more than not, a vampire’s cooking skills are nonexistent. He’d be more worried about potential poisoning if Kaname _did_ make this.

“I’m not confident I understand what you mean.” Didn’t Zero want him to prove himself? Wasn’t that why they agreed to take things slow?

Zero sighs. He isn’t great at this emotional shit. 

“Look. I hated it before because everywhere we went there was always someone watching us. Servants at the manor, guards while we were away and even in the car, we had that damn driver of yours! There wasn’t any time for _us._ You became so obsessed with expectations and how people saw you—saw _us._ When I just wanted _you_ , okay? I couldn’t have cared less about Kaname Kuran or his image. I just fucking wanted _Kaname_.” His voice shakes, and Zero hates it. There’s something freeing in getting it off his chest, but it leaves him feeling raw and exposed. Zero hates it.

Kaname doesn’t meet his eyes as Zero finishes speaking, but the hunter can see his shoulders fall as the tension leaves him. “I expect I never realized.”

“Yeah. You didn’t realize a _lot_ of things back then.”

“Yes.” The brunette concedes. “I am likewise aware now of how… possessive I was back then. Controlling. I dreaded someone taking you from me or that you’d decide to leave me. Somewhere along the way, I ignored that you were your own person.”

“And now?”

“Now, I recognize how misguided I was. Someone helped me recognize that the way I treated you was wrong, and that trust is a vital part of a relationship. I should never have allowed my desires to cloud my reason.”

Zero smirks. “You talked to Yuuki, didn’t you?”

“Why do you say that?”

“I recognize my sister’s comments.” Zero answers with a sardonic smile. “That, and she let it slip that had some choice words to say to you. I guessed she’d track you down sooner or later.” If there was one thing he had in common with his adoptive sibling, it would be their fiery tempers they shared.

“Yes, Yuuki had something to do with it,” Kaname confesses. “But I _am_ sorry. For my actions and the suffering, I caused you.”

Zero glances at Kaname, unsure of what he expects, considering Kaname has never been open about his emotions. The man is about as easy to read as a book written in ancient Latin. 

Only he doesn’t see the expected, blank closed off poker face the pureblood wears, no he sees _regret,_ raw and unbridled regret beneath guilt and sorrow writ across his mate’s features. Zero can’t help but gape in awe at the sight.

_I believe you_. Zero nearly says without meaning to. But he _does._ God help him, but he does. 

Then why can’t he say it? It’s just three measly words, and he can’t fucking _say them._ It’s impossible. There’s a painful knot in his throat, forbidding him from speaking.

The conversation dies like a smothered flame, and Zero instead shifts his focus to the food in front of him. He and Kaname devour the prepared meal in silence, only occasionally making small talk. The food is delicious, but Zero is a semi-retired hunter living in an apartment off pensions. It takes little to excite him. 

Soon enough, they fold away empty containers into the basket and settling back against the blanket with a glass of wine beside him. He can detect the faint coppery aroma of the blood tablet Kaname drops into his glass but isn’t as repulsed by that as he previously would have been.

There’re so _many_ stars. Having lived in the city for so long, Zero has forgotten what it’s like to watch the night sky lit up, unobstructed by clouds and pollution. It’s _breathtaking,_ thousands of twinkling lights amidst the swirling purples and blues encompassing the world above them. He can’t help but seem so small and inconsequential and he’s powerless to conclude if it’s a good or a bad thing. 

Without realizing it, he reaches out a hand, entwining his fingers with those of the pureblood beside him, part of him fears he’d float away without Kaname’s hand in his, anchoring him.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Kaname’s voice is quiet, scarcely more than a whisper. Unable to speak, Zero nods.

“I have always found the stars fascinating. Even before my slumber.” The pureblood admits. “I can recall wandering amongst the ruins of the old world, walking barefooted across the empty landscape. I saw buildings buried in sand or torn apart by nature, mutilated animals that were both unnerving and fascinating simultaneously. 

Humans were so busy fighting to tear each other down rather than lifting each other up amidst the anarchy. The days were sweltering and usually claimed many lives from the heat. And the nights were not generally better—with their biting cold that would eat away at one’s flesh, freezing them from the inside out. The stars never changed, even as everything around them did.”

“You can remember that far back?” Zero asks, unable to help himself. Kaname’s smile is dull.

“Occasionally, yes. Parts of it I can recall as if it was only yesterday. Other memories are… faint. Like a forgotten dream almost. My parents are of the latter. I cannot even recall the faces of my family anymore. My blood family that is, the ones I had before I became the pureblood I am today.” _This_ thing _I am. This creature._

Zero’s throat is tight. He can’t imagine such a thing, living so long and being helpless to even recall the faces of his parents, his brother. “You can’t remember them at all?”

“I think- I think I had a brother once. And an older sister. I can _sense_ them, somehow but anything about them, their faces, their names, alludes me.” At times he can sense their presence in his mind, continually lurking just out of his grasp and never lingering long enough to examine those ancient memories.

“I’m sorry.”

Kaname turns his head to glance at him then. “Don’t be. I cannot miss what I seldom even remember, now can I?”

Zero wants to protest that. But he doesn’t.

“I do not grieve for them anymore. I am certain they are at peace now.” Kaname assures him. “I met a woman once. When I was wandering in the desert somewhere, my throat burning with thirst and the sun scorching hot against my skin. She was wearing a hood and was riding atop either a camel or a horse— difficult to recall which. For a while, we became traveling companions.”

Zero pushes down the sharp bitterness in his heart at those words. “What was she like?” He bites out harsher than intended, jealousy sharpening his tongue.

“A lot like you. She was adamant about some things. Always logical, always thinking before doing. She always put others before herself, without fail. In many ways, she was the mother that I never had—or rather, the mother I could no longer remember. It was her who taught me what it truly meant to be a vampire. She instructed me how to feed without harming, how to walk in the sunlight and use my abilities. It was her who gave me the name ‘Kaname.’”

Why does the knot in his chest loosen after Kaname call that woman his mother? He can’t tolerate the thought of Kaname loving someone else in the way he cares for Zero, the very idea makes him want to growl and gnash his teeth. 

“What was her name?”

Kaname pauses, and the silence stretches on for so long Zero fears if perhaps he’s overstepped before the pureblood replies in a hoarse whisper. 

“I-I’m not sure. I can’t remember.” 

Zero’s heart breaks for Kaname, at the misery in the pureblood’s voice.

“It’s no matter.” Kaname insists. “She later went on to make the very first hunters, by feeding them near toxic quantities of her blood and using her heart to light the furnace.”

Zero sucks in a sharp breath beside him. “That’s… wow. Holy shit.”

Kaname chuckles. “She also taught me about something in the night sky called constellations.”

“Constellations?” The word is unfamiliar on his tongue.

Kaname nods then points up above them. “They’re shapes that people see in the stars. Do you see those stars, all grouped together?”

Zero squints up at the sky, tilting his head. He can somewhat see what Kaname means, if looked at the right way, he supposes they _do_ look like shapes. “I… guess? Yeah. I see them.”

“That one is Lupus. The wolf.”

For a moment, Zero wonders if the pureblood is joking. But Kaname has never been the type to joke, so it seems improbable that he would start now, even as strange as the entire concept seems to the hunter.

Finally, he gives up with a sigh. “That’s bullshit. How can anyone see a _wolf_ in a group of stars?”

“Perhaps it only requires a bit of imagination.”

He swats at the pureblood’s arm for that and watches the pureblood’s face light up with a teasing grin.

“I have plenty of imagination. You _ass!”_ He chides at Kaname’s amusement with no real bite to his tone. There’s a lightness to his body that Zero hasn’t encountered in ages, and he knows it isn’t only because of the alcohol either. It’s nice sitting and joke with the pureblood like this, almost like things were before- before their relationship fell apart.

Unbidden, a memory of a different time drifts into his mind.

_Zero sobs into the pillow. He’s trying to be quiet, he is, but even the soft surface does little to quell the intense, shaking cries that rip free from his throat. He hates this place. This stupid room, that loud girl and that crazy man. He wants his Mama and Papa and Ichiru. His teeth ache, and his throat is parched. He wants to go home._

_“Zero?” A gentle voice calls from the other side of the door, followed by a soft knock._

_“Go away!”_

_“Zero, are you okay?” It’s that foolish man again. He doesn’t like him. He needs his Mama and Papa. Another sob wretches free from his throat and he knows without a doubt that the man overheard him._

_“Zero, I’m coming in, okay?”_

_The doorknob turns and in the next second light from the hallway is bleeding through the open doorway into his gloomy room. Cross stands there in a pair of striped pajamas, his hair loose and free from his usual ponytail. The sight of him is another unpleasant reminder of Zero’s plight. The boy’s face crumples, fresh tears gushing down his cheeks._

_Through watery eyes, Cross is looking at him with a tender gaze. “Oh Zero,” He sighs, closing the door behind him and stepping further into the room._

_“Don’t touch me!” Zero warns, backing away on the bed as the man takes a seat on the edge of his mattress. Cross holds his hands up in surrender._

_“Okay, okay. I won’t touch you.” He says. “I know it must be hard, child. I’m so sorry you had to go through this.”_

_“You don’t understand. None of you do.” Zero insists, wiping at his nose with a glower._

_“Perhaps I can’t understand exactly what you’re going through now. But I lost my parents at a young age too. I know what it’s like.” Cross tells him. It’s common to meet orphans in his line of work. But it breaks his heart, observing the shattered boy in front of him sob and glare at him with such palpable distrust._

_“You did?”_

_“I did,” Cross confirms. “It’s not easy. But if you’d like I can tell you something to help you feel a bit better.”_

_Zero nods and Cross stands, crossing the room to the window. He parts the drapes to allow moonlight to peek through the glass panes, turning and gesturing for Zero to accompany him. The boy looks at him with a skeptical pout, fresh tears gleaming in his eyes. After a few seconds, he releases his hold on the pillow and hops down from the bed, walking over to stand beside the man._

_Cross crouches down on his knees and points towards the dark sky, alight with stars. “Do you see those stars?”_

_“Yes.”_

_“Your parents are up there now, with the stars. And they’re watching you every single day, Zero. Ichiru too. They’re always watching over you.”_

_The boy’s lip wobbles. “Really? You- you think so?”_

_Cross gives him a gentle smile. “I know so. They’re so proud of you, Zero and they love you so, so much. It’s okay to cry. But you should know how much they all love and miss you.”_

_“I-I love them too!” Zero insists, nearly panicking as he breaks down. “Do they know that?”_

_“I’m sure they do, Zero. You’re so brave.”_

_At that, Zero breaks down again, turning and gripping onto Cross’ shoulders as his tears soak into the fabric of the man’s sleep shirt. He carefully folds his arms around the child, holding him to his chest. He coos softly and rubs gentle circles into the child’s back as Zero lets himself sob and grieve._

_After a few moments, the boy’s tears dry, and he pulls back with a sniffle. He rubs at his eyes. “C-can I stay with you tonight?” He asks, ever cautious._

_“Of course, Zero.”_

“Something on your mind?” Kaname questions, bringing Zero back to the present. “Such an intense expression, surely you must be thinking about something.”

“It’s nothing,” Zero dismisses. It’s not that he’s against sharing things with Kaname, but this one memory he wants to keep to himself just a little while longer. 

There’s a heavy weight in the hunter’s chest as the vision dissolves, suddenly it seems so different with Cross in the hospital and the distance between them. A painful, jarring reminder of how happy things had been between Zero and his adoptive father once and all that had gone wrong since those peaceful days. And now he might never be able to make things right between them.

He’s relieved when the pureblood doesn’t press, and he leans up to press a kiss to Kaname’s lips in silent thanks. _No,_ Zero tells himself as he pushes memories aside. He’s having a wonderful time, with his mate on their date and he will not sully that by becoming absorbed in that deep dark place inside of him.

Zero lets his head lean on Kaname’s shoulder, and his eyes drift closed, a gratified smile curling at his lips when the pureblood reaches up to stroke at his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next Chapter: Zero finally pays a visit to his Father, whom he's been avoiding and makes a difficult decision in his life.
> 
>  
> 
> Love it? Hate it? Or just want to tell me about your day? Leave a comment and let me know! I promise I don't bite (unless you're into that)
> 
> Also, couldn't think of a title for this chapter so feel free to offer suggestions!


	12. Chapter 12: The price we pay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero is not having a fun time dealing with all the demons in his head and well, it shows.
> 
>  
> 
> Brief warning for discussions of past suicide attempt and depression in this chapter!

Zero shuts the door behind him and leans back against the solid wood. How many dates does this make now? Three? Four? And that isn’t counting the instances in which Zero counts on the pureblood to take Ren to school or pick them up. There might have been more dates if he wasn’t so busy taking up Cross’ duties. 

It seems so strange that it has been an entire six months nearly since he’d opened the door to the face of his ex-lover that one night. Six months since Kaname had come back and turned his life upside down.

_Fuck._ His head hits the solid surface behind him. He doesn’t know what to do. His head is a mess, his heart won’t stop jumping into his throat every time he lays eyes on his mate, and everything is so fucked it isn’t funny anymore.

He’d been glad the day he finally left all those years ago, glad for the chance to finally kiss that hellhole of a manor (prison) goodbye. A weight was lifted from his shoulders as he set foot outside for the first time in _months._ He’d left and never looked back. 

The hatred and resentment he still bears the pureblood fester inside of him like a disease. He hates him. _Oh,_ how he hates him. He wants to knock that smugness from his face and hurt him like he’d hurt Zero.

_He used you,_ a voice in his head whispers. But it is more than that. He murdered Zero’s entire family, turned his brother against him and is the very reason Zero is a level D. Nothing Kaname ever says or does can right those facts. Facts that Zero is forced to face and live with every single day. The first time he’d discovered Kaname had been the one responsible, he’d thrown up right then and there. Never had he felt so dirty, disgusting, humiliated. He’d been in bed with his parents’ _murderer_! 

He’d fallen in love with the very person who’d torn his life apart, and now history is repeating itself. 

No, this isn’t right. He doesn’t love Kaname anymore. He _doesn’t._ After what Kaname has done, how can he? 

But there is _something_ between them, lingering like a fucked-up red string of fate tying them together. Here he is betraying his very family who he’d sworn to avenge. Betraying _himself_ by getting back together with Kaname. Right after telling himself that no, he wouldn’t go back to Kaname, that he refused to go down this road again.

He doesn’t love Kaname anymore. He can’t. _Now if only I could convince myself of that._

When Zero was a child, his Father—his biological father that is, before he’d been killed, had read Zero and Ichiru fairytales sometimes. Ichiru’s favorite had been _Beauty and the Beast,_ though Zero didn’t understand why Belle would continue to go back to someone who had hurt her so much.

_“Love is more complicated than what it seems, Zero.”_

And okay, he is beginning to see what his Father had meant when he said that.

Finally, he hefts himself up and quietly walks to his room. It’s like Zero is moving on autopilot as he moves through his nightly routine before crawling into bed as the day dawns outside. 

Wide-awake he stares blankly at the ceiling.

There is a layer of dirt on his skin. A filth that he’ll never be able to wash off. His fingernails bite into the flesh of his arms and leave bloody crescents in their wake. 

_Traitor._

Behind closed eyes, he sees the bruised, bloodied faces of his parents. Red spilling beneath their limp forms and draining into the floorboards below. He sees their eyes, wide open and unseeing, and their limbs bent the wrong way. Ichiru’s hateful sneer and eyes that lack any emotion. The sound of his brother’s blade echoes in his ears. His blood, the bitter taste lingering on Zero’s tongue.

He bends over the side of his bed, retching onto the floor below. Oh god, what has he _done?_ Has he really been considering fucking that murderer? His parents would hate him if they could see him now.

His gaze flickers up to the mirror and Zero stiffens at his own reflection. 

Skin clings to sunken cheekbones, and his clothing hangs off his thin form. Even his silver strands have faded to a dull gray. There is nothing present in his eyes, just as Ichiru’s had been. A new wave of sickness washes over him at the sight of what he knows to be a memory.

_“Liar.”_ His reflection hisses at him. 

Zero raises his hands to cover his ears, knowing how useless it is. _Liar liar liar._ He told himself he’d never go back, never again fall for his pretty lies. People like Kaname never change. 

But he can’t let go. _Damn him,_ but he can’t let go of Kaname.

He remembers a different pureblood. A Kaname who would spend hours just sitting with him, beneath one of the large trees on the Academy’s campus, putting his head on Zero’s lap to take a nap while the hunter continued reading, unbothered by his antics. A Kaname who couldn’t resist rising to his insults with teasing that bordered on flirtatious more often than not. Back before he knew what a monster laid beneath his pretty, pretty face.

He loves him. He hates him. He doesn’t know which to believe, and it’s tearing his mind apart. Kaname is a drug that he’ll never be rid of.

_Damn him. Damn them both._

Zero suffers through a day of restless tossing and turning. Haunted by dreams of corpses and memories better off forgotten. Familiar faces plague his nightmares, but the most frightening ones are those featuring a garnet-eyed, brunette pureblood with a sick, twisted obsession which he calls ‘love.’

He’s sure Ren can tell that something is off with him. The dark bags beneath his eyes and the sluggishness of his movements are proof enough of that. But the teenager mentions nothing as the tired silver-haired hunter drops them off in front of the school like usual that night.

Yet, as he pulls away from the gates, he doesn’t go home. Instead Zero pulls into the parking lot of the hospital. He only realizes what he’s done when he parks the vehicle and looks up at the lights filtering out from windows above him. What the fuck is he doing here?

He’s been avoiding this, ever since that night when he got the call from Yuuki and came rushing over here. Though it’s hard to say why. Things between him and Cross have been… well, less than good lately. Cross never listens to him, and Zero usually just ends up stomping out in a fit of rage. 

Not that he’s ever been particularly close to the eccentric man, mind you. But for the past few years, he’s seen Cross a handful of times, and that is being generous.

Before he can stop himself, Zero walks into the building, pressing the buttons on the elevator. His feet carry him without him even noticing, really. He fixes a few of the staff with polite, forced smiles as they pass and wanders the bland hallways that all look the same with relative ease. It’s not long before he finds himself standing in front of a wooden door with the number ‘306’ on a large plaque beside in on the wall.

He isn’t ready.

As soon as he opens the door, it’s very clear that he is not _fucking_ ready for this. The room is a small thing, with calming blue walls. The constant humming and buzzing of machines are the only sounds filling the air.

Zero takes a deep breath and exhales, shaky. Cross is just _lying_ there on the white sheets with a blanket pulled over him and the blue edges of a hospital gown covering his shoulders. Gone are his usual glasses. He looks pale and bruised and bandaged. There’s no goofy smile to light up his face this time. A far cry from the skillful, yet kind-hearted hunter that Zero has always known him to be. Something in the silver-haired man’s chest aches.

He takes a seat in the plastic chair at Cross’ bedside, a bit stiff in his movements. 

“Hey, Pops. I uh- I’m going to level with you, I’m not sure if you can hear me or not. I wasn’t really listening all that much to what the doctor told us.” Zero begins. There’s something awkward and intrusive about speaking to someone like this, not being able to tell if they can hear you or not, not knowing what they would say if they could respond. 

“I know things have been pretty shit between us lately.” To put it mildly. “I’m- sorry about that. And for once that isn’t bullshit. I know I said some things I shouldn’t have, and you probably know I didn’t mean it but- that doesn’t excuse it. I was in a really fucking bad place. Less so now, but… still there.”

“To be honest, I’m sure that I’m probably not the kid you want to see most, anyway.” 

It’s no secret that Yuuki has always been the favorite child. The one to be doted upon, fretted upon. Zero was mostly just _there_. There has always been distance between him and Cross. It’s part of the reason he’d refused to call the man Father for many, many years. Toga is more his father than Cross ever was. 

But it wasn’t always this bad. There have been good moments as well, here and there.

_Zero’s eyes widened at the gleam of metal, and he cautiously ran a finger along the cold surface, feeling the grooves of writing beneath his fingertips. “Is this really mine?”_

_Cross nodded. “Yes, it’s really yours. The President and Toga agreed with me that it’s time to put that training of yours to good use.”_

_He sucked in a breath and slowly lifted it, testing its weight. It was heavier than he expected. “But I’ll still continue my training, right?”_

_“Yes.” Cross’s smile faded somewhat as his expression grew intense, serious. “However, Zero I need you to remember something for me before I give you this.”_

_“Okay.”_

_“Do not ever put your finger on the trigger unless you are ready to kill someone and fully comprehend what that means. It doesn’t matter if you are the best sharpshooter in the world. Your finger should never touch that trigger if you do not intend to kill.” Cross spoke with a heavy voice. The voice of Kaien Cross, the hunter, not Kaien Cross the parent. Behind his glasses, his sharp eyes dug a hole into Zero. “Do you understand?”_

_Those words were heavy, branded into his memory. Cross was serious when he spoke, and there wasn’t a single doubt in Zero’s mind that he wouldn’t take the weapon back if the younger hunter disobeyed. He gave a jerky nod._

_“Yes. I understand.”_

There’s an IV hooked up to Cross’ arm and a breathing tube inserted into his nose. Along with several other things that _look_ technical but Zero hasn’t the faintest idea of what the fuck they do. It’s so jarring, seeing the proud and lively man reduced to this.

“Damn it, Cross. We tried to tell you something like this shit would happen. _All_ of us did.” He sighs out, dropping his head into his hands. His heart aches after seeing his Pops like this. Even if a part of him still refuses to believe that Cross ever cared about him like this. 

He never cared about the daily harassment that Zero faced from the vampires. He never cared about Zero’s reaction to the blood tablets until _Yuuki_ was hurt as a result. He’d never cared about Zero’s tendency to isolate himself and shove others away until _Yuuki_ found him bleeding out in the bathtub. None of it had ever mattered to the other man. Not even when Zero was locked away for weeks in a psych ward on a suicide hold with twin bandages wrapped around the scars running down the length of his forearms.

He knows that he’ll never be the favorite child. He’ll never be treated with as much worth as Yuuki. But he can’t help but crave the older man’s affection even now that he may never get it.

“Why didn’t you _listen_?” Zero questions the silent room. “Because of that ridiculous idea of yours? People are _dead,_ Cross. Is that what you wanted? People are dead, and the hunters and vampires are blaming each other.” Hell, he doesn’t think it has ever been this bad. “And you made me acting President? What the fuck was that shit? I don’t know shit about how to lead the hunters!”

It’s so much easier. Being angry. Easier to yell and shout than to be vulnerable and _weak._

“I didn’t ask for this.” He mutters. But since when does anyone ever care what _he_ wants?

Honestly, he feels no better after speaking. People love to boast about how ‘healing’ it is to talk things out and how ‘comforting’ it can be to talk to a loved one in a coma as though they’re listening. Zero feels none of that. If anything, he is more pissed off than before. At Cross for not listening, for always putting Yuuki before him. 

~~__~~ _Why wasn’t I ever good enough? What did I do that made me so undeserving?_

Zero stands and stretches. It’s nearly morning now, and he can’t waste any more time here even if he wants to. He’s got things to-

The door opens quietly. Yet, where Zero expects to see Yuuki standing is none other than Kaname. If the pureblood is shocked, he does well to hide it. 

“Zero,” He greets. “My apologies, I wasn’t aware you were visiting tonight. I can return at a later time if you’d prefer.”

“It’s fine, I was just leaving.” He brushes off. Although, maybe this is the chance he needs to sort out his feelings for the pureblood. There’s quite a lot they need to talk about—topics Zero has very much been avoiding. “Actually, I was wondering if you’d like to go grab a coffee.”

At that the pureblood’s brows raise, and he’s unable to do much but stand in the doorway, blinking. He recovers quickly enough. “That sounds lovely.”

The warmth seeping through the surface of the flimsy mug does little to quell Zero’s nerves. His feet scuff against the cement sidewalk that he keeps his eyes glued to. “What are we doing?” He asks in a sigh.

“Well I may be wrong, but I think we’re having coffee.” Kaname oh-so-helpfully offers.

“Haha,” The hunter deadpans with a roll of his eyes. “Not what I meant, and you know it.”

Kaname hums. “Do I?”

Zero sighs. He’s been doing a lot of that lately. It’s all just so much to deal with. At home, a new orange bottle of pills and the therapy he’s begun has been helping but… these things take time. No sickness gets better overnight. He’s just so damn _tired_ of it all.

“What do you want us to be?” The pureblood asks him, eyeing the silver-haired hunter as they walk.

Whoa. Pump the fucking breaks. Kaname Kuran giving a shit about what he wanted? Zero pinches himself to make sure he isn’t dreaming. Spoiler: he isn’t. 

“I don’t know.” He settles on. “I don’t know how to deal with you, Kaname. Fuck, my head is a mess with all of this.”

“Take your time.”

“You killed my family. Whether intentional or not, it was still your fucking actions that led to their death.” 

It’s so good to finally give voice to the thoughts that have been plaguing him for god-knows how long. He shut his eyes and took a sip of his coffee. A pleasant shiver rolls down his spine as the sweet warmth hits his tongue. “How do I forgive you for that?”

“You’re right. And… you don’t. I used to believe that everything I did; all my actions could be excused if only because I had done them with Yuuki in mind. But- I realize that is no longer the case. You do not owe me forgiveness, Zero. Much as I may desire it, such is not my decision to make.”

“Boy, you’ve changed.” The Kaname he knows would never have said such a thing. Hell, he wouldn’t have even apologized in the first place.

“We both have.”

Well duh. That’s how life is. People change as they grow and experience new things, meet new people, form new opinions on things. It’s simply the way of things. No one would grow if no one changed.

They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over, expecting different results. Is that what he is doing? Expecting different results while traveling down the same path he’s gone down before? 

When an obstacle blocks your path, you can choose to face it in several ways. You can go around it sometimes. Or turn back. Or go through. But the first step is always to face it before you can decide what to do about it.The words of his therapist echo in Zero’s mind. _Turn and face your past, Zero. If you don’t, it will never stop following you._

He can’t keep running forever. He isn’t strong enough.

“Why did you do it?” Zero questions. 

He doesn’t want to hear the answer or relive his memories of that night. But he has to. Much as he may not want it, he needs closure. Both of them do, he suspects. They cannot change the past, but he deserves to know why damn it! Why his family had to pay the price for some fucking arrogant pureblood’s whims. 

Kaname is quiet for some time. Slowly they make their way down the streets, through rushing workers and idling people dragging their feet. 

“I was… curious.” He says eventually. “I’d never seen a mad pureblood before and there she was, locked in a cage. I wanted to see what she would do if let free.”

Zero takes a moment to absorb those words. “So, you didn’t do it knowing she would go after my family?”

“A part of me suspected. I won’t lie to you about that much, Zero. But, the Kiryuus were known far and wide as legendary hunters. At that time, I didn’t think much of anything could stop them—even a mad pureblood princess.”

The silver-haired hunter takes a shaky sip of his now lukewarm coffee. Kaname didn’t do it on purpose. That revelation is a blow to his chest. Kaname could be lying, but something tells Zero that isn’t the case. Kaname wouldn’t lie to him, least of all about this, not when he’d been trying so hard to win Zero’s trust back.

Is any of it really Kaname’s fault? Yes, he opened the cage and let the woman free. But he hadn’t been the one to kill her mate. His claws hadn’t been the ones that cut into his parents’ flesh. He certainly hadn’t been the one to disappear with his brother for nearly a decade. But then he had been the one to open Shizuka’s cage. So, doesn’t he at least share part of the blame?

“Do you regret it?”

“I regret the pain my actions have brought you and always will, Zero. But I do not regret that it led you to me.”

Zero barks out a harsh bark of laughter. “Selfish bastard.” There’s no real venom to his words though. He’s too tired to put any bite in them.

“Yes,” Kaname confesses.

“And what about me? The way you treated me? You treated me like some fucking doll!” Zero spits. “You kept me on a leash like a dog rather than your mate.”

“A pureblood’s love is a twisted, dark thing, Zero. Some are better at controlling such emotions than I.”

“Oh no, you fucking, don’t!” Zero snaps, stopping in his tracks to jab a finger at the brunette’s chest. “You do not get to blame this on being a fucking pureblood! Yuuki doesn’t act like this with Yori. This is all you, Kaname.”

“As I said, some are better at controlling such thoughts.” Kaname reiterates. “And I… I do not have experience with affection, Zero. I did not understand my emotions or how to deal with them. I am unaccustomed to expressing affection.”

The hunter reels back, stunned. Yet the more he thinks about it, the more it strangely begins to make some sort of twisted sense. 

This is a 10,000-year-old vampire in front of him. It isn’t farfetched to imagine that he’d forgotten how to express those emotions if he ever knew how in the first place. Does it excuse any of it? Hell no. Kaname’s actions were abuse, there is no way of sugarcoating that. But at least he knows why now.

Fuck. It’s as though he’s seeing the pureblood beside him for the first time. His hatred and resentment still linger but, faintly now. He’s struggling to reconcile the man before him with Kaname. So many revelations in one day. Anyone would struggle to deal with it all.

Kaname reaches out towards his face with a frown marring his features. Before he even knows what he's doing, Zero flinches away from the touch.

“Zero?”

“I- I’m sorry. Just. Fuck. This is a fucking lot.” Zero says, stepping away. “Look, I’m sorry, but I need some-some time to think and deal with this fucking shit. I just can’t right now, Kaname.”

He backs away and turns his back on the pureblood before rushing away. He drops his now-empty cup in a trashcan and really fucking hopes Kaname knows better than to follow him. He needs some time alone.

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13: Moving Forward

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero finally talks with an old friend about his problems and catches up with Ruka, Takuma and Aidou over drinks. They're interrupted by an uninvited guest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I'm still amazed at how much you guys like this story so far! As always, thank you for all the kudos and comments <3!
> 
>  
> 
> (Now, who is paying for my dental bill? Cause writing all this fluff gave me cavities)

Try as he might, Zero can’t stop _thinking._ About Kaname, about that night underneath the stars. In his chest, his heart gives a leap at the memory. No matter what he does, the face of his mate keeps drifting to the front of his mind annoyingly, refusing to focus on anything else. _I’m so fucked, aren’t I?_

His breath left his lungs in a whoosh of air as a foot connects harshly with his stomach. He grips onto the thick, combat boot and swings his attacker ‘round with all of his strength, sending the woman flying through the air, before sliding into a crouch as she connects with the floor, effortlessly recovering from the blow. A cocky smirk covers her chapped lips, and she wipes the sweat from her dark skin with a challenging glint in her eyes. 

“That all you got?”

Zero snarls and dashes forward, his right fist meeting her jaw before her hands grab his waist and _throw_ him over her head. Pain shoots through his back as he hit the mat _hard_. Zero recovers quickly and rolls to the side, swiping a leg out and connecting with the woman’s knees. She fell to the floor with a grunt.

There is a crowd of onlookers around them. Curious observers lingering outside of the matted floor and leaning over the railing on the observation deck above them. He can hear them snicker and whisper at the fight he is putting up. They aren’t at all subtle in their glances.

By now both fighters are panting heavily. Sweat stuck to their skin and dampens their clothes. Zero’s hair stuck to his face in gross, wet clumps. He staggers a bit as he stands, heart pounding in his chest. Compared to him, the woman looks nearly untouched. Her dark, tightly coiled curls of hair sprung with her every movement, and her breathing is calmer than the silver-haired hunter’s short, uneven gasps.

She leaps up from the floor and remains still for a moment, assessing her opponent. She moves, racing past Zero, slamming her elbow into the middle of his back before turning and bringing a foot forward into his shoulder blades. 

He lets out a curse, staggering forward before turning to face the woman once more. A sharp uppercut hits him in the jaw. His foot weakly kicks at the woman’s stomach, but she brings a knee up sharply into his groin, that has him seeing stars.

Zero collapses to the ground as white-hot pain shoots through his body. The woman hovers over him, placing a foot on his chest.

He relaxes against the solid cushion beneath him. “I yield, I yield.”

The woman’s shoulders slump with either relief or disappointment, and an eyebrow rises at him. The weight of her foot disappears from her chest before she offers a hand to the man below her. He grips it, allowing her to hoist him off of the mat.

“Mind telling me what _that_ was?” She demands as she stalks off to grab two bottles of clear water, shoving one at Zero’s chest. “You’re off your game. Why?”

Zero sighs, ignoring his friend in favor of chugging down the water offered to him. “It’s a long fucking story, Dahlia.”

“Zero, love. I wasn’t even using my magic in that fight, and I had you down, flat in less than ten minutes.” Dahlia says, folding her arms after wiping the sweat from her forehead with a towel. “The Zero I know was better than that. Something is eating at you, and I want an explanation.”

Dahlia is someone Zero had known since he was a child. They’d been friends for _years._ He couldn’t lie to her, it wouldn’t be right and well- it might be good to talk about Kaname with someone who wasn’t friends with the pureblood or related to him.

“Clear out!” He calls, looking over his shoulder. The onlookers still linger to gossip and talk about their president who’d just gotten his ass kicked, they glance up at the sound of his voice. “Are you deaf now? Get the fuck out!” He repeats.

The lingering hunters scramble to comply, filtering out the doors to get away from the angering president. Zero might have a bit of a temper. 

With everyone gone, Dahlia crosses her arms where she stands while Zero takes a seat on one of the benches. 

“It’s Kaname.”

“Ah, your boy toy. I should have assumed he’d have something to do with this.” She mutters knowingly. Call her biased, but she doesn’t have the highest opinion of the man given what she knows of him and how he’d treated her friend. “Well? You’re going to have to be a tad more descriptive than that, love.”

Zero takes a breath before telling her. He told her of the last conversation he’d had with his estranged mate that was nearly three weeks ago now. He mentions how shocking it was to learn the truth, how Kaname wasn’t _truly_ to blame for his parents’ deaths and how utterly gut-wrenching it had been to see the regret in his eyes when Zero talks of how much Kaname’s past actions had hurt him. 

“I don’t know what to do, Dahl. I can’t- I hated him for so long because of what he did. I don’t think I know how to forgive him anymore.”

“You need to learn to forgive yourself first, love,” Dahlia offers gently as she fastens a black-banded necklace around her neck. It is the one identifying item most witches are never caught without.

“What?”

“Zero, it sounds like you’re blaming yourself because you believed you’d fallen in love with the man who you deemed responsible for your parents’ deaths. You’re afraid because you think you’re betraying them and your brother.” She doesn’t even bother phrasing it as a question. “Forgive _yourself,_ Zero. That’s the first step, dear heart.”

Zero frowns at her words. Sometimes he hates her. Usually, because she’s right. “What do I do about- about before? I can’t go through that again, Dahl. I’m fucking terrified of trusting him now.”

“Now _that,_ I’m afraid I can’t help you with much.” She answers with a light shrug and a sympathetic flash of teeth. “Sometimes people change, sometimes they don’t. Only you can be the one to judge that, love. But trust has to be earned. It may take days or years even, but trust takes time for someone to earn. Never give it freely.”

“And what if I never do grow to trust him again?” He is so scared of facing that prospect.

“Then, you don’t. What happens after that is up to you.” Dahlia shrugs.

“I _hated_ him. Who am I without that hatred?” Zero questions quietly. He doesn’t know how to let go of it.

“You’re Zero Kiryuu, same as you’ve always been,” Dahlia states with firm conviction in her voice. “It might not be easy to let go of that hatred. I’ve been there. But it’s worth it, love. Your past does not define you. Don’t make the mistake of letting this hatred rule you.”

He let out a small chuckle. “I really fucking hate it when it seems like you know me better than _I_ know me.”

“Well, I have to do _something_ with those psychology degrees of mine.”

Zero snorts and shakes his head. “I feel… something for Kaname. I don’t know what. I don’t _think_ I hate him anymore, but I don’t trust him either. Hell, I wouldn’t be avoiding him right now if I did.” There is an unspoken, _but I want to,_ sitting between them. “Maybe I should just call it quits.”

Dahlia forces down the sigh in her throat. For how smart and intelligent her friend is, Zero is awfully dense at times. He can read a thousand equations and not understand the most basic of emotions sometimes. It is baffling. But she smiles patiently at him and leans forward.

“Love, it sounds like you would have already broken things off if you wanted to.” After all, this _is_ Zero. He never shies away from voicing his opinion before or straight out defying any orders he wishes.

“I-“ Zero stops himself upon realizing that he doesn’t have a response to Dahlia’s words. They aren’t far from the truth. 

These past few weeks he’d spent with Kaname, were the happiest Zero has been in a long while. He’d laughed and smiled with the pureblood. When Cross had been hospitalized, he thought that the only thing keeping him sane had been the presence of Kaname, right there beside him. The past three weeks have been hell without the brunette there beside him.

“God, I’m scared of how difficult it’ll be. It won’t be easy, and I-” Zero mutters, more to himself than the witch. Even without all the extra baggage, he is still a hunter and Kaname a pureblood. There will always be someone who has a problem with that.

Dahlia snickers and steps closer to sling an arm around her friend’s shoulders. “Oh love, the best things never are. Now, are we still on for drinks tonight? Because I think you could use a few.”

 

 

Dahlia holds down a snarl the moment she enters the bar. Everything is shiny and sleek, all high-tech and innovation. A drink in this place is probably an entire day’s worth of meals. Of _course,_ they would choose this place. Fucking nobles, thinking they are above everyone.

She really hopes one of them is buying.

The witch trails after Zero, following him through the sparsely populated place to a booth. Immediately she spies two blonde men and a shorter woman, whose hair is a light strawberry blonde sitting and conversing with one another. Beneath her leather jacket, she can’t help the way she bristles at the sight. _Vampires._

“Don’t.” Zero mutters, gripping her arm. Dahlia blinks as she realizes her fingers are sparking. The sparks disappear immediately.

“Right. Sorry. _Hunter_ and all that.” It isn’t as though Zero doesn’t understand after all.

The woman notices her first as she approaches the booth, raising her slim brows in surprise and stiffening slightly at the sight of another hunter. Just like Dahlia, it’s in her nature. It doesn’t last more than a few seconds. That one moment where they assess one another, seeing if the other poses a threat.

The woman doesn’t deem her a threat, as she relaxes into a soft smile. “You must be Zero’s friend.”

“Dahlia, at your service.”

“Ruka,” The woman introduces, scooting closer towards the wall in invitation for Dahlia to take a seat. 

As she does so, the witch glances at the other two vampires joining them this evening. One with green eyes who shares Ruka’s natural smile and the blue-eyed blonde that’s currently looking up at her from beneath his lashes with a flirty smirk tugging at his lips. She takes the seat beside Ruka and Zero wedges in beside her.

“Takuma,” Mr. Green-eyes introduces.

“You can call me Aidou.” The other one says with a wink and in a voice that probably sends other women swooning. Dahlia only twinges slightly in discomfort as she fixes them both with a polite smile.

“Hey Rook,” Zero greets the woman on Dahlia’s other side. If the other two are offended that he only greets Ruka, they don’t show it. Not that he and Takuma don’t get along fine, but they’re not exactly best friends. 

And Aidou? Well, it’s _Aidou_. That speaks volumes in and of itself.

“Finally deigned to pull yourself away from that desk of yours, I see,” Ruka hums with a raised brow. “Really, Zero, are you sure there’s nothing you’re keeping from us? We hardly see you anymore.” She continued.

“Like a _lover,_ maybe?” Aidou teases with a suggestive raise of his brows.

“Oh no, I’ve been found out,” Zero drawls in the driest tone he can muster with a roll of his eyes.

“Aidou is only teasing, Zero. I’m sure he meant no offense.” Takuma interjects. Always trying to soothe tensions before things escalate any further. And with Zero and Aidou in the same room, that often-meant fists could be flying in a matter of seconds.

“Honestly, stop poking your nose into others’ business, Aidou.” Ruka chastises. _That man never learns._ She turns back to Zero, recognizing the line of a very sensitive subject they are walking and hoping to avoid it. “How is Ren, Zero? It’s been such a long time since I saw them.” 

“They’re fine. Doing well in school, causing trouble. The usual.”

Dahlia snickers quietly. “Ah yes, that doesn’t sound familiar at all.”

“You did have something of a rebellious streak when we were younger,” Ruka concurs with a secretive grin in Dahlia’s direction, before gasping softly as the pendant around Dahlia’s neck caught her eye. A small but gorgeous thing with swirling bits of gold on black. “I’ve seen that pendant before. You’re a witch!” She notes with excitement.

“That I am.” Dahlia answers with a swell of pride at the admiration in the vampire’s voice.

Aidou seems to be genuinely interested at that, eagerly leaning forward across the small table. “You’re a _witch?_ But, I thought you were all-“

“Dead?” She supplies. “Most of us are. The previous President of the hunters before Cross wasn’t fond of witches and as such, had most of them hunted down and killed. As for the rest of us? Well, even some of us who were smart enough to run didn’t make it. Magic takes a lot of energy to use. Thus our lifespans are rather short as a result. Any witch is lucky if they live until fifty.”

Aidou casts his glance down at the cocktail in front of him, sensing that he’d touched on a sensitive subject. Ruka frowns in what might or might not be sympathy. At least she doesn’t apologize though, Dahlia counts that as a win.

“So, Dahlia. You’re friends with Zero. How did you two meet?” Takuma questions in a smooth change of subject.

“Dahl and I go way back,” Zero says, he grabs one of the shots on the table and knocks it back without so much as a flinch. “My parents were friends with her folks. So, we spent a lot of time together, training and pouring over textbooks.”

“For a long while, they were adamant that I was going to end up marrying one of the twins,” Dahlia adds with a chuckle. “Boy did _they_ end up shocked.”

A sudden silence falls over the table before any of the confused vampires can ask her to elaborate. She watches Takuma and Aidou’s eyes widen like they’ve seen a ghost. Dahlia straightens. Just what-

“Hello,”

Zero looks up in surprise at the sound of Kaname’s voice. The pureblood stands over them in a dark suit. He smiles, but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes—both of which are locked firmly on Zero and Zero only.

The hunter stares down at the dark liquid of his drink, as blood rushes through his ears. He wonders if the vampires can all hear his heart thumping loud as a drum in his chest right now.

“K-Kaname?” Aidou questions. His words are echoed by Takuma while Ruka only holds a hand over her gaping mouth.

“What are you doing here?” Zero asks in a low hiss. The alcohol is the reason his mouth is so dry right now. Definitely the alcohol.

“I figured that it might be nice to catch up with my friends,” Kaname replies in a completely innocent tone. “Why is there a problem with that?”

A shudder rolls down Zero’s spine as the familiar scent of Kaname’s cologne reaches him. “No, I just- we weren’t expecting you.”

Kaname doesn’t answer that, sliding into the space beside Aidou with a smile that is still far too calm.

“What the _hell_?” Aidou practically shouts. “You were gone for _years_! Is no one else going to point that out?”

“Yes, I was. I had some business to attend to.”

“And you,” Aidou jerks a finger in Zero’s direction. “How can you be so calm about this? You- You knew, didn’t you? That Kaname was back?”

Zero swallows and looks away from the blonde’s accusatory stare. “Yeah.”

“And you didn’t think to _tell us?”_

Kaname’s voice cuts through Aidou’s anger with ease. “Aidou. That is enough. I told Zero not to tell anyone.”

Aidou balks. “ _What?_ But he’s a-“ His mouth shuts with a click.

There’s no way that sentence was going to end well. But at least the blonde stops himself before he can insult the silver-haired hunter to his face and in front of Zero’s mate, no less. All the same, Zero wordlessly raises one silver brow at the blonde. _Daring_ him to finish his words.

A heavy silence settles over the table. It’s broken only by more drinks arriving, which even the vampires eagerly drink down with enthusiasm. Zero watches with a glint in his eyes as Kaname lifts a shot glass and downs the entire thing before coughing with a grimace. He snickers at the sight and Kaname’s resulting half-hearted glare. The spectacle is cute, really.

Dahlia doesn’t stop down shots and cocktails until she’s pleasantly loose and unable to think. Which is, of course when the pureblood decides to drag his eyes away from the silver-haired hunter to her as she throws an arm around Zero’s shoulders. 

Oh, if looks could kill she’d have died a thousand deaths by now.

“Green isn’t your color, love.” She says with a leisurely glance at the pureblood, her face as cool as a sheet of ice despite Kaname’s red gaze burning holes into her right now. The brunette arches a brow,

“And who might you be? I don’t believe I’ve had the _pleasure.”_

“This is Dahlia. She’s an old friend.” Zero answers for her.

“Only a friend?”

She can’t help it. She snorts. 

“Trust me, love. Zero isn’t my type.” She releases her hold on Zero’s shoulder to steeple her hands atop the table’s surface and rest her chin on them. In doing so, she draws attention to the golden band on one of the fingers on her left hand. “For starters, he’s a bit too male for my taste.”

The jealousy dissipates from Kaname’s expression as her words sink in. Beside her, she can hear Ruka struggling to hold back a giggle. Poor Aidou blinks and looks about, uselessly, feeling as though he’s just missed something.

“What?” Aidou asks. “I don’t-“ He trails off as the words finally register. Dahlia struggles to hold back her laughter as embarrassment colors his face. She smiles and gives him a wink, telling him,

“Sorry love, afraid you were barking up the wrong tree.”

Aidou places his arms on the table and buries his head in them with a groan.

As the evening drags on, Dahlia found some tension in her form lessening. She doesn’t have much experience with vampires aside from the blood-crazy ones she hunted down and well, Zero of course. Certainly, she’d never considered being friends with any of them. At least not until now.

The straw in the witch’s cocktail moves slowly around the rim of the glass on its own. An amused smile tugs at her lips upon seeing Ruka’s eyes light up as she answers the woman’s questions about witches. Yes, most of them are women, but there are male witches as well. No, pointy hats were never their style, and though they are capable of many things—flying is not one of them. The woman hung on Dahlia’s every word as she regales her with tales of her schooling at Madame Le’vere’s Academy, an old building located in the snowy outskirts of a small, northern country.

Aidou eventually recovers from his failed attempt at wooing the witch and eagerly listens to her stories with just as much interest. Interestingly enough, Dahlia doesn’t fail to notice that Zero keeps his focus mainly on the pureblood across from him. They are lost in their own little world, those two. _Like a couple of lovelorn teenagers, really._

“So, Dahlia, you’ve known Zero since he was a kid, yes?” Takuma asks. “How come we are only meeting you now?”

“Well, mostly it was due to the old president’s persecution of my kind, love. But for the past few years, I was down in Epria on a deep undercover operation to take down a trafficking ring.” She answers with what is, probably more information than she should divulge. 

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Ruka gushes.

Which of course, prompts even more stories of the many times she’d been out in the field and faced close calls. This time even Zero joins in occasionally, be it to dispute her claims or agree with them. Before any of them know it, the place is clearing out, and it is well into the early morning.

They all say their goodbyes to each other and go their own separate ways until it is only Dahlia left with Kaname and Zero.

“Well, I should get home before Ava finds out that I went out and didn’t invite her,” Dahlia comments. She’d never hear the end of it. “Ta, cheers loves.” 

The witch walks away with a wave of her fingers and the sound of her feet on the sidewalk fading into the distance. And then there are two. Two long vampires standing amidst the bright neon signs on the street, Kaname’s dark coat flapping softly in the breeze.

“Walk with me?” The pureblood asks, stepping forward and tipping his head in Zero’s direction.

“If this some bullshit about needing your protection-“

“It isn’t,” Kaname assures him quickly. “I’m more than aware that you can handle yourself, Zero. I only wish for the pleasure of your company.”

Zero blames his flushed cheeks on the alcohol and mutters something about the brunette being a ‘smooth bastard’ as he fell into step beside him. At these hours the streets are mostly empty. Save for the occasional passing car or drunken humans so inebriated they can hardly walk straight. Neither of them says anything as they walk beneath the light of the streetlamps.

“I had a good time tonight,” Zero says, breaking the silence. “It was nice. Even if Aidou did flirt with a married lesbian.”

At that, the pureblood’s lips quirk up at the corners in amusement. But he can’t quite bring himself to share in his mate’s good mood. “You’ve been avoiding me these past few weeks.”

“Shit. You noticed?”

Kaname gives Zero a look that is most unamused at his sarcasm. “Why?”

Zero huffs and tilts his head back as they walk. “I needed some time to process everything you told me. Here I hated you, blaming you for my parents’ deaths only to find out that it wasn’t really your fault. How am I supposed to deal with that? Some days that hatred was the only thing that kept me going. Every time I would reach for the pills or the knife I’d think of that hatred and I just… _couldn’t._ And to find out that it was for _no reason?_ That’s a damn big pill to swallow.”

Kaname frowns. He doesn’t understand where Zero’s desire to hurt himself, to kill himself came from. He can't understand it. Try as he might it is impossible for someone like him. “I see. Was that the only reason?”

“No,” Zero confesses. “I- I don’t get you, Kaname. I don’t understand why you’re doing all these things, and it feels like I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Like there’s some catch that I just _know_ is coming. But then you treat me like-like _this_! You act all charming and smooth, and I hate it because I know it isn’t real, but I fucking want it to be. I hate the way you make my heart race and my head spin, and it’s like…”

“Like it was back then?” Kaname supplies. His heart sinks to his stomach at Zero’s words. 

He is all too aware of how much he messed things up between them. The memories of their school days, of more pleasant times, haunt him like a ghost he’ll never be rid of. He misses the _fire_ that burns within his mate, the ferocity in his every word and the sharp tongue of his. He longs for his fiery, sarcastic hunter whose words bit just as hard as his fists. Once he sought to tame that fire. Now he wonders why he ever wanted such a horrible thing.

Kaname’s fingers twitch with the want to touch his mate. But that is a privilege he no longer has. No longer deserves, if he ever did.

“Yeah,” Zero mutters. “I hate that I still want you, even after all the shit you did.”

The hunter’s hand reaches out on impulse and threads his fingers through the pureblood’s cold ones. Such a simple action sends a painful jolt of warmth and longing through his heart. “Can I be honest?”

“Always with me, Zero.”

“I’m scared. I’m really fucking terrified of this. I can’t trust you but-“

They’ve reached his apartment complex now, standing in front of the clear glass doors. Zero’s throat tightens as Kaname turns to face him. He squeezes the brunette’s hand. His heart has jumped into his throat because suddenly the pureblood is close. _Too_ close for him to think.

“But?” Kaname prompts softly. His breath fogs in the air between them, smelling sweetly of alcohol. Zero makes the mistake of looking up into garnet eyes and is immediately caught by the intensity of that gaze.

“But I want to.” The hunter breathes out.

He’s not sure who moves first. All Zero knows is the next second, he’s reaching out and threading his fingers through brown hair as he kisses the pureblood. Kaname doesn’t waste a second before wrapping his arms around the hunter’s waist, crushing him tight against him.

Kaname wasn’t a fool, for so many years he never even dreamed that Zero would forgive him for everything he’d done. He never thought he’d win his mate back again and he’d even come to ruefully accept that in some way. But _this-_ holding Zero and kissing him like he was a drug the pureblood can never get enough of – he was a fool to think he would ever be able to give this up, to live without his mate.

Zero’s knees threaten to buckle at the touch of his mate’s lips on his own and catches his tongue on the sharp points of the vampire’s fangs. He doesn’t care. Nor does he care when he tastes the rich, sweetness of Kaname’s blood and the pureblood’s hands tighten on his body in response. Heat shoots up his spine. Zero wants to cry. The pureblood tastes like _home._

Kaname’s teeth tug at the hunter’s bottom lip, drawing it into his mouth. He’s rewarded with a sharp gasp and a tug on his hair in retaliation. He shudders against the body of his mate as Zero’s tongue skims the roof of his mouth, exploring the pureblood’s mouth with a familiarity that burns at his skin. Suddenly it seems such a strange thought that it’s been years since he’s had the chance to kiss Zero like this.

It’s over far too quickly, and both vampires lean their foreheads together, panting into the air between them, unwilling and unwanting to separate.

“I understand you cannot trust me, Zero. I understand that. It may not be now, but I do hope to eventually earn that trust back. I love you, Zero, more than anything.” Kaname murmurs, pressing another lingering kiss to the hunter’s reddened lips.

Zero scoffs as he finally pulls away from the pureblood, turning to head into the building. For a moment, Kaname freezes, worrying he’s done something wrong until Zero looks over his shoulder with a scowl and the faintest of smirks teasing at his lips.

“You’d fucking _better.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dahlia’s necklace, for those curious: https://www.etsy.com/listing/600874458/unusual-black-gold-pendant-black-gold
> 
>  
> 
> (Also, canon takes place in a post-apocalyptic world that as far as we know, ISN'T Japan, yet we never really see any non-white characters in VK... anyone else notice that? It was bothering me, so I made Dahlia, my smol, lesbian witch, whom I love)


	14. Chapter 14: Dare you to call my bluff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero reaches his breaking point and receives a visitor during his and Ren's Friday Movie Night...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, bit of a warning for discussion of past suicide attempt and homophobic language.

The entire week passes Zero by in a slow slog. He wonders how it is that he can feel so busy yet useless at the same time. It certainly doesn’t help that they have no leads on the incident even now, months after the explosion wracked the foundations of the association in more ways than one. Everyone is on edge, antsy. They want answers and vengeance, a target to direct their rage towards and without a culprit, there isn’t really anyone else to serve as that target except for Zero.

He hears the whispers, speaking of him. Insults, rumors that _he_ is the one behind the attack. He understands their desires for revenge and fantasies of slaughtering vampires in retaliation. For the most part, he can shoot them down as he hears them, but he can't be there to listen to every stupid plan they concoct, every lie they spin about him.

He allows no one near the ruins of the old headquarters either, while they work to clear away the rubble and search for the list of those still missing since the explosion. At least some twenty hunters have been found so far. Most of them in pieces.

Telling their families has been one of the hardest things Zero has ever had to do. Facing grieving, sobbing mothers, wives, husbands, siblings, _children_ and telling them their loved one is gone. There is no easy way to do that. It doesn’t help when he tells them they didn’t die out in the field fighting vampires, but rather in an accident that could very well have been prevented if Cross had just _listened._ To a hunter there is no honor in a death like that, sitting ducks gathered around the table in the boardroom when the bomb went off.

_“I assure you, they will all be buried with full honors. They died hunters, and they will be remembered as such.”_

His words are of little comfort. Nothing he can do or say will bring their loved ones back. He knows that. A few of them yell or throw things at him in their rage, which he smoothly dodges or allows them to vent. If it helps them even a little, he will gladly endure all the venom they have to spew at him. Anything to make their grief that much more bearable.

Zero assures them all that the association will cover the cost of the funeral arrangements. In some cases, he even takes on the job of organizing the funerals. 

He makes sure to show up to each and every service. A lone figure, lingering in the back of the red-clad crowd—his face is probably the last thing any of them want to see. He cannot help but note that from afar, it looks like a sea of blood. 

As each casket is lowered into the ground, he places a single, delicate rose atop its surface as he silently recites the blessing reserved for deceased hunters and traditionally spoken by the President of the association at hunter funerals. Even if their families may not want anything to do with the association, these people were hunters, and he will see them honored as such. To Zero, it is the least he can do for them.

It never gets any easier. With each sight of a casket, surrounded by wailing families and friends, his heart can’t help but wrench in his chest. Even still, he maintains his stony facade and silently wills himself not to crack as he steps forward to pay his respects. But despite what he’d heard, none of it makes the sight any easier to bear.

_Rest easy, brother/sister of mine for you have fought well._ _Requiescat in pace._

And it’s not helping that it’s been well over a week now (if he remembers correctly) since he last saw his- mate? Boyfriend? Come to think of it, what _are_ he and Kaname? Either way, he finds himself actually longing for the presence of the smug asshole. He frowns to himself. They haven’t even gotten the chance to talk about that night at the bar.

Zero’s mouth goes dry as he remembers his lips tingling from the kiss they shared. Even now, he can still recall the taste of Kaname’s tongue and the warm tingles racing up his spine. His cheeks flush of their own accord.

“You look like shit.” A voice says, rousing Zero from his thoughts. The young hunter blinks, pink fading from his cheeks quickly as he comes back to himself to face the appraising man in the doorway.

“And _you’re_ still an asshole.” He returns before turning to face the targets in front of him again, behind the protective shield. Technically he should be wearing ear protection, but he can’t be assed to put any on right now.

Yagari whistles as the silver-haired hunter fires three shots, with two of them just a hair’s breadth away from the bullseye in the center of the target. “Rough week?”

“What do you think?” 

_Bang bang bang._ This time he manages to miss only one, but it still sets Zero’s teeth grinding. “I’ve been doing nothing but speaking with grieving families and organizing funerals. While we _still_ haven’t found all the missing people. God, I haven’t seen this much death in a long time.”

The older man hums in sympathy. “Can’t say it gets any easier, unfortunately.”

He expected that. There’s no way to make these things easier. Death is death, and sometimes, life is just shitty that way. He would probably be more worried if it _were_ easy. Three more shots hit the target and Zero pulls back to load another clip. “How’s Cross?” 

“Same ol’. Ain’t getting better, but not worse either.”

“Sorry to hear that,” Zero clips. Even if the words do come out awkward and stilted on his tongue.

Yagari must hear it in his voice because he gives a heavy sigh, leaning against the doorway. “Never worked things out, I take it.”

“There’s nothing to ‘work out,’” Zero snaps back.

“Kid, he really does care about ya. Hell, I’ve never seen someone worry so much like Cross did about you all those years you were with that bloodsucker.”

Zero thinks bitterly of all the sneers upon the nobles’ faces at class changeover. _Filthy level D_ , _disgusting hunter_ , _fag_ —the insults changed every time. 

He thinks of the many nights spent dry-heaving into the toilet because even though they hadn’t worked any other time, he’d foolishly thought that maybe, just maybe, the blood tablets might work for him this time. 

He thinks of the all-encompassing sorrow that drowned him and the voices that whispered, “it will never get better” “you’re useless” “better to end it now.” _The phantom feeling of a knife slicing into his wrists slow and painfully before his body is filled with a pleasant lightness and his vision is turning dark at the edges while somewhere a girl is screaming, frantically._

“Really? Funny way of showing it.”

“I never said he was good at it,” Yagari points out dryly. Cross had his strengths. But parenting, Yagari can't say was one of them. He tried to be there for Zero when Cross couldn’t or wouldn’t, but his job as a hunter often kept him on the road.

“That why he never showed up at the hospital after- after the accident? Because he _cared?_ ” 

Zero shudders as he talks, phantoms of cuts on his flesh. _I didn’t do it on purpose. I wouldn’t have. It was- it was just an accident. That’s all._ He remembers Yuuki bringing him assignments for that week of class, wearing a weak smile. Even Yagari had shown up and dropped a few books in his hands. “ _Don’t want you getting bored in this hellhole, kid.”_ Was what he’d said at the time. But the nurses told him the older hunter had shown up every day, asking after Zero.

 

“Jesus, Cross,” Yagari mutters with a shake of his head, part of him still surprised to hear Zero refer to his suicide attempt as an ‘accident.’ The kid has been doing that ever since it occurred, the doctor said it was his way of coping and that they shouldn’t bother to correct it. He is beginning to wonder if they should have but that’s neither here nor there. “He never told you the truth about that?”

Zero stiffens minutely, turning to face the older man with skepticism. “What do you mean?”

“Kid, he didn’t show up because he thought he was responsible. Hell, he thought showing up would only make you hate him even more,” Yagari explains. He runs a tired hand through his salt and pepper locks. “He didn’t want to make things worse, no matter how much I tried to tell him that was bullshit.”

Zero looks away with a set jaw. Cross never mentioned anything like that to him. But then, why would he if that is what he still thought? Or maybe he feared bringing up bad memories for Zero? Either way, it still doesn’t explain anything else about the man’s blatant _lack_ of parenting skills.

“I can admit Cross wasn’t the best parent,” Yagari murmurs. “But maybe it wasn’t all on his part. Hell, even I know you’re stubborn as a mule, and you don’t let people in.”

The silver-haired hunter frowns, lowering his gun. He is too distracted right now to shoot anyway. “I’m just sayin’ kid. Maybe things were a bit different than you-“

“Zero!” Dahlia appears in the doorway behind the old hunter, panting and leaning on her knees. “You need to come see this, love. _Now._ ”

She takes off without a response, Zero exchanging a worrying glance with his old teacher before both of them hurriedly follow after her. The halls are empty as they all but run. As they make their way through the maze of a building shouting carries through the walls, growing louder and louder until they finally step out into the main hall.

Hunters are crowded around what appears to be a lone speaker at the front of it all. A graying man whose golden days are obviously well behind him now. Spittle flies from his mouth as he works the crowd up into a rage. 

“Are we going to take this shit from those filthy _bloodsuckers?_ ” The speaker shouts. 

A loud chorus of ‘No’ echoes throughout the crowd of hunters. Only a few protesting or remaining silent altogether, likely out of fear of their own safety but compliant all the same.

“They killed our brothers and sisters! I think it’s time we return the favor!”

Zero pushes his way through the crowd. A few step aside as they see his face. Others simply sneer at him as the president fights his way to the front. The speaker is a larger man with a great white beard covering a belly swollen from abuse of beer over the years. There is madness in his eyes when they finally land on Zero.

“And who do we have _here?_ Our fucking _faggot_ of a President!”

Zero sees red. There’s a hand pressing hard on his shoulder, and at this point, he isn’t sure if it’s Dahlia or Yagari. “Zero. _Don’t.”_

He brushes them off with a stony glare at the man. After years of enduring shit and turning the other cheek to every motherfucker who dares to disrespect him, he likes to think he is entitled to stand up for himself. Plus if no one else does this behavior will only worsen, someone needs to show this crazed man he can't get away with it.

“Care to repeat that? I didn’t quite catch that coming from a little speck of shit, who can only sit here and talk empty threats.”

Dahlia stops Yagari from stepping forward with a whisper and a firm grip on his arm. “Let him handle this.”

“Samson, right?” Zero questions calmly. Better not to raise his voice right now. Let them see _him_ as the calm and rational one. 

“Let me see… ah, that’s right. Aged fifty-one years old and banished from the association for killing your young apprentice out in the field.” He announces. Predictably, shock ripples through the crowd. Do any of these morons bother to _learn_ or do they just blindly listen to anyone? _Honestly._

The man’s face reddens to the shade of a ripened tomato, and his meaty fingers clench into fists at his side. But Zero can smell the sweat beading on his skin that gives him away. “At least I ain’t no fag!”

“No? Then what were you doing at a gay bar with that young blonde twink? What was it he called you- _Daddy,_ I think it was?” This time the words come from Yagari. Who calmly stands off to the side, watching the whole thing with sharp eyes.

Samson throws his head back with a laugh that sounds incredibly forced. He gestures to Zero with one meaty hand.

 

“Are you going to believe these-these _lies?_ This filthy, bloodsucker is our _president!_ We are letting a vampire lead the hunters! Does anyone else see a problem with that?”

Once more, the crowd murmurs. Somewhere in the back, a woman shouts, “They ain’t lies! I was there that day, he killed that young hunter in cold blood!”

“But I have not let a damn fucking pureblood into my home!” Samson roars, nearly frothing at the mouth at this point. “And _we_ are going to kill the filthy, disgusting creature right alongside her Pap-“

This time no one bothers to stop Zero as he strides forward, his right fist flying out and landing across the man’s face with a loud crack. Samson fights back, his left fist crashing into Zero’s eye and sending pain flaring across his face.

It’s so hard to think through the red haze of fury that has enveloped Zero. Oh, don’t get him wrong - He is content to let Samson spout whatever he wants to about him, while calmly and coolly refuting his bullshit.

But then he just _has_ to go and mention Ren. Zero can tolerate many, many things. But that? That is when he draws the fucking line. The fucking second someone dares to threaten _Ren_ all bets are off.

Zero’s tongue darts out to lick the blood from his lips and he’s sure his eyes are bleeding crimson, fingernails lengthening into claws. All he can think about is protecting Ren from the lunatic before him and the challenge he presents. _Defend. Protect. Kill._

He lunges for the man before he can think, claws swiping across the old man’s face and sending bloodied droplets falling to the floor. Screams from the crowd echo around him. Zero doesn’t care. He can’t even hear anything other than the blood rushing through his ears at this point.

His hand catches the fist that comes weakly flying at his abdomen, grabbing the man’s arm and twisting until he hears a satisfying _snap!_ Samson falls to the ground with a howl of agony and Zero brings a foot down onto his ribs, before landing a hard kick to his abdomen.

_Zero_

_Zero_

_Zero_

He can’t see or hear the world around him. Everything is a haze of red. _Must protect child. Must defend. Kill the threat._

_Zero…_

“Zero!” Dahlia’s palm smacks across his smarting cheek, bringing him back to himself. 

She and Yagari stand on either side of him, gripping his arms in an attempt to hold him back. Samson is a bloody, bruised whimpering mess lying on the floor. His limbs are bent every which way, bits of white bone jutting out in places. 

For a moment, his heart stops. Shit. He’s finally fucking done it. He’s killed the damned man. 

Then he relaxes as he eyes the slight rise and fall of the man’s chest.

But the rest of the hunters… those who still linger in the crowd stare at him with wide eyes. No more disgust or revulsion. Yet what he sees instead is perhaps even worse. He sees _fear._ Pure, raw fear written on their faces. Directed at _him._

He stumbles backward, breaking both hunters’ grip on him. Zero’s heart sinks to his stomach.

“Hey! Everybody clear out!” No one can quite clear a room like Dahlia can when she raises her voice. The hunters all disperse, filtering out through the doorway in a flurry. 

Zero can’t look at her. Either of them. He’s too afraid to see their faces, the inevitable disgust and fear writ on their expressions. There’s still blood on his fingers, warm.

“Jesus,” Yagari mutters. “Call someone for Samson. We’ll charge him after we get his injuries seen to, and he wakes up.” _If_ he wakes up.

“I-I didn’t-“ Zero tries and fails to form the right words. Are there any right words in a situation like this? “He was talking about Ren. I couldn’t stand to hear him talk about them like that.”

“I get that, kid. Been there myself a couple of times. As a parent, it’s hard to hear anyone badmouth your kid. But you don’t think you maybe went a bit overboard?”

“It wasn’t on purpose.” He forces out. “I- I didn’t know what I-“

He glances up to see Dahlia exchange a glance with Yagari. That he wasn’t even aware is somehow all the more worrying. Does this mean he’s starting to fall? It shouldn’t be possible, considering it’s only been a few decades since he was bitten. But stranger things _have_ happened.

Dahlia tuts softly and lays a comforting hand on Zero’s shoulder. “Don’t take this the wrong way, love. But I think it’s best if you took some time off. At least a few days to… sort yourself out.”

“Do you think I’m falling?” Zero asks instead. The question burning and gnawing at him.

“If you want my opinion, no, I don’t think so, love. Falling to level E is a fast process, not a gradual one. You wouldn’t have regained control if you were falling.”

“You’re just a parent.” Yagari sighs. He would be lying if he said he hasn’t done the same thing a few times when other hunters have talked about Ichiru or Zero within earshot of him. “But I agree with the lady. Go home and take a few days and cool off. Let us handle this.”

He can’t argue with that. Besides, his face aches, and he’s done enough damage. “Yeah, I know. I’ll go.”

He still can’t face either of them as he mutters a quick farewell beneath his breath before turning and making his way out of the building.

“What happened to your face?” Ren asks as they walk into the kitchen, chasing the delicious savory smell that had wafted into their room.

“Nothing you need to worry about. It’s fine.” Zero assures them with a glance over his shoulder. He watches the teenager look at the two place settings and subsequently frown.

“Kaname isn’t coming over for dinner?”

“ ‘Fraid not. He had to talk to Yuuki about something.” Zero isn’t particularly bothered, knowing he has a date with the pureblood tomorrow. But he watches the disappointment flicker across the teen’s face. “Why the long face? Thought you didn’t like him anyway.”

“He is… not as bad as I expected.” Ren confesses. “And he does make a rather good King Claudius.”

Zero smiles faintly. Lately, more often than not, the pureblood has been joining them for dinner. Usually, afterward, he helps Ren practice their lines for their theater class. Zero isn’t surprised to see that the brunette is a good actor, the perfect villain to Ren’s Hamlet as they read over the scripted lines in the small apartment.

Ren murmurs something, and Zero tilts his head. “What was that? Must have missed it.”

“I said it’s good to see you happy.” The teen repeats, keeping their eyes glued to the wooden floor beneath their shoes.

The hunter’s eyes soften as he returns to the stove. “Thanks, kid.”

He stirs the pot of curry for a few more moments before tentatively tasting it and deeming it ready to eat. “By the way, when is your play again?” He questions.

“The last day of the semester.” Ren reminds him. Zero frowns and scrunches his eyebrows together in concentration for a second,

“Ah shoot, I don’t think I can make that.” 

The teenager’s shoulders fall at that. “Oh. That’s alright, I suppose.”

Zero’s hand ruffles the teenager’s hair with a laugh. “Relax. I’m just joking with you. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.” 

He remembers many times when Cross had been too busy to attend Yuuki’s dance recitals or Zero’s sports games. Like hell will he ever be that parent.

Ren perks up again, like a wilting flower being given water again. Though it is a rare sight to see on the teen, Zero can even see a faint smile on their lips as he takes a seat at the table next to them.

“Do- do you think Kaname could make it?” They ask. 

There is hesitation in their voice, as though they fear the answer. Not for the first time, Zero _hates_ the kid’s real parents, for reducing this sweet kid to the timid creature before him, afraid to even ask a mere question.

“I don’t see why he couldn’t.”

Ren smiles at that and helps themselves to a portion of the curry. That is another thing they weren’t used to - eating human food. At their old home, they hadn’t ever eaten anything besides the occasional drop of blood and even _that_ was only enough to keep them from starving. Couldn’t have the bastard child dying after all and drawing attention.

They don’t need to eat, really. But it is nice spending these moments with Zero. The one person who has ever shown him any kindness. To Zero they are more than just some pureblood’s ugly bastard, they are _Ren._

“So how is school going?” The hunter asks.

“Fine.”

“Just fine?” Zero questions. “How are you liking your classes?”

“I suppose they’re fine,” Ren answers before wincing. Neither of them is precisely skilled at the art of conversation. But Zero is trying at least, to hear more about the teen’s life and take an interest in it. “I like math and biology.”

Zero snorts. “Don’t let your Aunt hear that or she’ll be jealous. Yuuki was horrible at math all throughout school. Hell, I don’t think she would have made it this far without a calculator.”

Ren chuckles at that as they scoop up a bit of rice. “What about science? Surely she couldn’t have been terrible at that.”

“Well, she almost set the chem lab on fire. _Twice,_ might I add. She only passed that class cause Yori took pity on her.”

Ren giggles, imagining the young brunette worrying over a beaker of smoking, hissing chemicals. Ai had once shown them pictures of her mothers when they were in high school. A smiling brunette with her arm slung around the shoulders of the smaller, blonde beside her whose face was an utterly blank mask. It is so strange to imagine such a straight-A student like Yori taking pity on their poor, aunt Yuuki. 

“She wasn’t a total loss, though.” Zero continues. “I mean, her art wasn’t half bad, and she was a decent writer.”

“And she is also one of the most influential purebloods and wouldn’t have needed to work a day in her life, anyway.” Ren points out.

Zero grimaces and raises a brow at the kid’s audacity. Still, he chuckles a bit. The Kurans _were_ pretty well off, after all. “Hey, I’m _trying_ to be encouraging and inspirational here, you little shit.”

“It doesn’t suit you.” Ren shoots back.

He shrugs as he stood to pick up their now empty plates from the table. “Figured I’d try it.”

The teenager snorts and shakes their head. This isn’t bad either. A change from the usual stoic facade the older hunter put on. It is pleasant to see a smile on Zero’s face that isn’t forced. 

“Friday night movie night?” They ask, traipsing after their adoptive father into the kitchen with a hopeful note in their voice. 

Ever since Ren had been brought to live with Zero, it has been one of their traditions. Each Friday night they’d take turns picking out a movie and lying down on the couch, snacking on ice cream and junk food while watching it. Usually, Ren falls asleep by the end of it, but it’s fun to watch the actors on the screen nearly die while trying to get through an ancient hidden temple in search of lost treasure or a spy trying to take down their target while keeping their innocent love interest safe. Even the bad ones are fun to mock and laugh at.

“That depends. Did you start on that essay that’s due next week?”

“Three pages done.”

“Alright, then. But let me do the dishes first.” Zero says with a small smile. Ren scampers off to their room with a spring in their step and Zero holds back a chuckle. Maybe Yagari had a point when he said adopting a kid would make him soft.

An hour or so later the dishes are all neatly lined up, drying in a rack beside the sink. Ren is snugly wrapped up in a blanket on the couch, sipping a glass of juice with a blood tablet mixed in. And Zero is rubbing a towel over his wet hair while the teenager attempts to settle on a movie. 

And then someone knocks on the door.

Ren glances at Zero with a question in his eyes, but the hunter just holds a finger to his lips while striding over to answer the door. “Hel-“

“Am I too late?” The pureblood greets him as the door swings open. He watches Kaname stiffen at the sight of him and slowly reach a hand out to cup his mate’s face. There is a storm brewing behind his dark eyes. “What happened?”

“No need to get your panties in a twist, princess. I’m _fine.”_

“Zero. Who did this?” Kaname presses in a low growl. Zero doesn’t doubt that if he tells the pureblood, Samson won’t be escaping his wrath with his hands intact.

He doesn’t stop himself from leaning into the pureblood’s touch on his cheek. “Really, I’m A-Okay, I assure you. The other guy had it worse. But it’s over and done with, and it’s already healing.”

Kaname doesn’t seem convinced.

“I’ll tell you tomorrow.” Zero finally relents, knowing that the pureblood will only find out some other way if he doesn’t tell him. Purebloods don’t take kindly to their mates being hurt, and honestly, he can kind of understand that. He steps to the side before leaning in to peck the brunette on the lips. “But for now… you’re just in time for movie night.”

In the end, Ren insists on watching some action flick about superheroes defeating some purple alien villain. That is about the extent of what Zero got. He is far too focused on the pureblood beside him. Their thighs are pressed against each other, sending jolts of heat through Zero’s skin. It doesn’t help that the bastard can probably hear the pounding of his heart against his chest.

At some point, he steps away with the excuse of getting something to drink if only to get away from the pureblood for a moment. When he returns, Ren is nearly asleep where they sit, curled up in the blanket and Kaname is fixing him with a gentle smile.

“Don’t like _that_ face at all.” He comments, taking his seat back.

“You’ve gone soft on me, Zero,” Kaname comments softly, careful not to wake Ren.

“ _What?”_

“I never said it was a bad thing.” The pureblood adds. “It’s nice to see you have someone to care about.”

“Thanks?” Is that a compliment? It is at least meant to be one in any case. “But if you call me soft one more time, I’ll fucking shoot you.”

Kaname laughs and wraps an arm around the hunter’s shoulders, pulling him against the vampire’s side. “Now _there’s_ my feisty hunter.” He whispers against Zero’s ear. The hunter shudders at the vampire’s warm breath on his skin. “I was wondering where my mate’s fiery passion had gone.”

Words get stuck in Zero’s throat. Beneath his clothes, his skin is on fire, burning. One of the pureblood’s hands lands on his thigh. Even with the fabric between them, the hunter’s skin is on fire at the pureblood’s touch. The brunette’s head moves to press his lips against the hunter’s jaw. 

“Ka-“ Zero loses his words as the pureblood peppers kisses over his pale skin, moving downwards towards his neck. He holds back a guttural moan as Kaname’s kisses go from innocent presses of his lips to open-mouthed and needy, sucking bruises along the line of his throat. Oh, this is bad. The hunter’s cock begins to stiffen in his jeans- and while Ren is sitting only a few feet away, for god’s sake! 

“Kaname, stop. We can’t! Ren is here!” He hisses. On the screen, the movie’s credits are rolling. With great reluctance, the pureblood pulls away, not bothering to keep the smugness out of his smile when he eyes the bruises that littered his mate’s neck. “Here, I’ll put them to bed.”

But Kaname is already standing and stopping Zero with a hand. 

“No need. Allow me.” He steps over to the sleeping teen and hoists them into his arms. Before turning to carry Ren to their rooms, he fixes Zero with a dark gaze and licks his lips. “Don’t get started without me, darling.”

The hunter’s face flushes crimson, and he chucks a throw pillow after the pureblood. Not that it does anything to stop the burgeoning arousal in his gut at the low voice of the pureblood. _Darling._ A shiver runs down his spine.

“Fucking smug bastard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zero “Talk shit, get hit” Kiryuu
> 
> ~
> 
> Fun fact: that bit about Yuuki burning down the chem lab was inspired by a story my Dad told me about the time he was in middle school or high school and ended up filling his school’s lab with toxic gas once. Some other things from this chapter were based on personal experience as well but I won't bore you with that.
> 
> Guess what's coming up next chapter? (Here's a hint: it involves that Explicit rating) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)


	15. Chapter 15: Coming Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times between our two vampires!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexy times with two soft bois.

Zero eagerly meets Kaname’s lips with his own, letting the pureblood push him back down onto the couch, climbing over him. He links his arms around the pureblood’s shoulders as he tugs him closer, quickening the kiss. 

The brunette pulls back long enough to rid himself of his coat and shirt, revealing pale muscle beneath. The hunter’s tongue darts out to wet his lips at the sight. 

“I still can’t believe this is real.” He murmurs, eyes flickering from Kaname’s crimson eyes to the pureblood’s mouth. “You. Me. _Us.”_

Kaname grabs his hand and brings it to his lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it before holding it against his chest. “Does this not feel real enough to you?”

“I just- it seems like any minute now I’m going to wake up and find out this is just some far-fetched dream. I know that sounds crazy but-“

Kaname silences him with a kiss before gently pulling away. “You aren’t crazy, Zero. Far from it. If you don't believe my words, allow me to show you instead _._ ”

Zero swallows, running his hand along the flesh of Kaname’s abdomen before teasingly brushing the hem of his pants. Kaname growls at that before leaning forward to attack his neck with kisses once more that leave Zero panting and groaning beneath him. He tugs Zero’s shirt off of him with an impatient frown at the piece of fabric.

“Ah, Kaname,” He sighs as the vampire nips at his collarbone. And _oh,_ he shivers as Kaname’s lips curve into an impish smirk against his skin before he flicks his tongue against one of Zero’s nipples.

“Fuck!” Zero hisses and arches sharply up against him. 

The vampire chuckles lowly as he repeats the action once more, swirling his tongue around the pert bud before lightly tugging on it with his teeth. A low moan escapes Zero’s throat as he presses up with his chest, seeking more of that wet heat. 

“You’re still so sensitive,” Kaname hums before fixating on the other nipple, lavishing it with attention and turning Zero into a groaning mess beneath him. He makes such a beautiful sight, flushed and panting like this. Kaname’s cock stiffens at the sight. 

Zero tugs the brunette away from his chest with a hand in his hair and pulls into a bruising, biting kiss that speaks volumes of his impatience. As if his cock hard and straining in his pants didn’t do that all on its own.

“Get on with it already.”

“No – it’s been so long, I wish to savor this.”

The hunter growls and rolls his hips up against the vampire, his cock already nearly painfully hard. It’s been too long. Too long since he felt Kaname’s touch on him, taking him apart and he _needs_ this. 

The pureblood palms his aching cock through Zero’s jeans, making the hunter moan roughly against his mouth, fingers curling against the hard flesh of Kaname’s back and leaving angry red lines.

“So hard for me, _hunter,”_ Kaname’s words are a breath of warm air against his ear. Zero whines as the pureblood’s tongue traces the sensitive flesh, hand still stroking him through the fabric. It’s not enough.

“Fuck! More-“

“Zero,” Kaname stops him with a gentle hand on his chin, turning him to face the pureblood. The sheer adoration in that gaze threatens to undo him. 

“Relax, I’m not going anywhere, so let me take this slowly,” The pureblood’s hand smoothly undoes the hunter’s pants and removes them.“I want to see you writhe and beg for me, coming undone by hands and losing yourself in your pleasure,” 

He tugs down Zero’s briefs. Zero’s cock is flushed red and stiff against his belly. Clear pre-cum beads at the tip and Kaname can’t resist swiping his thumb over the head before bringing the digit to his lips. The clear sticky, fluid is bitter and salty on his tongue, but the sheer knowledge that it’s _Zero_ is more than enough for Kaname.

Zero whimpers, throwing his head back against the couch as Kaname wraps a hand around his aching cock. “Oooh fuck- more-“

Kaname smiles at the sounds of his lovely mate makes spread out beneath him. The hunter’s cock is hot and heavy in his hand as he wraps his hand firmly around it. He moves his hand slowly, stroking the hot, slick flesh with long strokes of his hand. 

“That’s it,” He croons into his hunter’s ear. “You’re so pretty, Zero. So lovely for me. You look so gorgeous beneath me like this. Come apart for me, my mate.”

“Kaname, _Kaname_!” His name leaves Zero’s lips in a series of breathless gasps like a prayer. It takes only a few more strokes of his hand before the hunter stiffens beneath him, his release coating his stomach and Kaname’s hand in thick ribbons of white.

The pureblood merely brings his hand to his lips, gently licking each drop of his mate’s spend from his fingers as though it’s the nectar of the gods. He bends down once he’s finished to drag his boneless mate into a kiss that tastes of his own spend.

Zero’s fingers tighten around Kaname’s shoulders as he swipes his tongue over his mate’s fangs. There’s a sensation of undeniable _rightness_ , being with the pureblood like this. It’s almost as though something was missing from him and he hadn’t the vaguest clue what it was before this moment when suddenly there it is. Somewhere he’s vaguely aware that his cheeks are damp.

“You’re here,” He whispers, clutching the pureblood close and inhaling the scent of his cologne and sweat. “You’re _here,”_ Zero pulls back to bury his face in the brunette’s neck even as his tears dampen Kaname’s skin.

He knows it’s ridiculous of him, this overwhelming relief that floods him. After all, _he_ was the one who walked out all those years ago. But even as he left the manor, some part of him had stubbornly clung to the idea of mending their broken relationship, of eventual reconciliation. Only that hadn’t happened of course because Kaname had disappeared shortly after without so much as a ‘by your leave.’ He left just like everyone else in Zero’s life had. Ichiru, his parents, Yuuki and now his mate. They all left.

It probably wasn’t healthy to cling to this, for _either_ of them. But when had either of them cared about that?

“I’m here,” Kaname assures his mate. Stroking a hand through silver locks. He gently pulls Zero’s face back to see the pale flesh streaked with tears. 

He is not worthy of being this lovely creature’s mate. Not when he has caused him so much pain. He presses fervent kisses to his mate, his cheeks and nose as well as his eyes and forehead as though he can erase the pain. “I’m here.”

Zero grips the pureblood’s face and drags him back into another kiss. He tugs the pureblood’s bottom lip between his teeth and scrapes his fangs along the plump skin. His fingers dig into creamy skin and pull Kaname closer as the sweet, rich flavor of blood hits his tongue. Zero growls as it awakens a thirst in him that had laid dormant for years. He can’t get enough.

His cock is hard and aching once more between his legs. With a low whine in his throat, the hunter pushes relentlessly at Kaname’s shoulders until the perplexed pureblood pulls back. Zero pushes him back down so that the brunette is seated on the couch before climbing over his lap to straddle his mate before diving down once more in search of that delicious crimson coating Kaname’s lips.

“Zero,” Kaname growls. His hands come up to grip his mate’s hips in a bruising grip as Zero skillfully explores his mouth with his tongue. The hunter’s hips grind down against the hard bulge in his pants, making Kaname groan into their kiss. 

“The things you do to me,” He breathes after pulling away from their kiss to drop his head to the hunter’s shoulder. 

Zero knows. He knows because the pureblood’s effect on him is the same. They are drawn to each other, always. Two opposing forces forever bound to the same orbit. Even though Kaname’s hands are cold, they dance across his skin like fire itself, and he needs _more._ He needs his mate inside him, fucking him roughly till he can’t walk or even think. 

“Wait,” He whispers, pulling back to stand. 

Kaname watches in confusion as his mate darts out of the room only to return a second later with a small vial of lubricant in his hand. He throws a leg over the pureblood once more, leaning forward to give Kaname a view of his muscled back and pert ass. He generously coats a few of his fingers in the shiny, slick liquid before dipping down to slowly run them between his cheeks.

Zero groans into the meat of the vampire’s shoulder as he gently sinks a finger into himself. It’s not that he hasn’t had other partners in the time they’ve been separated, he’s had the occasional quick, rough fuck but it never went further than that. And it’s has been some time since he was on the receiving end of these things. 

There’s a slight burn and an all-around _odd_ sensation of his hole stretching around his finger after so long. But it’s not bad. The pain centers him, and he squirms under Kaname’s heated gaze.

“Mmh, Kaname-“ He moans against pale skin as he grows used to the sensation bit by bit. Sharp pleasure shoots up his spine as his finger brushes over his prostate. Zero knows Kaname is watching him, his eyes dark with lust as Zero fucks himself on one, two of his own fingers.

After a few minutes, Zero removes his fingers from his wet hole, smoothly ridding the pureblood beneath him of his pants and underwear and _oh._ Arousal curls in his gut at the sight of Kaname’s flushed thick, rigid cock curved against his belly. He can already imagine it inside of him, stretching him and fucking him open slowly.

Kaname holds onto his hips with an iron grip as the hunter slowly lowers himself down onto the pureblood’s cock. 

“Oh _fuck-“_ It’s impossible to describe what it’s like having Kaname - having his _mate -_ inside of him once more after so many years. Zero whines low in his throat as Kaname’s cock fills him so, so good. Kaname is in a similar state, his nails leaving red crescents where they grip Zero’s hips. It takes everything in him not to thrust upwards into his mate.

Eventually, Zero begins to move, gently rocking his hips. He moves with caution at first, until Kaname change the angle and a shudder runs down his spine as the vampire’s cock hits his prostate dead-on. 

“F-Fuck, more baby,” He moans against the pureblood’s neck. They settle into a gentle rhythm, Zero fucking himself on Kaname’s cock, the pureblood raising his hips and thrusting into his mate. The room is silent save for the loud noises of their flesh and the quiet groans that Zero tries to muffle against Kaname’s shoulder.

His fingernails rake down the pureblood’s back as Kaname grips his hair and pulls him back to draw his mate into a kiss. Zero groans low in his throat, trying to muffle his sounds against Kaname’s throat, biting and licking at the pale skin there. With his pureblood healing powers, there’s no way any bruises will linger for more than a few hours at most, but the idea of marking up his mate has his inner vampire purring a possessive thrill all the same. Kaname is _his,_ let there be no mistaking that.

“G-God-“ Zero chokes out as the pureblood thrusts up into him roughly.

“Funny, but I don’t believe that’s my name,” Kaname comments, voice roughened with desire.

“Very funny- you – _oh, fuck!”_ A high keening noise escapes the hunter. He clings desperately to the vampire as Kaname’s cock hits his prostate with nearly every thrust. Beads of sweat roll down Zero’s skin, his mind almost going numb, and his body breathless with his pleasure. At this rate, this will be over embarassingly quickly for both of them.

“Shit, Kaname- don’t stop. Please-“ Nonsense words escape his mouth along with tiny, pleasured noise drawn out with each thrust of the pureblood’s cock. God, it’s been so long since he had sex this good. Don’t get him wrong – usually, even bad sex is pretty good. But this – sex with his mate – is on a whole other level altogether. It’s like Kaname’s pleasure is there in his mind, blurring right alongside his own until he can’t tell which is which anymore.

“You feel divine,” Kaname growls against the hunter’s shoulder, sharp teeth sinking into his skin not quite hard enough to break skin. He groans low in his throat. It’s been far too long since he had Zero like this since he’s had his mate’s warm heat squeezing around his cock while the hunter struggles to keep quiet and it takes all of his self-control to keep from flipping them over and roughly taking his mate like he wants to.

Not many words are said between either of them as they move as one, rutting against each other, seeking their pleasure. Words are seldom needed between them anyway, and this time proves no different. The wet sounds of flesh and Zero’s desperate noises fill the room in a way that’s loud and crude and something much more than that all at the same time. It’s enough for them.

It isn’t long before Zero stiffens with a low moan as his release coats both vampires’ stomachs. Kaname follows shortly after, groaning into the meat of Zero’s shoulder as his release fills the hunter.

The hunter collapses against the brunette, sweaty and boneless. He lays his head on Kaname’s shoulder, panting through the aftershocks. After a while, the vampire moves enough that his softening cock slips from Zero. He aches already and knows it will only be worse in the morning but doesn’t really mind the thought this time. 

Moments pass in silence, Zero content to remain boneless on the pureblood’s lap and Kaname not about to move him.

“You never did explain your injury,” Kaname comments after a while, brushing wet silver locks away from the bruise around Zero’s eye.

“Some asshole hunter was talking shit, and they mentioned Ren. I sort of… lost it.”

The vampire chuckles at that. “I suppose I can’t say I would have acted any differently if it had been me.”

His words bring a modicum of comfort to Zero. At least he knows now that Kaname doesn’t hate Ren, which was… something he had admittedly been worried about. The pureblood had never mentioned wanting kids.

“Zero.”

“Mh?”

“You should drink from me. I can tell it’s been some time since you fed; clearly, your injuries are not healing as quickly as they should be.” Kaname murmurs.

Zero huffs. He detests that the pureblood has a point. It’s been about three weeks now since his last bag of blood, and his throat has been aching for a drink lately. Drinking from a bag is far different than biting into a person, though. The thought of the latter still makes him squirm. Yet Kaname makes a good point, and he knows the pureblood isn’t about to let him go without.

“Fine.” He grumbles before moving closer to the pale neck in front of him. He licks at the flesh for a bit first before shutting his eyes and biting down on the enticing flesh. There was a time he would have balked at the idea of drinking from anyone in such a way. The years have changed him quite a bit in that regard.

Kaname’s blood hits his tongue immediately. Zero shudders as his throat burns in desire once more. Sure, he’d gotten a brief taste while they kissed but _this?_ Oh, this was so much _more._ It’s rich, decadent on his tongue with a faint sweetness beneath the bitter. To be honest, he’s not quite sure if it’s because they’re still technically mated or because Kaname is a pureblood, but he can’t remember it ever tasting this good. It’s heaven and Zero swallows down every last drop in eager gulps.

After a while, he forces himself to pull away, brushing his tongue over the wound once more to collect the stray droplets. The burning thirst in his throat is no longer present, but only now is Zero aware of how exhausted he is. 

The hunter lets out an indignant squawk as the pureblood rises from his seat with Zero in his arms. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You’re exhausted,” Kaname says as though that’s all the reply he needs. “Which room is yours?”

Ordinarily Zero would like it to be known that he would have protested further at the idea of being carried like this. As it is, he just wants to sleep and honestly, he’s not sure his legs wouldn’t give out anyways if Kaname put him down. “Last door on the right.”

He should protest. They still need to pick their clothes up off the floor and clean the stains off of the fabric of the couch before Ren wakes up and sees it. Zero would die on the spot if that happened. But Kaname’s chest is so warm that he can’t be bothered to think about such things right now.

Zero’s bedroom is composed of royal purple walls accented with white and black. There’s a wardrobe, a floor-length mirror beside that and… not much else aside from a few storage containers and a mostly empty bookshelf. Kaname gently sets the hunter down on the bed, noticing that he’s already mostly asleep in his arms.

He covers the hunter’s form with a sheet and brushes back a stray lock of silver hair. As he turns to leave, a hand reaches out to clutch his wrist.

“Stay,” Zero mumbles from the bed.

Well, now how can Kaname argue with that? The vampire uses his powers to shut the door before climbing in beside the silver hunter, who begrudgingly wiggles over to make room. He wraps his arms around the hunter, hugging Zero’s back to his chest and burying his nose in unkept silver locks. A smile tugs at his lips in victory when Zero doesn’t protest. After a few moments, he can hear the steady, slow lull of his mate’s heartbeat telling him that Zero has drifted off to sleep.

“I won’t leave again. This much, I promise.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No, I'm not sorry for the terrible pun in that chapter title btw.


	16. Chapter 16: Took a broken heart and made it beat

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The morning after. Kaito lets his feelings about Kaname and Zero's relationship be known and his subtle jealousy is fooling no one -- except for Zero who is oblivious, of course. Kaname and Zero celebrate their six-month anniversary!

The arm around Zero’s waist tightens as he fidgets under soft sheets. He fishes a hand out from beneath the covers to snatch his phone and silent the piercing alarm with a protesting grumble accompanying his not-yet-awake squint. Cold skin is plastered against his back, a pair of sharp fangs nicking sharply at the flesh of his shoulder in annoyance.

A second later a warm pair of lips soothe the spot with a kiss. “I detest that thing,” Kaname murmurs behind him. “Why must you always wake at _dusk?_ The sun isn’t even down yet.”

“Habits,” Zero replies around a yawn. “And the mountain of paperwork on my desk.”

The brunette moves to press kiss along Zero’s nape now, and the hunter shudders at the touch. “I believe you’re forgetting your usual run with that hunter friend of yours.”

“Okay, and that,” The silver-haired man amends. He lifts a brow in amusement at Kaname’s words. “You realize he has a name, right?”

“That does not mean that I am required to _use_ said name and doing so would suggest that I actually respect the man.”

“And we can’t have that, can we?” Zero snarks, humming as his mate shifts around, now pressing sloppy, open-mouthed kisses along the tattoo staining his neck. He tips his head back with a groan to allow him more space. 

“Don’t be jealous,” The hunter chides. Although it is fairly gratifying, watching Kaname get all disgruntled and pouty. 

“I am not jealous,” Kaname protests against Zero’s skin with a stubborn frown. “I already have all that I need _right here._ ” 

“Of course, you aren’t. Haa- fuck,” Zero murmurs, words lost to a low groan as his mate’s slender fingers reach down to cup his morning arousal through his briefs. 

“If you continue doing th-a oh, _fuck,_ ” For once he’s glad Ren is a heavy sleeper.

Kaname’s lips curve into a smirk as he reaches into his mate’s underwear to stroke his growing erection in slow movements. Just enough to provoke but not nearly sufficient and he knows it. 

“What was that? Were you saying something?”

He grips Zero’s cock in earnest then and smears his thumb over the slick head, collecting pre-cum beading at the tip and using it to coat the rest of his mate’s length. Zero lets out a shaky gasp, and his eyes squeeze shut as he fights to keep from pushing his hips into the cold grip of Kaname’s hand.

“K-Ka- oh shit-“ He curses as Kaname twists his hand _just right._

The other hand of the pureblood’s reaches around to grip his chin, turning him to meet the brunette in a bruising kiss that tastes like morning breath and stale blood tablets. All the same, his toes curl as the pureblood eagerly explores his mouth with his tongue.

When they break apart the pureblood hums approvingly at the vivid crimson flush coloring his lover’s pale cheeks and the dazed look in his eyes. His tongue darts out to wet his lips. 

“I believe you were saying something,” He whispers smugly into Zero’s ear, delighting in the pleasured shudder he receives.

“I-If you keep this up, I might be tempted to stay a while longer,” Zero purrs. He cranes his head to look at his mate from beneath his lashes before rolling over onto his back and pulling Kaname on top of him.

Kaname hums, hooking a finger into the waistband of Zero’s briefs. “We can’t have that, now can we?”

“No, we can’t,” Zero agrees as he grips silky chestnut strands and draws his mate down into another kiss.

 

Zero huffs as his feet pound against the dirt road. His lungs are burning in his chest with each movement. Thankfully with the schedule he keeps, it means there are practically no people out at this time of night. Just him and the occasional noise from an animal to fill the air. Usually the animal right beside him.

“So, how is construction going?” Kaito asks beside him between gasps of air.

“It’s going. Slowly but it’s going. It’s taking a long time because not much besides the stone foundations and that damned furnace survived the blast.”

“Any leads yet on our culprit?”

“The vampires seem content to just say it was Asato Ichijo and let the whole thing go.”

“You sound like you don’t agree.”

“I don’t. I just think it’s impossible for a vampire to get past our wards, least of all a fucking pureblood. A lesser bloodsucker might have been able to find a way in, but a pureblood?”

Kaito nods, following along with Zero’s every word. His amber eyes narrow in concentration. “Those wards would have turned him to ash before he even set foot in there. So, you think it was one of us?”

Zero isn’t certain if he fully trusts Kaito, but he doesn’t want to lie to the man who has been his friend since childhood either. 

“I don’t know. It’s possible,” Zero admits. At this point, he isn’t ruling anything out.

“But what reason would a hunter have to kill their own kin?”

_That’s what I’m trying to find out,_ Zero doesn’t mention, coming to a stop when his phone begins going off noisily in his pocket. He pulls it out and glances at the screen. _Kaname_. 

“Shit. Sorry, I have to take this. One sec,”

Zero leaves Kaito standing there on the jogging path with an apologetic glance as he walks a short distance away. He leans against a tree, trying to catch his breath and wipes sweat from his forehead with the hem of his shirt. 

“Hey.”

“Hello yourself,” Kaname answers and Zero’s heart rate quickens more at the sound of his voice. “I’m sure you’re busy but I wanted to be certain that we are still on for dinner tonight.”

_“Hey, Zero! One more lap?”_ Kaito shouts with an eagerness in his tone.

“Huh? I- shit, hang on-“ Zero pulls the phone away from his ear, a flicker of irritation crossing his expression. 

“ _No_ , Kaito! I’m already fucking tired!” He shouts at the other hunter before bringing the phone back up.

“Kaito?” Kaname repeats with errant disgust. He’s never liked that hunter and how keen he is to get close to Zero, all the while badmouthing vampires in the same breath – his favorite being Kaname himself, of course. It’s awfully hypocritical of him to seek Zero’s company so often with his supposed hatred. No, he doesn’t like Kaito’s affection for Zero at all, and he wouldn’t be surprised to learn that friendship was the furthest thing from the hunter’s mind while in Zero’s company. 

“My, out of breath _and_ while you’re with another man. Should I be worried, Zero?” His words are teasing for the most part. Zero he trusts wholeheartedly. Kaito? That’s an entirely different matter.

“To be fair, we never said we were exclusive,” Zero teases. He stiffens when Kaname doesn’t reply for a minute. Has he taken it too far? 

“Zero.”

“Hey, relax I was just fucking with you, okay? I’m out jogging with Kaito, that’s _it._ ”

More silence greets him. “Is that so? Good _._ You know how I don’t like to share.”

“Yeah, yeah. I get it, you possessive bastard,” Zero sighs, waving him off though Kaname can’t see. He’d be lying if he said the idea of Kaname getting cozy with someone else doesn’t make him jealous in the slightest. 

Kaname smirks at his hunter’s comment. He can tell how flustered his mate is from his voice. _How cute._ But he won’t tease the hunter, not today. 

“My my, _someone_ is in a mood today. Relax, it was only a jest. I trust you, Zero. Although I still don’t like Takamiya.”

Trying to rile him up, huh? Two can play at that game. 

“It’s not nice to tease, Kaname.” Zero’s voice dips low. ”Especially when I still have the marks on my skin from this evening,” Zero’ cheeks flush with his words. Yet, curiously enough, he doesn’t hate the thought of wearing Kaname’s marks on his skin. Although the ache in his backside is rather relentless.

And _oh_ , he can hear the pureblood’s breath hitch at those words. He should have known that Kaname would have a thing for seeing his marks on Zero’s skin, as possessive as the man is. But the pureblood recovers quickly, clearing his throat for good measure before speaking again.

“Yes, I suppose you’re right. So, dinner, yes? I hope you didn’t forget the date.”

Shit. Date? What is so important about the date? It isn’t a holiday. Definitely not a birthday he missed or some event. Fuck, he’s coming up completely blank no matter how hard he wracks his brain. “Nope. Not at all.”

“You do realize that I can tell you are lying by your voice alone, right?” Well, perhaps he _would_ pick on him a little. Zero was too fun to mess with, really.

His shoulders slump in defeat. “Alright, fine. So, it _may_ have slipped my mind somewhere in the pile of work sitting on my desk, okay? Sue me. Now, will you tell me?”

The pureblood chuckles. “But where’s the fun in that? It’s more entertaining to make you figure it out on your own.”

“Kaname, don’t you dar- “

“Goodbye, Zero.”

And then the _bastard_ hangs up. _Are you fucking kidding me, you juvenile asswipe?_ Zero clenches his phone in his fist in exasperation at Kaname for not just _telling_ him the damn date. He takes a deep breath. He struggles to remember the date, the date is…

Oh. 

Has it already been that long? Six months since Kaname returned. Six months since they started… this. Well, if he wasn’t an asshole before he absolutely is _now._ How could he forget their anniversary? 

_Because time passes by quickly when you’re with him,_ a traitorous voice in his head whispers. _Fuck._ Truthfully, Zero can’t deny it. Kaname makes him happier than he’s been in _years._ He is so screwed.

“Z, you coming?” Kaito calls from the trail.

He pockets his phone once more before joining his friend, though the guilt rests heavily on his shoulders. 

Kaito is quieter as they walk another lap to cool down. There are no questions or teasing jibes. Only the sound of both hunters desperately sucking in air and their footsteps. Zero has known Kaito for years now though, long enough to tell the distinction between comfortable silence and the kind of silence that tells him to brace for a lecture. This one is most definitely the latter.

“So, it’s true, huh?” Kaito drawls, proving the hunter right.

Zero raises a brow at his friend with innocence written across his face. “ _What’s_ true?”

“You and that bloodsucker are back together. Dahlia told me, but I assumed she was bullshitting me. Guess not,” Kaito explains with a penetrating glare at his friend, one that only deepens when Zero doesn’t bother denying it. “Don’t tell me you’re that stupid, Z.”

Zero bristles at that, folding his arms across his chest. “ _Stupid?_ I’m not some damn child that needs to be protected, Kaito. I don’t see how it’s any of your business who I do or don’t date.”

“Well _someone_ has to think about you because it’s obvious you don’t give a damn about yourself! People like him don’t change, Z. Take it from someone who has been there.”

“Oh, so suddenly you know all about Kaname?” Zero retorts sharply and with no insignificant measure of venom and derision in his tone. He can’t help it with the way Kaito is speaking about Kaname when the man isn’t even there to defend himself. _Cowardly move there._ “In that case, please, by all means— _enlighten me_.”

“It’s not that it’s _him,_ Z. It’s everyone like him. For fuck’s sake do you think you’re the only one who has ever gotten out of a bad relationship and was tempted to go back? I’ve been there, and it isn’t fun. Those people? They don’t love you, Z. They want you to _think_ that, but they don’t.”

The younger man wants to tug at his hair in frustration. 

“Not everyone is the same, Kaito. There’s nothing suggesting that Kaname is the same as those people, which you would see if you would stop with the damn generalizing!”

Kaito just shakes his head at his friend and gives him a pitying look that Zero is damn tempted to knock off his face.

“Are you even listening to yourself? He’s got you wrapped around his little finger, and you don’t even realize it, Zero. God, you know what? Forget it. Just don’t say that I didn’t try to warn you.”

With that, the auburn-haired hunter storms off ahead of Zero. He pauses for a moment before moving out of earshot, 

“What about the explosion, huh? Did you ever think that _he_ might have been the one behind it? None of this started until he returned!”

Zero reels back at his friend’s words as though he’d been struck, though his glare remains steadfastly in place. No, he hasn’t considered that. He hadn’t even wanted to. Surely, a pureblood wouldn’t be able to get past their wards. _An ordinary one might not, but what about an ancient one?_ His brain whispers to him. He is left standing there in shock and increasing uncertainty as his friend walks away without an answer.

 

Kaname must seem like a fool, sitting here gawking at his phone like some human girl. He imagines Zero’s pale cheeks flushed pink from irritation and his lavender eyes locked in a steely glare in response to his badgering.

Yes, he is indeed a lovesick fool and for the one person who he’d sworn not to feel anything towards. The man who was once meant to be a mere pawn, a tool to protect Yuuki and nothing more. _How quickly that has changed._

Thousands of years and in that time, he’d taken plenty of lovers to satisfy sexual desires and the taste of warm, fresh blood on his tongue. None of them could ever hope to match his mate. Never, not once, in all the centuries he’s been alive has he felt this way about anyone else. He’s never loved anybody in the way he does Zero. For the longest time, he even thought himself incapable of such emotions.

_“What is wrong with those two humans?” Kaname asks. He stares at the two whose arms are wrapped around each other, locked in a kiss. Though their faces or anything about them is impossible to discern from this distance. Beside him, the hooded woman turns and follows his gaze, chuckling softly under her breath._

_“They’re in love.”_

_“Love?” He repeats. He’s heard that word before. From Mothers and children, wives and husbands. But he still does not comprehend what it means. It is a mystery to him. “What does that word mean?”_

_“You’re asking me what love is?”_

_“Yes.”_

_The woman sighs and strolls over to stand beside him. Together they watch the couple part, each going their separate ways and neither ever spotting the vampires observing them._

_“I’m not sure I know how to answer that,” The woman replies, eventually._

_“Why not?”_

_“Love isn’t something that you can describe, Kaname. Love must be felt. In here,” She points a finger at where his heart lay in his chest. “It’s not something that can be put into words. It’s different for every person. Sometimes it can be wonderful and the best thing you’ve ever experienced. Other times it can be horrible and grotesque. Love isn’t always pleasant.”_

_“How do you know which type of love it will be?”_

_“You don’t. That’s a risk you choose.”_

_Kaname frowns. “Why would anyone take such a risk?”_

_“Because when you get to love someone—the good kind of love, it’s beyond words. It’s almost like flying. It’s worth the risk that you take.”_

_“I’ve never loved anyone,” The brunette confesses quietly. “I do not know that I can.”_

_The woman offers him a gentle smile. “Of course, you can, Kaname. I have seen you, you are capable of love. You may not meet them today or tomorrow or for years to come, but I promise you there is someone out there that you are capable of falling in love with and if you let them, they will love you back.”_

_“How will I know? If I have fallen in love with someone, how will I know?”_

_“Trust me. You will know.”_

He understands what she meant now and the purpose behind the vagueness of her words. What he and Zero share is something that is difficult to define and impossible to put into words. It simply _is._

Across from him, the sight of Zero makes his throat go dry. His silver-hair is slicked back into something a tad neater than his usual messy locks, and his dark shirt is unbuttoned enough at the top to give the pureblood a crystal-clear view of his collarbone and the base of his throat.

“You planning to wine and dine me then?” The hunter drawls, scanning over the menu, his eyes flitting to the bottle of wine sitting in a bucket of ice. “Got to say, I _think_ you might be a bit late on that front.”

“Maybe I only enjoy spoiling you the way you deserve,” The pureblood purrs.

There’s an awkward little chuckle from the hunter that’s followed by a small, soft smile. Ever since he started therapy, Zero has begun to accept the pureblood’s words and praises instead of brushing them off. It’s a good change. Much as he enjoys seeing his mate get all flustered and worked up over his words, this is a side of Zero that he appreciates as well.

He watches the hunter’s throat move as he sips the wine in front of him, lips coming away stained red. 

“So, does that make you my sugar daddy, now? Should I start calling you, _Daddy_?” Zero follows his words up by tracing his tongue along the trail of plum sauce that is running down his wrist, locking eyes with the vampire across the table.

Kaname’s eyes dim at the action, and his breath hitches in his throat in a way that most assuredly does not go unnoticed by his watchful mate.

“No way,” Zero sets his fork down with a slow smirk. “Oh my _god,_ you have a Daddy kink!”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Kaname forces out eventually. 

Zero throws his head back with a loud bark of laughter that draws curious stares from patrons in the restaurant around them. The idea of _Kaname_ —the vampire who is thousands of years old -- having a fucking Daddy kink is just too amusing not to have a chuckle at.

“Hey—I’m not judging,” He finally says while lifting his hands up in surrender. Okay, so he is judging. A bit. Although… the mental image that information paints isn’t a bad one per se. _Kaname in a three-piece suit, bending Zero over his knee-_

_“Are you going to be a good boy now? Hmm? Will you be Daddy’s good boy?”_

Zero shudders involuntarily. _Definitely not bad._ Maybe Kaname isn’t the only one out of the two of them with some hidden kinks.

Kaname’s glare is half-hearted at best as he takes a bite of his steak, oblivious to Zero’s thoughts. 

“How has your work been going?” The older vampire asks in a desperate attempt to change the topic.

“Having a grand ol’ time. Just _so_ much fun, really.”

“I can see that.”

The hunter shrugs.

“It’s mostly just filling out paperwork at this point, anyway. Just piles and piles of the crap. Signature here, initial there. I swear I am one more useless form away from pulling my hair out,” Zero bemoans. At this rate, it’s only a matter of time before his poor hands develop carpal tunnel. 

“That’s a good thing, no? Given recent events, we could all do with a break in the excitement.”

Zero scoffs, “Speak for yourself. Just last month we started sending hunters back out into the field.”

“Have things been going well?”

“Yeah. _Too_ well. It’s like all the hatred and want for vengeance is just gone. There hasn’t been one single complaint of hunters harassing a vampire, and it’s putting me on edge,” Zero elaborates. “The quieter things get, the more it seems like this is all just the calm before the storm.”

“Perhaps it’s nothing,” Kaname offers.

“Maybe.” 

_But I don’t think so._ Call him paranoid, but Zero has learned the hard way before to never let his guard down. Things are rarely what they seem, especially when it comes to hunters and vampires. There are always strings being pulled behind the scenes, cards being played and money changing hands. _Always._ Admittedly the presence of his mate does help to soothe his nerves though, for the time being anyway.

The two spend the rest of their meal in relative silence. 

Zero is content to just appreciate the food alongside the presence of the pureblood. Since things have been getting busier at work, he sees Kaname less and less, which hasn’t benefited his mood at all. Occasionally, Kaname chimes in with bits of small talk or questions about Ren and how their school is going.

It’s nice to be normal for once. Like they’re just Kaname and Zero instead of the pureblood and the hunter. Or at least to pretend such for one evening. His chest grows warm and light at the domesticity of the whole thing.

As they finish their meal and are sipping on another glass of wine, Kaname stiffens abruptly in his seat, his back going ramrod straight and his eyes flaring bright, dangerous crimson as he looks somewhere beyond Zero. 

But when the hunter turns around to check there is no one there. _What the actual fuck?_

“Kaname?”

He receives a rough growl in response. It’s like Kaname isn’t even present anymore in those scarlet eyes. Just the pureblood. The highly dangerous and _powerful_ pureblood. Fuck. He has to do something before the pureblood ends up attacking someone and this turns into a bloodbath.

Zero rises out of his chair and slowly edges closer to the furious pureblood. He is distantly conscious of the fact that he should possibly be afraid right now. In fact, considering the pureblood’s suddenly murderous aura, he should be fucking _terrified._

Yet there’s not an ounce of fear in the hunter. Maybe it’s because they’re mated or his hunter instincts kicking in. But somehow he understands that Kaname won’t hurt him. 

“Hey. Come on, what the he- “

A clawed hand shoots out to grip his wrist and drags him onto the pureblood’s lap. Almost at once the brunette buries his nose in the hunter’s neck and wraps an arm around Zero’s waist, pinning him in place. 

“Kaname. If this is a joke, it isn’t funny. Now _stop it_!”

“ _Mate,”_ The pureblood rasps against his nape with a pleased hum. “ _Mine.”_

Oh, for fuck’s sake. 

“Yes, yes. Yours. Now would you mind letting me fucking go?” It is growing really hard for him to think straight with the smell of his mate’s cologne right there and the unique underlying scent of Kaname. His head is starting to spin. He could get drunk on that fragrance.

The tight grasp of the pureblood’s arms around his waist doesn’t help. Christ, he was aware that purebloods are strong but witnessing _how_ strong makes heat coil in his gut. 

Zero shoves those thoughts aside with a staunch reminder that this isn’t Kaname. Not the one that he knows. This is the purely animalistic pureblood. The hunter cautiously brings a hand up to bury his fingers in brown locks. When he is met with a slight shudder of the pureblood’s form, he allows himself to comb his fingers through the silky strands of hair. 

“Look, I’m not going anywhere. Okay? I promise. I’m not going to leave. Easy there, big guy.”

_“Mate,”_ The pureblood insists.

“Yeah. I’m your mate,” What is that odd, light tingly sensation that overwhelms him at those words? His heart is all fluttery, and jumpy like insects are dancing around in his belly. Zero hates it. He hates the way that he doesn’t want to leave his position, wanting instead to remain there enclosed in Kaname’s arms.

This isn’t right, though. 

Zero wants the Kaname who reserves his smiles only for the hunter, the Kaname who would stay up all day watching movies that he doesn’t like but instead tolerates for Zero and Ren. The Kaname who loves nothing more than to tease and fluster him but would grumble like a child when Zero wriggles out of his arms to leave for work the next day. Zero wants _his_ Kaname—not this thing in front of him.

“Come back to me, Kaname,” Zero begs in a whisper. The pureblood’s breath is heated against his neck as minutes pass by in silence. After a while, Zero starts to genuinely worry if Kaname will ever return to normal, when-

“Zero?”

When Zero pulls back to look at the vampire in shock, he is relieved to see garnet eyes instead of crimson. He can no longer feel claws against his back either, only the blunt press of fingers. Kaname jerks away from Zero as his actions finally sink in.

“I- am sorry. I caught the scent of another pureblood nearby, and I couldn’t control my instincts to protect you.”

Zero manages to resist slapping him. Only barely though. Instead, he grabs both of Kaname’s cheeks and turns his head to face the hunter in his lap. 

“You fucking _shit!_ I thought I lost you there for a second. Don’t you ever pull that shit again, you hear me?” He presses his forehead against that of the stunned pureblood.

“I’m sorry,” Kaname relents. “I will try not to let it happen again. You have my word. Forgive me?”

Zero leans in to kiss the pureblood in silent acceptance of his apology. Which doesn’t lessen his anger. Not one _bit._ Because what right does this asshole have to make him worry like that?

“ Yes, fine, apology accepted I guess. Let’s go home now. _Please,_ ” He says instead of voicing his thoughts. They’ve both had more than their fair share of excitement for the night.

“Nice night out,” Zero comments as they stroll through the park on the way back to the hunter’s apartment. There’s a mild breeze cutting through the warm air around them and moonlight trickling through the leaves and blossoms of the trees. His feet nearly trip over each other as he walks in uncoordinated footsteps. That and the accompanying blush to his cheeks says that _perhaps_ he had one too many glasses of wine.

“I suppose it is,” Kaname comments from beside him. He’s been quiet since the incident from earlier, scarcely saying more than two words.

Zero’s head is pounding now like someone is hammering away at the inside of his skull. It grows worse with every step. He halts in his tracks and clutches at his head with a hiss when the pain becomes too much to handle.

“Zero? Is something wrong?” Kaname stops beside him, placing a hand on the hunter’s back.

“I’m fine,” He insists, voice sounding distant and shaky to even his own ears. The world is shifting beneath his feet. His tongue is heavy and impossible to move in his mouth. And why does it seem like everything is blurry?

“Zero?”

The hunter tries to look up at the pureblood. Only to gasp as instead of Kaname he sees a horribly twisted version of him, red eyes and large fangs dripping with blood, face twisted into a nearly inhuman snarl. He shoves him back without really meaning to. 

“G-get away!” Zero snarls, words coming out slurred and unrecognizable.

It’s so hard to get anything out when it seems like his throat is closing up. He doubles over, coughing wetly onto the sidewalk for what seems like an eternity. When he finally looks up again, there’s a trail of thick black liquid dripping from his lips and nose.

Kaname only barely manages to catch him before the hunter crumples to the ground.


	17. Chapter 17: Running out of time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the end, we all fall victim to our own mortality. Zero is no different in this and time stops for no one.

Overtime is by far among Kaito Takamiya’s most hated things list; which is saying a lot, considering he’s worked at Cross Academy. So, he nearly jumps in joy when he heard his phone go off. Finally, the excuse he’s been waiting for to put off paperwork.

“Hey, Zero,” He drawls with a smile in his voice.

“Takamiya.”

Kaito stiffens in his seat at the sound of _that_ voice, his grip on the device tightening. “What the hell are you doing with Zero’s phone?” 

“Believe me, I enjoy this about as much as you. But, Dahlia was not answering her phone when I called her, so I’m forced to settle.”

Of course, she isn’t, she’s out of the country and not due back for another three days at the latest. _Dumbass,_ Kaito chides internally. Then follows the thought, _What the hell do you want with a witch?_

“I find myself in the precarious situation of needing your help, Takamiya,” Kaname confesses.

“You need _my_ help?” The hunter echoes. Is this some sort of hell? Is that it? Has he died, and this is his eternal torment? “What could you possibly need fro-“

“There’s something wrong with Zero.”

Now that is enough to get his attention, all anger dissipating from him as he jerks to attention. “What do you mean?”

“He’s unconscious. There’s some type of black liquid leaking from his mouth and nose-“ There is a muffled curse and a rustling noise in the background. “He’s convulsing.” 

The pureblood sounds more panicked than Kaito has ever heard him. Which is saying a lot. After all, this is the same man who had slaughtered over a dozen people in one breath without batting an eye.

His blood runs cold. _Those symptoms… no, it can’t be…_

“Shit, okay. Bring him to the association. I know someone who might be able to help.”

“Might?” 

“Look, just get him here _now, okay?_ Unless you want him to die that is. _”_

Kaito hangs up on the call and is already out of his chair and racing through the doors. Dahlia may not be around, but she wouldn’t be much help in this scenario anyway for all that she knows of the healing arts but there might be someone even better on hand. Now he just hopes it’ll be sufficient.

The hair on Kaname’s nape stands on end at the vague hum of electricity that passes over him when he walks through the wards of the Association. A few hunters linger in the lobby, and they don’t bother to hide their disdain when they look at him. It doesn’t help that he has their unconscious president in his arms.

This building is unfamiliar to him, unlike the previous headquarters. His hold on Zero tightens at the smell of so many hunters around him, and it takes a lot to keep from giving in to his fight or flight instincts. Zero is growing ever paler, and the viscous liquid continues to bubble forth from sealed lips. 

Kaito waits for him in the entryway, alongside a tall but somewhat plump woman with a bright head of fiery hair tugged back into a messy braid, wearing the same pendant as Dahlia around her neck, but unlike the other woman, the redhead is clad in a flowing dress of earthy browns and greens. There’s a perturbed frown on her lips when she sees him.

Kaname’s glare digs into Kaito, waiting for some explanation.

“Right. Kuran? Ava. Ava? Kuran. Ava here is one of our best healers. If anyone can help Zero, it’ll be her,” 

Kaito introduces with a flippant wave of his hand as he takes in the man in the pureblood’s arms. A grimace covers his face at the sight of his friend and he only barely avoids retching around the tight lump of apprehension in his throat. Zero looks like absolute shit, and it hasn’t even been more than a few hours at worst. That… does not bode well.

Ava. Where has Kaname heard that name before? He seems to recall Zero’s friend, Dahlia mentioning someone by that name, but it’s not until he catches a glimpse of a band on her finger that it finally clicks into place.

“Pleasure,” Ava returns with the briefest flicker of a smile. “No time for chattin’ now though, I’m afraid, follow me.”

Kaname trails after the woman with Zero in his arms as she leads him through the long maze of hallways with Kaito following behind them. A few hunters sneer or reach for their weapon as he passes with evident distrust and ordinarily, Kaname might flash his fangs or his eyes to startle them but he’s in no such joking mood tonight. The only thing he cares about is the man in his arms right now, everything else is insignificant.

He follows after Ava through carpeted halls adorned with elaborate light structures and mahogany walls, silent as a ghost. 

Finally, she brings them to a stop inside of a room that’s nearly completely bare save for a small wooden bed with a thin mattress, pillow atop it and a few chairs nearby.

“Haven’t had much of a chance to set up a proper infirmary yet. So, this’ll have to do,” She says. “Put ‘em down there, sugarplum.” She directs, jabbing a finger at the bed before hurrying over for a closer look.

“What is happening to him?” Kaname questions as he sets his mate down on the bed, another trail of black liquid seeping from his lips down his chin while his fingers twitch and spasm.

“Hopefully I can find that out. How long has he been like this?” Ava asks, ignoring his question as she looks down at the unconscious hunter with a frown, peeling open his eyes to take a glimpse at them before letting them fall closed once more. Her hands gingerly poke and prod at the hunter in her examination.

“Two hours.”

She clucks her tongue and pulls back to fold her arms. _Two hours and he’s already like this. Sugar honey iced tea._ The woman drags her gaze from her patient long enough to glance at the pureblood. “What do you know about Hunter’s Bane?”

Kaname narrows his eyes, figuring she’s toying with him now. He’s sure of it. “I know that it is tasteless and odorless. It’s deadly to hunters, yet it won’t even affect anyone else. It’s also a myth. Nothing more than a legend.”

Ava mutters something that he doesn’t catch and blows a strand of red away from her face. “Well, you’re half right. It _is_ tasteless and odorless, lethal to hunters but innocuous to everyone else. It ain’t a myth, though.” 

“What?” He only barely resists the impulse to snap at the woman, reminding himself that this isn’t _her_ fault and it’s not fair to take his frustration out on the one woman who’s trying to help. But he is tired of his questions only being met with more questions. He needs _answers._

“Think about it for a second. A substance that is nearly undetectable with no known cure or antidote that’s toxic to us hunters? Ain’t no way hunters could have that out and known. So, we erased nearly any traces of its existence and spread the rumor ourselves of it being nothing more than a legend. It ain’t easy to make. Brewing it alone takes at least a month. _But_ if one could get their hands on a list of ingredients and preparation instructions, they could make it, in theory.”

“And you think someone poisoned Zero with it.”

Ava chuckles without humor. “Hun, ain’t many poisons out there that cause _this._ Certainly not in two measly hours,” She says, gesturing to the black liquid. “He’s lucky though. Any normal hunter would probably have been long dead by now.”

“Zero is far from a normal hunter,” Kaname murmurs.

“That, he is. Fortunately for us, that’s a good thing. It helps that the dose might also have been slightly miscalculated, I reckon.”

“So, what can we do?” Kaito finally snaps, Ava raising an eyebrow at the interruption.

“Well, as I said no antidote for Hunter’s Bane exists. But no one has ever tried giving it to a hunter who is _also_ a vampire before. I suspect the reason for the convulsions is because Zero’s body is fighting it. His vampiric nature is fighting against the unseen threat in his system. He’s just too weak from lack of feeding to fight back with his full strength,” She explains slowly and with palatable dislike, as though the man is a child. She turns back to address Kaname. “I _may_ have an idea though.”

Kaito scoffs from across the room. “Oh, great. We have an _idea._ ”

“If you got any better plans, I’m all ears. Otherwise, I’d encourage ya to keep yer mouth shut ‘fore it gets ya into trouble and let me do my damn job,” The witch shoots back with a rare venom in her voice. Most of the time she can tolerate Kaito, but this is not the right time for his sarcastic quips. The hunter stiffens at her words and looks away with a set jaw, chastised.

“What is this idea?” Kaname cuts in, his voice sounding alien to his own ears. But he’ll take any idea, any plan at this point. How is he supposed to even think without Zero there beside him? He’s operating on auto-pilot, scarcely aware of his own actions.

“You’re a pureblood, ain’t ya? I reckon that if ya feed Zero your blood, it might be ample enough to awaken his vampiric healing capabilities and grant him the energy needed to neutralize the toxin. A little vampire ‘pick-me-up’, if you will.” 

The pureblood frowns, not liking the uncertainty coloring her voice. But try as he might, there are no other options presented before them. 

“And this will work? You are sure that this will save him?” It’s so, so hard to breathe at the moment. 

She gnaws on her lower lip and worries the pendant at the base of her neck. 

“I can’t be sure,” She warns. “Ain’t no one ever taken Hunter’s Bane and lived to tell the tale. But right now it’s the only chance we’ve got, and it’s as good a shot as any.” 

There is no mistaking the apprehension in her stare as she glances at Zero. To be honest, she isn’t holding out much hope. She’s seen what hunter’s bane is capable of only once before and she’d give damn near anything to un-see it if she could. But there’s still a chance—however slim - and as long as that chance exists she knows she’ll do anything in her power to save the man, healer or not.

Kaname’s face is taut in tension and worry as he looks upon his mate, pale and cold among the sheets. _I only just got you back. I will not lose you this soon._

The pureblood brings his wrist up to his mouth, fangs biting into the soft flesh before retracting as warm blood pours from the wound. He leans down and pries Zero’s lips open enough to place his flesh against the man’s lips.

Ages pass or at least it feels like it. Kaname can feel his blood dripping into the mouth of the unconscious hunter below and each second that passes without Zero waking up to sink his fangs into the vampire’s flesh only serves to increase his fear. He knows it’s ridiculous to expect such a thing, but a part of him can’t help but hope even as Zero continues to lay silent and limp with a sickly pallor to his skin. The entire image is just _wrong._

“That’s enough,” Ava says eventually.

Kaname nods, removing his wrist from the unconscious man’s mouth, Ava watching from over his shoulder. Her hands hover over the form of his mate with a soothing white glow coming from them.

“Now what?” Kaito prompts with inpatient glances at Zero, as though he expects him to wake up perfectly fine, any minute now.

“I’m going to put Zero in a stasis-like state that will help buy him the time his body needs to neutralize the substance.” 

“You’re sure that he can neutralize it on his own?”

The woman gives a sigh at Kaito and his incessant questions. For a hunter, he somewhat lacks in the most basic of common sense. _Honestly…_

“There’s a reason vampires don’t get sick. Their bodies are remarkably resilient. Any sickness, virus – or in this case, poison can be wiped easily. So as long as he’s strong enough Zero’s body _will_ fight the poison.” _Now we just have to hope that’ll be enough._

“That didn’t explain shit,” Kaito argues.

It takes everything in the witch to stay patient and not snap back. 

“We ain’t really sure why vampires are so resilient or how. It’s hard to dissect a pile of ashes after all and even we ain’t too keen on cracking open a living vampire.” Did Kaito not pay any attention at all in his schooling days? Ava shakes her head.

“How long will it take?” Kaname questions, not moving his eyes from the unconscious hunter. He’s terrified of taking his eyes off of the hunter, as though something will happen to Zero the moment he turns his gaze elsewhere. 

The witch’s shoulders slump, and she takes a deep breath, her green eyes gentle with sympathy. There’s no right answer to that question.

“Well, the answer to that one depends on a lot of things, sugar. At best? Hours. At worst? Days.” She phrases delicately. _‘Course this is all provided that this plan works at all._

Zero looks so small like this. Hell, he looks like death. Kaname’s fingers curl into his palms and leave angry red crescents in the soft flesh, knowing what the witch isn’t saying. How slim the odds are that Zero will even make it. But he can’t lose Zero. He just can’t. Not now. 

_We’ve defied worse odds together, you and I._

Kaito whistles from the doorway and jerks his head in the direction of the hall. “Hey, Kuran. A word, please?”

Much as he detests having anything to do with Takamiya, he needs something to distract him. He can’t do much right now anyway. 

“Of course,” Kaname replies with a brittle smile as he stands and trails after the hunter.

“I’ll be frank. What do you want with Zero?” Kaito demands, leaning back against the wall. He crosses his arms over his chest, defensive.

Maybe it’s the smug tone or the fact that his mate is walking that fine line between life and death in the very next room. Either way, Kaname sees red, and before he’s even aware of it he has the hunter pressed up against the wall, holding him aloft with a hand griped crushingly around his throat. 

“And how is that any of your business, pray to tell?”

“Cut the bullshit,” Kaito grits out with murder swimming in his eyes. “I saw what you did to him back then, and you’re even more insane than I thought if you think I’m going to let that happen again. Don’t forget your place, bloodsucker. If you hurt him again I’ll-“

“You’ll what?” Kaname interrupts, leaning forward into the hunter’s space. “Do not forget your place either, hunter. I have tolerated your presence and your arrogance because, for whatever reason, my mate enjoys your company. That is the only reason why I have not yet ripped your heart from your chest. You are here because of Zero. Nothing more.”

Kaito does such a shoddy job of concealing his jealousy of the pureblood. He always has. Of course, Zero has never picked up on Kaito’s feelings for him either, and Kaname isn’t about to remind him but it’s comical to watch considering he knows there isn’t even the meagerest chance of his mate returning the other hunter’s affections.

“I have made my mistakes in the past. But do not ever insinuate that I would deliberately harm my mate again or you will come to regret it, hunter,” The words are not so much of a threat as they are a promise.

With that, the pureblood drops the hunter who has begun to panic and scratch at his arms for breath. Watching Kaito crumple to the ground, gasping, gives him no small amount of gratification even though Kaito looks murderous at the pureblood’s words. He has no doubt that his status as a pureblood and their current location are the only things keeping the hunter from attacking him right now. 

“People aren’t your fucking property, bloodsucker. Someday you’re going to learn that the hard way. God, what does Zero see in you? You were nothing but horrible to him for fucking years, while _I_ was nice to him. I was his friend. And in the end, he still chose you. Why _you?”_ _Why not me?_

Kaname looks down his nose at the hunter on the floor. “That’s precisely why. You think Zero owes you some type of affection for your kindness, that you deserve his affection when you couldn’t be more wrong. Get this through that thick skull of yours: Zero – or anyone else – does not _owe_ you affection, Takamiya. The sooner you learn that, the better.”

The pureblood sneers down at the man beneath him. Thinking that Zero owes him something for his own choice to be kind to the hunter? It’s a detestable and abominable way of thinking and he can’t imagine how anyone would come to love Kaito with that horrid way of thinking. Kaname shakes his head in pity.

Kaito tightens his jaw as he stands up. God, he still fucking hates the pureblood more than anything. Not only for what he did to Zero but everyone else Kaname has hurt as well. But it isn’t Kaname that’s currently fighting for his life against a poison with no antidote and much as he would like to, he can’t actually pin this incident on the pureblood. 

Someone is going to pay for what they did to Zero. They can fucking count on that much. Even if it means working with the asshole in front of him, he’ll see vengeance served. He wipes spittle from his lips with the back of his hand. _Blood for blood._

“I’ll see what information I can dig up to find out who did this. You two were at dinner, right? Don’t suppose you remember anything about what your waiter looked like?” Kaito questions. _For Zero,_ he reminds himself.

There’s an odd prickling sensation in the back of Kaname’s neck. He tries to recall anything, something about the server, yet nothing comes to mind. Any memories of the person are just… gone. “No, I cannot seem to remember.”

Kaito grumbles and frowns at that but leaves, eager to be out of the pureblood’s presence.

Kaname’s skin still crawls with contempt towards the other hunter. But Kaito is right just this once. There are more urgent things to be done than picking petty fights. He still has to call Seiren to fetch the car he left behind in his haste and have Ren brought to his manor rather than Zero’s apartment. After this attempt on his mate’s life, he doesn’t want to risk the lives of his mate or the younger pureblood.

He isn’t surprised when Seiren returns a while later accompanied by the short teary-eyed form of a young teenager. “Apologies, sir. But they insisted on seeing Zero.”

“It’s fine, Seiren. Thank you.”

The woman nods before turning and disappearing into thin air, leaving the two purebloods alone in the dimly lit hallway of the hunters’ headquarters. Kaname leads the silent child to Zero’s room, a sharp pain stabbing through his chest as they stifle a sob at sight of the man.

“Is he going to be okay?” The question is addressed to him, and Kaname who prides himself on his ability to spin pretty lies finds himself at a loss for words, unable to lie to the teenager before him. 

“I don’t know.”

It’s such a strange sensation, how much he has come to care about this child in the time he’s known them. His heart breaks as Ren’s face crumples and they grip Kaname’s jacket with tight fists, dampness growing where the teenager leans against his chest, staining his shirt.

The pureblood folds an arm around Ren’s waist, hugging the younger pureblood tightly for both of their comforts, knowing he cannot and does not pretend to understand what the child is feeling. But while they risk losing the first person who had shown them a hint of kindness in their life, Kaname risks losing the only person, he’d come to love, and there is a shared sadness between them, but the painful, wrenching sobs coming from Ren are anything but a comfort to Kaname.

Usually, with the stoic mask Ren always wears it’s easy to forget how young they really are, but it’s moments like these that are a painful reminder that they’re still a child at the end of the day, young and vulnerable.

“I-I- he can’t die! They’ll send me back!” Ren panics, burying their hands in their hair and yanking on the strands in frustration until Kaname gently tugs them away.

The young teen’s body shakes with fear against him. _Send you back where? The orphanage? Or somewhere worse?_ Either way, he will not allow such a thing to happen. 

“Breathe, Ren. No one is going to take you anywhere you don’t want,” He assures.

The very idea makes a protective growl build up in his throat, his pureblood side growing indignant at the idea of his family being taken away from him. _When did I come to see Ren as more than just Zero’s child, I wonder?_ “I won’t let that happen.”

The teenager’s muscles relax a minuscule amount at that and Ren pulls away from Kaname to take up residence in the second chair. “I don’t want Zero to die,” They sob. “I want whoever did this to _pay._ ”

“They will, Ren.” _Dearly._

“You promise?”

“I do.”

“ _Good_. I want to help.”

What? “Come again?”

“I want to help find who did this to Zero,” Ren repeats, stubbornly. 

“Absolutely not. Ren, this is _serious._ You could be hurt or worse. I won’t let that happen,” He wouldn’t even be able to look at his mate again if he let something happen to Ren, not to mention Zero would kill him.

“Why not? It’s risky for you too. Zero did things like this when he was my age.”

“Zero also had years of combat training.”

“You can train me, can’t you?”

Kaname rubs at his temples. “Ren, Zero was learning from the time he was old enough to speak, how to fight properly. I can’t teach you that quickly, nor _would_ I when you aren’t old enough to make that decision. Zero didn’t choose to be a hunter of his own volition, he was forced into it. Neither of us want that for you. If by the time you’re old enough to come to an informed decision on your own, you still want to learn how to fight, then possibly. But not before then.”

Ren pouts and folds their arms. “But someone hurt Zero. I want them to pay for what they did.”

“And they will. But it’s just too dangerous for you to be involved, Ren. We don’t even know what we’re dealing with yet and I won’t risk anything happening to you when your powers haven’t even fully developed,” Kaname gently tells them, pulling the teenager closer with an arm around their shoulders. 

“ _Fine,”_ Ren surrenders, not resisting the touch, their head coming to rest on the brunette’s shoulder as both purebloods watch over Zero.

Hours pass like that. 

With Ava hovering over Zero working her magic in near-complete silence save for the humming under her breath and the two purebloods a continuous, silent vigil over the poisoned hunter. A few times, the witch wavers on her feet before shaking her head and righting herself once more.

“Aren’t you tired?” Ren asks the witch, the first words they’ve spoken to her all night. It’s strange though, seeing Ava without Dahlia right there, given that usually both women visit as a pair when they come over. 

Her eyes flicker up to fix the teenager with a weak smile. “I’ve dealt with much more than this, sugar pea. Don’t you worry. I _am_ a bit sleepy but it ain’t nothing little ol’ me can’t handle!”

She turns her gaze to Kaname then. “Tell you what. How about you tell me a story? Keep me awake. I never did hear how you and our little fireball met.”

“I haven’t either,” Ren confesses with eyebrows raised in interest.

“Well, Zero and I did not start out on the best of terms,” Kaname slowly begins with a tiny yet fond chuckle. “The first time he met me, he stabbed my hand with a butter knife, as a matter of fact.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ew Kaito, stop being gross. Fucking "Nice Guys™️" am I right?


	18. Chapter 18: It's getting dark, too dark to see

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava tries her hardest to save Zero as she makes a startling revelation about the poison used on the hunter -- one she's not sure she can fix. And the culprit may just be closer to home than one thinks...

It’s a lengthy day, one of those kinds where hours seem to go on for eons, and you _swear_ the damn clock has begun to tick backward just to piss you off. 

Kaname and Ren remain at Zero’s side, vigilant throughout the long hours, even as Ren falls asleep in the chair after a while. Yet sleep eludes the older pureblood, try as he might to obtain even the slightest bit of rest the pureblood finds he can’t, missing the warmth of his mate beside him too much and the tightening knot of uneasiness in his chest waking him each time he manages to catch a meager measure of rest. Somewhere around the fourteenth hour, he gives up trying altogether and resigns himself to a sleepless day if not two. 

Occasionally the hunter’s body twitches or spasms as he lapses into convulsions and spills more dark liquid over himself. Aya stops Kaname from reaching for him with a stern look, glaring something fierce despite how drained she is. 

In the halls, other hunters walk and stomp past occasionally, deep in thought or conversation amongst themselves. A few times Kaname attempts to converse with Aya, sharing stories between them. 

The witch laughs under her breath, green eyes crinkling at the corners. “So, y’all thought it would be a bright idea to let hundreds of crickets loose in the main building as a _senior prank?”_

“Well, the day class did; and left the night class to clean them all up,” Kaname finishes. At the time Yagari had said it would “help to hone their vampire hearing capabilities,” but he knew the man enjoyed watching them all suffer.

At some point, Kaname asks how she and Dahlia met, curious as to how the two women who are absolute opposites may have crossed paths. An amused smirk tugs at Kaname’s lips, imagining how the two women surely quarreled at first.

“Aw geez, now that’s a trip down memory lane. Must be now... Ten years at least, I reckon. I remember I was working as an apprentice to one of the association’s healers. When luck would have it – a half-naked woman drugged up on anesthesia and covered in bandages came stumbling down the hallway, ranting about aliens trying to take over the world. Thought she had a screw or two loose at the time, and then she stopped to tell me some gibberish that I ain’t even have a chance of understanding. But I think she thought it was flirting.”

“Lovely first impression to make,” The pureblood comments dryly.

“Imagine how _I_ felt. Fortunately, one of the other healers caught her and escorted her back to medical. She showed up a few days after being released, sober and with a bouquet as an apology for her actions and got around to telling me her name,” Ava finishes. “And I suppose the rest is history, as it goes. It’s no butter knife, but it’s something.”

The two continue to exchange stories occasionally, seeking to pass the time or just fill the silence with menial conversation. Kaname isn’t sure what to make of the witch. She’s different than Dahlia – all quiet, deciphering glances in disparity to Dahlia’s blunt remarks and candid expressions. It’s tough to tell what Ava is thinking by reading her face alone, but he can respect that, although she’s an odd woman.

Mostly though, both are content to sit in silence while the witch weaves her magic over the poisoned hunter.

“He’s fighting it. I can tell,” The witch says through a yawn, sometime past noon the following day. “Damn near certain they got the dose wrong though, Zero should have already kicked the bucket by now if it was correct.”

That says a lot. It means whoever did this didn’t know what they were doing for one. Or even to whom, else they would have accounted for Zero being a level D, which indicates poor planning on the part of their assassin. _Incorrect dosing, not knowing that Zero is a level D. Two pieces of the puzzle but damn if I don’t feel like I’m missing something right in front of me…_

“That’s good, isn’t it?” Kaname questions. He isn’t exactly sure what the witch means by “kicked the bucket” but he gets the feeling it isn’t good.

“For us, it is,” Aya agrees with a tired almost-smile. 

The restlessness within the pureblood wrestles with his simultaneous desire to remain at Zero’s side. Much as he yearns to do something, _anything_ to occupy his mind, he knows it’s quite a fruitless effort to try and stay focused on anything or anyone other than Zero. He reassures himself that Kaito is out looking to track down the culprit, which helps a small bit. Although there’s also the fact that he should call Yuuki and let her know what’s happening. No, dragging Yuuki into this situation is the last thing Zero would want. His prideful little hunter, always determined to solve every issue by himself, never dragging others into his business if he can help it.

His hope dwindles by the minute. Zero makes a haunting visage – black liquid contrasting with deathly pale skin. Kaname looks twice just to be sure he’s even alive. A few times during the day he feeds his mate more of his own blood, and he’s no doctor, but he can’t see it doing much good. 

Throughout all of it, there remains a growing, frantic thought in the back of his mind that refuses to leave him be. _You are going to lose him._ Like a record playing on endless repeat in his head, that thought circles repeatedly, not budging one bit. _I’m going to lose my mate before I’ve even gotten the chance to make things right between us. Before I could-_

_No._ That thinking won’t do him any good. He can’t afford such thoughts right now.

“Shit.”

Kaname stiffens out of reflex at the gruff tones of Yagari. Ordinarily, he would have sneered or snarled at the man, but not even he is the kind of man to kick someone while they’re down and the dark circles under his eyes accompanied by the heavy underlying stench of cigarettes said that the hunter has seen better days. 

“Hunter’s Bane?”

“Mhm,” Aya answers in a hum.

“How the hell did this happen?”

“That’s what we’re trying to find out,” Kaname snaps out of reflex more than anything else. “We were at dinner when it happened.”

Yagari shakes his head in dismay and looks away from the still form of the man on the bed, unable to bear the sight without his stomach churning. “Jesus. First Cross and now this. The hell is going on?” 

He does a decent job of covering the worry in his voice with anger, Kaname notes. If he didn’t know Yagari as well as he does, he might not notice how his voice shakes or the way his fingers twitch with the urge to reach for a cigarette to help distract him from his thoughts.

“Something, I’m sure. Ain’t no way this was an isolated incident.”

“If I had to guess I’d say it involves vampires,” Yagari grouses. 

Kaname eyes him with distaste and cocks a brow. “Of _course,_ you would.”

Aya lets out a long sigh as her mossy gaze flickers between the two of them. ““I hardly think it’s that easy, Toga. We can’t go around drawing baseless conclusions and pointing fingers, or we’ll never get anywhere. Besides, vampires seem a bit of an easy conclusion to come to, ain’t it? It doesn’t make much sense that they would risk poisoning the acting President of the hunters when we’re already watching them closely after what happened to the last headquarters.”

“Life isn’t always a mystery novel. Sometimes it really is as easy as it seems.”

The witch rolls her eyes. “Oh, would you hush, Touga? We don’t know right now, so it ain’t no good to speculate. That ain’t going to do nothing but make things worse, and you damn well know it. For now, we’ll keep this hushed and find out what we can,” Aya snaps with a fierce glare. “So, knock it off, both of ya.” 

Kaname looks away from the older hunter with a set jaw, admitting that he is being a bit childish in rising to Toga’s words. 

When he first laid eyes on Aya, she seemed like a gentle, kind woman. He couldn’t, for the life of him, fathom how she loved a rough woman like Dahlia. Looking at her now he can see that she was every bit as formidable as (perhaps even more so than) her wife and he may have been more than a tad wrong in his assumptions.

Yagari frowns once more at Zero’s limp form and for the first time that night guilt twists Kaname’s stomach at having pushed him so much. Zero is almost his son, and he’s facing the potential of losing him _and_ Cross. Can he really blame the man for misdirecting his anger at the pureblood?

Perhaps he shouldn’t have needled him quite as bad as he did.

None of them notice Ren has come to until the quiet teenager speaks with a tremor in their voice. “Uh, what’s happening?”

“Shit!” Aya curses as she drags her attention away from the quarreling men and back to Zero, where the unconscious man is thrashing about, black liquid running over his skin and silver vein-like lines crawling across the skin on his face. “Ren get back!”

Without even thinking Kaname grips the teenager’s wrist and pulls them from the chair, shoving them behind him. 

“What’s happening? “

It’s like some scene from a horror movie, watching blackness seep from Zero’s mouth and eyes like blood as he convulses amongst the sheets, claws shredding the fabric beneath him.

“Yagari, get Ren out of here,” Ava commands.

The teenager starts at that. “What? Why?”

“Ren, I need you to trust me when I say you will not want to see what I’m about to do, sweet pea,” She tells them, urgency spilling into her voice.

Ren nods along and follows Yagari, knowing it’s fruitless to argue with Ava. Even the surly man wears a deep frown as he leads Ren from the room, glancing back at Zero one last time as he does so.

“Grab me the knife on that table,” Aya orders Kaname once they’re gone, jerking a finger towards the wooden countertop behind the man, laden with all matter of jars, vials, scattered papers and the blade glinting in the corner. Kaname grabs it and hands it to the witch with a bewildered expression.

She tears Zero’s shirt down the middle before stabbing the knife shallowly into the skin in the middle of his chest and placing a hand over the wound that has begun to leak black and silvery liquid, chanting in a language unknown to Kaname beneath her breath.

She grits her teeth as she works her magic. _No, I won’t let you have him._ It isn’t clear yet what this magic is precisely, even though it’s _strong,_ fighting against her tooth and nail. But she’ll be damned if she lets Zero go without a struggle. _You will not have him!_

On the bed Zero convulses and writhes, lashing out with his hands, his feet – anything he can. Aya repeats the chanting several times before withdrawing her hand and drawing the knife once more, only to have her wrist grabbed by the pureblood.

“You’re hurting him,” Kaname growls.

“Not by choice.”

The pureblood tightens his grip when the witch attempts to break free, threatening to break the fragile bone. “No – before I let you go, you need to explain to me why I shouldn’t slit your throat for hurting my mate.”

Ava huffs. “That poison is laced with magic,” She explains to the furious vampire before her. “I need to purify his blood and purge it before it’s too late. Now, can you be a doll and hold him down for me?”

“How do I know you aren’t lying to me?”

“Well if we wait much longer, you’ll find out the hard way. If you want to risk it, be my guest.”

Kaname releases her grip on the witch with a lingering glower, warning her that she’d better be telling the truth and moves to grip Zero’s flailing arms, holding them tight to the bed as best he can while dodging blows. 

“You couldn’t have figured this out _earlier?”_

“I may be a witch, but I’m not omniscient, sugar. Just hold him still for me until I can get that magic out of him.”

Sending Ren away turns out to be a good decision, as the process of purging and purifying Zero’s blood proves to be anything but a pretty sight. 

“ _Gaul virthum meria un geniar le!”_

Kaname hasn’t the vaguest notion what language Ava is speaking as she proceeds to chant through Zero’s struggling to fight against it. She slices through Zero’s right palm as she speaks, silvery lines spidering outwards from the cut like veins. The pureblood tightens his grip on Zero, as his foot connects with Kaname’s abdomen.

“ _Cear mai un sertag nin uluth!”_ This time she cuts into his other palm before repeating the process and slicing into his abdomen.

She grits her teeth as Zero’s foot kicks at her thigh and his torso twisting and arching as the foul magics in the poison fought against her, her eyes narrow, yet never one to back down, she continues chanting and cutting into his skin.

A choked breath escapes Kaname as Zero’s nails catch his cheek and he tightens his grasp, gritting his teeth and willing the witch to hurry and finish.

The process takes hours, and by the conclusion of it, both are sporting several new cuts and battle scars. A black eye currently healing on the pureblood’s face and Aya is going to be feeling the bruises on her skin for _weeks_ afterward. They aren’t the only ones who suffered injuries either, Zero is sporting several cuts right alongside both pureblood and witch.

Ava sets the blade down and weaves her magic once more, brilliant white light blooming between her fingers as she moves her hands gently, almost like playing an instrument while murmuring beneath her breath.

_“La eirniah vas ur io pir nah fina lear!”_

With that she brings her hands down onto Zero’s chest, forcing her magic into Zero with all her strength. Zero ceases his fighting and goes limp beneath Kaname’s hold on him as Aya pricks the skin on his shoulder to be sure, breathing out a sigh of relief when only a vivid red bubble of blood appears and all but collapses into the forgotten chair behind her. 

“It’s done.”

“Now what?”

Before Aya can answer that a knock at the door turns out to be Yagari and Ren, the teenager freezing in their steps at the sight of Zero on the bed as dread settles in the pit of their stomach. “Is he- “

The witch manages a fatigued smile, already knowing where the teenager’s mind is jumping to. “Just sleeping’ sweet pea. He’ll be doing a lot of that for a few days, but right now he needs his rest.”

Ren’s shoulders slump in relief, their hands twisting in front of them. “Then he will be alright?”

“I believe so, darlin’.” Still, that doesn’t mean she’s taking any chances. “I’ll watch him while he sleeps just to make sure.”

Ren retakes their seat with a steadfast determination to watch over the man as well set in their expression, as Aya fixes the hovering older hunter man in the doorway with an unreadable gaze. 

“Ah, I’d better make myself scarce,” Yagari says.

The witch raises her brows. “Busy again, Touga?”

“With the kid down and out for a while, someone has to run this place. Got to make sure these idiots don’t kill themselves.”

“Or each other,” Aya adds.

“Or that,” He concedes. “Tell the kid to take it easy for a while, yeah? We’ll hold down the fort while he recovers.”

Kaname represses a smirk, knowing that’s about as close to concern as Touga gets. It isn’t hard to see where Zero got his capacity to suppress emotions quite so well. “I will.”

“Good. I’m counting on you, bloodsucker,” The older man calls over his shoulder before turning on his heel and disappearing around the corner, leaving the heavy smell of cigarettes lingering in the air behind him.

Aya sighs and leans back in the chair as her exhaustion weighs on her. As if it isn’t visible enough in the way her eyes keep fluttering, threatening to close.

Ren falls back asleep after a while, and Aya conjures up a blanket to cover them with a wink.

Pureblood vampire or not, Kaname sighs as his body begs for rest and his throat burns in thirst. Near twenty-four hours without a single blood tablet will do that to a vampire. He’s finding the waiting to be the most challenging part of all of this, watching Zero sleep and not knowing if he’ll wake again or not is a torture he’d never known before now. It’s almost like a twisted sleeping beauty in a sense. Kaname is cognizant of every rise and fall of the hunter’s chest, his heart skidding to a halt every time his mate’s breathing hitches or changes pattern.

Minutes began to seem like ages, each one stretching on for what seems like an eternity. The sun sinks beneath the horizon once more, and the golden hues fade to the blackness of night. Still, Zero sleeps without so much as a tremble of his fingers. 

When Aya grows too fatigued to remain awake for much longer, Kaname offers to take over watching Zero so that the witch can have a brief rest. He busies himself with plans of what he’ll do when he finds the one who did this to Zero, as the witch rests, promising that their death will _not_ be swift.

Ava wakes up not long after she falls asleep, rubbing at her eyes with her palm and yawning. “Did I miss anything?”

“No change, I’m afraid,”

Ava blinks her eyes, squinting at the light in the room and stretches her arms over her head. Her head is still fuzzy in the way that one becomes after a heavy sleep. She always hates that part; how sluggish a satisfying nap makes her. “That’s pretty normal. Nothing to worry about right- “

She pauses, stiffening at the same moment Kaname does as Zero’s fingers twitch. A small noise escapes the hunter’s throat in his sleep before violet eyes snap open.

Zero opens his eyes and blinks a few times before turning onto his side, leaning over the bed and retching onto the floor below, the same thick, obsidian liquid with a silver tinge to it, spilling from his throat onto the floor as horrid noises of him vomiting fill the room.

“Zero?” Just as Kaname reaches for him, flinching as Zero pulls away from him.

Zero wipes his mouth with his hand before studying at Kaname with unfocused red eyes. “Thirsty,” He murmurs.

The pureblood would have snickered at the childlike request were the situation any different, but he’s too relieved to do anything but raise his wrist toward his mate. Zero frowns and instead points towards the pureblood’s neck.

Kaname moves to rest on the edge of the bed and unbuttons his shirt enough for the silver-haired man to squirm closer and run his tongue along the pale flesh sniffing at the flesh, he’s unable to hold back a wince when Zero’s fangs bite into his flesh more violent than necessary. Yet euphoric pleasure soon eclipses the pain as his mate slowly drinks from him. Having one’s blood drank by a vampire is usually a euphoric sensation, don’t get him wrong, but it’s so much _better_ when it’s one’s mate. 

The hunter is practically sitting in his lap at this point, and Kaname brings a hand up to cradle his head to affirm to himself that this was _real,_ that Zero was alive and drinking from him in that moment. The younger vampire drinks in great, hungry gulps for minutes before drawing away and fainting in the pureblood’s arms, unconscious once more.

“That’s normal,” Aya says from where she regards both vampires with a lazy blink. “Just lay him back down again. That might happen for a few more days while his body recovers and expels the lingering poison from his body. Keep feeding him if he asks for it, it’ll help the process.”

Kaname calms his rising alarm at Ava’s words, running a hand through Zero’s hair and settling down beside him, uncaring of how filthy and shredded the sheets are. He leans close to Zero, placing his head on the hunter’s chest. This close to his mate he can feel the rise and fall of Zero’s breaths, and the faint hear the thrumming of his heart, reminding him that his mate still lives, weak and delicate in his arms… but alive all the same. 

_I’ll find who did this to you and kill them._ Kaname vows as he reaches up with his thumb to wipe a stray droplet of blood from Zero’s lips with a fond grin. _Such a messy eater still._

His garnet eyes take in the form of his mate, noting that already color is coming back to Zero’s skin, which was a positive sign. Zero’s silver hair lies spread out beneath him on the pillow, long eyelashes fluttering in his slumber and his plump lips flushed a charming red from his feeding; Kaname can’t help but think he looks like an angel.

Irritation crosses the pureblood’s features as someone beats on the door. It doesn’t smell like Kaito though, which is odd. 

“Come in!” Aya calls.

The pureblood’s gaze narrows in curiosity as a young girl who can’t be older than sixteen enters the room, blue eyes obscured by a pair of glasses with narrow frames and she displays an empty smile that doesn’t reach them, not a trace of emotion in that gaze that digs into Kaname.

He returns her stare with one of his own, a chill racing down his spine. Something about her unnerves him, though he’s hard-pressed to put a name on what it is. Her vacant gaze is reminiscent of a spider crawling over his skin, not pleasant in the slightest.

“Who is this?” Kaname asks, not taking his eyes off the young girl clad in what appears to be a colored uniform of sorts; pleated plaid skirt and a black vest over a white blouse and polished black shoes _tap-tipping_ on the floor with each step. Strange, but the uniform isn’t from any school that Kaname knows of in the area.

Every protective instinct in the pureblood rears its head at her presence, regarding her as a threat to his mate and child. Kaname has never been one to refute his instincts but what threat could a young girl pose? Either way, he doesn’t much like her.

“This sweet little thing is Pippa. She’s somewhat of an apprentice to Dahlia and me,” Aya chirps. “Speak, child if you’ve words to say.”

The blonde girl gives a bow, deigning to move her empty gaze from Kaname to fixate on the witch instead. 

“Hunter Kaito told me to report that he has found nothing in his search for who placed the poison in Zero’s drink, sister.”

The redhead frowns and taps a finger against her chin. “Nothing at all?”

“Correct, sister.”

_Well, that’s peculiar_. But Aya isn’t unduly perturbed about that right now, far more interested by the glassy, thin gleam of silver over Pippa’s eyes, hardly noticeable unless one knew what to look for. The young woman’s face is devoid of any and all emotion, which is bizarre. Pippa is usually a bright and cheerful young woman, the grin on her lips echoed by her eyes, only now her face is blank. 

Even more insulting is the underlying presumption that no one would notice. That _Ava_ wouldn’t notice. _Who are you, and what have you done to my apprentice?_ Ava stands from her chair.

“I think our pureblood would like a moment alone with Zero and I just remembered that I need to water the plants in the greenhouse.” She declares, “Come with me, child.” 

Pippa gives a resolute nod and with a bow towards the pureblood, follows the healer. After she leaves, the pureblood realizes the girl hadn’t been wearing a pendant like Dahlia and Aya, despite the woman claiming her a pupil of theirs. _How odd…_

The greenhouse is a paltry thing contrasted to the former one. Only room for a few rows of vertical planters that crawl with verdant leaves decorating red and purples blossoms—all matter of vibrant hues. Moisture clings to the air, dense with humidity.

“Ain’t these just _lovely_?” Aya croons as her fingers graze the surface of a red rose petal, the plant perking up beneath her very touch.

“Yes, sister.”

As far as she recalls, Pippa hates roses - at least the red ones. The young woman always maintained that the color reminded her overly much of those _things,_ vampires. Aya beckons her with a finger waved in her direction. 

“Come closer, child. Sit with me,” She says, taking a seat on one of the stone benches scattered around the place and patting the spot beside her with an affectionate smile.

The blond girl walks over and lowers herself down beside the older witch, barely even settling down on the stone surface before Aya thrusts a hand out, placing it on the girl’s forehead. _Show me._

Mindwalking is an unusual and unique skill among witches. While they all possess the ability, exceedingly few can master it. As such it isn’t commonly attempted, deemed far too much of a risk. Those inexperienced with the art risk losing themselves in the other person’s mind, driving themselves mad as they lose all sense of self and their mind fractures, unable to withstand the experience of being in someone else’s consciousness. Ava is not among those gifted with the art of Mindwalking unlike Dahlia, but she needs answers, and she needs them _now._ There’s no time to wait until Dahlia returns.

It’s agonizing to be in someone else’s mind, Ava learns that the hard way. It’s _loud_. A million voices are murmuring, shrieking, weeping all while images and videos flickered in and out of life in the desolate space, playing on a perpetual loop. She sees a young girl collecting shells on the beach. A babe crying out for its mother. None of it important.

Aya presses further in an attempt to sift through the twisted threads of the girl’s thoughts. Through a shroud of mist, she sees slim fingers working to twine wires together, mixing colorful chemical compounds into a beaker in jerky, abnormal movements. _How much of this was truly you acting of your own choosing, child?_ She observes the child move once more,placing-

_Oh. Oh no._

She sees slim hands placing some sort of device in a place she recognizes as the former headquarters with a hardened stomach. _Oh, Pippa. Someone’s been in your mind, child, tainting your thoughts with their own design._ It’s challenging to decipher the memories through the thick curtain of smoky mist and the foul presence that clings to everything, smothering the girl’s mind.

Aya grits her teeth and plunges deeper into the memories in determination now to identify out who is controlling Pippa’s actions. It can’t have been Pippa acting on her own, she’s sure of it now more than ever with this odorous, invasive presence infiltrating the girl’s head like a disease. She’s kicking herself for not noticing it sooner, perhaps all of this could have been avoided if she had.

_Tell me, puppet, who is the one pulling your strings? Who controls this would-be assassin?_

She finds the memory she was searching for, ultimately; the memory of a child’s hands pouring a dark liquid into a bottle of wine. Red, vintage, a gift usually reserved for family members or lovers. And this time there’s no murkiness or veil to cover the memory, this one remains clear as crystal.

Before Aya can explore any more of the memory, she’s jerked out of the girl’s mind and hurled back into her own head quick enough to give her whiplash that has her doubling over and pinching her eyes shut as she empties her stomach onto the ground below. As inexperienced with mind walking as she is, Aya can’t shake the disgust washing over her.

_Maggots writhing around in her mouth, crawling over her, delving beneath her skin._ Another shudder wracks her form.

“Hey, you okay?” Ava hears Kaito’s voice at the same time his finger jabs at her shoulder. Beside her Pippa sits placidly, oblivious to all that has just transpired.

She doesn’t know how to answer him. _No._ She isn’t, not in the slightest, after finding out her own apprentice has just poisoned one of her dearest friends and is the one responsible for dozens of hunter’s deaths. But how can she just… _say_ that? She has no evidence aside from the girl’s memories, and no one would accept a witch’s word at face value. At least not the word of _one_ witch, that is. 

Not to mention that odd, haze, and how _strange_ Pippa’s movements had been. That was Pippa, she’s sure of it. _But what about the poisoning then?_ That had certainly seemed like Pippa in control, as much as it pains Ava to admit that. 

Yet Aya can't rid herself of the suspicion that there was another person’s presence lingering in the back of Pippa’s mind, controlling at least part of the girl’s actions. If she confesses now and they punish Pippa for her crimes, they may never find the one behind her actions, they’ll only spook them into hiding. Which means letting Kaname learn of Pippa’s actions is out of the question. He’ll slaughter the girl on the spot for what she’s done to Zero. The witch’s stomach twists. _Damn it._

“Peachy,” Aya replies with a contrived smile. “Guess breakfast didn’t sight right with me. But don’t you worry.”

It makes little sense; Pippa has always adored the association. Why would she choose to harm them? Someone else is behind this, Aya is sure of it. Another witch is the most obvious choice, of course, but that hardly diminishes the scope. For now, she’ll monitor the girl until she discovers a way to draw this mysterious puppet-master out. 

Kaito looks at her, wary with a raised brow. “Right. Well, you might want to see this.”

 

“What do you mean I have to live with this guy?” Zero rasps with a half-hearted glare as Aya enters the room, resting up against the headboard with a fierce glower. 

“I thought we were on good terms,” Kaname protests.

“Yeah, when I was living in _my own space._ ”

Aya sighs. _Oh boy…_ “Zero. Someone just tried to poison you, and they nearly succeeded, hun just because they failed this time doesn’t mean they won’t try again. It just ain’t safe for you to be on your own or return to your apartment that they’ve probably been watching.”

A chill rolls down Zero’s spine at that thought, revulsion at someone watching him in his own home, where he lives and sleeps. Where _Ren_ lives. Oh god, do they know about Ren?

“It’s for your own safety, Zero.” Kaname insists, folding his arms. “We still don’t know who did this to you or why.”

“I don’t know about you, but I think the ‘why’ is rather obvious.”

Kaname pinches at his temples. “Zero, you nearly _died._ Can you not take this discussion a bit more seriously? Your safety is at risk.”

The hunter scowls down at his lap. “That doesn’t mean I’m some fragile fucking damsel! I don’t _need_ your protection.”

“Ah yes, because clearly, you have done such an outstanding job protecting yourself this far.” It’s a low blow, and Kaname knows it, but he doesn’t care. Zero is far too headstrong for his own damn good sometimes.

“It was just one accident, okay? It won’t happen again.”

“One accident is all it _takes_!” Kaname hisses. Does Zero honestly not see how close he came to dying just now? “Don’t be stupid, Zero. You are putting both yourself and Ren at risk by refusing this. I can protect you better this way.”

“I already told you I don’t want your protection! I’m not some simpering maiden!”

“There’s nothing wrong in asking for help, Zero. I am not saying you are defenseless, I’m _asking_ you to let me help you.” Kaname says, torn between lashing out in his frustration and begging at this point. “Quit being such a stubborn fool and let me help you for once!”

The hunter sighs loathe to admit Kaname is right. This is one battle he can’t fight on his own. And… maybe it wouldn’t be so awful to have someone care for once. He glances at the slumbering teenager, knowing if nothing else, he can’t allow Ren to get dragged into this. He’d never forgive himself for allowing Ren to get pulled into his problems.

“Fine,” Zero surrenders, as Kaito pokes his head in the room, waving a white envelope with a wax seal towards Kaname. 

“Oi, your creepy servant told me to give you this.”

Kaname raises a brow and takes the offered envelope from the hunter, glancing at his name written on the back, looped in fanciful black ink. There’s no doubt who it’s from. Zero eyes him as he examines it.

He tears it open and pulls out the card. _Kaname Kuran’s presence is hereby requested by the Vampire Senate_ it reads, a growl rising in his throat as he reads it. _The audacity of these worthless fools, thinking they can demand my presence. Assuming they have the right to ask me for anything? After all, they’ve done?_

“ _Well?_ ” Zero prompts after a fit of coughs, wiping black fluid from his mouth with the back of his hand. “Who is it? Don’t keep us waiting.”

“It seems that I am being summoned by the council,” Kaname confesses.

“You said you never told you them you were back.”

“Because I didn’t,” Kaname fumes. “Which means someone else did.”

“Does it matter?” Zero argues. “Either way you’ll go running to their side, won’t you?” _Like the lapdog you are._

Kaname keeps his expression impassive as the piece of paper bursts into flames and his powers burn the crisp white surface until it’s only a pile of ashes. “No.”

“I’m sorry?”

“I said no, I’m not going,” Kaname grips Zero’s hand and raises it to press a kiss to the back of it, lips soft against the hunter’s flesh. Zero shivers, a protest rising on his tongue, realizing he’s probably filthy, covered in sweat and grime.

“I can admit that in the past I made a mistake of putting the demands of the council above those of my mate, but I won’t make that mistake again. You and Ren are most important to me, Zero, always.”

Hearing the words brings a flush to Zero’s cheeks; he wants to believe that the previous few months they’ve spent together had proven those words, but an immense part of him can’t help but remain doubtful. The part used to the pureblood’s lies and manipulations and refuses to be swayed as easily this time. 

“Yeah. Of course, you’d say that _now,_ ” Zero says. Another fit of coughs wracks his chest and Zero brings a tissue up to his mouth, black liquid droplets coating the surface as he hacks up his lungs. 

Aya clears her throat, reminding both vampires of her presence.

“You’re still weak, so you’ll need to drink regularly while recovering.” She informs them. By the grimace on his face, it’s evident what Zero thinks of that idea, even still he knows better than to argue with the woman who’d just saved his life.

“Right. Got it.” What he wants to ask was whether he’s free to leave, already growing sick of lying in this damned bed.

Aya beams at him and claps her hands together. “Good. So long as you remember that, I don’t see why you aren’t clear to go. But take it easy for a while, okay?”

With that, the witch leaves the three vampires alone. Ren is still sleeping after everything that has transpired, unsurprising considering the teenager sleeps like the dead.

Zero hoists his legs over the side of the bed and tries to stand only to have the world tremble and twist beneath his feet. He stumbles over his own feet before a firm hand steadies him with a grasp around his waist, his heart quickening in his chest. For a minute, he allows himself to relax in Kaname’s grip. 

“I’ve got you.” The pureblood murmurs as Zero finds himself pressed up against the vampire’s chest. 

Those words shouldn’t affect him as strong as they do. But well… Zero falls a lot. He’s never been good at holding himself up, and life has a way of beating one down. It’s been so long since someone was there to catch him.

The hunter’s hand wipes at the moisture in his eyes. But for a moment. Just a moment. He lets himself revel in the warmth of the pureblood, his mate. Zero allows his own hands to raise and wrap around Kaname, wondering if his mate can sense the fear that Zero has been trying so hard to keep hidden.

Because if he’s honest? He’s fucking terrified that someone could come this close to killing him with a poison he hadn’t even known truly _existed._ Someone tried to kill him, and he doesn’t even know who. It could be someone close to him, beside him and he’d never even recognize it until it was too late, as it almost was this time. How can he trust anyone after this? Paranoia creeps up the back of his spine.

The earthy scent of his mate grounds him as he buries his head in the crook of Kaname’s neck, inhaling his scent. How many nights had he dreamed of doing this exact scene only to wake up to a cold bed? Too many to count. Somehow, someway, without him ever knowing, Kaname carved out a place for himself in Zero’s heart.

“I thought I was going to lose you,” Kaname confesses. The words are scarcely louder than a whisper, but Zero hears them like a shout. Suddenly it hits him that he isn’t the only one between them living in fear of abandonment. What an idiot he’s been for thinking so. 

“Like I could ever leave you and Ren,” Zero scoffs in an attempt at a joke, his words coming out much more severe than he intends, which he realizes after the fact, of course. And now he’s made things awkward. Great, of course, he has. 

Kaname tilts the hunter’s chin up. He’ll never get over the way Zero’s gaze makes his heart beat so rapidly in his chest. Zero’s breath never leaves his throat, stolen away as he meets the pureblood’s garnet gaze, butterflies flitting around in his stomach that he knows isn’t an aftereffect of whatever Ava did to his body.

“I’m glad you didn’t,” Kaname whispers before pressing a kiss to his mate’s lips. Zero sighs into the kiss as Kaname’s tongue explores his mouth, shivering when it skims the sensitive roof of his mouth. God, he must taste like death itself right now, but that doesn’t seem to bother Kaname in the slightest, the hunter melts into the pureblood’s embrace, clinging to and tugging Kaname closer, consumed by a desire to have his mate close to him, touching him.

“Me too.” 

They break apart finally, and Zero is feeling stable enough to stand on his own two feet without fear that the ground is going to give way any second now. 

“Let’s go home,” The brunette suggests with a smile.

Zero ducks his head to hide the blush that stains his cheeks at that and watches Kaname lift Ren into his arms with a faint curl of his lips.

“Yeah, let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kaname during this chapter: [](https://imgur.com/U8524Lb)


	19. Chapter 19: So impossible to breathe, when you’re far away from me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero and Ren settle in with Kaname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, y'all. I honestly don't have much to say this week other than as always, I love all my readers and those who bookmark/kudos/comment. Muah! XOXO Sorry for the late update, but chapter 18 was technically 2 chapters that I merged into one, so editing this one took a bit longer.
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> Warnings for this chapter: Heavy discussion of suicide and past attempt near the end of this ch. So please, please be careful if that triggers you!
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> Oh and ya girl started new term at college this week after having the last week off and I already want to scream. Wish me luck, y'all cause I'mma need it!

“You know, sometimes I think you just have a collection of mansions.”

Kaname hums in amusement at that. “You aren’t far from the truth.”

Zero gapes at him and lifts a brow. “You’re fucking with me, aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

The hunter snorts and slaps his lover’s arm. 

“Ass,” He chides though not unkindly.

This manor looks nothing like other Kuran manor that they’d lived in for years after finishing school. Where that one had been wood and antique charm (that bordered on creepy at times), this one was all sleek angles and white marble. A mockery of or tribute to the architecture style of the old world with its towering skyscrapers and concrete kingdoms—but Zero can’t decide which.

And of course, this manor is also situated on the edge of the city, hidden deep within the forest and winding streets like a lost treasure. Zero is positive the Kurans just have a taste for the melodramatic at this point. A long driveway curves in front of the house sealed off from the main road by massive iron gates. Two stone columns line either side of the porch, stretching above a series of stone steps.

Zero raises his brows as he steps inside, craning his head to take all of it in. Dark wood and black metal furniture contrast with the red accents. The one thing it has in common with the other manor is the absence of practically any windows, which he supposes isn’t unduly surprising. A magnificent staircase stares him in the face opposite the entryway, while doorways on both sides open up to what he assumes is a sitting room and a… dining room? It’s a bit hard to tell, but the layout is recognizable to him as well, not quite the same as the previous manor but similar enough for him to find his way around.

“Jesus, how much dough do your folks _have_?” Zero questions, twisting his neck to look at the massive chandelier that sparkles above him with a thousand glittering jewels catching and reflecting the light off their surface.

Kaname chuckles, stepping up behind him. “It’s not unusual for pureblood families to amass quite a lot of wealth over their lifetimes. My family simply chose to use most of it by building safe houses like this one was originally intended as.”

“If _this_ is a safe house, I bet your actual properties are fucking castles or some shit.”

“Not exactly, no.”

Another series of coughs wrack’s Zero’s form before he can respond to that and he lifts a hand to his mouth. It comes away covered with black droplets while a hand rubs soothingly at his back through the coughing fit.

“Are you okay?” Kaname questions while Ren steps through the doorway with a suspicious gaze and a stiff form, ready to bolt at the slightest sound.

“I’m good. But I wouldn’t mind lying down for a bit.”

There’s a lingering frown of concern between the pureblood’s brows. “Understood. I will show you to your rooms.”

He leads both Zero and Ren up the sweeping staircase and takes the left hallway. There’s precious little light in the halls as Kaname walks briskly, taking another left turn at the end which opens to another long hallway filled with dark doors.

“Ren’s room as the last one on the left,” The pureblood announces at the end of a corridor. Knowing how the teenager is, they’ll most likely spend all of their time in there.

“And mine?”

“The third door on the right leads to my own rooms, which you are free to stay in. However, the last door on the right was also made up, should you decline,” Kaname offers.

Kaname offering him a choice? The wonders never cease. But Zero knows what choice he’ll make anyway; it’s difficult to imagine himself falling asleep without the warmth of the pureblood plastered against his back, waking to the clean scent of Kaname’s shampoo and the tickle of brown hair against his face.

He waits until the brunette disappears down the corridor before venturing into Kaname’s room though and is immediately hit with a floral scent coming from a few sticks of incense burning on the wooden desk in the corner. 

A wooden bookshelf sits tall and crowded against the wall, framing the spacious bed in the center of the room and the sheets are all freshly washed, and the bed made by a servant. Black droplets coat the dark, wooden floor as another bout of hacking comes from the hunter. Plush white and red pillows sit on the bed amongst matching sheets and maroon curtains neatly blocking out rays of sun.

After shrugging out of his shoes and coat Zero all but collapses onto the bed, a contented sigh escaping his throat as the smell of his mate invades his nose, and he can’t resist snuggling closer to the center of the bed, chasing it. Within moments the pain and sluggishness of his body vanish as sleep tugs him under.

Zero wakes to the sound of quiet footsteps in the room. There’s no such thing as waking gently when one has been a hunter for as many years as Zero has. His body snaps up from the bed, eyes flying open. Of course, around him, the room lurches, and there’s a sharp spike of pain in his burning throat. His gaze flickers about the place, settling on the tall woman standing by the door.

“My apologies, Kiryuu. I had thought that Kaname might be in here,” Seiren says with a deep, apologetic bow.

“It’s fine, Seiren. And didn’t I tell you not to call me Kiryuu?” His nose scrunches up at the formality in her tone. People only called him _Kiryuu_ when they wanted something from him. “I hate how formal that sounds.”

There’s the briefest twitch of the stoic woman’s lips. “I do recall something like that, yes.”

Zero looks out the window where the golden hues of day are now eclipsed by the night sky and figures it’s time for him to wake up anyway. “How long have I been out?”

“Roughly twelve hours,” There’s an audible pause. “ _Zero.”_

Zero’s head drops to his hands. Okay, definitely missed dinner. Fuck he’s probably worrying Ren and Kaname sick, not to mention the pile of paperwork awaiting his signature and all the other work he must catch up on.

“That long? Jesus. Why didn’t Kaname wake me up?”

“He thought you needed the rest. It was at his insistence that no one disturbs you,” Seiren explains.

He did? Zero’s chest grows warm and tight at that. Kaname Kuran is known for many things—being caring isn’t one of them.

Seiren has never been very expressive, but Zero can tell by the faint twitching of her fingers and the way her feet rock slightly against the floor that she’s as out of place in this conversation as he is. They’ve never been friends, he and Seiren. Not that they disliked each other per se, as mutual respect lingered between them, but they’ve never grown close at all.

“You can go now, Seiren. You’ve probably got things to do.”

“Are you sure you will be alright on your own?”

“I’ll be fine,” He assures her with a brief smile. Somehow a part of him _knows_ that was part of Kaname’s order as well, for her to check up on him. 

“Understood. Then, I shall take my leave,” The woman murmurs through another bow before vanishing into wispy smoke. 

Zero rises from the bed after she leaves, wincing as his bare feet hit the cold floor. A hand rubs at his neck, the raw and sore throat of his burning with thirst even now and there’s a sharp pained ache in his abdomen accompanying the sluggishness that clings to him like a second skin. He imagines he looks as bad as he feels.

The hunter makes his way into the adjoined bathroom and forces himself into the shower. The warm water washing over his skin does little to soothe his pain, but it helps him relax somewhat. He’s not sure how long he spends in there underneath the spray of the powerful jets. When he steps out of the shower and into Kaname’s room once more, a strange sound reaches his ears, making him pause.

A low crooning melody fills the air. An orchestra of strings playing an unfamiliar yet beautiful song. 

Even with his wet hair still dripping over his shoulders Zero can’t resist following the strange song. His feet are soft and silent against the floor as he creeps out into the hall. The melody grows louder as he makes his way down the halls and finds himself entranced almost, as if the tune itself is enchanting him, leading him, yet he doesn’t sense the faintest hint of magic.

Before long he’s wandered into a new part of the manor that he has yet to explore, and the melody’s sweet sound carries, clear as day to where he stands, right before a massive pair of oak doors cracked opened. He can’t resist the urge to peek into the room.

Rows upon rows of wooden shelves filled with books whose covers are too faded to read. In between them lies a small glistening floor of white tile, on which sits a large black piano that Kaname stands next to, holding a chestnut violin to his body, eyes closed as his hands move across the instrument.

A sharp cough forces its way out of Zero’s mouth before he can stop it, more black spittle landing on the floor at the same moment the melody ends.

“I know you’re there, Zero.”

His cover blown, Zero steps into the room knowing it’s useless to try to hide now. Kaname turns to face him, lowering his instrument in the process. Silvery moonlight filters through the crystalline glass windows, giving the brunette a beautiful glow. 

“I’ve disturbed you.”

“You didn’t. I was already up anyway. I got curious is all,” Zero assures him. “I never knew you played,” He says with a jerk of his head towards the instrument. 

“I haven’t in some time. As you said, the council kept me quite busy most of the time. Your comparison to a dog was not far off; it seems,” Kaname speaks with the faintest of smirks painting his lips. “I have missed it. Playing is a comfort for me. It helps calm my thoughts.”

“Would you play something for me?” Zero leans back against one bookshelf as the brunette blinks at him.

“What?” The brunette starts as though the question is entirely unexpected.

“Play something for me. I want to hear your music.”

There’s a softness in Kaname’s gaze as he lifts his instrument once more. Closer now, Zero can see the shape of the Kuran rose curling and flowing, carved into the wood. 

“Very well.”

At first the sound of slim fingers plucking at strings fills the air before the brunette raises his bow and places it to the surface of the violin. A soft, light melody flows through the air. Its gentle sound flows through Zero, right down to his bones. Kaname’s long lashes brush his cheeks when he closes his eyes, pale fingers gripping bow and violin with a delicate touch. For the first time, Zero realizes it’s probably the first time Kaname has ever allowed anyone to see him like this—open, _vulnerable._

A soft smile flits at the hunter’s lips, insects dancing in his belly as he watches the pureblood lose himself in the melody as he plays. The sound of Kaname’s music is enchanting; Zero struggles for words to describe the sweet, crooning sound that fills the air. At some point, his eyes drift closed as he leans his head backward, inviting and allowing the music to take him over.

The music reaches a crescendo before coming to an end far too quickly. Zero opens his eyes and looks at the pureblood in front of him, a soft genuine smile playing at the hunter’s lips as his heart swells with sudden warmth. 

“Beautiful.”

Kaname blinks, focusing on him as though only just noticing Zero’s presence. “Hm?”

“Your music. It was beautiful. I’ve never heard that song before. What is it?”

“It is an original one that I wrote myself. I haven’t given it a title yet.”

“You’re just going to have to play it again for me then until you have a title,” Zero decides.

“Yes. I suppose so,” The pureblood agrees with mirth dancing in his eyes.

Zero opens his mouth with a witty retort on his tongue, freezing as sudden white-hot pain blooms through his chest. The calm expression melts off Kaname’s face as the hunter collapses to the floor. 

He’s not sure it can be called coughing anymore, as more black liquid spews from his mouth onto the pristine white floor. Nothing has ever hurt this much in his life; it’s like there’s a fire in his esophagus and there’s precious little Zero can do but cough his way through it all as more and more of the vile substance lands on the floor in front of him. 

“Zero!” Suddenly Kaname is there, crouching beside him with a hand on his back. “Shall I call for someone? You need a doc- “

“No!” Zero forces out, his hand gripping the pureblood’s wrist with an ironclad grip. “No d-don’t call anyone.”

He can tell Kaname wants to argue with that, the air is bitter with his mate’s aura of worry and _fear._ In a few moments, the strange episode stops though, and the pain disappears from his chest. He coughs a bit more moments, but it’s a dry cough this time. Zero only barely stops himself from collapsing into the pile of liquid on the floor. 

“I think it’s over,” He rasps.

No sooner than the words have left Zero’s mouth does he find an arm wrapping itself around his waist and helping him over to a nearby window seat. Zero gratefully collapses into the seat, wiping at his lips with his sleeve and leaning against Kaname’s shoulder as the pureblood places a protective arm around him. He just woke up, but already it seems his energy is completely and utterly gone.

“’M thirsty,” The hunter groans.

“Then drink,” There’s a not-so-subtle tilt of the brunette’s head at that, showing the pale skin of his neck. 

Zero is too tired to protest, so drink he obeys, breaking the delicate skin with his fangs and drinking. He drinks and drinks until his stomach is satiated and the burning in his throat disappears. Only then does he retract his fangs and lick the wound until the flesh stitches itself back together. He leans his head on Kaname’s shoulder, tipsy from the taste of his blood and licks the remainder from his lips.

“You know, it’s funny. I used to want to die once upon a time,” There’s something so casual, so indifferent in Zero’s tone and it makes Kaname grow hot with anger. Those words are not something to be taken so lightly.

“I know,” The pureblood says. Oh, how he knows. He also knows that his own actions contributed to those feelings within his mate, and he still hasn’t forgiven himself. But if Zero is willing to talk about it, surely that is a step in the right direction?

“Yeah,” The hunter snorts. “I guess everyone does _now._ ” News of his accident had spread throughout the school like wildfire, and he grew to hate the different looks of pity people leveled at him.

“You don’t usually like to speak of… back then. Something on your mind?”

“I guess. I don’t know. Just- about a month ago, there was an incident that hit a little too close to home.” It’s weird giving voice his thoughts like this. Yet it’s like a weight slowly being lifted from his chest at the same time. Being blood-drunk always has made him talkative and it seems this time is no different.

Kaname turns to look at Zero, not a trace of judgment in his gaze. “I’m here to listen if you wish to talk.”

“There was a girl,” Zero begins. “Maisie Williams. She was a ray of sunshine, always smiling and laughing. Her sister, Laura, was lost in the explosion at HQ. But Maisie put on a brave face, even when picking out her own sister’s casket. She seemed _fine_ when I talked to her. The grief tore her up, but I never thought-“ It’s hard to get the words out, past his tightening throat.

“The day after the funeral, I asked about her. Do you know what I was told? She drowned herself in the bathtub. It- it was so damn hard to believe that the girl who had seemed fine, perfectly healthy and composed was now _dead._ There’s something so surreal about finding out that someone you’d just spoken to days before was now… gone. You won’t ever be able to talk to them again. Hear them laugh or see them smile. They’re just _gone_. What do you _do_ with that information?”

The hunter clears his throat. “I found out after the whole thing that she was a witch. Dahlia didn’t blame me, of course, but sometimes I think it would be better if she did.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I didn’t sleep that night. I kept thinking, it was my fault somehow. That there was something, some _sign_ that I should have- have seen and done something about. I kept asking myself if maybe I’d been a bit warmer towards her, she wouldn’t have done it, or if she’d at least had someone to _talk_ to.”

“Zero,” Kaname admonishes. “There is no use in thinking like that. It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have prevented that girl from killing herself, and you know that.”

“Maybe,” Zero relents. Because he’s not ready to admit that much to himself yet. “I just…” He trails off while the fingernails on his right-hand pick and scratch at the silver sliver of skin running along his left forearm. The action doesn’t escape Kaname’s notice.

“You saw yourself in her,” He surmises.

“Yeah, I guess I did. I remembered being so helpless back then. It was like I was locked inside of my own head, screaming and begging for someone to help me. No one ever heard me though. How could they? Eventually, I couldn’t keep fighting a losing battle on my own anymore. Did Maisie feel like that? Was she screaming on the inside, silently pleading for someone to help her?” 

Zero’s hands shake at his own words. Because he knows that she did, that she _was._ And he didn’t even fucking notice and now? Now it’s too late.

“That doesn’t mean you could have stopped her. That anything you said or did would have made a difference. It likely wouldn’t have,” they're harsh words, but truthful ones and Kaname only wishes Zero would realize that.

“You’re probably right,” Zero knows all too well that once a person gets to that point, it’s nearly impossible to stop them. They become committed to the idea of taking their own life, infatuated with death, seeing no other way in front of them and well… it takes a lot to bring someone back from that edge.

Kaname’s hand covers the hunter’s, his thumb brushing over the smooth scar on Zero’s arm. He remembers that night more vividly than he would like to. The thick, scent of Zero’s blood hitting his nose followed by his heart freezing in his chest.

_The bright flash of lights and the noise of sirens met Kaname as he neared the chairman’s house. He rushed past the uniformed paramedics, heading straight for- “Yuuki.”_

_She turns at the sound of her name, face red and blotchy with tears. “Kaname! Zero, he- he-“_

_“What, Yuuki? What happened?” He asks, gripping her shoulders more tightly than necessary, but he needs answers._

_Another sob wracks her frame before the girl manages to pull herself together enough to speak. “He tried to kill himself.”_

“Do you still think about it?” Kaname asks.

Zero knows better than to try to lie to the brunette by now. He tips his head back against the window and stares up at the ceiling. 

“Sometimes. Sometimes everything just gets to be too much, too loud. Sometimes I just get in a bad place in my head, and I can’t stop my thoughts from spiraling down.”

Kaname’s grip on his arm tightens enough to make him glance up at the pureblood. “Promise me that you won’t try to kill yourself again, Zero.”

Oh… is that what he did? It’s not- it wasn’t on purpose. It was just a mistake. Yes, a mistake and by the time he’d realized what he’d done there had been so much _blood_. But it hadn’t been on purpose. An accident. That was all it had been. And yet-

“I _can’t_.”

“Then at least promise me that you will tell me if you feel like you are going to?” Kaname isn’t generally reduced to begging, but he’s inclined to make an exception for Zero. Always for Zero. “Promise me that you will talk to me, darling. Let me help you.”

Zero isn’t sure he’s ever seen the pureblood this intense before. About anything. A strange warmth floods his chest. 

“Alright. I promise I’ll talk to you if I ever feel like- like _that_ again,” It wasn’t on purpose. It _wasn’t._ He wouldn’t harm himself like that. It had just been an accident. But if it makes Kaname happy, he’ll play along for now. “Happy?”

The pureblood crushes him to his chest in a hug that will leave bruises. “I will not lose you again, Zero. Even to yourself.”

“My dashing hero, ” Zero murmurs sardonically as slowly, but surely the very first rays of dawn begin to peek over the horizon. His eyelids start to drift closed again, and Kaname lifts him into his arms, Zero’s head falling against the warm surface of the pureblood’s chest as the brunette carries him off to his—no, _their_ room. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, for those wondering, Zero remembering his suicide attempt as an 'accident' is based on a personal experience of mine with a family member.


	20. Chapter 20: Try to get back to what we need

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaname lets the council know where they stand and who it is that really holds all the power.

Muggy night air lay steady over everything and makes the branches of trees dance beneath its caress. This far north and so close to the city, lightning bugs are a rare sight, but they aren’t often needed; the stars providing a show of light all on their own. The low sound of crickets chirping and bellowing frogs drifts in through open windows where hunter and vampire lay. It’s a lazy sort of night, the kind in which nothing gets done because you’re too busy lounging around and listening to the cacophony of nature.

Zero’s head is pillowed on Kaname’s lap where he lays on a plush chaise, attempting to focus his attentions on the book in his hands. An attempt currently being thwarted by slim fingers massaging his scalp, combing through his hair.

Of course, the peace has to be broken by something or someone. In this case, it’s the latter – Kaname’s fair-haired servant comes bearing another letter with a crisp wax seal on its surface, handing the message to the man before taking her leave.

“You can’t avoid the council forever,” Damn it, Zero hates when he has to be the adult in the situation, but he knows the council and the more Kaname ignores them, the louder they’ll get. 

“Can’t I?”

“You and I both know you can’t.”

“Why ever not?”

“Because they’re a bunch of rich assholes used to getting their way, that’s why.”

Kaname hums. “That’s not a very compelling argument for why I should leave my sick mate to deal with their petty squabbles.”

“ Hey - I’m not a dog,” Zero protests. “ Besides, they’ll keep bugging you unless you waltz in there, tell them to go fuck themselves and walk back out. Boom. _Done._ ”

“I’m afraid it isn’t that simple.”

“It _could_ be that simple.”

Kaname chuckles at Zero’s idea and would love nothing more than to do exactly as he suggests.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright on your own? It hasn’t even been a week,” Kaname questions with a severe furrow between his brows.

Zero rolls his eyes at the pureblood’s antics, not that he can blame him for being protective but still. 

“Babe, you’ve got this place decked to the nines with guards and servants and I think I _know_ how to defend myself. _If_ someone tries anything, I’ll be ready.”

Kaname frowns, unsure whether or not he likes those odds; he loathes the idea of leaving his recovering mate at the manor alone after he nearly lost Zero. Zero is right though; the council will only persist the longer he ignores their summons and much as he would enjoy doing so, this isn’t something that can be put off forever.

“Fine, I’ll answer their summons under the condition that you agree to try and eat something.”

“That’s cheating, but if it’ll get you to stop breathing down my neck every goddamn second then fine, I’ll try and hold something down, _your highness._ ”

“Thank you.”

Silence falls in a deafening roar around Kaname as soon as he sets foot in the room, invisible tension rippling around the table like thundering waves against a shore. None of them are fooling him one bit with their calm facades, it’s so easy to see the way they’re quaking in their boots at his appearance. Well, it’s good to see they haven’t forgotten what happened to the _last_ council.

All eyes glue themselves to him as he steps to his seat at the head of the table, the tapping of his shoes against the hardwood floor echoing throughout the room. Yuuki sits rigid and stiff in her old seat on his righthand side, hands white-knuckled where she grips her skirt. So much work, so many years of effort that she’s put into changing things – all undone by her brother’s mere presence, and she is reduced to back to fading into the shadows once more, nothing more than a measly spare for _Kaname._

The man who has taken over as main speaker in Asato’s place is an older man with salt and pepper hair that’s pulled back by a ribbon, he quickly rises, eager to be the first to greet Kaname.

“Highness, you’ve returned!” He exclaims with a grin that’s just a _tad_ too sharp. 

“Indeed, I have.”

“Why haven’t returned to us sooner? We have heard news that you returned from your furlough some time ago.”

“Because I was spending much needed time with my mate,” Kaname replies with a glint in his eyes, daring this man to speak against him. 

To speak against anyone’s mate is a dangerous thing in and of itself, but to speak against the reigning King or Queen’s mate? That is tantamount to treason and would be grounds for dismissal from the council at the very least.

“Ah, yes. Yes, of course,” The man whose name Kaname no longer remembers, says with a forced chuckle. “Does this mean you will be resuming your position as head of the council?”

“Yes,” Is that not obvious in the way he stands before them now? _Idiots._

“Forgive me, but I seem to have forgotten your name, speaker. Do kindly remind me.”

Mr. Ponytail’s lips thin at Kaname's words and the underlying implication alone that he’s _forgettable_ , unimportant is enough to make his cheeks flush a furious red - were he not in front of present company, that is. 

Kaname suppresses a smirk.

“Noboru, sire. Noboru Williams.”

“Williams?” That is not a name often heard in the north. More basic names such as ‘Williams’ ‘Roberts’ and such – most often without any real meaning behind them, are native to the peoples in the southern countries that are known to keep to themselves. 

“Yes, sire. My father was from the south.”

“I see,” 

Kaname couldn’t care less whether the man’s father was from the south or anywhere else in the world. But nothing puts a pureblood on edge quite like someone looking a little too closely at the, digging too deep into their past. And Kaname does so love to watch these blithering morons squirm like fish on a hook. 

“You may be seated now.”

The man takes his seat with a grateful bow and Kaname takes a moment to let his gaze drift slowly over the remaining council members. Isaya and Kairin are new faces he knows only because of Yuuki’s mention of them, but the rest are the same aging men and women with archaic fashion and even more outdated opinions he’s sure. Once you’ve met one, you’ve met them all.

An older woman whose straw-colored hair is pulled over her shoulders and whose mouth is framed in lines from years of frowning, clears her throat. _Victoria something or other,_ the pureblood vaguely recalls as he gestures for her to speak. 

“If I may, sire, now that you’ve returned to us once more and assumed your rightful position as leader-“

Yuuki’s jaw tightens so hard it threatens to break.

“Might we discuss the topic of your mate?” She phrases the question politely, yet there’s no mistaking the way she spits the word ‘mate’ like a poison, with shrewd green eyes. 

“What about Zero did you wish to discuss?”

“Well, there is the matter of heirs, sire. As far as we knew, you and your previous mate are no longer involved, so we wished to discuss the prospect matches for you to mate with to ensure proper heirs.”

“How did you come to hear my mate and I are no longer ‘involved?’” Kaname asks the woman with a steady calm voice, even though there’s to mistaking the way it cuts through the air like a knife.

“I- beg your pardon?”

“You heard my question, did you not? I do so hate repeating myself. _Answer me._ ” 

Unexpectedly, it’s Kairin who chooses to speak up then, in Victoria’s place. 

“Your Highness, what she means is that it’s no small secret that your mate chose to leave your company many years ago,” She pauses before looking over at the other woman who is only now beginning to see how dreadfully she’s misstepped. “ Yet, _I_ for one wish you nothing but the best for both you and your mate, sire. Especially given that it is, after all, hardly any business of mine.”

Victoria’s face falls as she realizes the woman she assumed to be her ‘savior’ in this conversation is not at all on her side, while Kairin maintains her gentle smile with a cordial nod in Kaname’s direction. 

“Thank you, Kairin,” He offers to the woman, before turning back to the blonde whose face has turned ashen pale.

“So, you wish for me to mate with a woman instead of a man.”

“I-It is not only about that, sire. It is only your previous mate was- _is_ a level D. Such a thing is unheard of!”

“It _was_ unheard of until now, you mean. I’ve had enough of this farce, so allow me to be perfectly clear for once and for all; Zero Kiryuu is and always _will_ be my mate, and regardless of what anyone says I will not take another. Any harm that comes to my mate or his child will be met with swift action. I want no more mention of this topic, am I clear? After all, I shudder to imagine another among us meeting the same fate as Ichijou, don’t you agree?”

All the other council members blanch at his words, stiffening in their seats. It’s a lie, of course, but one that he is more than willing to use to his advantage. Let them assume he killed Asato if it finally gets them to leave him and Zero alone.

“I- Yes, Your Highness. I agree. I understand,” Victoria stammers out, souring the air with the overpowering odor of fear as Kaname stifles a grin.

This conversation has been a long time coming. Years now they’ve been trying to coax him towards a female mate; frequently said mate in mind was a daughter or granddaughter of one of the council members – all trying to pawn their own blood off to him like a piece of meat rather than a person. Each time he denied them he could feel their frustration brewing beneath the surface until they tried once more, thinking his answer would change and being met with his blunt rejection every single time. Over and over again.

Until now. Zero was right when he said Kaname obeyed the whims of the council far too often, that they were bold enough to suggest that the pureblood leave his mate is evidence sufficient of that. They wish to control him like some kind of personal lapdog, operating under the false belief that they can tame a _wolf._

He doubts that this will be the last he hears of this topic, not by a long shot. But he will not be as patient or as lenient the next time around. He will ensure they remember who is in charge, be it one way or another.

“If you will, we have quite a bit on the agenda to discuss this week everyone,” Yuuki speaks from beside him. “Now that my brother has returned, we should take this chance to celebrate with a ball, no?”

 _Clever,_ Kaname admires _._ Purebloods enjoy two things above all others: the chance to exert their dominance and reign over others was first and foremost and secondly, was the chance to showcase their wealth and flaunt it. A ball would allow them an opportunity for both, as evident by the excitement in the eyes of many council members. The topic of Zero and Kaname’s mate was seemingly forgotten in favor of a spirited discussion over planning the event.

Kaname inclines his head towards his sister, who flashes him a grin. 

The rest of the meeting that follows is rather dull and several times Kaname almost falls asleep, woken only by Yuuki’s foot harshly connecting with his shin. Color schemes, venues, menu items, attire. Kaname couldn’t care less so he leaves most of the choices to the council, already dreading attending the event. But if it placates them, he will make the sacrifice for Zero.

Briefly, they discuss a few more events that have happened in the months since their previous meeting. A fight between a hunter and a night class student had broken out at Cross Academy but was resolved peacefully. 

To the chagrin of his council, Kaname turns over a hunter suspected of murdering several noble vampires to the association for judgment. 

Yet ultimately it’s a dull meeting that amounts to not much more than that. Finally, Kaname deems it time to call the meeting to an end, and he does so with gratitude. The council members take their sweet time in bidding goodbye to one another and especially to the King, before filing out of the room.

It isn’t a surprise to see Yuuki hovering outside the council chamber doors, her foot tapping impatiently against the ground. Being the last one to leave, Kaname motions the guards away as he pauses in front of his sister.

“What were you _thinking_ in there?” She demands, fixing her hands on her hips. “My brother would never have lost his composure so easily in front of the council!”

“I know I lost my temper, I don’t need you pointing that out for me,” Kaname snaps before remembering who he’s speaking to and immediately regretting his harsh words. “I’m sorry, Yuuki, but I haven’t exactly been thinking straight lately.” _Or rationally._

Kaname confesses, getting a whiff of a strange powdery scent beneath his sister’s perfume, one that’s new and strange, while faintly familiar at the same time. Most likely a new brand she’s trying.

“When do you ever?” The woman mutters. “It’s because of what happened to Zero, isn’t it?” She surmises with a cocked brow. “Oh, yes, I’m aware he was poisoned - no thanks to _you,_ of course. Ruka told me after she found out through Dahlia. Were you even going to tell me at all?”

“I didn’t want to worry you, that’s all.”

“And you didn’t think that I would worry _more_ when I had to find out through a friend that my brother had been poisoned?!”

“I didn’t think-”

“No, evidently you didn’t _think_!” Yuuki snaps. “How is he?”

“He is recovering relatively quickly, now that he’s feeding regularly again. I truly am sorry for not telling you, Yuuki. I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

“Good, that’s- good at least. I’m still angry at you for keeping it from me, but I suppose there _may_ that I might be persuaded to forgive you.”

There it is - that tiny curl of the lip that all Kurans possess and that shiny glint to her eyes that suggests she had indeed inherited both of her parents’ cunning. 

Kaname sees himself in the woman before him, and he can’t help the swell of pride in his chest at the smart woman the once-naïve school girl has blossomed into. She has learned how to play the game like all other purebloods while he was gone all those years, and she had learned well.

“Follow me,” The woman orders, waltzing past her brother with a flutter of chocolate locks and not checking to see if he was following.

A short while later Kaname finds himself hovering behind the woman in a brightly lit shop that he’s shocked is even still open at this late hour. His foot taps against the checkered floor of the ice cream parlor behind his sister. 

“One large sundae and a large vanilla cone with sprinkles, please,” Yuuki chirps.

The tired worker behind the counter makes the order within a matter of minutes and hands both to the brunette woman while Kaname steps forward to pay for it all, thanking her with a brittle smile before trailing after Yuuki, who shoves the ice cream cone at his chest.

Kaname grimaces but takes a seat at one of the tables with her, the place completely empty save for the vampires. Still, sweets aren’t exactly something he favors, so he just holds the cone while Yuuki happily eats away at her chocolate-drenched sundae.

“I truly am sorry,” He says once more. “Not just because I didn’t tell you about Zero but for the way the council treated you.”

Yuuki sighs with a faint smile as she picks up on the meaning beneath his words. She doesn’t blame Kaname for unknowingly usurping her position on the council, it wouldn’t be fair to blame him. “It’s not your fault.”

“That doesn’t mean it’s right.”

“No, it doesn’t, but I- I always sort of knew it would never be permanent. I always thought in the back of my mind that someday you would return and take back your position,” She takes another bite of her ice cream. “I guess it was stupid of me to hope that I wouldn’t have to give it up and that maybe I would get to stay and finish what I started. Wishful thinking, I know.”

“It’s not stupid, not at all.”

Yuuki snorts. “It is, but thanks for trying to comfort me. It’s just so frustrating to see all that I worked for, all those late hours and long nights amount to nothing. All that hard work is just - gone,” She snaps her fingers. “Like that. In the blink of an eye, you’re back, and I’m demoted to second-place again.”

Guilt is bitter and foul-tasting on Kaname’s tongue, even knowing Yuuki doesn’t blame him. For centuries the position of head of the council has always fallen to the first-born Kuran _son,_ never daughter. It was out of both of their hands, cemented in foundations built upon a millennium of history. 

Yet he can’t help but feel a large share of responsibility for taking the position he’d never wanted from his sister, who seemed to possess a sincere desire to improve things for their kind.

“Perhaps it’s time for things to change,” He muses as Yuuki licks the last remnants of her sundae from her spoon.

“We both know change like that doesn’t come easy. That would be a battle you wouldn’t win, brother,” Yuuki says with a bitter smile. “You going to eat that?”

“No,” Kaname hands her the ice cream cone in his hand, eager to rid himself of the sugary treat.

“Thanks. I don’t know why, but I’ve had an insatiable craving for ice cream lately.”

“I thought you always craved sugar.”

“Shut up,” She chides with an angry pout of her lips. Not that her brother was wrong, per se, but this time it was only ice cream in particular.

“Just because a battle is hard doesn’t mean that it’s impossible to win,” Kaname adds, bringing them back to the subject at hand.

“But would it be worth it in the end? Don’t try it, Kaname, trust me when I say it isn’t worth it. Those old fools are set in their ways.” 

They will die before ever seeing a woman lead permanently.

“Very well, I’ll leave it be,” Kaname acquiesces. _For now._

It’s disturbing to see what has become of his descendants in some ways. Once upon a time, he would have been happy to see the Kurans put in their place, after becoming far too tyrannical for his liking, yet now they’ve been reduced to little more than pets, puppets whose strings are pulled by the council. He should have listened when Zero attempted to warn him all that time ago.

Well, he’ll be glad to remind those idiots on the council who it is that holds the cards.

“Enough about me though, how are things between you and Zero going?” Yuuki questions.

“Well.”

“ _Meaning?”_

“I’m trying to bridge the gap between us and undo the mistakes I made in the past, but truthfully I don’t know how to do that. I don’t want to see Zero hurt again because of me. He’s everything to me, him and Ren both are so much more than I deserve.”

“Kaname, you love Zero, anyone with eyes can see that. I’ve never seen you care about anyone – even me – the same way you care about Zero and Ren.”

“I do. More than I ever thought possible.”

“And Zero? How does he feel?”

“I- don’t know.” 

His mind drifts to the hunter’s gentle smiles aimed at him, of the Zero lets Kaname hold him and falls asleep in the pureblood’s arms. Zero always dreaded showing weakness or vulnerability in front of others, yet that night at the hospital it had been Kaname whom he’d run to and who had comforted him as he cried. His heart warms as he remembers the reverent way those amethyst eyes had fixated on him while he played his violin, how he had to close his eyes to avoid becoming distracted by that piercing gaze.

Perhaps he knows more than he thought about Zero’s feelings.

Yuuki’s quiet giggle brings him down from the clouds. “What is it?”

“Nothing, nothing, just that look on your face. You’re so freaking whipped!” 

He chuckles, a strange lightness taking hold of his chest. “Yes, I suppose I am, aren’t I?”

Yuuki’s laughter fades as she focuses on finishing her ice cream cone, crunching the pieces of waffle and licking her fingers clean, oblivious to her brother’s grimace of distaste at the action. 

“It’s a good look for you.”

“Whipped?”

“I mean, that too, but not what I was getting at. I meant _happy,_ brother,” She smiles at him across the table. “Back at Cross, you always used to look so morose and down. You had this melancholy about you, and I tried everything to get you to look at least a _bit_ happy, but even I couldn’t succeed.” Sure, a few times she could make him crack a smile or chuckle, but it never lasted longer than a few seconds. No one could make Kaname smile quite like Zero.

“But do I deserve it?”

Yuuki sighs and reached across the table to take hold of the older pureblood’s hands, determination in her fierce gaze. 

“You have made some mistakes in the past, yes, but it isn’t too late to move beyond them. You _deserve_ to be happy, Kaname. More than a lot of people I know. Make amends and forgive yourself but don’t let the past drag you down with it.”

Kaname blinks at her in shock. He doesn’t think anyone has ever told him that he deserves happiness before, not after all that he’s done.

“I should be getting home, I suppose. With the ball coming up, there’s going to be a lot to organize and plenty to do and I don’t need Yori lecturing me again on the importance of sleep,” Yuuki says.

“Of course, we wouldn’t want that, now would we? I should be getting back as well though, I suppose.”

“Worried about Zero?”

Was it that obvious?

Yuuki smiles knowingly at his silence as she stands. “Thanks for the ice cream, and remember what I said, okay? Don’t lose yourself in the past, I mean that. Talk to you tomorrow, Kaname, get home safe!”

With that, she hurries off, leaving Kaname to linger behind her a few minutes, thinking on her words. _You deserve to be happy, brother._

As he arrives back at the manor, he’s greeted by Zero’s wry smile and a tiny curl of Ren’s lips who just came home from school. There it is again, that light, floaty sensation in his chest that makes his skin tingle. 

_Is this what happiness feels like?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Someone really needs to tell Kaname you can't keep secrets from your sister like that when you travel in the same social circles. It doesn't work like that, my dude.


	21. Chapter 21: One step forward, two steps back

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say it takes a thousand truths to earn someone’s trust. But no one ever talks about how it only takes one little lie to break that trust.

It’s all so domestic, the scene before Kaname; sitting at the table with his lover and his lover’s child, plates of food prepared by a professional, set in front of them and glasses of wine for the adults. Decades ago – _years_ even, Kaname would most likely have scoffed and sneered at such a picture, considering himself above such things yet undeserving of them at the same time. What a contradiction he was.

_“You don’t need to take on the weight of the world. Not every problem has to be yours to solve.”_

Yes, Yuuki was right. He’d sworn to himself once to destroy all purebloods to make the world safe for his mate and his sister, but it was only now that he stepped back, he’d begun to realize the folly in his intentions. The nobles would only rise in place of the purebloods, or somehow, someway they would discover how to produce more. A fruitless endeavor that would only waste his time.

Sitting here with Ren and Zero is peaceful, no danger lurking in the shadows or breathing down their collars. No impossible goals to accomplish. It simply _is,_ and Kaname realizes with a jolt that it’s all he’s ever wanted. _A family._

Zero moans around a mouthful of steak, prompting a subdued chuckle from Ren and causing the pureblood to politely clear his throat. 

“Have to say, I did kind of miss your personal chef.” He says, taking a sip of his wine.

“I thought you enjoyed cooking,” Kaname says. “Besides anything you make is far surpasses anything that comes from a professional.”

Zero jerks his fork in the pureblood’s direction. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”

“Oh contrary, so far it’s gotten me _everywhere.”_

Ren groans at the pair’s antics, covering their face with one hand as Zero sticks his tongue out at the teen, who scrunches their nose up in response.

“Alright, alright,” Zero surrenders with a snicker, at the teenager’s discomfort. No uncomfortable flirting at the dinner table it is then. “So, how was school?”

“Boring.”

“You’re starting to sound like your Aunt.”

Kaname quirks a brow. “I thought Yuuki always enjoyed school.”

“The social aspects she did. I swear, there was _no one_ that girl couldn’t make friends with. But classes? Those she hated, and it didn’t help that she never did her homework or bothered to pay attention.”

Ren cracks a grin. “It’s not the classes I don’t like, they’re just… easy. Math, Biology, all of it is so slow _._ ”

“Now _that_ sounds like Ichiru,” The words slip out without Zero even realizing it and he freezes like a deer caught in headlights as reality sinks in. He’s never mentioned Ichiru to Ren before, it’s remarkably tough to talk about it, even after all these years. But it’s much too late to take it back now.

“Who?”

Ren glances at Kaname in consternation, but the brunette shakes his head. Much as he loathes watching Zero in misery at the memories, this isn’t his story to tell.

“My twin brother,” The hunter bites out. “His name was Ichiru; you’d have liked him. He got bored with school too, like you do, said it was easy for him,” A wistful smile curls his lips. “Little shit used to say he got the brains and I got the brawn. Math and Biology were his favorites.”

Ren frowns at the abrupt calm in Zero’s voice, like it takes physical effort to force those words from his throat. Zero has mentioned a sibling a few times before, in passing, but he’s never divulged more, and Ren always thought better than to ask, surmising it was a sensitive subject.

“What happened to him?” They ask, fearing that any moment now Zero would shut down and not answer. It wouldn’t be the first time.

“We ah- He was taken away by Shizuka on the night of- the incident. Never saw him again until years later, at which point that bitch already had him under her thumb. He got caught in a fight that he had no part in, and he died for it.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Wasn’t your fault, kid. It’s in the past now anyway,” That didn’t mean he’d made peace with Ichiru’s death. Part of him may never get to that point, but he’s getting to the point where he can at least talk about it and discuss it. 

Zero exchanges a glance with Kaname, who had no doubt realizes the considerable part of the story Zero had left out. For the best, if Ren doesn’t learn how Ichiru died, and Zero isn’t quite ready to talk about that little detail yet anyway, blame still resting heavily on his shoulders. 

With the serene atmosphere gone the three finish their dinner quietly, occasionally chiming in with bits of stilted small-talk between bites of food. Soon enough the servants come in to collect their empty plates, and Ren scurries off to their room to finish their homework.

Kaname trails after Zero, finding his wayward lover in the library, perusing the crowded shelves. He slinks up behind him and encloses his arms around the silver-haired man’s waist as he reaches for a book above him, earning a jolt from the hunter.

“So, how was the meeting?” Zero asks as Kaname’s grip on him tightens at those words. 

“Dreadfully, painfully dull as always. It seems little has changed; the council was all too busy quarreling amongst themselves to get any issues resolved, as it has always been.”

He considers telling Zero the truth about the party for a second, before dismissing it. His mate is still recovering after Kaname had been a hair’s breadth away from losing him and the thought of bringing Zero with him, putting him in the center of all that attention and in the process, giving his assailant another opportunity to finish what they’d started, made the pureblood’s blood run cold. No doubt Zero would be livid if he knew Kaname was hiding something from him, but Kaname will take that risk if it means keeping him safe.

Zero tries to keep the bitter jealousy out of his voice, not that he’s jealous of Kaname having to deal with the council – he’d only met the council once, but he could do without ever having to repeat that experience, thank you very much. But at least Kaname can _do_ things while Zero is stuck here, cooped up in this manor all damn day and night like some kept pet.

His mood doesn’t go unnoticed by his mate. “What is it?”

“What’s what?”

“ _Zero,_ something is bothering you, I can tell. What is it?”

“What’s _bothering_ me is that I'm fucking kept in this stupid manor!” Zero snaps. “I’m not made of glass, Kaname. I’m going fucking stir-crazy, and if I have to stay in here for much longer, I _swear_ I’m going to kill someone.” 

“You are still weak from- “

“I _know,_ ” Zero interrupts. “But I’m not going to stand by and let you treat me like an invalid. I’m going out tomorrow whether you like it or not.”

Kaname huffs. “Fine, but I’m coming with you. I don’t want you going out by yourself this soon.

“Fine, I need to visit my apartment and pick up some things,” Zero answers, relaxing slightly, he can deal with Kaname going with him. He cann _ot_ deal with a strange bodyguard watching his every move at all times. “Nothing that could be dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands, don’t worry, I’m not _that_ stupid. Unless someone wants the go-bag hidden under the floor, but there isn’t much in there besides clothes and things like that. Essentials.” 

“A _go-bag_?” 

“Mhm, a go-bag. You know, a bag filled with some money, clothes, food, a passport, things like that? They’re for situations where you might need to leave – as in completely disappear, quickly. There’s not a hunter out there that _doesn’t_ have one.”

“Why would you need such a thing?”

“Let’s just say hunters make a lot of enemies.” 

It’s difficult to break a habit of waking at the crack of dusk. Be that as is, Zero rises with a yawn and energy already thrumming through him as he pads across the chilled floor over to the window. The yawning stretch of darkness stares back at him.

He spares a glance for his mate still deep in slumber, before shaking his head and wandering out of the room. God knows how Kaname can get when woken early, he’ll be a pain in the ass to deal with for the rest of the night – irritable and snappy. Zero figures it’s best to spare the servants that sight.

“Hello, Master Kiryuu,” A young serving girl greets him as he wanders into the dining room, receiving a grumbled response from the tried hunter when she pulls out his chair for him at the dining table. A plate of eggs, bacon, and fruit is set before him along with a steaming mug of coffee prepared how he likes it. Zero practically inhales the food before him, stomach starving for sustenance.

As Zero eats, he notices the girl who’d greeted him conversing with another young man in a similar servant’s uniform, in the hall outside of the kitchen. It’s not out of earshot, and the hunter can’t help but pick up snippets of their conversation.

“I’ll bet it’s going to be expensive!” The girl exclaims with a clap of her hands and stars in her eyes. “Aw, what a sight it must be. Can you imagine all those pretty outfits and delicious food? I wish I could go! They’re saying all of the notable pureblood families will be there too!” 

Party? Now _that_ catches Zero’s attention, he straightens in his seat, listening more now.

“We’re _servants,_ Emily. Which means we’re way too poor and insignificant to mingle with the likes of purebloods, let alone attend a party with them. Stop daydreaming already!”

The girl whines as the man smacks her on the head. “But aren’t you the least bit curious? Imagine all the pretty gowns and suits! Augh, I’ll bet they’re all going to be gorgeous and I won’t even get to see them.”

The man tuts at what he believes to be a silly notion. _Fabulous gowns and suits? It’s just fabric, what’s the-_

“What are you wearing to the party, Master Kiryuu?”

Zero blinks as the girl addresses him, turning to face her with a raised brow. She’s a young thing, can’t be older than eighteen and she still has that innocent and naïve sparkle to her eyes. He wonders how she’d react if she knew what her beloved purebloods are _really_ like, but it’s too early in the morning to shatter the poor girl’s hopeful illusion like that, even for him. 

“What party?” He asks instead. 

The girl giggles as though sharing some joke between them. Zero isn’t laughing. “The party to celebrate Master Kaname’s return, of course! The council only just recently announced it a night or two ago, but I’m sure Master Kaname told you already.”

Zero’s jaw tightens, teeth clacking together as the girl’s male cohort tenses. Kaname hasn’t talked about a party of any such sort, and somehow, he doubts his mate would _forget_ to mention such a thing. Zero clenches the fork in his hand, bending the metal. 

“I haven’t decided yet what I’m wearing,” He lies to the girl through his teeth.

The man interrupts the poor thing before she can embarrass herself further by asking any more questions, firmly gripping her arm and steering her away. “Now that’s enough of _that._ Master Kiryuu has his own business to attend to, and the foyer could use with a good dusting.”

“I just dusted it _two_ days before last!”

“Then you won’t mind doing it again,” The man chastises with another light tap to her head before striding off, the girl hesitating before following him.

Finally, he’s left alone again, with the quiet dawning knowledge that Kaname _lied_ to him. Sure, it seems like a silly thing to lie about, but it’s still a lie, no matter which way one spins it. It’s so strange that Kaname would lie about something as insignificant as a party though, it’s odd, and Zero wants to know _why._ Zero has questions, and Kaname is going to answer them if the hunter has anything to say about it. He’s going to get some fucking answers from that bastard come hell or high water. 

A few hours later, Kaname finally wakes and takes his own breakfast, all the while with Zero staring a hole in his head. 

“Everything alright? You look like you want to talk.” 

Zero’s smile is brittle and made of glass, wooden as the very table between them. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Zero’s anger is a tightly coiled thing, wound tight and ready to snap, beneath which lays the burning sting of betrayal. _No more secrets, huh? Bull-fucking-shit._ He wants to break something almost as much as he wants to open a bottle of alcohol and drown himself in it. Kaname lied to him again, and he’d been stupid enough to believe the man wouldn’t in the first place.

 _Why?_ Zero asks himself that over and over as the car rolls over the even paved roads, following the directions he knows by heart now to his old apartment building. It seems such a trivial thing to lie about and to his mate no less. He just can’t wrap his head around Kaname’s reasoning. But then again, who knows what goes through the pureblood’s head. Why not tell Zero about the party? Did- did he not want people to see him with Zero?

A chill runs down the hunter’s spin. Is that really it? Does Kaname not wish to be seen with him? As far as he knows he hadn’t done anything _wrong_ , but maybe somewhere Zero had mis stepped, offending Kaname or someone else in some way. Maybe Kaname has grown _tired_ of him and no longer has feelings for him. Zero’s heart stings sharply as he brings the car to a stop in front of a towering building that he’s called ‘home’ for many, many years now.

 _God, listen to yourself._ Already he’s pinning the blame for Kaname’s actions on _himself,_ assuming that _he_ must have done something wrong when Kaname is the one who fucked up. It’s precisely what Kaito warned him about.

“Zero?” Kaname questions.

“Hm?”

“I thought you wanted to visit your apartment.”

The hunter jumps, realizing he’s been sitting here for nearly ten minutes now, wrapped up in his thoughts. “Right, yeah, I’m coming.”

Zero steps inside the frigid lobby and makes his way up to his apartment without even thinking about it, climbing the stairs two at a time. Kaname is a constant, stable presence beside Zero, a rock that he leans on, not only physically. _But is he?_ Some part of the hunter questions.

His apartment is just like he’d left it for all that it appears. A solid wooden door that remains locked, windows closed, and everything left right where it had been weeks ago. Zero frowns after stepping inside, turning back to crouch down beside the doorway.

Kaname watches as a white glow erupts beneath his lover’s hands. 

Witches are the ones who have the most knowledge and ability in magic, but all hunters possess inherent magic to a much lesser degree, though it’s rare to see Zero work his anytime other than when he wields his beloved Bloody Rose. Cryptic circles lined with unknown letters and runes appear in the wood beneath Zero’s hands, disappearing as the hunter pulls his hands away, impossible to make out anymore save for the scorch marks left on the wood in their wake. 

“At least my wards are intact, not for lack of trying though,” Zero says as he strolls into the apartment. Someone had tried to get past his wards, that doesn’t surprise him. His assailant had probably been watching him for a while. Still, his wards held under the intrusion attempt, and that brings him a small modicum of comfort. 

“I infuse my wards with iron dust,” He explains to Kaname as he walks through the familiar halls. “Might not stop _everything_ from getting in but it’ll give them a hell of a battle scar if they try.”

Zero packs clothes and shoes into the bags he’d brought with him, stopping to grab some of Ren’s things – including textbooks. The rest is boring essentials like toothbrushes and whatnot. Lastly, he steps over to the desk in the corner of his room.

He bends down, reaching underneath the wooden surface to feel along the underside before his fingers catch on a small, metal level in the right corner near the front. Zero flicks it before opening one of the bottom drawers on the left side, shoving aside old, useless papers and reaching for the back to press on a similar lever.

“Got you,” He mutters in triumph as a small compartment in the front of the desk clicks open. The smooth wooden surface lifts easily, revealing a small, brown leather case beneath in the secret compartment. Zero removes and closes the chamber, the wooden door blending back into the surface as though it had never been there at all.

“What is that?” Kaname eyes the case, breath stuttering to a halt when Zero opens it up to reveal an old, sizeable key that pokes out at odd places and angles, metal forming into an intricate rose at the end, in the center of which gleams a small black stone colored with bits of red. It’s copper surface still shines as bright as the day it was made.

Kaname fashioned it himself, centuries ago.

It doesn’t do anything by itself, no, this key needs its companion to be of any use to the one who possesses it. But together both keys unlock the vault hidden deep below the Association’s headquarters, a vault which holds dozens of artifacts capable of destruction and chaos. And beyond that vault in a smaller, separate chamber lays the ever-burning furnace which is used to make hunters’ weapons.

He’d entrusted this key to someone important centuries ago, and it had been passed down to Cross eventually. The other one lies in the hands of a different hunter, one miles and miles away. It was much too risky to keep them together, too dangerous to even consider. So, what is Zero doing with this?

“Cross entrusted it to me,” Zero says. “Well, okay, not _Cross_ per se, but Yagari. With Cross out of commission we couldn’t risk just leaving it lying around.”

“You lied to me, you said there was nothing important here. What if this had fallen into the wrong hands?”

Zero shoots him a glare at that, a sneer taking form on his face. “Takes one to know one, doesn’t it _babe?”_

“I beg your pardon?”

“You have the nerve to call me a liar, when all you fucking do is _lie!_ Did you really think I wouldn’t learn about the party?”

His throat tightens as he watches the brunette blanch. 

“Yeah, _oh._ That ashamed of having a level _E_ as your mate?” Zero says, lower lip wobbling as he folds his arms across his chest.

“You aren’t a level E.”

“I might as fucking well be!”

“That isn’t the reason, and you _know_ it, Zero.”

“Do I? I don’t know anything with you, Kaname because you don’t tell me _shit!_ But oh please, fucking tell me what other “reason” you have!”

“You were just on your deathbed! Do you know how close I came to losing you?” Kaname doesn’t yell. But he comes close, words a vicious hiss. “If you would step back and think for a moment you would realize how idiotic of an idea, it is to parade yourself in front of vampires when you’ve only just recovered! What if this person tries something again? What if this time they _succeed?_ Did you ever stop to consider that I am trying to protect you?”

“I’m not some pet that needs your damn protection,” Zero says, throwing his hands up in the air. He paces the length of the room, wringing his hands through his hair, seconds away from yanking at the strands in frustration. “I don’t care if you think it’s dangerous, that should have been _my_ decision to make!”

Kaname’s jaw snaps shut with a loud click as Zero shoves at his chest with a snarl, jabbing a finger in his mate’s direction.

“You know what? Fuck you, I’m going to that fucking party anyway. They want to try again? _Let them._ ” 

Kaname rubs at his temples. “Zero- “

“Don’t you ‘Zero’ me; this isn’t the first time someone has tried to kill me, trust me,” God, it’s insulting, the infantile way Kaname speaks _at_ him, not _to_ him. Sometimes Zero wonders if Kaname forgets he _was_ a hunter, after all, this isn’t his first rodeo. He’s more than equipped to handle it.

“When?” Kaname grinds out. “When were the other attempts?”

Zero makes a show of leaning back against the wall and raising a hand to his chin. “Well let’s see: one time a noble stabbed me with a knife. Not sure what they were going for there, but another time my partner shot me, which is why I work alone now. And one of the more recent ones was when a one-night stand turned out to be a bloodsucker and tried to strangle me.”

The pureblood is trying awfully hard to maintain his composure now, something ugly and horrible in him flaring up at the mention of another in his mate’s bed. It takes all that he has to force that back down, unable to contain the snarl that rises in his throat at the idea of someone laying their hands on Zero.

Zero huffs and folds his arms with a roll of his eyes, the anger dissipating from his form like smoke vanishing into the sky and leaving the creeping sensation that he’s been here before. Different words and different setting perhaps. But he’s been in this spot before; Kaname keeping secrets and attempting to control him, dismissing the hunter’s anger as misplaced or uncalled for. Only back then Zero hadn’t seen the cage until he’d walked inside of it.

“You swore to me,” Zero bites out, fixing his eyes on the floor and evading the pureblood’s gaze. “You said there wasn’t going to be any more secrets, that you wouldn’t try to control me. Was all that just bullshit?”

“No, that wasn’t what I- that wasn’t my intention.”

“Are you kidding me with this bullshit _? God, Kaname,_ do you honestly think your fucking intentions matter that much? _”_ He’s so fucking tired of all the damn questions! Was a damn answer too much to ask for?

A small nagging voice lurks at the back of Zero’s mind, that little whisper that likes to declare its opinions on things. _He’s lying_ the voice hisses. _He’s ashamed of having a filthy, level E as a mate. Only wants to keep us locked up inside his pretty, pretty cage._

Kaname sends the other man a long, anguished look before breaking eye contact as he buries his head in his hands. “You have to believe me, Zero. I didn’t mean to lie to hurt you, I thought that-”

 _Typical._ “Yeah? Well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say. Save it, Kaname, I don’t want to hear it right now.”

Zero recoils as Kaname reaches out to touch him, the pureblood’s hand dropping back to his side in a silence that speaks volumes.

That day Kaname waits and waits for his mate to come to bed, for Zero to join him in the room that had become theirs instead of his; he struggles hard to assuage the harsh sting of disappointment when Zero never comes.

The silver-haired hunter lays awake in the too-large bed for hours, growing cold alone in the darkness, even as embers of anger smolder within him, most of it directed at his mate. But even now he can’t help but miss the pureblood. Even after Kaname lied to him _again,_ kept things from him _again_ and tried to control his actions, some part of him aches for the brunette’s presence. 

Violet eyes gaze up at the ceiling as sleep eludes him. He knows it’s stupid of him to get this riled up over such a silly, petty thing as a party but that doesn’t matter. It’s the principle of the thing because now that Kaname broke his promise Zero can’t keep his thoughts from spiraling out of control. How many lies does this make now? He should start keeping a tally of the rare times Kaname tells the truth. How many secrets concealed from him? What else is Kaname hiding? What else isn’t he telling Zero about? And now he’s trying to keep from assuming going over all their conversations in his head and wondering how much of it was Kaname lying through his teeth.

He’d given the pureblood his trust and Kaname broke it like a thin twig. _Lies, lies, lies._ Zero should be used to it by now, yet each time the hurt and anger return as vivid and venomous as ever. It’s like a knife to the chest, realizing that all that had ensued between him and Kaname these past few months might have been just another lie. He’s been betrayed before, but this one? This one _stung._

_He’s only using you. You’re just a handsome, little toy to him._ Try as he might, the voice in Zero’s head only grows stronger and louder, drowning out his thoughts. _What else are you keeping from me, Kaname?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Petition for these two to fucking sit down and talk about their damn problems together!


	22. Chapter 22: Trouble, troublemaker, that's your middle name

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The conversation Kaname and with Yuuki shortly after he returned is finally revealed and meanwhile, Zero makes a new acquaintance. Something wicked this way comes...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm a dirty, dirty slut for kudos and comments!
> 
>  
> 
> (meant to upload this ch last week btw, but college took up my time and I wasn't happy with what I had, so I spent some more time editing it. Thanks for your patience, darlings! <3)

A grimace crosses Kaname’s face as the artificial taste of the blood tablet hits his tongue - nothing like the actual thing, of course, but he sips it anyhow, his mind straying back to his quarrel with Zero. He curses himself in hindsight, knowing that he shouldn’t have lied to Zero. But he’s utterly terrified of losing his mate and justly so, given recent events. 

_“So that woman has returned once more, has she?_ Lovely _.”_

_Yuuki snorted at the biting sarcasm in her brother’s tone. “Bold of you, to imply she ever actually left in the first place. She does seem stranger now though if you ask me; she gives me an awful feeling, Kaname and I don’t like it.”_

_“I thought you never liked her.”_

_“I didn’t, but even more so now. Her aura has an odd feeling to it like she’s somehow gotten more powerful and knowing her, that’s the_ last _thing anyone needs.”_

_Kaname hummed. “She’s always been among the strongest of our kind though, given that her clan takes great pains to keep their bloodline pure.”_

_Yuuki rolls her eyes and holds up a hand before her brother can start in on another one of his lectures. “Yes, yes, I know that, but that’s not what I’m saying. It’s different this time, Kaname, you haven’t seen how unhinged she is. All she does is ask after_ you, _and though she claimed to be in love with you, I think it’s more of an obsession than anything else.”_

_Her brother scoffs. “She’s enamored with the idea of me her psychotic family has foisted onto her.” If she had an inkling as to what Kaname is actually like, he doubted she’d be half as interested as she is._

_“I’m just saying that maybe you should be a bit careful around her, Kaname.”_

_Part of Yuuki is almost sympathetic in a way; the poor woman had been groomed her whole life into becoming the perfect fiancée for Kaname, knowing little else besides what she was taught to know of the man her family strove to see her marry. She must have been lonely, with no more than the prince of her imagination for company._

_Kaname frowns. “Seiren mentioned to me that she’d heard some unsettling gossip from that woman’s servants as well, now that I think about it. They mentioned that she would be found at times wandering the grounds in little or no clothing and refusing meals or throwing dishes at the walls in fits of rage. I assumed it was just mindless gossip, but it seems I was mistaken.”_

_“All true, I’m sure, but that’s just the tip of the iceberg,” Yuuki mutters. “Ruka paid a visit to her a few months ago, concerning council business and she caught the poor thing conversing with a painting as though it was a person. Tell me, what sane person would do that, Kaname?”_

_“None that I know of.”_

_“Exactly.” Which is a problem and a big one at that; a mad vampire is one thing, but an insane pureblood is a much bigger issue and one that needs to be taken care of. This world doesn’t need another Rido or Shizuka._

_Disconcerting would be putting her odd behavior mildly; these are not the actions of someone in their right mind and absolutely not a pureblood. If she’s begun to go mad—for whatever reason, she presents a threat to everybody._

_Kaname lifted a hand to his chin. “I wonder what could have caused a pureblood to lose their sanity quite so badly though, especially one such as that woman.”_

_“To be fair, I think everyone knew it was only a matter of time before she lost her marbles completely.”_

_The older man fixes his sister with a stern look of disapproval. But Yuuki interrupts before he can voice his displeasure with her. “I know, I know, this is serious and all that, spare me the speech. I think she killed her mate, in all honesty.”_

_It was odd finding out that she had a mate to begin with. Even now, Yuuki wondered if that woman had felt anything at all – even a sliver of compassion – towards that man, or if he’d only been a stepping stone in her plans the entire time._

_Were it anyone else, Kaname would have dismissed that claim, but that doesn’t sound at all farfetched to him anymore, based on what Yuuki has revealed to him. For a vampire, killing one’s mate would be enough to drive anyone mad, even a pureblood._

_“What makes you say that?”_

_“Well, she was rumored to be having a relationship with a noble of her court a few years ago. Then her Mother found out at a party of her’s – there was a whole scene and everything. And well, next anyone knows, said noble goes missing and hasn’t been seen or heard since. Right after that is when her strange behavior began, or so I heard.”_

_“I suppose that does seem like a plausible theory. No one has seen the man she was mated to? Has the council reached out to hunters to see if any of them crossed paths with this noble?”_

_“Yes, we asked hunters as well. Not a single person has seen him, it’s like he simply disappeared. Bizarre, isn’t it?”_

_“If she killed him, that would explain her sudden lapse in sanity,” Kaname says. Not that her clan ever amassed an abundance of that, to begin with._

_“Whatever the case may be, we can’t let her come into contact with Zero,” His sister says, leaning forward with an intensity in her gaze that’s seldom seen and an ominous note to her voice._

_“No, we can’t.”_

_The very last thing Kaname wants is to give that woman a chance to lay a hand on Zero—or god forbid Ren, and if she indeed is that obsessed as Yuuki says she is, he wouldn’t put anything past her. Kaname doesn’t wish to imagine what Shirabuki might do if she catches wind that he’s reunited with his mate. Even Zero wouldn’t be powerful enough to face that woman on his own, not when she’s as skilled at manipulating people as she is._

_“Will you tell him then?”_

_Kaname considers it, but what danger will that put Zero in? Not to mention Ren._

_“No.” He can’t, in good conscience, put this on Zero; his mate has enough to deal with, without having to deal with her. If Kaname plays his cards right, his mate need never have the misfortune of even crossing paths with her._

_Yuuki’s opinion is evident in her tight scowl as she leans back against the sofa to sip at her tea, deigning to keep her opinion to herself, though respecting her brother’s decision doesn’t mean she agrees with it. Then again, knowing Zero, he’ll find out on his own anyhow._

Kaname crushes the glass in his hand to shards at the memory of that conversation, part of the reason why he doesn’t want Zero at the party is due to that woman. She’d been scheming for years to take what she assumed to be her rightful place as Queen, and when it didn’t work on Kaname she’d attempted to charm Yuuki for a fleeting time before growing bored with that as well.

The Shirabuki clan. 

Even the name leaves a bad taste in most vampires’ mouths. A black sheep even among other purebloods and for a good reason: their vanity and arrogance fall second only to their lust for power. In the past, those from the Shirabuki family have killed plenty of fellow purebloods and their mates in an attempt to gain enough favor to see one of their own seated as Queen or King. It hadn’t worked, and their machinations were eventually exposed with the death of Haruka and Juri’s Father—who had been slain by the late Ria Shirabuki. As a result, they lost their seat on the council, and all other remaining clans shunned them ever since.

And Sara has proven to be no different from those who came before her.

The pureblood frowns before summoning a servant to sweep up the mess he’d made. Zero is already out for the night, having risen hours before him and disappearing off to god-knows-where. Kaname swallows around the tight lump in his throat at that. He hasn’t even spoken to the hunter in near a week now, nor shared the same bed with Zero either. Kaname doesn’t risk drawing more of the hunter’s ire by pushing the boundaries of the clear line in the sand Zero has drawn, no matter how much it aches not to. 

But then, remembering the conversation he’d had with Yuuki months ago, perhaps this is for the better. If Zero pushes away from Kaname, there’ll won’t be any reason for Sara to hurt him. 

But _god,_ if it doesn’t hurt like someone ripping his very heart from his chest at the thought of Zero leaving him forever. It’s cruel of fate to offer him a chance at happiness only to have it yanked away from him, but then no one ever said fate was a kind mistress. 

Sara Shirabuki will not touch Zero, not if Kaname can help it.

Something is off with Zero, Ren can _tell_. “Are you okay?”

“Fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

They shrug and turn to look out the window. 

“You and Kaname have been fighting, don’t think I didn’t notice. I was just making sure you’re alright.” It’s obvious in the way Zero is avoiding the other man, he hardly speaks to him at meals, and most days go by without the two ever crossing paths in the vast manor.

“It’s nothing. Just- adult stuff that you don’t need to worry about,” Zero says. “You need to concern yourself with passing your algebra test today, and that’s it, okay?”

Ren frowns at being treated like a child, preferring to think that they’re more than old enough to know about ‘adult stuff’ by now, after all, they _are_ fourteen years old, _thank you_ very much. “Alright, _sir._ ”

Zero chuckles as the kid gives him a mock salute, stepping out of the car with their school bag slung over their shoulder. No, Ren doesn’t need to be wrapped up in his business, not like he had been at that age, forced to grow up too fast. He wants Ren to be able to just be a _kid—_ the one luxury he’d never been afforded.

He sighs and drops his forehead to the steering wheel. _What am I doing?_ He's being stupid, he knows, it’s so idiotic to be pissed over such a small, petty lie and it’s ridiculous the way it cuts into him; he should probably let it go but he _can't._ He can't bring himself to let it go because when they’d said no more secrets or lies, he _meant_ it but clearly, he was the only one who did.

And god, he is so fucking suspicious of everything Kaname does now. _What else are you hiding from me? What haven’t you told me?_ It’s as infuriating to find out his mate is back to guarding his secrets like a precious treasure, as much as it’s gut-wrenching to figure out Kaname doesn’t trust Zero enough to tell him things.

Zero drives mindlessly through the dark of the city, not going anywhere, in particular, trying in vain to outrun his own thoughts. It’s still early in the night, strands of color still lingering in the sky and a few cafes and whatnot are open. Caffeine would be a welcome distraction at this point.

He pulls over near one and steps in to order the strongest coffee they have before taking a seat at a table on the patio to watch the sunrise. At least he is alone, at this hour, most places don’t do much business, and this café is no different, making Zero the only customer they’ve likely seen for _hours_. Well, at least he can bring a smidgen of excitement to some poor minimum wage worker’s night if nothing else.

They call him in for his order which Zero grabs with a polite smile before retreating to his table, taking slow sips of the drink he as looks up at the inky expanse and tries to silence that degrading voice in his head. He only stiffens and snaps back to reality when the scraping of a chair alerts him to a visitor.

Sweetness fills the air, not a light one, but a heavy, sweetness that nearly makes him gag with the scent of it and underneath which lurks the unmistakable coppery odor, mixed in with a touch of death that can only be hidden to an extent. The kind of scent that has him straightening where he sits and resisting the urge to grab his gun as he springs back to awareness. _Pureblood._

Amethyst eyes flicker upwards to meet a woman’s calm, ocean-blue gaze which swims with hidden amusement. Golden waves fall over soft shoulders, and the woman’s smile is anything but friendly when she tilts her head to study him. 

 

When she was but a mere child, Sara Shirabuki was afraid of spiders. The sight of them crawling over the walls made goosebumps rise on her skin, she detested the unfeeling little pests.

Her mother caught her crying in the garden after witnessing one of the ugly, little creatures eating another that had been its mate. 

“Why is it doing that, mother? Doesn’t it feel sad, harming the one it loves like that?”

Her Mother crooned and stroked her hair. “Hush, darling. Spiders have no need for useless emotions such as love, they are like us in that way. Love makes one weak, Sara and weakness is intolerable.”

“But I still don’t understand _why!_ Why does the spider harm other creatures to get what it wants?”

“Because that is how the world works, you foolish child. What do you think would have happened to that spider if she had not eaten her mate? He would have done the same to her, first chance he got, I assure you. You see? It’s a harsh and dangerous world out there, Sara and in it, you must eat or _be eaten.”_

The girl’s lip wobbled as she looked up at her mother with a frown. “What do you mean?”

“You see, child, all things in life are about power. Those without it are beaten down and eaten alive by their betters, like that spider. But we cannot blame the other spider, now can we? After all, it’s merely doing what comes naturally to it.”

“But what if I don’t want power, Mother? What if I want to find out what it’s like to fall in love one day?”

How quickly the warmth faded from her Mother’s face at that, and she struck the child across the cheek with a glare. 

“You are a _pureblood,_ girl! Such things are beneath you and me. Only petty mortals waste time with such nonsense like _love_. Emotions are a weakness, child and weakness is not tolerated among purebloods, you’d do well to remember that.” 

Sara cradled her smarting cheek with one hand and sniffed as hot tears poured down her cheeks. She looked at her Mother’s red lips pulled into a frown. 

“Yes, Mother.” It was an automated response, words slipping past her lips without thinking.

“Power must be taken, Sara. Which one will you be, child? Will you eat or let the world devour you?”

She didn’t understand the meaning of her Mother’s words then, but she would come to over time. 

At ten years old, Sara’s Father left their family, vanishing in the middle of the night, leaving behind only a note that he had gone to be with his true beloved. She expected her Mother to cry and sob or perhaps lash out in anger and was most shocked when neither of those things happened. It was as though nothing changed at all, the woman didn’t appear saddened in the least. 

Well, perhaps some things changed. No longer did her Mother make any attempt to hide her disdain for her daughter, meeting the child with chilled glares and a harsh voice. No longer did she show up to meals or even interact with Sara any more than necessary, leaving the poor child to wonder what she did wrong.

None of Sara’s peers laughed at her or mocked her, but in many ways, that may have been better. No, instead their pitying glances and empty apologies spoke enough for them and _those_ she hated most of all. _I am above you, do not pity me._ Yet they did, regardless of anything she thought or said. 

And as the years went by something ugly and dreadful began to fill the gaping void in her chest as her mother’s advice from that long-ago day started to sink into her very bones. _Someday I will rule you all._

Now, as she sits at the dingy little table, she allows the brown spider in her hand to traipse its way over and in between her fingers. 

With careful eyes, she appraises the man in front of her, for the life of her unable to fathom exactly what is that makes this ex-human, this level _D_ so unique. What does he have that she doesn’t? It isn’t fair. If anyone is deserving of the privilege of being Kaname’s consort and mate, it’s her!

Amethyst eyes narrow with evident wariness at this woman who invites herself to join him, cautious of the pureblood before him. She can see it in the stiff set to his shoulders and the way his gaze never once leaves her as she settles into a chair.

“Zero Kiryuu,” She greets. “Allow me to introduce myself. I am-“

“Sara Shirabuki. Don’t bother, I know who you are,” He interrupts with a calculating glare, one eyebrow raising in question. “Question is: what the fuck do you want?”

_Insolent little pest._ Well, it seems neither of them is in any mood to exchange false pleasantries, that’s fine with Sara. “ Well, well, straight to the point, aren’t we? I can respect that, so I’ll be blunt. What are you doing with Kaname Kuran?”

“We’re together, I assumed everyone knew that.”

“Together?”

“ _Yes, together._ As in we’re fucking, banging, ‘making the beast with two backs.’ That enough? Or do you need me to draw you a picture?” He says with a slow blink, taking a prolonged sip of his coffee.

“No, no that’s quite alright, I think I can manage,” Sara answers with a plastic grin. “I simply struggle to understand why a pureblood of Kaname’s nature has taken an interest in one like yourself. Surely you must realize how a lowly level D like yourself is hardly fit to stand behind someone like Kaname.”

The words don’t even seem to affect him, not so much as a flinch earned as the hunter leans back in his seat, throwing an arm over the back of it. “ Oh, you’re one of _those._ Let me guess; this is the part where you tell me all about how you _are_ worthy of being beside Kaname and much better suited to be his mate, yeah?”

“Well, yes, because I, for one, am a pureblood like Kaname, and it only fits that he should mate with his own kind, after all. Purebloods are naturally born to rule, you see, and that is why I am Kaname’s fiancée, not you.”

The world falls out beneath Zero’s feet. _Don’t fall for it, that’s what she wants_ , which, okay he _knows_ that but how can he _not_? She speaks with such confidence and conviction that Zero has trouble believing it’s _all_ lies. Kaname has never mentioned a fiancée though and surely, he would tell Zero something as crucial as that... right? So then why is it like a knife in his chest? What is this growing doubt in him?

No, Zero refuses to let himself fall for this and covers his nerves with a loud guffaw. “God, do you even hear yourself talk? You’re nothing more than a spoiled little brat, and you think you deserve Kaname? Don’t make me laugh.”

“I am far more fitting to stand beside him than you will ever be. You are a level D who will die within a century more, a speck of dust when compared to the lifespan of a pureblood. You are _nothing_.”

“Kaname didn’t seem to think so when he was fucking me,” Zero shrugs. He can’t resist digging that knife in deeper and twisting it. _See? I can play too, you self-righteous little mosquito._

Zero’s words hold bite, but inside he can’t help the nagging idea that said she’s right. He _is_ a level D, and he _is_ going to die, that much is inevitable, he can’t change it even if he wanted to. But then he never considered what’ll happen to Kaname after he dies, and the pureblood outlives him.

“Would this make you reconsider?” Sara questions, showing Zero the screen of her phone, displayed on which is a picture of someone who is clearly Sara cuddled up close to the pale chest of a man whose brown curls of hair tease the skin of his shoulders.

Zero’s heart drops into his stomach, which he smoothly covers with a deadpan smirk. “So? I’m supposed to buy that? That could be anyone. Sorry, hun, but you’re going to have to do better than that.” 

“True, but has he ever told you where he was those seven years? Seems to me like there would be no reason to keep such things from one’s own mate, unless of course, Kaname has something to hide.”

“He has told me,” Zero lies. “Besides, I trust Kaname enough not to betray me like that.”

“But it would not be a betrayal if you were not together at the time.”

Zero’s palm slams down on the table as the thin line of his patience finally snaps. “I’m tired of listening to your bullshit, Shirabuki. I know Kaname better than anyone.” _But do I?_ “And I wouldn’t hand my mate over to you if you were the last person on earth, fiancée or not, so you can save the rest of your spiel for someone willing to pay you the attention you so desperately crave.”

Sara grinds her teeth together in frustration, and her gaze narrows on the hunter. “Oh? What about that orphan of yours? Ren, yes? It would be such a shame if some-“

Zero is on his feet in a second with a snarl. “You even think about touching them, and I swear I will have every hunter after your head. There won’t be a single corner on this fucking planet where you can hide, and when they find you, you have my promise that it will be a _slow_ death.”

_Check and mate._ Really, the hunter makes it far too easy for her to read him. “Relax, it was merely a joke,” She purrs.

“I don’t think you’re capable of jokes.”

“You don’t have the faintest idea what I’m capable of, hunter.”

Zero looks down his nose at the woman with a roll of his eyes. “You’re a few decades too late if you think I’d be scared of a vampire.”

Sara giggles. “Oh?”

And suddenly Zero can’t move, his body refuses to obey his commands, keeping him frozen in place like a statue. 

His throat tightens like a vise, cutting off his air and making his lungs burn. And he’s helpless to do a damn thing against it as he struggles for all his might. But it’s useless, he’s completely defenseless against this strange hold Sara has on him. 

A sharp spike of fear shoots through Zero. 

His lungs are on fire, and he is growing light-headed from the lack of oxygen. But hard as he tries, he can’t move a single muscle, trapped in the blonde’s blue gaze.

It’s over as soon as it begins and Zero collapses to the ground, gasping for air and choking on it as feeling returns to his body, struggling to ground himself once more through desperate breaths. 

“Pathetic,” Sara sneers above him.

Somehow Zero finds it in him to bark out a harsh rasp of laughter at that. “That all you got?” He forces himself to his feet and brushes off his clothes. “It’ll take more than cheap magic tricks to scare me, sweetheart.”

With that he turns and walks off, content to leave Sara sitting there on her own. Yet his hand remains close to Bloody Rose on his side as the phantom sensation of hands closing around his throat makes him shudder. 

“If I ever see you again, I won’t hesitate to shoot you, by the way,” He calls back as an afterthought, uncaring of anyone who hears him. 

His fingers rise of their own accord to touch the skin at his throat, expecting to brush against some kind of rough mark and finding none. _What the hell kind of power was that?_ He can’t shake the sensation of his throat growing tight, tight, the air being pushed from his lungs.

Zero shakes his head. “Fucking bitch.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story will have a happy ending, I swear. Hold your pitchforks and torches.
> 
> Next Chapter: Zero finally talks with Kaname about everything that's on his mind.


	23. Chapter 23: Maybe we got lost in translation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero reaches his breaking point with Kaname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few more chapters left now! Man, it seems like just yesterday I started posting this fic. I'm so glad all of you are liking it so far, and I'm astonished at how many kudos and comments I've gotten so far. ajsfhlkdjfklsjdfl I never imagined anyone would like anything I wrote this much and just- wow. I could go on a really cheesy spiel about how grateful I am, but I won't bore you guys with that lol. Love y'all though! <3

Zero’s long coat flaps harshly in the gale that blows across Cross Academy’s campus, while a short while away, day class students all shiver in the frigid air and chatter amongst themselves, still done up in their pajamas and driven to remain outside like this before the sun is even up. The new prefects whose names Zero doesn’t know and hasn’t for years now, do a decent job of corralling them all while his hunters sweep the building.

“Never thought I’d see this place again,”

“Really takes you back, doesn’t it?” Yuuki says from beside him, sauntering up next to him as they stare up at the place they once called home many seasons ago. “All the vampires are accounted for. Kairin and Isaya are interrogating them all right now.” Not that it’s needed, honestly, it’s easy to learn which vampire has drunk fresh blood recently by scent alone for ones as skillful as those two, but questioning is the excuse being given to the day class students.

It’d been one hell of a way to wake up, getting the call from Dahlia at six in the goddamn morning that Zero was required at Cross Academy and _pronto._ Yuuki was waiting for him there when he showed up, informing him of all that had transpired. A night class student had attacked a day class student in their own bedroom, draining the miserable girl completely dry after drinking a full _12-pack of blood tablets_ and to make matters worse, the human’s poor roommate had woken up and died of shock on the spot.

Zero is at least a bit grateful that Kaname elected to send Yuuki to sort the turmoil out, instead of appearing here himself; he’s not in a mood to talk to the brunette right now, if ever.

“Have to say, I didn’t plan on coming back here like this.”

“No,” Yuuki agrees. “Neither did I.” She glances up at her brother, scrutinizing him. “What about you, Zero? Are you doing okay? I realize things haven’t been great lately.”

“I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

“But are you _okay?_ I’m here if you ever want to talk. Just a phone call away.”

A ghost of a smile tugs at his lips. “I’m fine, Yuuki. I mean, I’m not super, but I’m- well, I’m keeping on. Don’t waste your time fretting about me.” 

He reaches over to rumple the woman’s hair, much to Yuuki’s fierce protest and snickers at the death glare she shoots him.

“Hey.” The brisk tone of Dahlia has both Zero and Yuuki straightening, the hunter’s smile fading as he recalls the situation they’re in right now, the witch perches with a hand on her hip and frowns at them. “We found something. You’d better come and see.”

Those are never good words.

_What the fuck?_ That’s the initial sentence that goes through Zero’s mind as he stares down at the dying vampire whose glazed, vacant eyes peer up at the hunter but aren’t really _seeing_ him. The man is restrained, and though it might be merciful to put him out of his misery, they won’t get any answers from a heap of ashes.

Blood has stained white fabric utterly red at this point—what little material is left that is, and sharpened claws covered in chunks of flesh and tissue clench and scrabble uselessly at the floor.

“I thought you said, all vampires were _accounted for._ ”

“Yes, I thought they were. I-“ Yuuki rubs at her forehead with one of her palms. “I’m sorry, I must have messed up in my counting; my brain has been all over the place, lately.”

“Uh-huh, well your little mistake could have cost gotten a human _killed_ , Yuuki.”

She huffs out a breath of air through her nose and rubs at her temples, unsure of what she could say to defend herself. “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

Zero casts her a lingering, scathing glower that says all he wishes to on its own with no need for words. He can’t believe the woman’s carelessness, even for _Yuuki_ this is a significant oversight to make and a hell of a lot more than just a simple mistake. Yuuki has never made a mistake this big before, so what on earth, gives? He shakes his head and chalks it up to just the woman’s usual forgetfulness before bending down to survey the vampire.

Meanwhile, Yuuki keeps her distance back several steps, having been lamenting about the smell since they set foot in the dormitory, alleging it stank of some kind of something synthetic. If its indeed a chemical of some type, it’s one Zero and the hunters can’t detect, which just makes caution all that more prudent.

There’s an odd, waxy gray hue to the vampire’s skin, and he doesn’t seem to be capable of speech anymore, only biting growls and snarls through his fangs. If Zero didn’t know any better, he’d say the kid nearly seem like a level E; but this boy had been a noble, there is no way he would have turned into a level E.

“Did anyone pull a blood sample?”

“Already way ahead of you, boss,” Dahlia says, holding up a transparent bag with a vial inside of it. “We’ve got a tissue sample as well, from our vampire and the victim.”

“Good. This- this kid doesn’t look any kind of normal to me,” He murmurs. “It’s like he’s utterly lost any trace of humanity.”

“I doubt he did any of this through his own free will,” Yuuki offers. “Just look at his eyes, he’s clearly entirely there anymore.”

Zero sighs and stands. “Someone put the poor kid out of his suffering; we’ve taken all the material we require, and we can’t risk him coming into contact with other vampires when for all we know, this could be some kind of infection.”

“Zero has a point,” Much as Yuuki hated to admit it, he is; the child is undoubtedly past the point of healing from his injuries, anyhow and keeping him alive would do more harm than good. 

“God, this fucking school just gets worse and worse,” Zero curses under his breath as someone puts a bullet through the dying vampire’s skull with a grimace. 

“I hate to say it, but my brother is right. Until we get this sorted out, it’s too unsafe here for any students, night class _or_ day class.”

Zero quirks a brow at Yuuki’s words, in a silent question. _Are you sure about this?_ She gives a hesitant but clear nod to him.

“Clean this mess up and then tell the kids to start packing. Yuuki and I will call their parents and tell them to come pick up their kids. Until further notice, we’re shutting Cross Academy down,” Zero announces, sharing a glance with the woman. 

His heart sinks when he sees her shoulders slump; contrary to whatever anyone thinks, he takes no joy in this. For better or for worse, Cross was his home for many years, just as it was Yuuki’s and he doesn’t want to see it shut down, but ultimately, they both have to think of the students, and the risk of keeping it open right now is just too big of one to take.

For the rest of the day, Zero and Yuuki are on the phone constantly, assuring worried parents that everything is fine and that _yes,_ they are taking appropriate action. Those whose parents are more than a day away are permitted to stay in dormitories, under the careful eye of more than a dozen hunters, of course. Any and all night-class students are banned from campus for the entire length of the investigation (with no exceptions) and as of now, are on probation under the stringent, watchful eye of the council.

By no means, was it a good day, in any sense of the word. Students were left grieving for a lost classmate and their education being put on hold for the time being, as this vampire robbed them of one (and for many, the only) place they had felt safe. Night class students were all immediately under suspicion due to the actions of only _one_ of their kind and hunters were being relegated to protecting teenagers now like mere human bodyguards. No one won this day.

Zero returns to the manor aching and exhausted, in need of a drink or rather, several – of the alcoholic variety this time, rather than the warmer substance he drinks for sustenance. Between Sara’s words still ruminating in his head and now _this_ whole debacle, he’s damn near fit to be tied; but at least Dahlia’s agreed to head this investigation in his place alongside Yuuki, which is one thing off his plate. The hunter chokes down several tablets of cheap painkillers to nab the growing ache behind his skull in the bud and tries to put the whole thing out of his mind.

Zero tries to forget, he _does, okay?_ But like an annoying fly buzzing around his head, Sara’s words keep poking and prodding at him, pestering him. Amethyst eyes close, and he takes a deep breath before opening them and reading over the same page once more. 

He’s almost certain Kaname noticed something was off at dinner. Although lately, what _hadn’t_ been off? Zero wasn’t the only one acting weird lately either, no, trying to navigate his and Kaname’s entire relationship right now was like walking on eggshells and trying hard not to smash the delicate pieces. Still, something in Kaname’s gaze seemed to sharpen a bit more tonight and it lingered just a second too long in a way that had Zero freezing, wondering if the pureblood had caught a lingering trace of flowery sweetness sticking to the hunter even after he’d taken pains to shower and change his clothes to wash Sara’s stench from himself.

But strange as it might seem, Zero doesn’t _want_ to fight with Kaname again, so he does what he always does and runs from his problems. Which is how he finds himself sitting in his favorite little corner of the manor’s library now, with a cup of tea rapidly cooling beside him as he currently attempts to hide from his thoughts within the pages of a book. It’s a story from the old world, about a dashing young rogue with a dark past and the country boy he decides to take on as an apprentice of sorts after saving him from a lord’s dungeon.

Unfortunately, his thoughts are nothing if not tenacious in their desire to annoy him and deter his efforts at escapism, which he hates to admit is working; for the last hour or so now he’s been at the second chapter, stuck rereading it after realizing that he hadn’t really understood a word of what was on the pages, too busy scowling the image of a blonde-haired, blue-eyed _bitch._

Intrusion comes in the form of three solid raps against a wooden bookshelf, Kaname leaning casually against the solid wood surface, his dark shirt unbuttoned at the top and a glass filled with rich red wine clutched between his fingers. 

“At this rate, you’ll turn into an alcoholic,” Zero comments, sparing only a glance before feigning disinterest as he turns back to the book in his hands, unwilling to allow his gaze to linger.

“Vampires can’t get drunk, you know that as well as I.”

“Maybe not, but people will talk, and we wouldn’t want rumors of rampant alcoholism to damage your reputation, now would we? After all, where would that leave you?”

A deep chuckle rewards him. 

“Where indeed?” Kaname muses, raising the glass to his lips and turning to glance out the windows instead of staring a hole in Zero, leaving the hunter wrestling between relief or disappointment at that.

“Is this some bizarre form of self-flagellation? Attempting to drown yourself in a bottle? Because if so, I want no part of that,” Zero says with a raised eyebrow. “Don’t torture yourself, Kaname. That’s my job.”

“Mm, I’ll do my best to keep that in mind. What’s on your mind?”

“What makes you say I’m _thinking_ about anything in particular _?”_

“You get this adorable expression on your face whenever you’re deeply pondering something, where your nose scrunches up, and your eyes turn dazed and glassy, as though you’re here in body, but your mind is wandering to other places _._ I hadn’t even noticed it until Ren pointed it out to me, but it’s near impossible to miss now,” Kaname replies with a deep chuckle.

“Really?” Zero’s eyes flicker up.

“That, and your eyes haven’t moved from the left side of the page since I got here.”

A red flush crawls up Zero’s ears at being so blatantly caught out, and he tugs the book closer on instinct. _Who the hell does this fucker think he is, waltzing in here like everything is perfectly fine between us?_ The hunter’s teeth grind together before he forces himself to liken back to Dr. Avery’s words and force down the anger threatening to take him over once more.

_“Give your mate a chance to explain, he deserves to have his side of the story heard too. Then you can decide if you wish to be angry or not.”_

He really hates it when she’s right. But he can’t resist ribbing the pureblood at least a little bit. “I’m not sure you can afford my thoughts, they cost a lot more than a penny, just so you know.”

“Name your price, and I’ll gladly pay it.”

“Way more than you could afford.”

Kaname smiles, indulgently at his response. “I would like to hear them anyway if you’re open to sharing.”

Zero pauses before lowering the book to his lap, placing the silken ribbon beside him in between pages to serve as a marker. It’s as good of an invitation as any and Kaname takes it, striding over to sit beside him on the floor just as Zero pulls his knees to his chest.

“I’m sorry that I hurt you.” Kaname murmurs. 

Even the apology is so _like_ him that it hurts, in more ways than one that is. He’s not sorry for doing it, for keeping secrets from the hunter, but he’s sorry that Zero was hurt by it. Of course, he is; because he’s _Kaname._

“Tell me what is bothering you.”

Zero sighs, hating that even now, months after starting therapy he’s still no good at discussing feelings it seems.

“I don’t know if I’m ready to.” Is it because he dreads the answers he will get? Hell, if he knows. Or maybe it’s because Sara Shirabuki has him scared, terrified in a way he hasn’t experienced since his childhood and he isn’t ready to talk about that yet with anyone. His hand rises to his throat of its own accord, as a faint shudder wracks the hunter at the memory of invisible hands choking him.

“Thirsty?” Kaname questions.

Zero shakes his head. 

“No. I just- fuck.” His head lolls backward against the wall, looking upwards at the vaulted ceiling as a shaky yawn leaves him. “I’m exhausted, I just don’t want to _think_ anymore, I’m so fucking sick of thinking. Sometimes I really wish I could turn my brain off.”

Kaname hums in sympathy, all-too-aware of such a feeling himself. When thoughts overwhelm, and everything suddenly seems like too much, too fast. 

Zero sidles closer to bury himself against the pureblood’s side, entwining his arms around the pureblood’s middle and hiding his face in Kaname’s chest, inhaling his distinct earthy scent. Not a trace of sweetness. 

“Distract me. _Please,_ I need to not feel right now.”

He should have denied his mate right then and there; a better man would have said ‘no,’ given Zero’s emotional state. But having the silver-haired man pressed so warmly against him, closer than they’d been in _weeks_ is a temptation that even Kaname is too weak to resist. 

Kaname hums as his mate’s lips trail gently along the line of the older man’s jaw in feather-light touches. 

“And how shall I do that?”

“Guess you’ll just have to figure something out.” 

A shudder wracks the pureblood as Zero’s fangs gently scrape at the skin of his neck, just the faintest tease of sharpness against his skin, but it’s enough to have him aching for more, shivering, anticipating them sinking into his flesh, drinking drop after drop.

Zero pulls away from his neck, moving up to draw his mate into a kiss. Arousal curls in the hunter’s gut as he opens his mouth to the pureblood’s tongue and he purposefully skims his fangs on Kaname’s bottom lip before drawing it into his mouth and eagerly sucking on the droplets of blood that bead at the surface of the wound.

A smirk curls at Zero’s lips when Kaname groans into his mouth at the action, arching closer to the hunter while Zero palms Kaname’s growing erection through the fabric of his pants. When Zero finally grows fed up enough waiting he removes, only to grab Kaname beneath his thighs and lift him up.

The pureblood gasps sharply at the sudden action and wraps his legs around Zero as the hunter carries him over to the shiny black surface of the piano. Zero isn’t usually in a giving mood like this, most of the time preferring to be on the bottom, which is fine with Kaname. But this is good too, and Kaname _definitely_ isn’t going to complain. He spares a second, using his powers to lock the door on the far side of the room before pulling Zero down into another kiss.

This time there is no gentleness between them, it’s an act of fucking and little else, the way Zero drives into the pureblood hard and fast. Kaname’s nails leave behind shallow grooves in the surface of the piano as he moves in time with Zero’s thrusts. If the pureblood experiences any pain from the roughness of their coupling, he doesn’t comment on it, save for the desperate sounds being wrenched from him. No, the time for gentleness between them has passed.

It’s not long before they both collapse to the floor after their release, sweat, blood, and deep bruises painting their bodies. Zero eyes where droplets of Kaname’s release covered the shiny black instrument and winces at the image of the servant that will no doubt be tasked with cleaning it up.

The brunette grimaces as his mate’s release leaks down his thighs, wet and sticky. 

“Mhm, now you know what I have to deal with,” Zero says with a breathless chuckle upon seeing his reaction. Don’t get him wrong—he likes sex, he really does—what he _doesn’t_ like is the mess that follows when not using a condom. Plus, he does take a perverse satisfaction in seeing his typically put-together mate so disheveled like this.

Kaname glares at him for the teasing; like this, it’s so easy to pretend that everything is normal and that between them they _don’t_ have a list of problems that stretches on for miles. Like everything is okay between them, and Zero definitely _isn’t_ allowing his doubts to creep up on him even now.

He’s not sure who first suggests getting cleaned up but somehow, they find their way back to Kaname’s bedroom. There, they shower together and Zero strokes his mate through a second orgasm beneath the spray of the jets. By the time they emerge, the water is cold on Zero’s pruney fingers, and the mirrors are clouded with condensation.

Zero stretches his arms above his head, rubbing a towel over his hair. Faint golden rays peek out over the sky, and he spares a moment to take in the sight before drawing the curtains shut with a big yawn. There’s the fleeting thought of how easy it would be _not_ to close them at all, to let the sun rise high and allow the daylight to take him, swallow him whole.

Kaname drags him into bed before he can though. The weight of the brunette’s arms is suddenly more constrictive than comforting around the hunter, and Zero suddenly wants nothing more than to pull away. He doesn’t. 

“Why me?” Zero asks.

“What?”

Zero wriggles in Kaname’s grasp, turning to lay on his back. 

“I mean, why _me?_ Why do you want me as your mate?” Kaname could have literally anyone. If looks alone weren’t enough, his wealth and power would be enough for anyone to live happily with. So why Zero?

“Such a strange question to ask,” Kaname murmurs. “Why does anyone do anything?”

“Stop trying to change the subject with your philosophical bullshit, Kaname. It’s not going to work. I’m serious. I don’t have power or wealth or- or _anything,_ I’m a fucking level _D_. Why me?”

“Have you ever considered that it is because I love you?” Kaname returns with a nuzzle to the hunter’s silver hair, before pulling back to gaze down at the male next to him. “I don’t want nor need power or wealth. I simply want _you_ , Zero, I couldn’t care less if you were a level D or a human or anything else.”

Zero frowns, his first instinct to protest those words that are almost certainly too good to be true. Nothing comes for free, least of all _affection._

“You really mean that?” God, he’s being _needy_ , needing reassurance like this, but he can’t help but doubt his mate after _that woman_ ’s words.

“If I didn’t, would I have returned after seven years?” Kaname returns, pulling Zero close as the hunter rests his head on the pureblood’s chilled, bare chest. “What is really bothering you?”

“I just told you.”

“ _Zero,”_ Kaname says. “I know you, and I know that’s not all of it. Something else is on your mind, I can tell.”

Zero frowns against pale skin.

“Fine - I met a woman today, a pureblood,” Zero admits as he traces nonsensical patterns on Kaname’s chest with a finger. “She said she was your fiancée.” He eyes the dark mole on the right side of Kaname’s chest, below his nipple, noting smugly that Sara’s photo didn’t have that. It’s at least a small measure of relief knowing that photograph wasn’t of his mate.

“A lot of women claim to be my fiancée, I assure you, all of them are false,” Kaname says. Though Zero should know that. After all, the only one he’s ever been engaged to is Yuuki, and they both decided to call that off years ago. 

“Yeah, I figured. Just-“

“Just?”

“I don’t know, I guess this one just got underneath my skin.” _Not good enough. Level D._ He can hear Sara’s taunting voice echoing in his head even now.

“Well allow me to assuage your worries by assuring you, and you are the only one more me, Zero. Always.” Kaname promises.

Those words reek of lies and Zero’s blood boils. 

“What did you do during the time you were gone?” _Did you take another lover?_ It’s not even that he’s angry at the idea. Jealous, perhaps. But Sara had been right when she said they weren’t together at that time. If Kaname would just be fucking honest and _tell him_ , goddamnit!

“I still can’t tell you that yet.”

“Can’t or won’t?”

“Can’t. You wouldn’t understand, and it would only make you hate me if I told you right now. Forgive me for being selfish, but I can’t bear to see you look at me like that.”

“I hate you now, _because_ you won’t tell me.” Zero points out. “I’m not a kid. For fuck’s sake, when I tell you things you need to return the favor, that’s how a relationship works!”

“I will tell you, I promise. When the time is right.”

“And when will that be?”

“As of now, I’m not sure.”

Zero scoffs and pulls away from the pureblood to sit on the edge of the bed. “Did you take another lover? While you were away, I mean.”

A furrow appears between the pureblood’s brows. “What? No, of course not. You must believe me, I would ne-“

_“I_ must believe _you?”_ Zero echoes, incredulously. “I don’t have to do shit. And it’s unfair of you to ask me to buy everything you say when you turn right around and prove that you don’t tell me things. How can I trust you when all you ever do is lie to my face?”

“Zero, please.” The hunter shakes off the pureblood’s hand when he makes to grab Zero’s wrist. “I promise everything will be made clear. If you would only allow me a bit more time.”

“I gave you seven fucking years,” Zero snaps as he stands and grabs his robe. He can’t even face at the brunette, knowing he would see the humiliation burning hot on the hunter’s cheeks. God, he’s been so stupid. 

It’s like there’s a hand wrapped around his heart, slowly squeezing the life from him. It hurts like nothing else, this dirty humiliation staining Zero’s skin. He feels so used. He was a fool to think the pureblood would ever have changed. _Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me._

He wanted so badly to trust that Kaname had changed. But a leopard can’t change its spots. Kaito was fucking right. He takes a breath and says the words that he knows will damn them both. 

“This was a mistake.”

Kaname stiffens. “Zero-“

“Don’t touch me!” Zero snarls, twirling out of his grasp. He lowers his head and steps back, shrinking in on himself. “After- after the party, I’m going back home with Ren.” If he stays he’ll spend the rest of his life continually doubting, always questioning whatever Kaname says. Is that any way to live? With that paranoia always lurking, following him around like a shadow?

“Zero, please. Can’t we talk about this?” The pureblood’s voice breaks on the words that cut at his throat like glass.

“I think we’re done talking about this.”

“It isn’t safe,” Kaname pleads, desperate to find a way to fix this. Whatever Zero wants, he would gladly do it. He’d give up anything to keep the hunter at his side, bring down the very moon if he asked for it. 

“Then I’ll find a new place. And when I do don’t ever contact me again.” Those words are bitter and burning on Zero’s tongue like acid. Spots flash in his vision as he takes another step backward. “All you ever do is lie and manipulate people. I can’t- I can’t deal with you ruining my life any more than you already have.”

“I love you.” Kaname rasps, and it sounds so much like an excuse, even to his own ears.

There’s a bark of laughter. 

“See? I don’t even know if I can believe those words anymore.” Zero wraps his arms around himself, glancing briefly at Kaname’s face before glancing away, unable to even stand to look at the man anymore. “I can’t do it anymore. All these lies, the secrets, the second-guessing. I just can’t!” 

“Zero, please-“ And the hunter flinches at how much the pureblood’s voice has lost its power, how defeated Kaname sounds. The brunette buries his head in one hand. _Please, Zero, let me fix this, tell me how to make this right._

“Just- don’t. Don’t, Kaname.”

The brunette’s outstretched hand falls to his side in defeat. Suddenly this all seems like a nightmare of some sort, a horrible abyss that he is lost adrift in. His head hangs in his hands. It’s over. He’s lost.

“I understand.”

When the door closes behind Zero, it’s sound echoes throughout the silent room.


	24. Chapter 24: We don’t own our heavens now, we only own our hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zero struggles to drown his sorrows in alcohol and Kaname wonders if all they're capable of is hurting each other anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, quick note because I know this wasn't obvious in the last few chapters - I want to make it clear that this isn't all 100% Kaname's fault, like Zero believes. But Zero's self-loathing and trust issues make him at fault here too, because these issues are preventing him from sitting down at communicating properly and hearing Kaname out. If that makes sense. Basically, it's a lot easier to put the blame on someone else than examine yourself, especially when having relationship problems like this.
> 
>  
> 
> Just wanted to clear that up lol. I don't hate Kaname, I promise!

Hunters fill the bar, packing in darkly-clad bodies amongst the tables; among them Zero files in with Kaito’s arm around his shoulders and Ava and Dahlia striding in ahead of both men. He doesn’t get why they’re already celebrating – he doesn’t technically resume his position as President until next week (waiving all exceptions until now, that is), but it _is_ nice to get away from the manor for a while.

It’s grown into an undesirable place these last few weeks, saturated with stilted conversations that merely serve to occupy the silence and vacant spaces trying to mask tension that everybody can identify, running taught between him and Kaname. Whether they want it to or not, it’s impossible for it not to disturb everyone around them. The servants are stiffer and try to be as small, as quiet as possible, attending with bated breath at each mealtime to determine if this would be when things inevitably come to a head or not, even Ren keeps to their rooms most of the time.

Zero has taken up residence in the separate quarters, nevertheless most days he winds up glaring at the ceiling instead of slumbering and something tells him Kaname fares no better than him, judging by the matching sets of dark circles they both wear beneath their eyes each night. It’s absurd – even when there’s not even a foot between their rooms, it seems might as well be an entire ocean spanning the divide between him and Kaname.

He considers extending an olive branch, several times almost breaking down and just speaking to the man, but each time he pauses in front of the door to the study his hand freezes before knocking. 

_He doesn’t care for you. He doesn’t even trust you enough to tell you anything. How could he love someone without even trusting them?_

The pit of uncertainty in his stomach grows bigger with each day. It wounds him that the pureblood still doesn’t trust him, not enough to tell him about the gala or- or whatever had transpired in those missing years. A sharp repetition of their past together and Zero _hates_ it. 

He misses the warmth of his mate beside him and the warm crinkle of the brunette’s eyes when he smiles genuinely. Of course, he wants to be with Kaname, just- not like this.

Kaito drags Zero over to one of the wooden tables in the bar, oblivious and uninterested with his friend’s troubles before claiming the chair beside the younger hunter.

Not the most well-established bar or the most welcoming either, it’s a modest hole-in-the-wall place situated in what was perhaps a shadier part of the city. Overhead dim lighting covers the place and various dents and marks on the walls tell anecdotes of their own; not much to look at, but it’s one of their frequent haunts and carries an undeniable charm to it now.

Of course, Kaito takes it upon himself to invite _every_ hunter within a 100-mile radius or at least the ones that actually like Zero that is, so that explains the perpetual horde of people. Hunters will welcome _any_ excuse to get drunk.

A solid _thwack_ to his back makes Zero jump in his chair. “Congratulations on not dying, kid.”

He raises a brow at Yagari as the man holds a bottle of beer up in a toast and shrugs. ““Had to reschedule that for next month – busy schedule and all that.”

A heavy arm leans on his head. “You ain’t quitting on me _now,_ are ya?”

“Haven’t decided yet.”

Yagari snorts and ruffled the man’s hair only to see the annoyed frown between Zero’s brows. 

“Good to have you back, kid.” He says before wading back into the crowd of other hunters, zigzagging his way through the crowd towards a table of older hunters.

“I’m still not a kid anymore, by the way!” Zero calls out behind him.

“You are compared to this old man!” Yagari returns, to the delight of the older hunters who raise their glasses amid a round of agreeing laughter.

Ava tuts her tongue and shakes her head. “Sometimes I fear that man drinks too much. It can’t be healthy for him.”

“Ah, he’ll be fine, he’s got a liver made of steel,” Kaito assures her. At this point that might be more _literal_ than metaphorical. His palms hit the table as he grins at Zero, impatient to move on from discussing the old man’s physical health onto a more _fun_ activity. “Who’s up for shots?”

After a round of oyster shots, washed down with some whiskey Zero is eventually able to let himself relax a while and thoughts of Kaname drift until the man is the farthest thing from his mind as he munches distractedly on fries from the basket in the center of the table.

Dahlia laughs at some story Kaito is telling about a job he was on some time ago now, but it’s one that never fails to captivate. “You should have known better than to try silver with a siren, love.”

“Yeah, I know that _now.”_

She shakes her head in dismay, and, come to think of it, this is the most casual Zero has seen her in a long while, he realizes. She’s got a beer in one hand, other one hanging over the back of her chair and instead of her usual combat gear she’s opted for a leather jacket over her tank and jeans. It’s a refreshing variation from the conventional stiff façade she puts up, not that he’s any better though, Zero supposes.

“So, what about you, Doll? What super-secret business have you been up to?” Kaito asks with an exaggerated waggle of his brows, leaning forward to seize a fry from Zero’s finger with his teeth and earning a glower in return. 

The woman shrugs and raises a brow at the familiar nickname the man uses for her. “Sorry to disappoint you love, but nothing terribly exciting if that’s what you were hoping for. Some illegitimate blood tablets have started appearing on the black market and my team and I were sent in to sniff around a potential supplier. It’s as boring as it sounds, I assure you.”

Kaito whistles under his breath. “You find anything juicy?”

She throws him a calculating glance. “Now, now, you know I can’t tell you that.”

“Boo,” He pouts, sticking out his tongue. “You’re no fun.”

“Yes, I prefer to avoid disclosing classified information when I can because I wish to _keep_ my job. How terribly dull of me.”

Another round of shots is ordered and Kaito somehow manages to draw Dahlia into a debate about proper warding and which runes to use and which _not_ to, a conversation that Zero blissfully does his best to tune out. He’s feeling rather pleasantly buzzed by now, and everything seems so bright and colorful around him.

With Dahlia and Kaito busy arguing, Ava chooses that moment to scoot her chair closer to Zero so they can talk without having to shout over the noise around them. 

“How’ve you been, hun?” She asks with concern pulling at her lips.

“Fine, I guess.”

“Mhm. You _guess?”_

“I’m fine, Ava. Honestly.”

The redhead purses her lips and sips at the colorful blue cocktail in her hand, eyes saying that she doesn’t believe him for a second. Thankfully, before she can press the issue a young blonde hunter approaches their table with a drinking challenge for Dahlia. 

A challenge which, she accepts with an eager glint in her dark eyes.

Apparently, blondie’s name is Damien, Ava tells Zero and he’s a well-valued member of Dahlia’s squad and looks up the woman as a mentor. A mentor he’s in dire need of because, as it turns out, the man is about as good as drinking as he is at hunting, conceding victory to the witch after a mere five beers and looking a tad green in the face while Dahlia seems hardly even fazed.

The small crowd they’ve gathered cheer at Dahlia’s victory with Ava leaning in to give her a wet kiss in celebration. Zero almost feels bad for the poor kid, everyone knows Dahlia was well-versed in the art of drinking and can hold her liquor like no other. He’d once thought it was because witches metabolized alcohol quicker than others even, before Ava gracefully informed him that was false – Dahlia is just good at drinking, plain and simple.

Drinks and food flow freely and abundantly for the rest of the night as stories are passed around and traded, embellished each time or details forgotten. Zero doesn’t even have to _try_ and smile, his lips curving of their own accord. Loud caws of laughter and shouting rings out through the place for _hours._

Sometime people eventually began to filter out through the doors as outside the night sky begins to grow lighter and morning looms in the distance. Zero patiently bids all the hunters farewell as they leave, though he doesn’t dare stand up with the room spinning as fast as it is.

Even Dahlia and Ava leave, with the darker woman planting a wet kiss on his cheek as she does so before trailing after her wife. It seems Kaito and him are some of the last few to linger still. If he was honest, Zero hasn’t spoken to his friend that much all evening, he doesn’t know what to say, given there isn’t much to talk about and a certain pureblood is Kaito’s most definite least favorite subject to discuss.

He stretches his arms above his head as he stands with an embarrassed half-smile. “I should probably head home before daylight hits; Princess is probably losing his shit right now.” Zero murmurs. 

Kaito says something in response, but Zero doesn’t altogether catch it. 

“What?”

“I said, you don’t _have_ to go home to him. You know that, right?” Kaito’s expression is unreadable as he mirrors Zero’s stance, folding his arms.

“Where else would I go?”

“Stay with me.” Kaito offers.

Zero smiles at the man, it’s a cordial thing of Kaito to offer but he can’t do that to his oldest friend. He can’t intrude on Kaito’s space like that, knowing how much the older man appreciates his seclusion. “You’re joking.”

“I’m not.” The older hunter’s expression is deadly serious and the intensity in his eyes makes Zero pause.

“Kaito, you like your solitude better than anyone I know. Even Yagari doesn’t despise people as much as you.”

“ _People,”_ Kaito retorts as they walk over to the door. “I hate people. Not you.”

“Gee, I’m flattered. Seriously, Kaito, you’re my best friend but I couldn’t ask you to- “

A harsh bark of laughter cuts him off. “Your friend. That’s still all you see me as, isn’t it?”

“Yes?” Zero’s mind is a wreck right now, not entirely due to the alcohol either, but he can’t follow Kaito’s words at all. “What else would you b-“

Before Zero can finish speaking Kaito steps forward, gripping him by the lapels and pulling him forward to press his lips against the younger hunter’s. Zero stiffens in shock beneath the heated press of Kaito’s lips against him – far more inexperienced compared to Kaname’s and tasting of salt and tequila. The kiss only lasts for a second or two, if even that much before Zero pushes the older hunter away from him.

Zero can do little else but stand there astonished and disgusted at his friend’s actions as Kaito stumbles backward at his shove. There isn’t a single doubt in his mind that Kaito _meant_ that kiss just now, not even _Zero_ is that dense. But… how had he not noticed this before? How had he never seen that Kaito might have feelings for him? Even now, it seems such a strange possibility to think of the man he considers his best friend, his _brother,_ wanting to kiss him and touch him and it makes bile rise up in Zero’s throat. He loves Kaito, of course he does – but doubtless not in the way the other man wants him to, that much is crystal clear now. 

It makes sense now; his hatred of Kaname and poorly concealed resentment that hid jealousy whenever Zero had spoken of other lovers in the past. Oh god, how could he have been so fucking blind? He’s a moron for not recognizing it sooner.

Kaito steps backward with an unpleasant smile, like he already knows that Zero can’t return his affections, and Zero just purses his lips as he looks away from his friend. “I-I have to go, I’ll see you around.”

Running has always been what Zero Kiryuu does best.

Kaname watches as Ren rushes to Zero’s side the moment his mate steps through the door, blind to the worry that’s been chewing away at the two purebloods in his absence. His smile at the sight quickly fades when Ren’s nose wrinkles at the poignant yet unknown scent around the hunter. Unfortunately, Kaname doesn’t need any help with placing the unmistakable strong stench of alcohol.

Zero stumbles on his feet, shoulder knocking hard against the doorway. “Are you okay?” Ren asks, steadying him with a hand on his shoulder. 

“Fine,” Zero manages with comparatively little slurring as he makes his way over to the couch as something in his chest clenches painfully at the furrow of concern between his mate’s brows.

Kaname’s ire strengthens at the nonchalance in his voice. As though Ren and he were not sitting in the manor only a short while ago without any clue why Zero had disappeared. He stalks over and grasps his mate’s chin, looking at glossy lilac eyes with black pupils constricted to scarcely more than a pinprick. 

“You’re _drunk._ ” 

“That I am, princess, that I fucking am.” Zero confesses. 

Ren wrings their hands nervously together, not looking at Zero. He smells all _erroneous_ and there’s a slurring of his words that makes their skin crawl. Alcohol and Zero have never mixed well - more often than naught it culminates in horrid nightmares for the hunter, memories better off forgotten resurfacing under the influence of the substance. They used to lie awake with their hands over their ears attempting to block out the sounds of Zero’s nightmares when he drank.

As if sensing their apprehension, Kaname’s mahogany gaze flickers to them. “You can go upstairs now, Ren. I’ll handle this.”

It’s a dismissal if they’ve ever heard one, gentle though it may be and never before has Ren been so elated to leave. They give a brusque nod before silently slinking up the stairs.

“So, you were out drinking.” Kaname says after the teen has disappeared. “How nice of you to remember to tell us.”

Zero heaves out a sigh, tilting his head back towards the ceiling. “It was just with Kaito and a few friends, not a big deal.” 

“Perhaps not for you. But with morning approaching do you even _know_ how worried Ren and I were?” The pureblood hisses, all pretense of nicety has evaporated at this point. “We had no idea where you were and here to come to tell us you were off drinking with your friends!”

“I don’t see why I need to tell you everything I do. You aren’t my fucking caretaker.” Zero shot back with as much venom as he could muster. He was too intoxicated to any real anger into his words at this point though. He’d fucked up. Zero knew he’d fucked up and badly too. So why couldn’t he just apologize?

“Do you even comprehend how severely you scared Ren?”

_Fuck._ “I’ll apologize to them in the morning.” Even to his own ears it sounded like a horrible response. God, he hadn’t even considered how Ren might react.

Kaname presses a hand to his temple, massaging the building ache there. God, but he’s livid. Livid that Zero made them all worry that something dreadful had happened to him only to return hours later, three sheets to the wind.

Yes, Zero has a point. It shouldn’t be any of his business what Zero does on his own time, but can the hunter blame him for being _concerned?_ Zero is extremely heavily drunk at this point. Who knows what could have happened to him? 

And a drunk Zero is a Zero whose mind drifts into a terribly sinister place. He’s been known to harm himself while under the influence of liquor in the past and Kaname made sure never to leave him alone while drunk partially for that reason. What if that had happened again tonight when Kaname wasn’t there? 

The brunette clenches and unclenches his hands by his side, irritation being eclipsed by something else as he stops. Alcohol isn’t the sole thing Zero _reeks_ of tonight. No, there’s a sharper, cleaner smell, on that generally accompanies a certain other hunter and Kaname’s teeth grate together as envy burns his tongue.

“Well, I am certain you had quite a fun time with Takamiya.”

Zero glances at him in incredulity. “What? How do you-“

“I can smell him on you,” The pureblood spits. “It’s impossible not to.”

“And what the fuck is _that_ supposed to mean?”

“Nothing at all. Only that you and Kaito are remarkably close.”

Zero laughs before he fixes Kaname with a wintry sneer. “So that’s what this is about. You’re fucking jealous.”

“I most definitely am not.” 

Zero shakes his head and stands on unsteady legs. “Bullshit. You know, say what you want about Kaito, but at least _he_ doesn’t fucking lie to my face every chance he gets!”

The brunette flinches at Zero’s words, hating the rancor in his mate’s tone but powerless to disagree with him because Zero is _right._ He is right, and it smarts the pureblood that they both know it.

“Mad about someone touching your property again?” Zero speaks icily.

_“You are mine, Zero. My property to do with as I please. No one else’s.”_

It stings Kaname to have the very words he’d once said thrown back in his face like that. Back at Cross Academy, when he’d been youthful and pompous and not at all distant from the very purebloods he despises now. He has apologized a thousand times over and regretted those words till this day, but all the same he _had_ spoken them at one point. All he is capable of is harming people it seems - Zero more than anyone. Kaname’s shoulders slump. 

“Maybe Kaito should be your mate then.” He says with a forced indifferent stiffness to his tone. Losing Zero is the last thing he wishes, but if the hunter wants to leave, far be it from Kaname to hold him back.

Zero frowns and swallows around the sudden swell in his throat and the odd twinge in his heart. _So that’s it then? You’re willing to let me go just like that?_ He’s not sure what he was expecting. Kaname to argue at least? But he doesn’t, the pureblood is prepared to let him go, just like that, and Zero? Well, he isn’t altogether certain what to make of that.

The hunter shoves at the pureblood’s chest. “Screw you, Kaname.”

Without another word Zero turns and trots up the stairs in uneven steps, taking them two at a time and somehow managing to navigate the maze of hallways until he reaches his room where he collapses onto the bed. 

The pureblood’s head fall into his hands with a frustrated growl as Zero disappears, fingers clenching uselessly at brown strands of hair. How did it come to this? They’d been good once, he and Zero, with his coldness balancing Zero’s violent temper and the hunter’s bluntness contrasting his own carefully woven words at times. Yes, they balance each other, he and Zero – where one is weak, the other is strong and vice versa. Or so it had once been. What had those superficial differences magnified? When had they stopped communicating with each other, _trusting_ each other?

_“You sure you don’t have some alternative motive to all this? Some hidden agenda of some kind?”_

_“Rest assured, little hunter, I didn’t bring you out here to murder if that’s what you’re thinking. I’m hurt, I thought you at least trusted me better than that, Zero.”_

_The younger man folded his arms with a roll of his eyes. “Kuran, I’ll trust you when hell freezes over. And don’t call me Zero.”_

_“If you insist, darling.”_

_“Don’t-“_

_“Dear.”_

_With a resigned sigh, Zero gave up and loosened up a bit as they strolled. There was no avoiding the pureblooded asshole and Zero will be damned if he lets the man’s presence bother him. Hell, he’d tolerating Kaname enough since he started sleeping with him months ago (no strings attached, of course) surely one night wouldn’t be the death of Zero. Plus he doubted even Kaname could ruin such a breathtaking sight like this anyway._

_Carefully pruned roses clambered up wrought-iron arches above them, lining the pathway and narrow, strings of fairy lights weave in between them, hundreds of them lighting the whole thing up. He’d be lying if he said it wasn’t beautiful and the seclusion made it easier to just unwind and take all of it in without it being ruined by boisterous crowds._

_“How did you manage to grow them like this?” Zero asked over his shoulder, no longer paying any regard to where the pureblood was. He gently ran his fingers across one vibrant, red petal, one that looked so distinct to the white rose beside it._

_“I didn’t,” Kaname murmured, suddenly so close the hunter the vampire’s warm breath skims his tattoo._

_Zero turned around to face the man with his brows scrunched up in consternation, fighting his instincts to panic at the sensation of a vampire’s breath skimming his skin. He peered up at the vampire, framed by glistening white lights. His gaze flitted to Kaname’s lips and back up to his intense, crimson eyes._

_“What do you mean?”_

_The vampire chuckled as though sharing a joke between them. “I mean, that I arranged it like this. For you.”_

_Zero’s lavender eyes flew wide at that statement, his heart tripping over itself in his chest. This had to be a joke of some kind. Sure, Kaname had been paying him a bit more attention these last few months and well, he’d been increasingly insistent on accompanying Zero off-campus, but the hunter just guessed it was due to another one of the man’s whims. There was no way that meant what he thought it did. “What? Why?”_

_There was a gleam to the pureblood’s stare now as he leaned in closer, hooking a finger beneath Zero’s chin as he brought his lips closer to the hunter’s. “Why do you think?”_

_And then he claimed the young hunter’s lips in a kiss, beneath the canopy of roses. Zero stiffened for a second, noting that it wasn’t as awful as he thought it would be, being kissed by Kaname. An electric tingle raced down his spine and prickled over his skin. He relaxed into Kaname’s arms, tentative at first, more so because he’d never even been kissed than anything else. But he let the pureblood lead and followed his movements._

_Zero’s cheeks flush as a whimper escaped him when Kaname’s hands clutched at his hips, tugging him closer to the man. He let his eyes drift closed and buried his hands in the man’s hair in exchange as his heart thudded almost painfully in his chest. Never would he have imagined, in his wildest dreams that he’d be kissing Kaname Kuran of all people – or that it felt good, for that matter. It wasn’t even the kiss itself that felt great, too many awkward angles and inexperience getting in the way there, but the sheer fact that it was Kaname. Like with everything between he and Kaname, there was something so different about it than with anyone else, a sensation of rightness, perhaps._

_There had always been something between him and Kaname, an unseen force that shoved them together. Two planets forever bound in each other’s orbit. No matter what, it seemed like it was always him and Kaname. Even if Yuuki hadn’t ever existed, Zero imagines they would have collided sooner or later, both men connected to each other in a way. Maybe this was where they were heading all along._

_Zero decided he didn’t much care to speculate too much on fate and other might-bes and gripped Kaname’s jacket, hanging onto the pureblood instead._

A bittersweet smile graces the pureblood’s lips at the memory of his own eagerness to impress Zero that night and the hunter’s innocent inexperience when he kissed him. _Seems like centuries ago now._ Centuries since he first laid eyes on a pair of fiery, violet eyes and found himself at a loss for words. Yet not a night passes by even now where Zero fails to beguile him all over again.

Where did it all go so wrong? He sighs and runs a palm over his face. _How do I fix this?_

At times like these, Kaname can almost imagine the observant gaze of Haruka and Juri observing him like the parents they both struggled to be for him. He imagines their dismayed faces and disapproving glances. They would have loved Zero, he’s certain of it. Even now though, he already knows what Juri would most likely tell him, were she still here, how her eyes would crinkle at the corners as she’d fix him with that patient smile of hers and she’d say,

_“If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, they're yours; if they don’t, they never were, my darling.”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still amazed and awe-struck by the amount of kudos and comments you all leave on this story. akljsdkfsjs y'all are going to make me tear up over here, but I really am eternally grateful you all take the time to read this story and are (hopefully) enjoying it so far. Hugs and kisses to you all! XOXOXO


	25. Chapter 25: Rulers make bad lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of the Gala has arrived.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting closer to the finale now! I'm so sad, cause I loved writing this story but I think I'm pretty satisfied with the ending I've decided on and I think you guys will be to. Many thanks to all of you who have stuck around this far and leave comments and kudos! Love you all!

_Rulers make bad lovers_

_You better put your kingdom up for sale_

Zero is finishing attaching the silver ear cuff when he overhears a knock from the doorway, light catching off the amethysts embedded within silver metal when he shakes his head with a supplemental roll of his eyes. “I already told you there is no way in _hell_ you will catch me wearing a tie, Lisette. And no—I don’t care if it brings out my eyes!”

When there’s no reply from the servant he twists around, only to have his balance waver as his eyes settle on the tall brunette blocking the entryway. Kaname is done up in a form fitting suit in elegant black and accented with rich red hues, his chocolate curls tamed for the evening into styled waves. It isn’t a bad sight and Zero’s throat tightens as he forces himself to glance away first. 

“Oh, it’s you,” Zero mutters, still adjusting the cuff in the mirror. For this evening he’s changed out his customary plain metal studs and cuffs; in its place is an ornate cuff of glittering silver that climbs up the side of his ear in loops and whirls, the delicate metal creating a complex design studded with amethysts and rubies which loop to connect to ornately designed silver rose earrings that hang from a piercing in the lobe of each ear. 

 

He’d ordered the jewelry months ago without this explicit purpose in mind, back when things were good between him and Kaname—hence his request for amethyst as well as rubies. Although now the sight of the red gems only sends a twinge of hurt through him.

Kaname eyes the reflection of his mate in the mirror. Zero cuts quite the figure, one that the pureblood eagerly devours. The hunter is wearing an expertly tailored jacket in a bright, stunning white (unbuttoned, of course) and dark slacks (with just a hint of violet to their color) that flatter his form, along with a crisp matching blouse. If this were any other event, there would probably be a few buttons of his shirt undone, showing off a pale neck and sharp collarbones, but they _are_ going to a gala filled with vampires and Zero, spirited though he may be, isn’t _foolish._

There’s a thin cascade of fine fabric that shimmers between silver and white leading down from Zero’s waist to gather and trail behind him on the floor. Viewed from the right angle it might give the illusion of a skirt which was no doubt the intention behind it, Kaname recognizes with a slight smirk. Zero has never been one to let anyone stop him from dressing as he prefers, whether that means traditionally masculine or feminine clothes, he doesn’t care what anyone else thinks and never has. The council however, will be significantly less than pleased and that knowledge makes the pureblood’s grin widen even further. 

“Need something?” Zero prompts, meeting the vermillion gaze of the other in the mirror. His normally wild silver strands have been slicked back away from his face for the occasion, albeit once again—due more to Lisette’s insistence than his. The old bat may annoy him at times, but she’s been serving Kaname ever since Zero lived with him nearly a decade ago now and some days he doesn’t know how on earth he survived without her this long. 

Kaname sidles up behind him instead of responding, seizing the opportunity to press a kiss beneath the silver-haired hunter’s ear. “You look dashing.”

“Thanks, so do you,” Zero returns softly with an imitation of a smile, his heart stammering and stumbling over itself in his chest at the concession. Kaname’s arms move to wrap around him and for a moment Zero considers them in the mirror; purple and white contrasting against the brunette’s sharp black and crimson. They make quite the pair and a familiar lurch wracks Zero’s heart, smile vanishing from his lips quick as it occurs.

He dances out of the pureblood’s grasp as emotion surges within him, hands curling into fists at his side and in this moment Zero can’t help but identify with the mirror before him—fragile, breakable and wholly defenseless. He could shatter that mirror right now and it couldn’t do a damn thing to stop him. That’s how Zero feels—like at any moment now the slightest breeze could come along and knock him over, smashing him into a million tiny fragments. 

The hunter shifts his gaze away from Kaname, masking his expression from the man as he strides away from his mate, rejecting the hand Kaname extends towards him with a frown on his lips.

“Zero-“

“Why are you doing this?” Zero rasps, his lower lip wobbling as he speaks, while he resolutely keeps his gaze locked on the window, concentrating instead on the contours of pines and firs in the blackness of the night spreading over the grounds. He’s just so damn tired of all of this.

“Doing what?”

“ _This,”_ He gestures erratically between them with his hand. “One minute you’re all nice and- and _loving_ and the next you’re back to keeping secrets and hiding everything! I don’t know which one you really are anymore,” Zero tries, he genuinely does, to hold back the aching sadness but he just can’t anymore. His voice is more of a sob at this point than anything, but he refuses to even acknowledge that or the warm tears dripping down his face. “God, it’s like there’s two of you sometimes.”

Kaname’s shoulders curl forward as he hunches in on himself, wincing at Zero’s comments. He nearly reaches out for Zero again before he stops himself, hand limply falling back to his side. No, he isn’t worthy of Zero’s clemency, he might _never_ be. The pureblood knows that much, but it doesn’t stop his lips from pressing into a narrow line as his stomach rolls and coils itself up into knots, gazing at the ground and nothing else. This is after all, wholly his responsibility and he will bear whatever consequences Zero sees fit. He’d bear it all a thousand times over if it keeps Zero safe—safe from Shirabuki and her pawns, safe from the council and their schemes, safe from all of it and more. It’s the least Zero deserves after all Kaname has put him through. Yes, maybe it’s for the best if they separate after all.

“I know.”

Abruptly then, Zero turns from the window and Kaname is completely unprepared for and undone by the sight of his proud mate with tears staining his face. Kaname’s eyes widen with a weak gasp before he hurriedly schools his features back into that placid poker face of his. He hates how utterly broken those amethyst eyes are and it takes everything in him to resist the desire to console his mate, especially when Zero steps forward, slamming fists against the pureblood’s chest.

“Just fucking tell me _why!”_ He shrieks, hands clutching the fabric of the costly suit tightly, creasing the neat lines. Then, weaker, “Don’t I deserve that much?” 

“I’m sorry,” The pureblood chokes, then in a flash of vulnerability, finds himself leaning forward and pressing his lips to Zero’s forehead, inhaling the fresh whiff of hair product and beneath that, Zero’s shampoo. “I’m trying to protect you.”

“From _what?!”_ Zero pulls back to demand. “Stop with your goddamn games and just- _tell me!_ ” _If you loved me, if you trusted me, you’d tell me._

Kaname wavers, tempted— _too_ tempted to just give in and finally tell Zero everything, if merely to eliminate the suffering and wariness in those eyes. 

“It’s better if you don’t know, it’s safer that way, believe that much if nothing else. I don’t want you to get hurt, Zero.” So many occasions, he’s come close to losing him now. First to Shizuka, then Rido and later still Ichiru; he doesn’t think he can handle it again.

Zero presses his lips together into a slim line at the same moment his fingers tighten in the fabric of Kaname’s jacket; he opens his mouth to rebut, but a servant interrupts them before he can get so much as a syllable out.

An older woman glances briefly between them as though to ascertain the situation, heavy lines around her eyes deepening as she squints at Kaname, deep eyes briefly flickering to Zero in uncertainty. Lisette brushes a loose strand of graying hair from her face and lowers her hands from plump hips. “My apologies, masters. But if you wish to arrive at the Gala on time, you may want leave now. The car is waiting outside.”

Zero steps back from Kaname, smoothing down his clothes and wiping delicately at his eyes. “Right, right. Shit, time must have gotten away from me. Thanks, Lisette.”

The older woman spares the pureblood a last scrutinizing stare, making no attempt to disguise her antipathy for her employer. She, along with a few other servants have followed Kaname from the previous manor and has become somewhat of a friend to Zero, being among the only familiar faces in this new strange house. Sometimes the pureblood wonders if the only reason she still sticks around is for Zero’s sake, rather than his own.

Kaname makes a sweeping gesture with his arm for Zero to go first and the hunter strides out of the room with his head held high, determined not to let anyone else notice how pathetic he’s become. Lisette gives a slight clearing of her throat where she stands waiting outside in the hall, forcing a cold, damp cloth into the hunter’s waiting hands before he can object.

“It should help with the puffiness,” She says, motioning towards his eyes when Zero takes the cloth and fixes the elderly woman with a gratifying smile.

“His Highness, Kaname Kuran and his mate, Zero Kiryuu!”

Zero winces as their names are announced rather loudly over the room, garnering attention because _of course,_ everyone is overcome with the need to stop and gawk like their king is some unique and precious sight to behold. He turns away from their gaze to sweep over the rest of the room with a grimace.

The Gala is being held at some noble’s estate—whose name Zero doesn’t care to learn. White walls curve around the ballroom with a golden vaulted ceiling stretching overhead and white pillars situated throughout the room; an intricately patterned black and white tile shines beneath a shimmering chandelier overhead and Zero notices two hunters hovering next to a set of glass doors that lead out onto a balcony attached to the gardens.

For the first time in years he feels out of place - a peculiarity for all these strangers to ogle at and examine. Well, strangers that is aside from the few familiar faces he knows from the infrequent moments when he’s had to mingle in vampire society alongside his mate. 

A woman whom the hunter recognizes as a noble named Mara is lingering by the table of hors d'oeuvres and trying to make herself as insignificant as feasible in her black suit, but she offers the hunter a slight nod of recognition. Mara is a quiet woman who much prefers the company of her books and abhors these functions just as much as Zero does, so at least he isn’t alone in his aversion to these gatherings. 

He also catches a wink and a grin from a dark-haired noble who stands at the edge of the room. Ah, Arata—the man can be a little shit sometimes, but he isn’t bad to talk to, of course it helps that his mother had been a level D, so he doesn’t share most vampires’ contempt of them. Nevertheless, though they may be few and far between, it never hurts to see a few familiar faces around, helping to bolster the hunter’s nerves.

Much to his chagrin, Zero can also see most of the council present as well, save for Kairin, whose sister went into labor and demanded her presence tonight and Isaya, who - well he prefers his seclusion and his prominence as a pureblood means that no one can explicitly _force_ him to attend these parties, lucky bastard that he is. 

The hunter manages keep his expression carefully indifferent and takes Kaname’s offered hand, making his way down the marble steps and into the crowd alongside his mate, although in a vicious twist of irony, the distance between them somehow seems wider than it has ever been.

“Are you alright?” Kaname questions as he pauses, halfway down the stairs with a glimpse of concern crossing his features.

Zero forces down his remorse at placing such an emotion on his mate’s face, reminding himself that he’s still very-much furious with Kaname and more than a little scorned by his actions. “Never better.”

The brunette’s answering gaze says he doesn’t believe him, not one bit. _Good,_ Zero thinks, _let’s see how you like being lied to for once._ Kaname doesn’t press him though and instead simply offers his arm once more, which Zero doesn’t take this time, preferring instead to walk at his side as they make their way into the crowd and suffer through the obligatory greetings.

Something is bothering Zero, and it irks Kaname that the hunter refuses to share it with him. He supposes he doubtless should have foreseen as much, with their argument from earlier still lingering stale and biting between them, but that does little to mollify his battered ego. 

Slowly he and Zero weave a path through the crowd, pausing to greet those of influence or engage in amiable conversation and it doesn’t escape his notice that most greet his mate with a distinctly frostier reception than they do the pureblood himself. At those times Kaname smiles before shifting the conversation towards the silver-haired man, asking for his judgment or thoughts on some such matter—to the mutual annoyance of both whichever vampire he’s speaking to _and_ his mate.

Zero, for his part is remarkably good at tuning out most of the boring parts and focusing on what draws his interests, listening in to rumors floating around the room at random and catching interesting tidbits of various conversations here and there. Tensions between two families or a rumored marriage between two purebloods or an affair between a noble and a human; unfortunately, these useful bits prove few and far between as most of it is simple small talk that makes him want to rip his hair out.

Still, he smiles and nods through it all and makes sure to snag glasses of champagne from the passing waiters every chance he gets until his lips ache from the effort of holding the plastic grin for the entire evening, over the course of which he’s met more people than he can even name.

“Kaname?”

God, Zero has never been more thankful to hear Aidou’s voice, muttering a silent prayer of thanks as the blonde approaches them in a dark suit and with an ever-present swagger to his step.

“How nice to-“ His gaze flickers over to Zero, as though just now noticing him. “-see you here!”

The hunter snorts under his breath. “Yeah, I’ll bet.”

“Pardon?”

“Nothing,” He replies with innocence coloring his voice. Across the room he catches sight of Ruka and eagerly takes the chance to silently escape just as Aidou draws Kaname into a lengthy conversation about his latest “discovery”.

The woman is nursing a glass of alcohol in her hand, with her strawberry blonde locks pulled into a graceful bun, a light pink dress falling shy of her knees and perfectly placed white crystals in the fabric catch the light and glittering. She leans back against a pillar bracketing the rows of table lined with food—everything from delicately decorated cakes smaller than Zero’s whole hand to hot, juicy pieces of meat with crispy caramel-colored skin line the tables, along with several types of fruits. Pickled prunes, candied figs, stuffed rabbit, smoked turkey and slices of freshly made cranberry pie—all of it makes the hunter’s stomach grumble in want. But he’s not here for food right now.

Ruka’s eyes widen when she catches sight of Zero approaching her. 

“Zero?” Her lips purse together, and she whacks him solidly on the arm.

“Ow, what was that for?”

“Aren’t you meant to be recovering? And before you ask - yes, I heard what happened.” She folds her arms as she waits for a response, foot tapping against the tile.

“Relax, doc cleared me. I’m fine.”

Ruka eyes him dubiously before she seems to accept his response and relaxes. “You really do have a penchant for attracting trouble,” She comments with a shake of her head.

“I wasn’t exactly looking for it.”

Ruka tuts. “Well, at least you’re okay. How are you? So much has happened lately that I’m finding it hard to keep up.” It seems like so long ago that they were just children worrying over exams instead of assassination attempts and courtly intrigue. _How quickly all that has changed,_ she muses with growing sorrow.

“Well enough, I suppose. What’s with you, though? I thought you hated human food.” Near so far as he was aware, the woman despised anything remotely human and usually couldn’t even stomach the smell of the stuff. So why is she lingering near the food table of all places? That doesn’t sound like Ruka at all.

“I still do. However, I find myself in need of some liquor right about now and I’d sooner slit my own throat than have to deal with these selfish, narcissists. I can deal with having to suffer the odor of human food if it means avoiding these bottom feeders.”

The noble eyes the marked skin on the side of her friend’s neck where dark ink crawls over his pale skin in the same pattern it always has since she’s known the man. Only now that she looks closer, she swears she can barely make out a faint lightening of the black ink there, tiny hairline fractures beginning to splinter along the edges of the seal, so small they are barely noticeable at all and nearly impossible to see with the naked eye. _Now when did that appear?_ She wonders if Zero knows but decides against pointing it out; ultimately, it’s only a reminder of his time that dwindles with each passing day, after all. Better not to press that matter.

“I hear that. Alcohol would be a welcome distraction at this point. God, it’s been one shitstorm after another.”

She gives him a pained smile. 

“And how are- how are things between you and Kaname?” Ruka asks after a hesitant pause, glancing at Zero’s face as if to gauge his reaction.

Zero bites down on the inside of his cheek. “I don’t know. I just- there are days when it’s like I don’t know him at all, it’s like he’s a stranger, with the constant secrets and lies.”

“Have you tried talking to him?”

“Yeah. We all know how talking with _Kaname_ goes though.”

She hums. “True. But if it’s any consolation, I don’t think it’s anything you did. The love of a pureblood is an extraordinarily complex thing that is intense and all-consuming; such a thing can be overwhelming to others. Perhaps Kaname is only trying to protect you from that.”

“Then why won’t he just _tell_ me?” Exasperation laces Zero’s tone. “I feel like there might be more to it than just that.”

“There might be,” Ruka allows. “I suppose with purebloods one never really knows, do we?”

“Understatement of the year, Ruk. Understatement of the fucking year.”


	26. Chapter 26: I can't help but love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Goodness, would you look at the time! It’s Soft Gays™ and Soft Lesbians™ Hour! (◡‿◡✿)

“What’s all this talk of purebloods?”

Zero cracks a meager smile at the sound of his sister’s voice, the woman sauntering up to them wearing a long silken red gown in tones that match her brother’s. Beside her Yori is wearing a golden-yellow gown that manages to compliment the other woman perfectly; they look so in sync together, passion and love emanating from both women. It’s difficult not to feel at least a tickle of resentment upon seeing what they have together.

“Nothing, nothing,” Zero assures her. “Just boring shit.”

“That’s all these parties are in a nutshell, isn’t it? They’re just politics and a bunch of people too busy trying to one-up each other to realize there’s already someone plotting against them behind their backs. It’s all one endless, dull cycle, honestly, and it makes eternity look dreadfully dull,” Yuuki says with a grimace of her lips, unusually serious for once before her easy-going smile is back like it had never disappeared in the first place. “But if you two have been gossiping without me, I’ll be extremely offended, I’ll have you know. If there’s some juicy rumor floating around, I want _in_ on those details.”

“Well, you aren’t wrong with the dull part. And hey—what makes you think I’d tell you even if I did hear gossip? You’re shit at keeping secrets.”

Yuuki gasps and lifts a hand to her chest. “I am not!”

Yori glances away. “Er, well…”

Yuuki’s wide, offended glare swings over to her wife. “Yori! How could you betray me like this?”

“You _do_ have a habit of talking a lot, dear.”

The pureblood pouts and folds her arms, an angry frown appearing between her brows until Yori tilts her head, pressing a kiss to her wife’s lips.

“Don’t pout, you know I love you.” Yori assures her, brushing a hand through brown locks with adoration.

“ _Do I?”_ Yuuki leans in closer, wrapping an arm around her wife’s waist. “I might need another reminder, just to be sure.

Zero glances away from his sister and her wife at the overly sweet display of affection, eyes flickering over to Ruka, noticing the woman hasn’t spoken at all since Yuuki showed up, only to see her gone silent, her attention fixated on something across the room. Or more accurately, some _one_ —which just so happens to be Kain Akatsuki. _Of course_. God, it has been years of those two pining after each other; all the covert glances and blushes—it’s actually becoming to be sad.

“Sorry,” She says, realizing she’s been caught staring, even as her eyes flit back to the man. “Do you mind if I-“

“Go ahead.”

With a thankful smile to both siblings the woman hurries across the floor and out of sight, leaving Zero alone with his sister and her wife, Yori sighing softly beneath her breath while Yuuki makes no bid to suppress her knowing smirk. 

“Ah, glad to see some things never change it seems,” Yori murmurs with a fond shake of her head. “Honestly, those two are still so clueless about each other after all these years, it’s surprising and rather depressing, truthfully. I wonder if they’ll ever realize they’ve both been foolishly pining after each other?”

Yuuki snickers and side-eyes Zero. “Hmm, years of pining, huh? Neither of them realizing it? Gee, I can’t think of anyone _else_ who fits that description.”

Zero cuts her a scowl. “Shut up.” He does not _pine_ , okay?

“Okay, okay, I’ll back off. Seriously though, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you willingly attend one of these little _soirees_ before, Zero. Are you feeling alright? Are you being blackmailed? Is someone forcing you into this?”

He rolls his eyes. “Yes, no and _no._ I’m fine, okay? It’s not a crime for me to attend a fancy fucking party.”

“It might as well be. What made you change your mind?”

_Spite._ “I don’t know,” He lies, like they aren’t all aware that the quickest means to get Zero Kiryuu to do anything is to tell him he isn’t allowed to.

“I suppose a certain _someone_ played a part in convincing you?”

He rolls his eyes at Yuuki yet again, ignoring her suggestive raise of her brows and refusing to rise to the bait. “Shut up.”

“Alright, alright. I’ve had my fun.” She yields. “Seriously though, what have you been up to? It seems like I never see you anymore unless a murder or some other crime is involved.”

“Blame the piles of paperwork on my desk for that. Everyday it’s ‘initial here’ or ‘sign here’ - I swear my hands are developing carpal tunnel as we speak.”

She makes a face, scrunching up her nose. “Sounds boring, I hate paperwork.”

Beside her, Yori sighs. “Yuuki, you hate _all_ work.”

“Yes, but paperwork the most.” 

“It’s so much worse than you’d think, even. God, it’s like these idiots have nothing better to do than make _my_ life difficult,” He groans. 

“If it helps, between this little one and Ai, I hardly get any sleep these days,” Yuuki says in consolation. “I wouldn’t change either for the world, but sometimes I hate adulting.”

“Couldn’t you ask Yagari to help you, if the workload is truly that terrible?” Yori asks with a frown.

“Nah, it wouldn’t be right to dump this on him, he’s dealing with so much right now already with Cross and all that. I can’t add to his plate.”

“But don’t overwork yourself either, Zero. Too much stress is bad for anyone.”

“I’ll try not to, but that’s easier said than done.”

“Yes, I suppose it is.”

“Oh!” Yuuki pipes up excitedly. “You should get a dog, Zero! I’ve heard they’re really good for lowering their owner’s stress!”

“A… dog?” Zero’s mind stutters to a halt. Him get a dog? For starters, he’s not even sure how Ren would react to that or if they even _like_ dogs. Then there’s the issue of Kaname, whom he can guess probably loathes all animals and the hair they leave everywhere. 

“Mhm, a dog! You know, four-legged animals, furry-“

“I know what a dog is. I just don’t think it would exactly work well with my-“ He pauses. “lifestyle.”

“Well how can you know if you never tried or did any research into it?”

“I-“ He fumbles trying to come up with a response.

“Just consider it,” Yuuki says with a shrug. “It might do you some good.”

“I’ll think about it, but no promises.”

Zero continues to catch up with his sister and sister-in-law in the dark corner they’ve retired to, mostly out of view from the rest of the room, obscured by a pillar so thankfully relatively few people bother them and Zero is able to put his argument with Kaname out of his mind as he talks with both women, before something catches his eye.

“No alcohol?” Zero asks, raising a brow at the beverage in Yuuki’s hand.

The pureblood straightens and chuckles. “Ah, no I’m afraid not.”

“Any reason why?”

A soft blush stains her cheeks as she ducks her head. “Er, well I didn’t want to let the cat out of the bag quite yet but, I suppose there’s no point in lying to you. I’m pregnant.”

“You’re… what?”

“I’m pregnant, again.”

Disbelief widens Zero’s eyes, although now that he looks closer, she is looking a bit brighter than before, her form is a bit softer. Though there isn’t much to show yet, he wonders how he hasn’t noticed sooner. 

“How far along are you?”

“About 10 weeks now.”

“Congratulations,” Zero finally manages.

“Thanks. But we aren’t ready to tell everyone just yet, so er- keep this between us, okay?”

He nods numbly and freezes when Yuuki winces, instantly reaching for her as Yori does.

“No, no I’m fine!” She insists, waving both of them off. “My stomach is just a bit-“ She grimaces as another bout of pain wracks her.

“My stomach is a bit upset is all.”

“Perhaps we should go home?” Yori suggests and Zero is inclined to agree. 

“No need,” Yuuki assures. “I’m f- agh!”

“It isn’t good to push yourself in this state.” The human woman chides. “It isn’t good for the baby.”

“I know, I know.” She hisses and doubles over as another onslaught of pain hit. “Okay. Yeah, maybe we should go home. I’m really sorry, Zero.”

“Don’t be.”

Yori flashes Zero a smile and both women tentatively give him their farewells before leaving, Yuuki doing her best to hide the pain she’s in as she walks.

Left to his own devices, Zero tries his best to keep to his own, steering far clear of all the hunters strategically located around the perimeter of the room and is fortunate enough that most vampires are either wise enough to avoid him or simply deem him unworthy of conversation. He mostly keeps to the outside of the crowd, skillfully vanishing anytime he spots another glimpse of Kaname, more determined than ever to avoid the man tonight, not wanting to ruin it all with a quarrel between them. 

It isn’t easy to watch the pureblood at ease among all these people and Zero is astonished at the envy that stabs sharply at him as he’s made to endure watching the vampires eagerly embrace and accept him while Zero is shunned by both hunters and vampires alike. Blood of both running through his veins, yet Zero is kin to neither while Kaname is accepted among them like family and Zero’s own family is nothing but scattered ashes and stolen life running through his veins.

A shudder runs through him and he disguises his sudden revulsion behind the rim of a champagne glass, snagging the drink from a passing waiter. The skin on the back of his neck prickles as he turns, just seconds before a strong grip wraps around his wrist and he whirls on his heel, bracing to punch the _fucker_ who-

“Hey stranger.”

Zero jerks to a stop before Dahlia, his fight-or-flight instinct calming down upon realizing it’s _just_ Dahlia and not some secret assassin or some such (it wouldn’t be the first time, after all). The witch’s shimmery golden lips curl into a Cheshire-like grin at the reaction and she makes a point of releasing her grip on the hunter, stepping back with hands raised.

She’s dressed in a remarkably tame (for Dahlia’s tastes, that is) black suit that’s complemented by golden jewelry and makeup - there are even specks of golden glitter sparkling in the afro of springy curls around her head. Yet strangely, Ava is nowhere in sight. 

“Easy there, tiger. Bit high-strung, are we?”

“You scared the shit out of me,” Zero grouses. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

“Try not to sound so disappointed,” Dahlia quirks a brow. “But I didn’t expect to be here either, really, if I didn’t feel so terrible about leaving my partner in crime to his own devices.”

“You came here for me?”

“That and the free food.”

Zero snorts and shakes his head, undeniably pleased that she cares enough to go out of her way just to be here for him of all people. He can count on one hand the number of people Dahlia would do something like this for. “Thanks, Dahl. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime, anytime,” Her grin dims somewhat at the tone of his voice though and she folds her arms. “Something on your mind, love?”

“Just relationship issues.”

“Ah,” She hums. “Don’t fret, love. It happens to everyone.”

“It would be nice if ‘everyone’ knew how to solve them.” His bitterness leaks into his voice.

Dahlia chuckles. “ Ah, I’m afraid it doesn’t work like that, love. There’s no _one-size-fits-all_ solution to love problems. But… if you love someone enough things will work out eventually, with enough time and communication.”

Zero frowns down at the champagne glass in his hands. _Time_. He’s given Kaname more than enough of that and communication? He’d have better luck talking with a tree. But before he can tell any of that to the witch beside him of course, the room goes quiet and still as everyone drifts to the edge of the room, clearing the center of the floor.

“What’s happening?” Dahlia whispers in obvious confusion, bracing herself as though readying for an attack. Not that she can help it—after all, she is used to undercover missions and plying information from people, not attending fancy parties and whatnot.

“It’s the first dance of the evening. Traditionally, the King or Queen always chooses their partner and initiates the first dance.” Zero explains under his breath. It’s one of the more important aspects of vampire society and being chosen is a great honor, so he isn’t surprised to see men and women alike holding still with bated breath and a hopeful gleam in their eyes.

Nor is he surprised to see Sara Shirabuki standing a few feet away from him, with a smug smile already in place upon her features. He forces his gaze away and wills his fists to unclench, despite the childishness of the whole situation. Really, are they back in high school now? Fighting over pretty crushes? Despite his wish to scoff and laugh her antics though, he can’t help the way she gets under his skin and he loathes that knowledge.

He can’t even peer upwards to see Kaname stepping forward onto the floor, knowing there’s no way the pureblood will choose him, certainly not after the fight they’d had. God, why hadn’t he thought of this? Already humiliation burns hot on his cheeks, alongside the sting of jealousy in his chest knowing he’ll have to watch his mate choose someone else, holding them in his arms and dancing with them and endure the self-satisfied glances of other vampires upon watching him lose what he should never have had to begin with and pity from his friends. 

Dahlia clears her throat softly beside him and gently nudges the hunter in his side with an elbow, causing Zero to glance upward in alarm. As he does so, Zero freezes like a deer in headlights, lips parting on a gasp.

Kaname stands before him, with his hand held out and a patient smile painted upon his handsome face, crimson eyes fixed expectantly on Zero. _Oh. Oh no._

“What are you doing?” Zero hisses, eyes flickering to the crowd and the confusion rippling through the horde of people while his heart leaps in his chest, skipping several beats. “Kaname, I _swear_ if this is some kind of joke-“

“Does it seem like a joke?”

It doesn’t look like a joke in the slightest, nor is Kaname the type to pull a cruel jest like that for that matter, but Zero can’t help his suspicion.

“Trust me.”

Kaname’s voice is barely more than a murmur, only loud enough for Zero to hear and even Dahlia steps back, allowing the hunter to make a choice and showing no signs of her opinion on the matter one way or another.

Zero closes his eyes for a moment, pulling in a shaky breath and forcing it out before reaching out, against his better judgement and gently placing his hand in Kaname’s. His skin prickles with the knowledge that every pair of eyes in the room is on them as he allows Kaname to lead him onto the center of the dancefloor.

“What the hell are you doing?” Zero hisses again as a new wave of apprehension sinks in his gut.

“Dancing.”

His amethyst eyes sharpen to a glare. “Did it somehow escape your notice that I don’t have any fucking idea how to dance?”

“Just follow my lead,” Kaname murmurs, taking the position of lead and settling one hand beneath the hunter’s shoulder blade and grasping Zero’s other hand in his own.

Fortunately, Zero has been sent to babysit at enough of these parties to at least have some idea of what the opening dance is supposed to look like; it’s mostly just a modified waltz with a few odd moves thrown in with the mix because if there’s one thing he’s learned it’s that vampires always, _always_ have to do things differently. Which wouldn’t be troublesome to master if he wasn’t born with two left feet. Really, why can’t Kaname chose someone else? Although the hunter has to admit that there’s a satisfying warmth spreading through his chest knowing _he_ is the one dancing with Kaname right now.

“Because I didn’t want anyone else,” A voice husks into his ear and making Zero jump as he realizes he said all of that aloud. He and Kaname break apart to face opposite of each other and step to the side, Zero’s right palm presses against the pureblood’s left as both men dip forward into a slight lunge before stepping back and repeating with the other side.

The hunter steps backwards and spins away as the music swells behind him, playing ever so eloquently his part of a jilted lover in time with the song before a hand seizes his wrist, wrenching him back around into Kaname’s arms. It’s part of the dance, of course, but a slight gasp escapes Zero’s lips all the same.

Sweat beads along Zero’s pale skin and with the eyes of everyone upon them his feet falter and shake beneath him, leading to more than a few missteps and the occasional stomp on Kaname’s poor feet. It’s not helping that he can hear their giggles and muttered remarks.

“Keep your eyes on me,” Kaname instructs into the air between them in a whisper. 

Zero’s breath catches in his throat as he meets Kaname’s scarlet gaze after a moment’s hesitation, unable to look away, enraptured by that burning crimson. Kaname’s throat tightens as he watches the light above them highlight the tiny specks of blue in Zero’s eyes, giving amethyst eyes the appearance of an infinite galaxy. There’s not but a paltry few inches between them now, their breaths intermingling in the air as they twirl across the floor together, neither one breaking their gaze, not even as the snickers in the crowd grow louder as Zero misses a step yet again. Slowly but surely all the sounds and stares of the room around them melt away until all that Zero can concentrate on is Kaname.

Kaname allows himself to smile as he twirls Zero once more before bringing him back into his arms, pressing his hand to the taut muscle beneath the fabric of his suit. Lost in that purple stare his mouth suddenly seems much too dry, his sharp tongue a heavy weight. 

Not for the first time Kaname can’t help the thought as he dips his silver-haired mate, that all his admirers are all very much misdirected in directing their attentions towards him, when there is none more striking than the man in his arms.

Everything around Zero melts away as he dances with Kaname, overly conscious of the pureblood’s cold palm against his own, so much so that he can no longer feel a thousand pairs of eyes or the distant snickers and whispers. No, nothing else exists but he and Kaname in that moment and the music driving their movements - Zero never even notices when he stops worrying.

When finally, the music begins to swell to a crescendo Kaname pauses in his movements, yanking Zero close to him and swinging the hunter low in his arms, dipping him just enough to make sure everyone in the crowd can see before he leans forward and presses his lips to the hunter’s as the song finishes around them.

Zero sucks in a breath as Kaname kisses him, a flare of heat rushing through his body, setting him aflame from within and he opens his mouth with a small whimper to taste wine on the brunette’s tongue as his heart pounds like drums in his chest. Overcome with an incessant _need_ to touch Kaname, one of his hands came up to take hold of brown strands as he enthusiastically explores his mate’s mouth, tugging at Kaname’s lip and teasing the brunette’s tongue with his own—a bold display of public affection that would have horrified Zero once, before he became too old to be bothered about such things.

Another song starts to play and vampires around them trickle out onto the floor, gently averting their eyes or openly gawking at the display before them. And though Zero knows that presumably more than a few council members are glaring daggers at him, when he pulls back to stare at his disheveled mate with a flush crawling up his cheeks and sees Kaname just as breathless as himself and adoration shining in his eyes, Zero decides he genuinely doesn’t give a shit anymore.

Zero’s head is spinning as he breaks the kiss with Kaname and he inches closer to the man without even thinking about what he’s doing. His pulse is pounding, racing in his body and his tongue darts out to wet his lips, tiny electric tingles dancing across his skin at the memory of the kiss he shared with Kaname. That kiss was-

It seems like the Kaname he knows, the one he’s in love with and for once the hunter wonders if things between them are really as unsalvageable as he thinks. He clutches tightly to the pureblood’s hand so as not to get lost in the horde of dancers as Kaname leads him from the dancefloor towards who-knows-where. As they leave, everyone else takes up their partners, throwing him and Kaname passing glances as they do so. However, his contentment quickly fades as they’re approached by a pale serving girl who looks like she’s seen a damn ghost, wrenching her hands together in front of her.

“P-pardon the interruption, my lords, but there’s been an um- an incident in the garden.”

The hunter’s brow furrows as he exchanges a glance with his mate. “What is it? What’s happened?”

“It’s—well, it’s probably best if you just see for yourselves.”

 


	27. Chapter 27: Unhinged

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> See end notes of the chapter for warnings if you don't mind slight spoilers!
> 
> Otherwise, read on to find out what our boys stumble upon in the gardens...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I actually finished editing this one a few days ago and I just forgot to post it, cause I got distracted playing Code Vein lol (really fun game, btw, 10/10, would recommend)
> 
>  
> 
> I've been looking forward to posting this particular chapter for a while though and I think you guys will see why. Just don't kill me for it, please <3

The concentrated, acrid stench of death invades Zero’s nose as he and Kaname enter the clearing, emerging from the towering hedge maze into a clearing with benches of stone surrounding a massive, gurgling fountain, at the base of which sits a mutilated, wide-eyed form of a now-former hunter.

The body is leaning against the fountain, sitting on the ground with an arm leaning on the fountain’s lip, fingers kissing the water and making Zero’s lip curl upwards at the overpowering reek of blood, shit and piss emanating from the corpse and he lifts a handkerchief to cover his mouth and nose before approaching. The body clearly belongs to a man, one who is dressed in a suit that’s now been split open in the middle to reveal a large gaping hole in his abdomen, from which his innards spill out onto the ground below and his ribs have been split open to reveal his insides.

_Not a slow death, then_ Zero notes as he steps closer, nearly gagging on the horrid stench coming from the corpse but still, he reaches out a hand and closes the wide unseeing eyes. _Rest easy, brother of mine for you have fought well._ _Requiescat in pace._

Zero’s stomach churns with unease when he examines the wounds. 

“These are knife wounds.” They’re clean and precise lines, not at all the kind an animal or some kind of accident would leave behind. Someone knew what they were doing when they did this.

Kaname approaches the hunter with hushed footsteps. “You’re sure?”

“Positive.” Then Zero pauses, brushing a hand over the stiffening flesh once more. “Wait- there’s something else here too. There’s… _magic._ ” It’s stifled, like an after-taste lingering on the back of his tongue but it’s unmistakably _there_ , buried underneath the lingering dread and anguish that the man had felt when he died.

The hunter turns his attention back to witness Kaname coming to the same grim conclusion as himself; it’s plausible but unlikely that any vampire had caused these wounds. No, this stinks of a hunter.

“We can’t tell anyone about this,” Kaname says and Zero can’t help but agree. God, the hysteria this would cause if word got out that one of the hunters had slaughtered one of their _own_ makes his head sore just thinking about it.

A high-pitched tinkling sound fills Zero’s ears, familiar laughter breaking the silence around them and sending an abhorrent shiver down the hunter’s spine as apprehension abruptly races through him and roots him to the spot.

Kaname lowers his head slightly, squinting as he studies the shadows around them and his mouth twists like he just tasted something sour.

Neither of them are truly shocked when the dark silhouette of Sara Shirabuki waltzes out from a different exit from the maze on the opposite side of the fountain, her heels clicking lowly on the stones beneath her and her lips stretched into a deceptively tranquil smile.

“Your doing?” The brunette asks.

“Flattering, but no.”

Zero’s eyes flit between both purebloods, his hand straying to his hip where his gun rests concealed. Call him crazy, but he doesn’t fancy the notion of being unarmed around Shirabuki. Something twists in his gut and he doesn’t like it one bit.

Another form moves out from the shadows, pasty hands reaching to lower a dark hood and straw-colored hair spilling forth as Sara brings a finger up to trace along a cheek beneath the dark rims of glasses. 

“No, I’m afraid this was all the doing of my little pet.”

The color drains from Zero’s face in recognition. He’s only met Dahlia’s apprentice once or twice, but she always seemed like a nice girl whenever he talked to her… there- there’s no way she would do something like this. It doesn’t make a lick of sense that she’d sell out her own kind to Shirabuki of all people. No, he refuses to believe it. 

“What have you done to her, you psychotic bitch?”

“Nothing much, only a pretty little lie here and there and she came crawling to me _all on her own.”_ Sara answers, cupping the girl’s cheek and nuzzling her hair.

Kaname only barely manages to refrain from retching at the image, his face tight. As Sara finishes speaking, the girl lifts her hands and magic prickles along Kaname’s skin. Before he can even react invisible chains take hold of his limbs, binding him in place with a strength that’s uncharacteristic of such an amateur witch.

_How-_

Sara giggles as she watches the hunter reach for his gun again. _Not so fast, little hunter._

Zero makes the mistake of catching the blonde’s eyes and promptly regrets it when he finds himself unable to break the connection, as a sluggish and distant melody drifts into his ears. It’s… intoxicating, but he’s not quite sure why and there’s something about the peculiar music that he finds himself needing, _craving_ and without really knowing why, some part of the hunter registers that he has to find the source of it. He has to follow it.

A choked groan escapes Zero as he grits his teeth and struggles against the hold Sara has on him, willing his feet desperately to pause in their steps. Yet no matter what he does he can’t stop himself just as he couldn’t the last time this happened, a trickle of blood escaping his nose as he fights against her influence in his head.

Kaname hisses and snarls as he grapples with the chains binding him and burning through his clothes into his skin, all to no avail. These chains, whatever spell they’re conjured from are very clearly meant to hold more than a mere pureblood as even _he_ can’t seem to break them. Rather, they seem designed to restrain something far more ancient and more powerful, which must mean-

Sara knows more about him than just who he is—she knows _what_ he is as well. _Now who told you that information, I wonder?_

He meets Sara’s self-satisfied smile with a glare that promises a tortuous death _._ He underestimated her evidently. But that’s a mistake that he won’t make twice.

Still, no matter how much he fights and struggles, Kaname can do nothing else but watch his mate succumb to Sara’s siren song. No, fight it Zero. But he watches forlornly as bright purple eyes begin to grow hazy, the hunter stumbling in the direction of the blonde as though in a dream and Kaname’s struggles renew as fury courses through his veins.

“That’s it, come to me,” Sara coos, wrapping a hand around the silver-haired hunter’s wrist and dragging him in close as he nears her, an unmistakable glint of victory in her eyes as she winds her arms around Zero and looks to Kaname.

“Let him go.” 

“Why? You’re hardly in a position to do anything,” Sara retorts. “Such a pathetic, level D. I do wonder what you saw in him, but up close I can see he is rather pretty I suppose.”

A trill of delight warms Sara as the brunette gnashes his fangs together at that, his crimson eyes positively livid right now and she enjoys every single second of it, knowing how it must kill him to see another pureblood laying hands on his mate.

Kaname is beautiful in his rage, she cannot help but notice, with his crimson eyes blazing, and his fangs on full display in the snarl that paints his face. 

“We truly could have been something together, you and I. We could have brought those petty humans to heel, ruling over them like we were meant to.”

“You mean _you_ would have ruled.” 

Sara is not immune to the vanity of purebloods, much as she wishes to be and Kaname knows as long as he can keep her talking she won’t harm Zero.

Sara hums, not entirely disagreeing with the idea. “You would have been a nice bonus though.”

At that he _does_ shudder in revulsion. “Purebloods were never meant to rule over humans, you arrogant child. We were meant to walk alongside them, never above them.”

Her lip curls in disgust. “Why, you’ve gone soft. And all this over a _level D_? Really, I might have been able to accept defeat had it been that sister of yours but losing my place by your side to a level D is an offense that I can’t tolerate.”

Kaname’s patience is rapidly failing him; he desires nothing more than to tear this arrogant pureblood to shreds until she’s nothing more than a pile of crystals on the ground. As though touching his mate weren’t enough, now she speaks of ruling over humans. _The sheer arrogance!_

Only before he can speak, dozens upon dozens of ear-splitting shrieks shatter the surrounding air; deafening, fearful shrieks coming from the ballroom and chased closely by the rich aroma of fresh blood—what smells like _rivers_ of it. Far too many scents mingle for him to tell them apart, but amidst the screams he can hear the guttural howl of vampires - not just any vampires either, but level Es.

“What have you done?” He doesn’t want to give her the gratification of knowing how much she’s affecting him but there’s no keeping the horror from his voice.

Sara’s smile turns secretive at this as she holds a finger to her lips and gives him a wink. “It is supposed to be a party, no? I simply turned it into a party as you wished. Your council members are probably dying as we speak.”

The brunette doesn’t even flinch at those words. To be honest, he isn’t too saddened by the loss of his council as he’d been strongly considering eliminating most of them himself - Shirabuki merely saved him the trouble.

But his friends; Aidou, Ruka (and those are only to name a few) are in there, hell, his _sister_ could still be in there. Though the air is ripe with blood, he can detect hunter blood among the vampiric and it drives a sharp spike of worry through him even as it muddles his senses do much it’s getting difficult to even think straight.

Kaname shakes his head with a growl in his throat. Much as it torments him, he can’t concern himself with such thoughts right now, now his main priority must be Zero. Always Zero.

“I was born for power,” Sara says, her tone nonchalant, almost as though she were commenting on the weather. “I must say, I am curious about your little toy. Forgive me but I simply must have a little taste.”

With a sharp grin, the blonde tilts Zero’s head to the side and clamps her razor-sharp fangs into the flesh of his neck. 

Briefly, consciousness returns to Zero, as white-hot agony courses through his body and stems from his neck. He’s not sure how, but some part of him is vaguely aware of Sara Shirabuki’s fangs buried in his flesh. Her bite is nothing like Kaname’s - where Kaname’s is pleasant and considerate hers is cruel and violent and not at all graceful. Zero’s gaze falters for a second and suddenly he’s somewhere else, Sara’s blonde hair white instead and the woman wearing a kimono instead of a dress.

It’s over in a second of course and he can see nothing but the woman’s usual golden locks and gown instead, but it’s enough to have Zero breaking out into a cold sweat.

“K-Ka-“ Zero attempts to call for his mate before once more darkness drags him down.

Kaname’s chest stings as Sara drinks from his mate, drop after drop and he’s powerless to even move a finger against her. The agony is blinding him as Sara drains Zero, and deep down in Kaname’s chest something he long thought dead begins to fracture and snap beneath the anguish—anguish that only intensifies as he realizes Zero must be suffering far worse than him. And Kaname can’t do a damn thing to help him. 

After what feels like an eternity Sara retracts her fangs, the holes in Zero’s neck only barely bleeding anymore and his flesh growing paler with each passing second. The woman smiles at Kaname, relishing in his agony as he is forced to watch the life leaving his mate’s eyes, after all, the man has lost so much blood now it won’t be much longer.

She licks her lips dry and pouts down at the hunter.

“Eh, I’ve had better.”

And with that, Sara takes Zero’s wrist once more and uses her grip to fling the hunter across the courtyard where he lands in a pile amongst shrubbery and stone, crumpling amidst the wreckage like a broken doll.

Dahlia tugs her lips into another counterfeit smile at the vampire who glides past the corner of the room that she’s claimed as her own. 

It drops away from her lips as he recedes into the swamp of people and she lifts the flute of champagne in her hands to her mouth. A bit mild for her tastes, but she’ll need all the alcohol she can get to muster through this farce of an evening, too fatigued to even keep up her facade of engrossment anymore. She’s here as a hunter and she isn’t bothering to hide that any longer.

Most of this is largely posturing, anyway; a chance for the nobles to try to weasel their way into Kaname’s good graces or pants—in some cases those bold enough trying _both._ When it doesn’t work, they’ll skulk away before sidling up alongside a council member or some other, equally important, member of vampire society. Zero probably finds it all incredibly mundane and Dahlia smothers a chortle at the thought.

But in reality, it’s anything but trite, if one asks the witch herself, who thinks it’s all rather incredibly intriguing, watching the smaller, less noticeable mechanics at play before her eyes. A noble man seen sneaking off with a level D serving girl, eagerly pulling her into an embrace in darkened hallways and away from the prying eyes of his wife. Nearby her hiding spot a red-clad pureblood has taken a shine to a hunter who is pretending to listen with wide, keen eyes and follow the vampire’s story while his hand is preoccupied lifting a small piece of paper from the pureblood’s pocket - no one the wiser. She’s seen another serving girl making her way around the room, having introduced herself with at least five different names so far.

Yes, it’s all very amusing if one asks Dahlia.

Having downed her glass of champagne, the witch plucks herself off a pillar with a vexed huff before she begins to zigzag her way across the room, towards the table at the far end that’s filled with all matters of fanciful and unpronounceable food, affording a glance to scan for Zero somewhere in the crowd. Yet mystifyingly enough, it seems both him and that pureblood mate of his have decided to escape from the Gala, neither anywhere to be seen. 

She pauses for a moment to consider chasing down her friend before promptly dismissing that idea. _Ah, Zero is a grown man, I’m sure he can manage just fine on his own._

There’s a plethora of vampires hovering around the table when Dahlia approaches, one man in particular drawing her attention with his bizarre behavior. Though no one around him seems to be paying him much mind, the man sways where he stands, clutching his head and staggering over his own two feet in a manner most peculiar. 

“Excuse me, sir?” Dahlia questions, cautiously taking a step forward in his direction with a frown. _Alright, you drunkard, let’s get you out of here before you make a scen-_

But before Dahlia can even get close to the man, her stomach falls out from beneath her as the man grunts roughly under his breath and shambles close to a nearby arguing couple. He reaches for the woman, quick as a flash of lightning before leaning forward and burying his fangs where her neck meets her shoulder. 

The sharp sound of ripping flesh jolts the witch to her very core as the man’s fangs tear viciously into the woman’s throat, shredding through muscle and flesh with ease before he pulls back, flabby bits of skin and muscle dripping with blood swinging from his lips as the woman collapses to the floor, throat a mutilated mass of red flesh and blood at this point.

Dahlia acts swiftly as the man’s attention turns on her, bringing her foot up into his abdomen with a sharp kick and pushing him down to the floor. She brings her other foot down sharply onto his throat as he hisses and snarls at her before going silent as blood stains her shoe.

She lets out a string of curses under her breath as she leaps back from the crazed man whose body is turning to ashes now and her face blanches as she takes in the rest of the room with wide eyes.

“What the bloody, buggering _fuck?”_

It’s as though something has snapped in every single vampire, as suddenly they’re all attacking each other out of nowhere before the witch’s very eyes; diving towards each other in a blur of fangs and claws, eyes dark with nothing but pure bloodlust and faces absent of a single trace of emotion or recognition.

Dahlia’s unable to even lift a finger, too frozen in her bewilderment just as all the other hunters seem to be. 

Fortunately, the hunters recover quickly and rush to attempt to break up the fray, Dahlia making a wry face as she comes back to reality. It’s useless to try and get between these vampires now though, not when the hunters are as greatly outnumbered as they are and not to mention all the purebloods mixed in with all the other mindless, crazed vampires. It’ll be enough to eviscerate the hunters in _seconds._

“Stop! Stop you bloody, idiots, you’ll only make it worse!” She yells in a despondent attempt to save some of her comrades, but her words go unheard above all the noise and soon hunters are being torn apart and tossed to the side same as the vampires. It’s a bloodbath if she’s ever seen one.

“Fuck. _Fuck!_ ” She mutters with increasing frustration, yanking at strands of her hair as she gags on the heavy stench of blood and death; bodies and limbs falling to the blood covered floor like candy from a pinata. 

The witch mutters a locating spell as she tries to fight off the hungry bloodsuckers lurching for her amidst the chaos, hoping it will do some good. She can’t locate Zero or Kaname without any items from them, unfortunately, but _Bloody Rose_ is a far different matter. Gods, she’s never been more thankful that Zero never goes anywhere without that damn gun.

“Come on, come on, come on, come _on.”_

A faintly glowing trail of mist flickers into being in the air before the witch, leading out the glass doors and into the gardens. Dahlia curses her luck and bites down on her tongue as she sends another vampire careening through the air into one of the marble pillars before doubling over from the effort. Already her energy is waning quickly just from having to protect her own throat from being ripped out and now she’s meant to make it out to the _gardens?_

“Ah!” Dahlia groans, biting into her lip and tasting copper as a pair of claws digs deeply into the skin of her thigh. She kicks the vampire off of her and leans against the wall, gasping for breath and gritting her teeth before eyeing the set of glass doors with determination and striding forward, not allowing herself to look around her at the ashes and crystals decorating the floor alongside blood and strewn limbs.

_Don’t look. Don’t think about it. Just- keep going…_

Dahlia struggles, shoving her way through the mad crowd, snarling at each vampire that dives at her, sending them backwards with a kick or a solid punch as she attempts to conserve what little energy she has left for magic. It works though and most of them shuffle away as they deem her too much trouble to go to for a simple meal, though a few times she catches another claw to her thigh or—in one case, a sharp pair of fangs to her arm that refuse to be shaken off—those she rips sharply from their owner’s mouth.

Ahead of her the glass doors loom tauntingly, so close yet _just_ out of her reach. _Only a few more feet now, come on-_

She makes a mistake by deciding to look back at the carnage as her exit gleams enticingly right before her. The witch stiffens where she stands as a head of strawberry-blond locks catches her eye, followed closely by a short man with eyes the color of a freshly frozen ocean. _Aidou?_

Aidou seems to have been taken over by whatever frenzy is affecting every other vampires, his crimson eyes unseeing and unrecognizing, even as another vampire slinks up behind him.

Dahlia’s breath pauses in her throat. _No, no, don’t-_ “Look-“

It’s too late—the vampire buries a hand in blond locks and yanks Aidou’s head back before savagely ripping into his throat with his claws and teeth like it’s tissue paper, knocking the witch’s breath from her lungs. He lets go of Aidou after a few moments and the vampire’s eyes glass over, lifeless as his body turns to ashes.

Dahlia’s mouth falls open in a soundless scream and her eyes are frozen in their wide, terrified state. She grips the knob of one of the doors to keep from collapsing to the ground when her legs threaten to give out beneath her. She didn’t know Aidou that well admittedly, only for a little over a few months now but seeing him _die_ like that makes her stomach churn and threaten to vomit up the contents of her dinner.

_He didn’t deserve to die, not like this._

Perhaps out of a moment of clarity and desiring vengeance for her friend or out of sheer animal instinct, Ruka proceeds to tackle Aidou’s killer before the witch, slicing into the man with her claws and fangs. Dahlia wonders which one causes the woman to act, but she doesn’t intend to stick around and find out

With shaking hands Dahlia turns and slips out the doors, into the nippy night air with the wails echoing behind her.

The trail leads off into the hedge maze, a faint white mist that may well be leading her to the only ones who can stop the madness happening in the ballroom behind her. Dahlia follows with trepidation hoping and praying to whatever deity may or may not exist that those two haven’t become mad as all the other damn vampires. She briefly attempts to run before stopping dead in her tracks, hissing and cursing as pain shoots through her wounded leg at the action and instead settling for hurriedly limping instead.

_What a picture I must make,_ Dahlia muses, limping in a torn and bloodied suit through a pristine garden and lawn, looking like she’s come from a war zone rather than a gala. As she ambles across the grounds, the witch snatches her phone out of her pocket and hurriedly dials in a familiar number as her bloodied fingertips struggle to press the buttons.

“Hey, kid.” Yagari answers.

“Hey- ugh!” Dahlia responds, words breaking on a groan as fire shoots through the bite in her arm with a stinging throb. 

“Kid?” Yagari questions sharply with no minor amount of alarm in his voice. “Hey—come on now, talk to me. Kid, what’s wrong? You okay?”

“Not exactly. Th-the gala; everything’s gone to shit-t! It’s a bloodbath in there.”

“Hey, hey, _slow_ down. I’m going to need a bit more info than th-“

“Don’t have time for questions. Just send backup, _now_!” The witch hisses as another bout of agony wracks her body, making her stumble over an exposed tree root. Gods, it aches something awful now, but she forces herself to keep going, fixating on the trail left by her spell guiding her through the maze and the sound of remote voices carried by the wind. She has to keep going, there’s no other choice before her.

Dahlia hangs up the call and pockets the device as the hair on her neck prickles, standing up on end as she senses the faint presence of magic and- the choking aura of not one but _two_ purebloods. Her leg is almost completely numb by now and her arm is on _fire,_ yet Dahlia pushes the discomfort out of her mind. 

_Damn she really hopes those two can fix this,_ the witch thinks seconds before a mourn-filled keening cry rings out through the night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: Blood, graphic violence, gore, character death
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> ~
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> Sara Shirabuki: This bitch empty. Y E E T!


	28. Chapter 28: Retribution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fortune favors the bold and there are none quite so bold as those who have nothing left to lose.

Sara is speaking—or at least Kaname assumes she is, when he sees her mouth moving. Yet he can’t hear her or anything over the ringing in his ears. Everything around him seems so distant, like he’s watching all of this happen through another’s eyes.

_Zero is dead_. That’s the one thought that keeps repeating in his head, no matter how much he wishes for it to stop, it insists on nagging and nagging at him, refusing to leave him alone. A part of him is inclined to deny it, adamant in his refusal. No, his mate isn’t dead. He can’t be dead. Not after all Kaname has done for him, all those years _searching_ desperately for-

His body refuses to breathe. _ZeroisdeadZeroisdead._

A sharp, biting cold runs through the pureblood’s body, while at the same time feelings as though a blazing inferno is burning over his skin. How is such a thing possible?

Like a bowstring snapping, the pureblood suddenly finds the magic that crawling across his skin and the invisible chains binding him gone in the blink of an eye. Pippa is there one second beside Sara and hurtling through the air the next, as a dark form bounds after the girl, giving chase He thought he caught another form chasing after the girl, but he cann’t be sure.

Kaname flexes his fingers. _Never look a gift horse in the mouth, after all._

With a fury the likes of which he hasn’t experienced in centuries consuming him, he lunges for Sara. His claws scrape across her abdomen as she tries to dance out of the way, shredding fabric and flesh beneath them.

Sara returns his glower before striking out, aiming for the brunette’s face with her own claws. Kaname catches her wrist and throws the woman half way across the grounds with an enraged howl. 

She hits bushes and hedges before colliding with the wall of the greenhouse, crashing through glass and steel. The woman stands amidst the wreckage with a tangle of blond curls and a set jaw, rolling her shoulders back with a snarl before bracing herself for another blow from the other pureblood.

Over and over again the two purebloods crash against each other. Kaname’s mind filled with nothing else but his desire to kill the woman before him, the one who’d taken his mate from him. _Vengeance._ There is nothing else save his need for vengeance anymore, everything else taken from him in the same second Zero is. 

He meets each blow of the woman’s with one of his own time and time again, showing no signs of his energy waning. The air is thick with the heady smell of blood and sweat around them as animalistic growls and screeches fill the space between them over the dimming screams and wails from the ballroom, combining in a grim symphony.

Sara lashes out at his back only to have the brunette grip her arm and _twist._ A wail escapes her as pain shoots through her arm, making her fangs grind together. But her anger burns hot and bright as ever within her and she rips her arm free from Kaname’s grasp, her limb dislocating from her shoulder as she does so.

With a grimace, Sara smoothly twists the limb back into place before ripping into Kaname’s forearm with her teeth, ripping a chunk of flesh from him.

Branches catch and snag at the delicate fabric of her dress as a solid kick sends her sprawling through the neatly trimmed hedges. Her claws dig into the dirt as she hefts herself up, pure spite urging her on.

So many years spent under careful tutelage, training to be the perfect Queen, the perfect ruler, not one step out of line. Yet her _right_ has been stolen out from beneath her by the very man whose desires she’d been taught to know and place before her own. For a _Level fucking D!_

The blonde screeches and dives for the brunette, sinking her claws into the meat of his shoulder viciously before Kaname grips her fingers and bends them backwards, removing them from his flesh with ease.

_He’s toying with me,_ Sara thinks as Kaname dodges yet another blow of hers. She angrily blows a strand of blonde hair from her face. He must be, for there is no other explanation for how calm and still the man seems to be, even as he fights mercilessly. And yet, when she looks in his eyes she can see nothing but a distant loathing that promised revenge for his mate, not but the pure animalistic need for vengeance swimming in those garnet depths. 

She grinds her teeth together, knowing full-well that all of her followers are too far away for her to summon any of them. _Very well,_ she’ll finish this on her own. The blonde launches herself forward once more.

Frustration rises in Sara’s chest as her blows begin to slow, wounds continuing to leak instead of healing. _Damn it!_ She nicks Kaname across the cheek with her claws, before watching in dismay as his flesh simply knits itself back together again. 

Kaname reaches up to nick a finger on one of his fangs before a whip fashioned from his own blood lashes out at the blonde, slicing cleanly into her thigh before wrapping around her middle, catching her mid-air as she leaps towards the man, dragging her harshly back down to the earth and slamming her into the stone. 

Sara groans as she meets the earth, tasting her own blood that coats her tongue. It shouldn’t be possible for any vampire to have this much energy, it’s _impossible_. Kaname should be as weak as her, yet he shows no signs of stopping. She spits out a mouthful of coppery dirt along with one of her fangs and attempts to stand, bracing her weight on her remaining good arm, struggling and huffing for breath like a mere _human_ as she rises to her knees.

She manages a weak smile as Kaname approaches her. There’s no way she can use her powers anymore in this state. Hell, she can barely even breathe anymore. It’s over, she’s lost.

The brunette reaches down and pulls her up with a yank on her broken arm, Sara hissing at him as she wavers on her feet. But-

_Oh_.

Glee rises in Sara even as Kaname’s hand wraps around her throat. This man has taken everything from her. Now she is going to return that favor.

_He is lost in a haze, drifting in the white space, drowning in the nothingness. That’s all there is, just bleak, empty nothingness as far as he can see in every direction he looks. Not even ground to stand on. No, he is stuck floating in this forgotten space. But it doesn’t feel like he is floating, that’s the strange thing. Actually, the more he thinks about it the more he realizes he doesn’t really know what floating would feel like, given that he’s never done it before._

_It seems like he is suspended in this state, where his limbs and body seem to move in slow-motion around him, as though trapped in a thick fog or wading through water. Even moving his head requires great effort and is so, so tiring._

_For a while he simply is content to lay there, floating in the nothingness. But the longer he lingers the more bored he grows, which leads to frustration. So, he moves, slowly and exhaustingly Zero forces himself to move through the white nothing, finding himself going nowhere of course. Every direction just leads to more nothingness._

_Something is wrong about this place. Zero doesn’t even need the nagging voice in the back of his mind to tell him that. He’s quickly forgetting… everything. It’s wrong. It’s suffocating and drowning him the longer he stays. He hates it. So, he thrashes against its hold by trying something new, pushing himself upwards this time instead. Maybe upwards would lead to a way out of this horrid place._

Zero comes back to himself rather quickly, like breaching the surface of water, taking that first breath after having been under so long. Pain fills his form, excruciating agony coursing through his veins. The realization that he is dying is an anticlimactic one.

He cranes his head to see two forms crashing against each other in a flurry of claws, fangs and _blood_ in the unmistakable visages of Kaname and Sara. Zero grits his teeth and digs his elbows into the ground, forcing his body towards the fight, forcing himself to ignore the rough sensation of stone on his skin as he drags himself across the ground, knowing that attempting to walk is far out of his reach right now.

“K-Kaname!” Something is fighting him, trying to wrest back control of his body and no doubt send him back to that white hell. It takes all of Zero’s strength to fight it off as Kaname finally gains the upper hand in the fight. The brunette stiffens at Zero’s voice.

“D-Don’t!” Zero rasps. He can’t let him kill her, much as he may want to. It would mean allowing his pureblood side to _win_ if Kaname kills her, succumbing to his base instincts and becoming the very thing Kaname loathes. He can’t- he can’t let his mate do that, unwilling to let Kaname become such a monster.

Exhaustion wins over before he can speak another word though and Zero finds himself thrust in that empty nothingness once more as that _thing_ finally wrests back control from him.

Kaname’s joy at hearing Zero’s voice once more is short-lived as he witnessed that glazed look return to his eyes and his body rises from the ground in a series of harsh, unnatural jerks. His heart plummets into his stomach when Zero’s dull eyes look not to Kaname, but the woman currently laughing in his grasp.

“What are your orders, mistress?

_No._ Kaname’s very blood slows in his veins as he finally begins to realize the aim of her game. An amused glint shines in Sara’s eyes. 

“Kill him.”

Too late Kaname crushes her windpipe beneath his fingers.

Kaname snarls as Zero leaps forward, attempting to comfort himself by reminding himself that it isn’t Zero anymore— _his_ Zero. Only a puppet, whose strings Sara is pulling. The being jerks forward, uncaring of its injured state as it launches itself at Kaname.

Kaname jumps back, keeping his grip firm around Sara’s neck. _I am sorry, Zero._ He focuses his powers on the vampire that is barely even alive at this point, shambling towards him with a limp on its right side and left arm bent unnaturally backwards. A grim red reminder of Kaname’s failure to save him continues to leak from two holes in his neck. Kaname flings the thing backwards.

It crashes into the ground, kicking up a cloud of dust and sending bits of stone flying. Even from several yards away Kaname can hear the sound of his mate’s skull cracking on the concrete like it’s right next to his ear, cringing as he knows that sound will forever be branded into his memory. He spares only a glance at Zero, laying limply where he lands, unmoving at all among the dirt.

Something shatters in the ancient vampire right then. A horribly fragile thing has cracking and splintering upon realizing that Zero—his mate, his love, his everything is _gone,_ and it hadn’t been by Sara’s hands or falling to a level E that killed him in the end. It was Kaname himself who was the death of Zero, in the end _._ His mate, dead now by Kaname’s own to hands. 

Sara tips her head back and laughs, the sound a mad, broken thing that grates on Kaname’s ears. _We’re the same now,_ her gaze seems to say. _Don’t you see?_ They’ve both lost everything in the death of the ones they loved. _Now you know what agony I have felt._

Kaname thrusts a hand into her chest, enjoying how abruptly her laughing ceases when his fingertips crush through muscle and bone until they find her heart, closing around the warm organ. He yanks it from her chest, leaving a gaping hole in the wake and throws it on the ground before releasing his grip, letting Sara crumple to the stone.

Kaname steps on the organ, crushing it beneath his shoe and splattering the ground in viscera and blood. _Disgusting._ Sara Shirabuki is not even worth eating. He turns his back on her as the woman turns into fine, shimmering crystals.

And he finally allows himself to break.

Dahlia isn’t given time to think as she bursts from the maze into the clearing to see Shirabuki and Kaname silently facing off against one another—the blonde goading over the bound man before her. Betrayal curls hot and vivid in her chest at the sight of Pippa next to the blonde and Zero- oh _god,_ Zero.

She doesn’t think before calling forth all of her magic, aiming a blast of energy straight for the girl’s chest and shoving Sara backward. It’s more than enough to break whatever hold Pippa has on the brunette, and once free Kaname didn’t waste one second before taking off after the blonde pureblood, leaving Pippa for the witch to deal with.

Dahlia’s fingers curl into fists at her side as she finally spins to confront the girl she’d chosen to take under her wing years ago. Not out of obligation, but _kindness._ This is one hell of a way to repay her, she must say. Pippa finally faces her mentor, pushing herself off the ground with a scowl.

“We gave you _everything,_ ” Dahlia spits at the girl. Her and her sisters gave everything to the girl; a warm place to sleep, food to eat and an environment where her knowledge of magic could blossom alongside her sisters. They’d taken her in after finding her still alive after an attempt to cleanse the girl of her magic had failed, leaving her living but in terrible pain from the tortures she’d suffered. Dahlia herself was the one who carried her to safety that day. “And this is how you thank us?”

She circles the girl she’d come to think of as something akin to a sibling in recent years, not bothering to hide the simmering anger and disgust. “ _Why?”_

Up close now she can see the dull, frosted sheen to Pippa’s eyes that gives away Sara’s hold on her. But not all of her actions can be attributed to Sara’s influence, Dahlia isn’t that naïve. Part of this _had_ been Pippa. Sara wouldn’t have taken interest in such a young witch unless Pippa approached her of her own accord.

“My friends _died_ in that explosion!” Pippa hisses. “And our spineless coward of a president was going to let them go unpunished!”

“That explosion was caused by your own hands, girl. The blood of your friends lies on your hands—no one else’s. Are you so caught up in your lies that you have come to believe them?”

“Someone had to do something!” Pippa shouts. “Hunters and vampires are enemies. This facade of peace was not meant to last forever.”

Dahlia shakes her head at the girl’s words. These are the ravings of a mad woman, the poor girl is clearly not of sound mind anymore—if she ever was. Dahlia berates herself for not seeing so sooner, although admittedly evidence of how lost the girl truly is now, makes what she is about to do significantly easier. 

She unhooks one of the blades from her belt and hurls it in the girl’s direction. Pippa’s image flickers for a second before vanishing as the weapon passes clean through her.

_This,_ Dahlia thinks, _is exactly why I prefer guns._

Dahlia ducks beneath a blast that comes flying at her, instead destroying one of the carefully trimmed bushes and leaving nothing but bare grass and leaves in it’s wake. She spins on her heel to face the girl across the fountain, bringing up an energy shield to block another blast though the effort requires her to dig her feet into the ground.

A bolt of sharp electricity clips her in the shoulder, shocks rippling through her and leaving Dahlia panting and clutching at the smarting area with narrow eyes.

_Well, so much for going easy then, love._

Dahlia grips two more daggers from her belt and throws them into the air with the first. The three daggers soar through the air in a blur, aiming for Pippa and catching her in the calf with one before the older witch raises an arm and envelopes the girl to the waist in ice.

Pippa snarls and melts the ice with a ball of flame in her hand before ripping the dagger from her leg and lunging for Dahlia, who smoothly dodges to the side and sends Pippa sprawling forward with a sharp foot to her back. 

She calls one of her daggers back to her hand just as Pippa rises.

Dahlia brings the dagger up, slicing into the younger witch’s arm while Pippa thrusts her hand up into the older woman’s gut and sends her crashing into the stone fountain with the force of the blast. 

Stone and water crumble around Dahlia in the wake of the blast. By now her lungs are on fire as the battle begins to take its toll on her. _Damn,_ it’s been a while since she’s used this much magic at once _._

With each blow she and Pippa trade Dahlia’s little strength that remains begins to wane, and she silently bemoans the loss of her pristine black suit, now stained with dirt, blood and torn in several places. Each time she blocks a blow with her magic her energy starts to fade quicker and quicker, leaving her heaving with each breath she draws.

Only a few minutes have they been fighting, but it seems like _hours_. She aches from using all her energy on magic and even Pippa seems to be slowing in her responses, moving sluggishly in response to Dahlia’s attacks. 

Dahlia switches to relying more on her daggers, dancing in and out of the girl’s range with blades in hand, cutting into skin and flesh.

Pippa catches her off guard when she sweeps a leg beneath the older woman, sending her crashing to the ground. The older witch’s daggers clatter to the stone beside her as Pippa’s hand slams down on her stomach with lightning buzzing between her fingers. 

Dahlia screams and groans loudly as agony rips through her, back arching sharply and teeth grinding together. She scrunches her eyes together, not wanting to see the look on the girl’s face as pain wracks her form, knowing she hasn’t the energy to put up a fight any longer.

Yet so distracted is Pippa that she never hears nor feels the telltale ripple magic behind her. 

Not until a sword is sticking out of her chest, that is. At which point her magic stops as she freezes in shock, gazing down numbly at the metal protruding from her body, slick with her blood.

Dahlia heaves as the pain ceases and glances up at the girl above her, mouth falling open before she recovers enough to push Pippa off of her, watching the girl fall to the side, unable to do little more than struggle for breath and choke on her own blood.

Dahlia stands on shaky legs and yanks the sword free from Pippa’s chest, and letting it clamor to the ground, a twinge of guilt and regret running through her as Pippa’s body spasms and her blood oozes onto the ground. She never wanted things to turn out like this between them, never.

It’s a blessing when the life finally fades from Pippa’s eyes.

“You’re going to owe me one for that, hun.”

Dahlia manages a grateful smile as Ava emerges from somewhere in the darkness. Gone is her usual brightly colored and loose-fitting dress though, in its place black combat gear complete with heavy boots and a protective helmet which her flaming red hair has been tucked into. Ava cocks her hip out as she stares at her wife, gaze softening slightly as it shifts to Pippa. She’d hoped that they might have been able to avoid this outcome and spares a sad shake of her head for the girl.

Dahlia doubles over, bracing herself on her knees, agony overpowering her relief at the sight of her wife. Her heart leaps into her throat as she remembers she’s far from the only one in need of help right now. 

“Ava- Zero-“ She chokes out. “He’s dying. You have to- you’ve got to help him.”

“But you-“

“I’ll be fine.” Dahlia rasps. “Really, just give me a minute and I’ll be right behind you. But Zero, he-“ _He doesn’t have that kind of time._

Ava’s gaze hardens at what Dahlia’s asking her to do. Damn it all, she hates the idea of leaving the other witch alone while she’s this weak. But… if Zero is dying she might be the only able to heal him in time and she’d sword to always put other’s needs above her own as a healer.

Her shoulders fall as she makes her decision. “Hold on to this for me?” She asks, jerking her head towards the abandoned sword. _Promise me you’ll be here when I get back._

Dahlia manages a weak grin once more, enough to reassure the woman. “You got it.” _Always, love._

With a last curt nod to Dahlia, Ava turns and races towards the loud clamor of two purebloods clashing. If she knows Zero, he won’t be far.

Ava spots Zero right away, laying broken and so damn _still_ among the dirt; she doesn’t waste a second before hurrying around the two purebloods and over to his side where she kneels down, reaching out with a gloved hand, tilting his face towards her. A deep gash on the hunter’s forehead leaks over his face caked with dirt, there’s a faint trickle of blood from his ears as well and far too many cuts and bruises in addition to the open bite wound on his nape. 

Ava’s heart sinks and to be honest, she isn’t holding out much hope. Zero is barely breathing, and she doesn’t even have her kit with her to properly see to his wounds. She’s got her work cut out for her if there’s even to be the _slightest_ chance of saving him. 

The redhead takes a deep breath to steady herself, settling carefully in the dirt beside her friend. Her healing magic is no good if she can’t even remain calm enough to work it. _Easy now, in and out—breathe._

Slowly, carefully she reaches out with her magic, those small vestiges of hope in her chest being snuffed out as she searches in vain for a heartbeat, a breath, _some_ trace that life still lingers within her friend. 

But all that answers her is dark, damning silence. Ava stubbornly tries again with a frown, only to be met with that same blank stillness where life should rest within the hunter. Ava’s throat tightens as desperation spurs her to keep searching, attempting again and again and _again._

But there isn’t a spark of life anywhere to be found in Zero. It’s useless to keep searching anymore. The witch frowns, throat growing tighter as she begins to withdraw her magic. 

_Wait._

Ava pauses suddenly. She can almost feel something, there, in his chest. If she can _only just-_

“Ava!”

There’s no time to question how or _when_ Dahlia had arrived, because at the sound of her voice the witch looks up to see the bloodied but unmistakable form of Kaname looming the distance, Sara Shirabuki reduced to a pile of glittering crystals upon the ground. And said vampire is looking none too pleased to see her touching his mate. 

_Oh hell._

White fangs are bared menacingly, his claws unsheathed at his side and there isn’t a single glimmer of sanity left in Kaname’s red gaze. He looks feral and a shiver of fear runs down the witch’s spine as she lays eyes on a vampire whose last traces of sanity has disappeared along with his mate, for the first time in her life.

_A berserker pureblood._

“Shit,” She mutters as he encroaches with a deafening, inhuman howl. Something tells her the man isn’t going to be open to reasoning and she can’t risk losing precious time by fighting him. Which doesn’t leave her with a lot of options. 

Taking a chance, she aims a sleeping spell of hers at the furious pureblood.

Kaname doesn’t even stumble as he races towards her in bounding steps, Ava’s heart pounding as she eyes the red whip of blood flying at her. Her stomach is a mess of knots. She raises a shield just in time to block the attack, breath being driven from her lungs and shock running through her at the strength the pureblood still possesses. _How?_

Magic is not going to work, apparently. Panic crawls up the healer’s throat as she glances towards the glint of metal near Zero. Bloody Rose and the chain connecting it to its owner sitting perfectly intact amongst the rubble and dirt. Kaname draws closer and Ava knows he’ll kill her without a second thought for touching his mate. _Gods,_ if he really is a berserker then he’ll kill _everyone._

It’s a tough decision to make. Allow Zero to die? Or kill his mate, giving her enough time to get Zero to the medical team? Even then it’s a slim chance at best. _Damn it,_ she hates decisions like these. There’s a _reason_ why she stays out of the field and works as a healer instead. 

She can hear the heavy breaths of the pureblood now, the man so close she can see the vestiges of madness swimming in his eyes and dried tracks of tears on his cheeks.

Gripping the gun, she whirls and levels it at the pureblood, magic reaching out to the weapon like an old friend. “Sorry pretty boy.”

She fires once, twice before Kaname finally falls, leaving a vile taste of guilt lingering in the witch’s mouth. _Sorry it has to be like this._ But Zero is her friend, first and foremost and she’d do it again in a heartbeat to save him.

_It isn’t him,_ she tries to tell herself, any part of _Kaname_ that had lingered disappeared along with Zero after all. That isn’t him, not anymore, only a hollow shell remaining. At least that’s what she tells herself.

The medical team comes rushing out into the gardens in a loud racket of hard footsteps and rustling clothing. Ava lets herself be led away from her friend as the other healers hurriedly crowd around Zero and a smaller, separate group around Kaname, barking orders to each other that the witch doesn’t care to listen to. 

Her body is shaking. _Strange_. It isn’t even cold, yet her heart is hammering away and her legs are weak. It seems like any minute now she’ll fall to the floor with how much her legs shake and threaten to give out beneath her. It occurs to her, belatedly, that this is the first time she’s ever killed anyone.

Dahlia joins her as both of them are taken inside to have their own injuries seen to, Dahlia taking Ava’s hand and giving it a reassuring squeeze. The redhead pauses at the doors, glancing backwards towards Kaname and Zero one last time and seeing nothing but the dark-clad medical personal swarming around them like flies to a corpse.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only 1 more chapter then the epilogue to go! Although I am also writing a one-shot that takes place some years after the ending of this story, so I should be posting that as well when I get around to finishing it lol.


	29. Chapter 29: Indomitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And here we come to the end. There will be an epilogue still to come that will hopefully answer some lingering questions!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> askjfkalkjskdfj I can't believe this story is already ending! I'm still so so thankful for everyone that stuck around this long and enjoyed this story and left kudos and comments! I just- holy shit, I never thought anyone would like reading something I wrote this much and I'm in awe that all of you liked this story. I really don't have any words just- thank you, so much! <3
> 
> I will post the epilogue soon (hopefully) but if you're interested in reading more on these two dorks, feel free to check out my other story, Gimme Shelter! <3

_Though our body's weak and breakable_

_The spirit is indomitable_

 

Consciousness returns to him in snippets, bits of blinding light flash before him and undefined shapes and shadows that flicker in and out of existence, moving in his vision before the blackness envelops him once more and it’s all lost to him. He has more and more of those segments of awareness. But in between them, when the black abyss returns to greet him like an old friend and it’s there where he drifts, unawake and unaware.

_Is it minutes? Or hours? Days even?_ He’s not sure. Time is a fickle and fleeting concept here, playing by rules of its own devising. Yet knowing that is not as disconcerting as it might once have been, for here in this empty space time doesn’t drag on around him, the minutes and seconds edging him on or holding him back. His body no longer holds any sense of time, so he needn’t worry about it. He doesn’t examine that idea too closely.

No, here he simply _is._ Neither human or vampire or hunter – yet all of them all at once. There’s no weight pressing down against him here and finally he can breathe.

There’s a meadow here. With soft green grass stretching for miles and miles around in all directions, littered with colorful flowers beneath an ever-changing rainbow sky. Soft blades tickle his bare feet. Of course, there’s no one else here but him, which is oddly peaceful.

He meets _them_ there in the strange meadow. His brother. His Mother and Father. And for once no tears are shed between them, they laugh and smile like days long since passed. Here in this odd place what-could-have-been becomes what _is._

_“Are you happy?” His Mother asks him, not a trace of judgement in the weathered lines of her face. Her harsh blonde ponytail is streaked through with silver and gray just as he remembers._

_“I wasn’t. Not for a long time.” He confesses, thinking of nights spent clawing at the burning in his throat and days spent listening to the harsh voices of his classmates whispering about him. The bitter envy felt towards his sister and wondering what she had that he didn’t._

_More than that, he thinks of Ren. Their wide smile that shows off a gap in their two front teeth and the way they snort if they laugh too hard. He thinks of Kaname and his rich, earthy scent, waking to the warm sensation of the brunette’s cold skin plastered to his back. “Yeah. I think I am.”_

_His Mother fixates on something in the distance. “Good, good. I never wanted anything else but to see you two happy.”_

_His shoulders sag. “I know.”_

_“Will you tell me about them?” She asks softly._

_He takes a deep breath and speaks._

_He speaks of Ren and how utterly broken they’d been when he found them and how it was like seeing into a mirror of his own past and he couldn’t not help them. It hadn’t been easy at first and they’d both been awkward and uneasy around each other. But over time they’d established a mutual trust between them. Now he couldn’t stomach the thought of being separated from the kid._

_It takes considerably more effort to speak of Kaname. But he does. He tells them all of his relationship with the pureblood and how rocky things had been at the start. How it had only gone downhill from there until he finally left and didn’t see his mate again for seven years. More than that, he talks of their reconciliation and the change he’s witnessed for himself within the pureblood. He very deliberately evades his Mother’s when he gets to Kaname’s connections to Shizuka._

_By the time he finishes he cannot help but feel exhausted yet relieved at the same time. “Are you angry at me?” He asks, twirling a blade of grass around his finger._

_His Mother reaches forward to tilt his chin towards her. “You know I would never begrudge you your happiness. All I’ve ever wished for was to see you happy again, my love. Do you love him?”_

_“I do.”_

_“Then that’s all that matters.”_

_There’s a stinging in his eyes that he cannot hold back. He feared for years that his family would hate him for loving Kaname, that they’d shun and loathe him for craving the affection of the man who had been behind their deaths. Never in a million years would he have imagined hearing those words from his Mother._

_He finds himself leaning forward as a heavy weight presses against his back, a pair of arms linking themselves around his neck. Ichiru’s smile is a blinding but welcome sight. “Mom’s right. And while you’re at it, stop blaming yourself so much, brother. Save some of it for the rest of us, eh?”_

_It sounds so much like the brother he used to know, back before years of bitterness and anger had hardened them both. Wetness spills from his eyes. “Alright. I’ll try.”_

_Suddenly, he can’t imagine ever leaving this place, this place in which his family still exists and accepts him._

_His Dad clasps his shoulder. “Let yourself be happy, kid. And maybe next time you’ll have even more stories to tell us. We’ll all be waiting.”_

_Waiting? Alarmed, he turns to face the man. “What do you mean?”_

_But before any of them can answer that white light returns, enveloping him once more, along with an unmistakable finality. The last thing he sees before it takes him is the smiling faces of his family._

Zero regrets opening his eyes as soon as he does so, being met with a bright light like a slap to the face. He scrunches his eyes closed again before opening them more slowly the second time around. A stretch of white ceiling greets him this time, thankfully less bright than before.

He’s overcome with a weird sensation. Dizzy and unaware, like everything is in slow motion around him despite the lightness in his chest. He smacks his dry lips together and it doesn’t take long for him to decide that it was far from a pleasant sensation.

He can’t sit up as drugged up as he is, but that’s never stopped him from trying before and it isn’t about to now. The paper gown on his form rustles and crinkles as he attempts to sit up enough to see and a distant pain wracks his arm. 

Only something is wrong - everything is _silent._ Try as he might, not a single damn sound reaches his ears, like there’s cotton stuffed in them. Zero’s heart begins to pund in his chest and he struggles against the fatigue trying to drag him back down to the stiff bed.

Frantically, his eyes flicker around the room, taking in the foreign beige walls and sterile white floors. It’s a strange and unfamiliar sight, making panic race through him. A dark-haired figure at his side begins to stir from the chair he’s sitting in.

None of this is familiar at all. What- what _is_ this place? Where is he? Zero wracks his brain, trying to remember what had happened and is only met with fog. God, it’s too hard to even _think_ right now.

But he sure as fuck doesn’t remember anything like _this._ When Zero looks down he can see tubes and whatnot strapped to his arms. _What the actual hell?_

He doesn’t know what’s going on at all. What’s happening to him? Those- those people took him here. But why? How? So many questions and no answers.

The dark-haired figure jerks to awareness upon seeing him struggle, quickly reaching out to stop Zero from yanking out the tubes in his arms with a hand on his wrist. Zero snarls at the stranger and shakes them off, frantically ripping the plastic from his flesh. Blood sprays out from the wound, staining his gown.

The stranger is mouthing something – his name? Maybe. It’s hard to tell, not that Zero can hear him anyways. He pushes him away and tries to stand, forcing his weak body to move from the bed. Cold feet hit the floor as Zero focuses on the wooden door, only a few feet away. _Freedom-_

The door opens suddenly, to a small woman in blue scrubs taking in the scene before her, eyes widening as she looks at him. Zero isn’t focused on her – no he’s far more curious about the small form lingering behind her.

_Ren?_

Zero pauses in his struggles, ignoring the ongoing commotion around him at the glimpse of the teenager, brows furrowing. 

The last thing he feels before the world is yanked out from under him is the prick of a needle in his skin.

 

“So, how did it go?” Yuuki asks with a frown, folding her dress as she takes a seat in one of the flimsy plastic chairs.

“Not well.”

She winces at Kaname’s words as both siblings keep silent vigil over the unconscious hunter beside them. “That bad?”

“He wasn’t- He panicked, started yanking out his IVs and trying to escape. He was _terrified._ ” The man explains, wringing a hand through brown strands. “But the worst was when I tried to stop him. He looked at me like he had no idea who I was, as though I was a complete stranger to him.”

Yuuki offers a soft sympathetic smile and lays a hand on his arm. “The doctor warned us that something similar might happen at first, remember? It might be a bit confusing for him when he wakes up, at first and it’s only going to get more difficult.”

“You’re right,” Kaname admits, shoulders slumping. “But it still pains me to see him like this.”

“Me too, but you have to understand, brother that things are going to be a lot different for Zero. He might need time to deal with that on his own,” But she knows if given too much of that Zero will push everyone away first chance he gets. It’s just how he is - given an inch and that man will take a mile. The trick is in finding the balance between giving him his space and not letting him isolate himself and sink too deep into his thoughts. If anyone could do that, it’ll be Kaname though.

Kaname frowns as he stares at the sedated form on the bed. He thought he’d lost him that night, he really did. It was the most horrifying thing he’d ever had to face. Even now Zero looks so fragile and thin amongst the stark white of the hospital sheets.

“He’ll be okay, brother. He will.” _He has to be._

“How do you know that?” Zero is more fragile than he lets on. His mind can be a dark place at times and in the past those dark feelings have nearly gotten the better of him on more than one occasion. What if this time is no different? What if Kaname can’t help him? What if this time no one finds him in time?

Yuuki manages a tight smile and squeezes her brother’s hand. “Because he’s Zero.”

The second time Zero wakes is considerably calmer than the first. He still jolts and a familiar look of panic returns to his eyes, but it quickly fades when he cranes his head and notices Yuuki and Kaname at his bedside. The woman gives him a warm smile.

Yet the deafening silence remains.

“What… happened? I don’t- I can’t hear anything.” The words are spoken more to the room than either Yuuki or Kaname, even as he turns to look at them with a questioning gaze. He watches the purebloods exchange a glance before Yuuki lifts a thin, tablet-like device in her hands and swiftly moves her fingers across the screen. _Typing,_ he realizes shortly before she finishes and holds it up for Zero to see.

If he wasn’t panicking before he is _now._

_There were… complications regarding your injuries. Your healing abilities were still recovering from the poison and Sara’s venom greatly inhibited what little was left of them. Unfortunately, because of this you sustained a lot of trauma to your head._

Zero looks away from the bold text with a set jaw. He’s seen enough, he doesn’t need for Yuuki to spell it out for him. 

His hearing is gone. Plain and simple

Pale fingers clench the sheets across his lap. That fucking bitch stole a part of himself from him and it _hurt._

“And there’s no chance of it healing eventually?”

Yuuki turns to type on the tablet with a small smile – the kind a parent gives as they indulge a child’s foolish questions - before showing it to Zero once more.

_There is a slim chance that you may still be able to hear noises at a certain volume but anything beyond that is next to impossible. I’m so sorry, Zero._

Zero stares down at his lap with a tight throat, the world crashing to a thundering halt around him as the words slowly sink in. Never again will he hear Ren laugh or hear Kaname’s smooth voice wash over his ears. His knuckles turn white as he wills himself not to cry. Somehow giving into the misery seems too much like letting Sara win.

“I thought- I was dead,” He rasps.

_Technically speaking you were. For fifteen minutes your heart wasn’t beating, and you weren’t breathing. There was quite a lot going on, but there was something about bleeding in your head, I think. You were rushed into emergency surgery along with Kaname when the medical personnel arrived._

“Wait, Kaname?” It hits Zero as soon as the words leave his mouth that Kaname and he are still _mates._ He’s seen pictures of what happened to vampires that lost their mates before and it isn’t pretty. If he’d really been dead, then – he glances towards Kaname, but it’s Yuuki whom he addresses. “What happened?”

Yuuki purses her lips together and glances at her brother before typing again.

_Kaname briefly turned into a berserker. He nearly attacked Ava when she tried to see to your injuries before she grabbed your gun and shot him. There wasn’t much else she could do._

Then, thinking better of it Yuuki quickly typed another bit of text.

_He’s fine now, as you can see. So is Ava._

“Then where is she?”

_She and Dahlia said it would be best not to overwhelm you with too many faces. That and she’s helping see to the remaining injured from that night. There were a lot of casualties from the poison Sara slipped into the wine and even more injured, both vampires and hunters._

“And Sara herself?”

This time it’s Kaname who takes the device, typing only a few short seconds. _Dead._

“Good.”

Zero shuts his eyes, gladdened by the fact that at least that bitch won’t be able to hurt anyone else. But not even her death will undo the damage she’s wrought. People died that night. And she’s taken a part of Zero with her and nothing will ever be able to completely undo that no matter what happens. His throat is tight.

“What else- how much damage did she do?” He’s almost afraid of the answer that awaits him when he opens his eyes all the same to see what Yuuki writes for him.

_Quite a lot. In addition to the poison in the wine, she also had Pippa under her thrall and used her to plant the bomb in the association. Not to mention that she’d been manufacturing illegal blood tablets made with her own blood, which we suspect were responsible for the incident at Cross Academy. We’re still trying to round up the ones still circulating on the black market._

Jesus, it seems that Shirabuki had sunken her claws in deep. Zero reads patiently as Yuuki goes on to tell him that, for the time being she’s resumed her place as Queen given that Kaname needs time to recover from his injuries as well.

She also explains with a heavy heart that Aidou is among the casualties of _that night_ and Ruka is still recuperating as well. Zero frowns at the news and gives his condolences. He may not have been all that fond of the man himself, but Zero’s heart hurts knowing how much Kaname, Yuuki and Ruka had valued the blonde as a friend.

Damage control is an on-going process and likely will be for some time. But this time it hasn’t only been hunters hurt, so a part of him hopes that at least both vampires and hunters might find a shared grief between them if nothing else. 

He can tell by her stiff posture and the tense air that Yuuki is kicking herself for not realizing what had been happening beneath her nose this whole time, knowing that she blames herself for everything. 

_It’s not your fault,_ he wants to say, but ultimately holds his tongue. She’ll have to come to terms with that herself, on her own time.

And of course, it doesn’t escape his notice that Yuuki isn’t the only one wanting to talk to him. He glances at the other pureblood beside her, whose eyes are patiently fixed on the window instead of Zero.

“Give us a minute?” Zero asks Yuuki when she follows his gaze. Her brows lift momentarily before understanding settles on her features.

_Of course._

She hands the tablet to Kaname before standing and collecting her jacket and purse from the floor. The woman gives Zero one last smile and a nod before silently disappearing from the room.

The air is thick with… something. Zero isn’t quite sure what to be exact, only that it’s there and its presence stretches wide between him and Kaname. He’s not quite sure he wants to put a name to it.

It’s Kaname who breaks the silence in the end, by showing him the tablet with a new message and still stubbornly refusing to meet Zero’s face.

_I have been doing some looking at apartments. I have found one on the east side that I believe you will like. After you’ve been discharged you can go take a look at it, and I can have your things sent over within a week._

The hunter’s brows furrow at the message before him. What? Oh, right – the argument they had. His promise.

“Don’t bother,” Zero sighs. “In fact, it’s probably best right now if I’m not left alone for a while. It’s going to take some time to get used to all this.” He gestures to his ears with a small chuckle, trying to lighten the mood. Kaname doesn’t smile at his lackluster attempt at humor.

_I’m sorry._

The hunter snorts. “For what?”

_This is my fault. If you hadn’t gone to that party-_

Zero stops reading before he’s even finished the whole message. “Okay, stop right there. First of all, _I_ made the choice to attend the gala, alright? It was _my_ fucking choice and I won’t let you take that from me. And it wasn’t you that did this, Kaname. This was all the work of that bitch, Shirabuki. Not you, not me. I need you to understand that.”

Kaname types with a stubborn frown. _But if you had not attended the gala you would not have gotten hurt._

Zero scoffs. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. Sara would only have found some other way to get to me and a whole lot of other people would have gotten hurt.”

_Perhaps,_ Kaname admits. _Sara Shirabuki has long since coveted power, as all others in her clan have. I was trying to protect you from ever being hurt by her. I suspected she would try something like this eventually._

“There. You see? She would have done something like this or even worse whether I went to that gala or not. I don’t- I don’t blame you, Kaname. This wasn’t your fault.”

_Do you hate me?_ Kaname is stubbornly refusing to look at him once more as he shows the message.

Zero lets out a heavy sigh and lifts the one arm that isn’t currently hooked up to an IV and grips the pureblood’s chin, turning him to face the hunter. He leans in as far as he can to press their foreheads together.

“No, I don’t. You’re a fucking _pureblood_. Do you think I didn’t know something like this might happen when I decided to be with you? I had a fairly good idea. But you know what? I wanted to do it anyways because I love you. Because I never gave a shit about the dangers that come with being with you, I only cared about _you._ The rest I couldn’t give a flying fuck about.”

_All I asked for was to be seen as your equal, instead of the secrets and lies._ This time the wetness on his cheeks is mirrored by the brunette’s face. Kaname’s expression is open and unguarded in a way Zero hasn’t seen in a long time and he regrets having to break away briefly to look down at the tablet.

_You love me?_

Zero laughs and presses his chapped, dry lips to Kaname’s, uncaring of how horrible his mouth must taste. “Yes, you fucking idiot.”

In his chest the tightly knit knot of emotions begins to loosen as Kaname kisses him. His heart flutters at the first touch of his mate after _weeks_ of nothing but blackness.

“I guess we’ve made a mess of things, haven’t we?” Zero says when they separate finally. God knows between the both of them they still have a mountain of issues and arguments just _waiting_ to be brought up again. Zero wipes at his eyes.

_Yes. I suppose we have._

A bitter smile graces the hunter’s lips. For once they agree on something at least. But his brief joy fades quickly when the silence around him remains and he remembers the reality of his situation. _A lifetime of silence._

“I don’t know who I am anymore,” He confesses, picking at lint on the sheets covering him. “Everything is so fucking different and god, I’m so fucking angry at that bitch for doing this to me. I feel so broken.” 

He can’t help the vulnerability he feels now, defenseless and clueless about everything. _Violated._ It’s all different now, whether he wants it to be or not. Hell, it’s not even the fact that his hearing is gone that nags at him so much. He’d feel the same had it been an arm or leg that Sara took from him, he’s sure. 

No, he hates the mere fact that she- that _bitch_ has fucking taken something from him permanently. Sara stole something from him that had been _his._ And now- now it isn’t, and it seems like she truly had the last laugh after all. Kaname reaches over to take Zero’s hand.

_We will figure it out together._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so so so much for reading! I love all you guys so damn much and I can't say that enough!


	30. Epilogue: Whoever said we couldn’t have it all?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after the incident Zero and the rest of the gang come together to celebrate Ai's birthday and look back on how far they've come since the gala incident. Kaname finally tells Zero what he was up to for those seven years he was gone and poses another important question to the hunter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello all! So I meant to post this on Monday actually, but then on Sunday night I came down with a horrendous case of food poisoning and I've been spending my time trying to recover from that ever since then (so if it seems like there are a few more grammar mistakes in this ch than usual, that's probably why). Apologies! I am starting to feel better now though, thankfully!
> 
> A million hugs and kisses to everyone who read this story and enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! I had a really fun time delving into the relationship between these two dorks and I do have a few ideas for future one-shots set in this universe (one of which is currently a WIP) so be on the lookout for those! I know I've said it a thousand times by now, but I really am just so glad you all took the time out of your day to read my work and that's doubly so if you left a comment or kudos - those really make my day and encourage me to keep writing. I'll stop rambling know, ha ha, but just know I love y'all so damn much! XOXOXO Thank you for reading!

Zero can’t help the way his breath catches in his throat as he walks into the large, spacious ballroom. It’s nothing like the gala. No, instead this one is bordered by square, golden walls with a mural covering the domed ceiling and he knows that’s no coincidence. It’s nothing like _that_ night, but he can’t help the way his eyes subconsciously flicker to the exits, his mind already planning out an evacuation route _just in case._

Fortunately, it’s also far less crowded than the gala. Filled with vampires and hunters and even a few humans, all agreeing to set their differences aside at least for the evening in favor of this evening’s honored guest.

Said guest of course skips up to Zero and Ren then, a shimmery red dress twirling around her knees and matching the ribbon that pulls her hair back. She wears shiny black mary janes too on her feet and rocks back on her slight heels as she greets the pair with a wave.

“Happy Birthday, Ai,”

Ai gives Zero a toothy grin in response and gingerly lifts the carefully wrapped gift out of his hands before tucking it beneath an arm, freeing both hands so she can sign to the man.

_Thank you, Uncle Zero and Ren!_ Her eyes flicker over then to her smaller cousin as she signs with clumsy movements. In contrast to Ai’s red, Ren chose to wear a royal blue dress for the evening. They offer a small, shaky smile to the girl, still working on overcoming their shyness a bit. 

“Wow, you look so pretty, Ren!”

“T-thanks.”

Ai is a bundle of energy, practically bouncing on her feet as she leans forward and takes Ren’s hands. 

“Hey, do you want to come see this cool bug I found in the garden? Mama said I can keep it, but only for a few days. She says it isn’t kind to take things from their natural habitat for too long, but I think it’s really neat.”

“Sure.” 

The two young vampires race off across the ballroom, drawing startled glances as they dodge and weave their way through the crowd while Zero just smiles to himself at the sight and holds back a chuckle. It’s good, seeing Ren finally making a close friend. 

Yuuki and Yori are hovering over by a table of refreshments, talking animatedly with Isaya. The pureblood woman’s pregnant belly is visible clearly beneath her dress, having progressed quite far along by now. She must be roughly… seven months along? Eight? Zero doesn’t know exactly, but she has that happy glow about her, the same one she’d gotten when pregnant with Ai. From what he’s heard as well, the girl is ecstatic about being a big sister.

Someone taps Zero on the shoulder, making him jolt slightly before turning around to see Ruka standing before him. 

She isn’t wearing anything particularly eye-catching, only a simply black dress with a slit on the side but somehow the woman is still drawing attention to herself because it’s _Ruka Souen_. The smile she gives Zero is weak though, hands shaking where she clutches a glass of punch.

Ruka downs the rest of her glass before placing it on the tray of a passing waiter. 

_This is all quite something, isn’t it? Yuuki really pulled out all the stops._

“Yeah.”

_How are you holding up?_

The hunter forces a shrug. “Fine, I guess. As well as I can be. It’s- it’s difficult at times. But what in life isn’t?”

Ruka gives him a nod then that says she knows that feeling all-too-well.

_You know, I can’t help but be reminded of that night at events like these. I know it’s stupid and I shouldn’t but- some part of me with probably always carry that night with me. I wonder what Aidou would say if he were here._

“You can’t think like that, Ruka. It isn’t good for you,” Zero tells her, laying a hand on her bare shoulder. “What happened that night wasn’t your fault. Any of it.”

_I know. I just- if I’d only been a bit faster, if I’d been in my right mind and hadn’t succumbed to that drug. Maybe he would still be here._

“Or maybe he wouldn’t be. You don’t know that Ruka and all those what-ifswill drive you crazy. You’ve got to let yourself move on. Aidou’s death wasn’t your fault.”

Her shoulders slump as she blinks back wetness in her eyes. Across the room, she spies Kain lingering and talking with other vampires and her chest tightens at the sight. 

She hasn’t spoken to Akatsuki at all since that night, too ashamed and ridden with guilt to even think about speaking with him. And perhaps, too afraid of seeing the loathing written across his face. He hates her, no doubt. After all she’s the reason his cousin is dead. How can he not?

Zero follows her gaze and gives the woman a slight nudge to her side that has Ruka looking at him in confusion. The man jerks his head towards the man, fingers moving rapidly. 

_Go talk to him._

“What?” Ruka asks. _No, I can’t- I-_

“Yes, you can. _Go._ You can’t avoid the man forever, Ruka. Might as well get it over with.”

_But- but what if he hates me?_ She doesn’t know if she can bear that.

_He doesn’t, trust me. Go talk to him._

“I-“

_Ruka, you can’t run away from this for the rest of your life._

“But-”

_Go._

“Oh _fine,”_ she surrenders before she can think better of it. It takes every bit of her confidence to lift her shoulders high before she strides across the room, heading determinedly in Kain’s direction even as every part of her screams for her to run away and never look back. She can do this. She can. 

Something in Zero’s eyes softens as he watches the woman march across the room. This past year was difficult for all of them that had been at the gala that night, not just him and in those following months Ruka had gone from the blunt, confident woman she was to a wilted flower, weighted down by guilt and trauma of that night. But now? Now he sees a bit of who she used to be peeking through the cracks. It’s a pleasant change for once.

Zero himself had been through hell and back. Or at least it seems like it. The loss of his hearing was hard at first to deal with—not because he was broken or anything. But the fact that _Sara Shirabuki_ had taken it. That fucking bitch had taken something from him, something Zero had never thought he would lose. She’d taken a piece of him with her and he hated that the most. Because no matter how hard he tried to rid himself of her she would always be there with him now. She’d left a permanent mark on him that he would never be rid of.

It wasn’t easy at first, learning to live without sound. Being able to speak yet unable to hear most of what other people said was odd and unusual and learning sign language wasn’t some simple task by any means. Many times, he’d broken down in a fit of anger and frustration, yelling and sobbing - most often Kaname was the target of said frustration too. But the pureblood never left, enduring everything Zero hurled at him with the patience of a saint. Zero didn’t know how he did it.

He wanted to quit. Several times he _did_ quit before ultimately coming back to it a week or so later and starting the entire process anew. It helped that his friends and family all took up the task of learning alongside him. For the first time in a while, Zero wasn’t alone anymore.

He can’t say he’s completely ‘healthy’ once more. That there won’t be more days of frustration and yelling and wanting to be done with the whole thing just as he can’t claim there won’t be more nightmares or panic attacks. 

He isn’t the same Zero he was before Sara sank her claws into him. And a part of him knows that he never will be, too scarred by the trauma left behind in the wake of _that_ night. 

He can’t stand the sensation anyone touching his neck anymore and keeps it covered up with tightly wrapped bandages and most of the time the smell of sweets makes him nauseous nowadays. The sound of a rushing fountain never fails to activate his fight-or-flight instincts and he’s grown absolutely _terrified_ of large crowds. And those are just a few of the psychological marks he bears after the incident. His therapist says that there remains a chance he might one day improve, but she also stresses that he may always carry remains of that night with him in some ways—something that Zero is slowly getting to a point where he can accept.

Is he okay? No, not by a long shot. But someday he just might be.

The hunter looks up as someone stops before him, going stiff like a deer in headlights as he lays eyes on Cross. 

Admittedly, he maybe has been avoiding his Father ever since Cross was released from the hospital a few months ago. He’s not really sure _why;_ maybe it’s the lingering guilt or maybe shame at the idea of his father seeing him at his lowest point. Zero doesn’t know which and he isn’t sure he wants to. Things have always been strained between them at best, downright hostile at worst. Once he’d wanted to fix their relationship, yet now he isn’t sure there’s anything left to fix.

The man is leaning on a cane now, looking older than he’s ever been and there’s a bone-deep weariness to his eyes behind his glasses that hadn’t been there before his coma. Still, he manages to tuck the cane beneath his arm and raise his hands to sign in slow, shaky gestures. _Can we talk?_

“About what?”

_Everything?_ A bitter smile crosses the man’s face and his shoulder slump as he sighs. _I’ve been unfair to you, Zero. I realize that now, though it took some time to see. And I wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I realize that perhaps I did tend to pay a fair bit more attention to Yuuki than you and I was far from the Father you deserved. I am sorry, my son. For not seeing what you were going through and never paying enough attention. I realize those words may not do much now, but I am well and truly sorry, Zero._

Zero’s throat closes up, tightening around a rock-hard lump and he stares at the ground beneath his feet. What is there to say to that? 

Is this the part where he’s meant to forgive him, tell the man that his apology makes it all okay? It doesn’t. And maybe that’s selfish of him, but it doesn’t make any of it okay. 

All the heartfelt apologies in the world won’t undo all the harassment and bullying he suffered, nor will it take away the twin silver scars running down his forearms from when he was a teenager and finally decided he’d had _enough_ of all the bullshit. He still doesn’t know if he was lucky Yuuki found him that night or not. Cross’ words don’t erase all the self-loathing that has been engrained in Zero’s head at this point because no one ever taught him otherwise. It doesn’t erase all those nights hacking up blood tablets or Zero taking out his frustration on his own skin.

Maybe the right thing would be to forgive the man and move on. But Zero doesn’t know if he can.

Cross sighs and steps closer, reaching up to clasp an arm around Zero’s neck, an old intimate gesture among hunters and usually far more welcome than a hug.

Zero draws in a sharp breath. _Claws, razor-sharp, digging into his skin, drawing blood. Flowery perfume invading his nose. Curls of blonde hair against his cheek._ He stumbles backward before even realizing it, violet eyes going wide as he raises a hand protectively to his throat.

When reality finally sinks in Zero is left staring at his Father, drawing quick, hurried breaths. It takes a few long seconds before he finally registers that it’s _Cross_ before him and the man doesn’t pose a threat. Zero lowers his hand and tries to relax his tightening muscles. 

“I- sorry.”

Cross simply shakes his head. _No, it is I who should be sorry, Zero. For everything._

“Why? It’s not like you had anything to do with Shirabuki.”

_No, but perhaps if I had simply shut down Cross Academy, if only I hadn’t been so foolish and blind-_

“Stop. It isn’t your fault,” Zero tells him. Don’t get him wrong, there are a great deal of things he does blame Cross for, but this isn’t one of them. He had no way of knowing about Shirabuki. None of them had.

_I have decided to leave the Academy shut down for the time being while we revise our policies. You were right, there does need to be a great amount of change. I have been far too lackadaisical, it seems. I am simply sorry that it took me this long to see it._

“Good.” It’s nice to see Cross finally listening to him, taking his words into account. It’s nice to be heard for once. Still, the question remains. “Where do we go from here?”

_I believe that’s up to you. I won’t ask for forgiveness, Zero when I know that I don’t deserve it. All I ask is for a chance to redeem myself. You are still my son and I would like to be a part of your life if you will have me._

And there it is. The big question. 

Zero folds his arms and looks out across the floor, where couples mingle and dance. Others simply nibble on delicate hors d'oeuvres and sip leisurely at their beverages, content to watch. 

“I don’t think I can forgive you. Not yet. But I want to make things right between us. I know it might take some time, but I think I’d like to fix things between us too.”

Cross smiles and opens his arms for a hug. This time Zero takes his chance, stepping forward to embrace the older hunter. It doesn’t escape his notice that faint traces of cigarette smoke and whiskey cling to Cross’ form. 

Zero closes his eyes and lets himself enjoy the feeling of his Father’s warm arms wrapped around him, something that he hasn’t felt in a long, long time. When he pulls back, it isn’t only Cross that’s smiling this time. Somehow, something in the younger man’s chest feels lighter. 

_I should probably leave you alone for now. Yagari is probably looking for me and I’ve taken up enough of your time._

“Yeah. I should probably find Kaname as well.” Zero says. “Later… Pops.”

After a few moments of dazedly wandering around the room in search of his wayward mate, Zero lets out a most indignant squawk as a pair of firm arms winds around his waist and a broad chest presses against his back. He’s hovering by the table of food, sipping at the red punch and nibbling on a cookie while lazily scanning the crowd for his mate. Which—to be fair, isn’t his fault. He _is_ searching for Kaname, okay? 

Or at least he was, except then Dahlia and Ava stopped to talk to him for a while and _then_ he got pulled aside by Yuuki and Yori and well - he needs a bit to rest after all that conversation. 

He spins in Kaname’s arms to face the vampire, enough that he can see Kaname sign to him.

_A little birdy mentioned you were looking for me_. Kaname signs with a smug grin.

“Nope. I’ve changed my mind.” Zero drawls in his best deadpan voice before leaning in to press a kiss to his mate’s lips, winding his arms around the pureblood and tugging him closer. “Seriously, where have you been, though? I haven’t seen you all evening. Keep it up and I might start calling you Houdini, you know.”

Kaname laughs lowly at that and pecks Zero once more on the lips. _I know, I’m sorry._ _There was some business I had to see to._

“Sheesh, not even leader of the Council anymore and you’re _still_ busy,” Zero groans.

That’s something else that’s changed too. A few months ago, Kaname stepped down permanently from his position as Leader of the Council; citing wanting to spend more time with his mate and family as the reason, but Zero knows it’s at least partly for Yuuki’s sake as well. She loved her time on the Council and had made some great strides for vampires and hunters alike. And now she gets to take up her position again, only this time it’ll be permanent. Zero has never seen her happier than when she heard the news and admittedly, he’s looking forward to seeing what changes she’ll bring.

_But I’m not busy now._ Kaname tells him. _Besides, there is something I’ve been meaning to discuss with you._

Zero lifts an eyebrow at that. “Yeah? What is it?”

_Not here._ Kaname grabs his hand. _Come with me._

With the pureblood holding tightly to his wrist, Zero follows Kaname through the throngs of people. They weave their way through the crowd and out the two doors leading to the balcony where Kaname lets go of his hand as they step outside, before using his powers to close and lock to close both glass doors, insuring no interruptions.

The night air is warm and humid on Zero’s skin as he leans against the white railing, looking out over rolling hills that lead down to a river. Small lightning bugs fill the air and light up the night beneath a blanket of stars. 

“Wow,” The hunter murmurs, looking out over all of it with awe in his voice. Not that he hasn’t seen this view at least a dozen times, considering this is just one of many Kuran mansions. But it’s one that never fails to take his breath away. “I never get over how pretty this view is.”

_Me neither,_ Kaname agrees, from beside him, pressing their shoulders together as they watch the bright bugs flit about in the air.

“You said you wanted to talk to me about something?” Zero finally asks, looking side long at his mate.

_I did,_ Kaname takes a deep breath and looks over at Zero, red eyes staring intensely at the hunter’s face. _You recall that I was gone for quite some time, surely?_

The younger man let out a scoff “Of course I remember, how could I not? _Seven_ fucking years, Kaname. And you never even told me why after you came back. I just gave up after a while.” That and well, the whole situation with Sara did serve rather well to preoccupy him. But that doesn’t mean he’s forgotten about it. Zero pauses to scrutinize him. “Is this the part where you tell me you have some hidden family or something?”

Zero can see the way his mate laughs at that and raises Zero’s hand to his mouth, pressing a kiss to the back of it. _No, nothing like that._

“Shame. That might have been exciting.”

_I am sorry to disappoint you_ , Kaname’s face doesn’t budge from his neutral expression, but amusement dances in his eyes. _No, those years spent away, I was… looking for something. I did not tell you before now, because I feared you would hate me if I did and reject me._

“Kaname?” A frown appears between Zero’s brows now as he pulls away from the balcony to look at his mate.

_Have you ever heard of a blood bond?_

“You mean that thing in stories that gives people powers and shit, like being able to communicate telepathically? Come on, that’s a myth.”

_Yes, I thought that too originally. But what if I told you it wasn’t entirely just a legend? I haven’t heard of anyone with special powers or telepathic communication. But what if I said there was some truth to that myth?_

Zero folds his arms now and fixes his mate with a most un-amused face. “I’d say you were fucking with me.”

_The real reason why I was gone for all those years, is because I was looking into blood bonds. A blood bond is apparently an ancient, forgotten ritual between our people, one that is said to only work on two vampires who are deeply, irrevocably, in love with one another. It’s said that the ritual ties both vampires’ very life forces together, linking them together for as long as they shall live yet also making all blood but that of their bonded toxic to them._

Zero’s breath hitches in his throat at the implications of those words, eyes going wide. “Kaname-“ 

It isn’t true, there’s no conceivable way that is true. If it is then- then-

_Naturally, I couldn’t believe such a thing at first either. I had to travel far and wide to find a pair that would be willing to try it first, to see for myself if such a thing was even possible._

“And did you? Find someone, I mean?”

Kaname nods. _I did. A pureblood and his servant were more than willing to test the ritual. And to my surprise, it worked._

Zero’s breath leaves his lungs in a sudden, sharp exhale. He can barely feel the ground beneath his feet anymore as Kaname steps closer, taking Zero’s hands in his own.

_Zero, I love you. More than I ever thought possible. A blood bond cannot be broken, that much is true, but it would tie your life force to mine, for as long as we both live. You would never again be in danger of falling to level E. You would never again have to be alone._

Kaname pulls a dark object from his pocket that the hunter immediately recognizes as a small box. The pureblood braces himself on one knee and opens the box to reveal a shining, gold ring. In its center lays a sizeable ruby in the shape of a teardrop, surrounded by leaf-shaped amethysts on either side and smaller rubies. 

_Zero, will you become my life partner, my eternal mate, by forming a blood bond with me?_

The hunter’s hand flies to his mouth as hot, wet tears leak down his cheeks. He can barely breathe, let alone think or move. To think, all those assumptions he’d made about the years Kaname was gone. Only to find out it had all been for _him._ Kaname hadn’t left for himself at all, but for _Zero._ No one has ever done anything even remotely close to that for Zero and he- he can’t quite fathom the idea of anyone wanting to do all of that for him even now. He’s just Zero Kiryuu. He’s nobody. But Kaname-

_Goddamnit._ Zero really has gotten soft, hasn’t he?

He already knows his answer, of course. Hell, he’s known for months now if not longer and Kaname is more of a fucking dumbass than Zero thinks if he _doesn’t_ know. 

“ _Yes._ Yes, I’ll form a blood bond with you, idiot. _”_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zero’s ring if anyone is curious: https://www.gemvara.com/jewelry/garland-ring/pear-ruby-18k-rose-gold-ring-with-amethyst-and-ruby/dp51g

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Zero isn’t insulting Ren when he calls them a bastard – they literally are a bastard, born from an affair.
> 
> I don't have a regular update schedule for this yet, since it really depends on college and how much time I can find with that going on. But look for updates about every week or every other week.
> 
> I'll love you forever if you'll give me kudos, bookmarks and I'll sell my soul for comments. Just please be gentle with your words? I am very soft.
> 
> Also, feel free to come scream at me about these two dorks, Vampire Knight in general or anything else over at my tumblr: https://steel-and-silver.tumblr.com/


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